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RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? - 10/6/2013 2:23:27 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		I think you may be writing things in such a way that people are misunderstanding you?

Your not being able to leave the house for a week after you had a 3 day rehearsal was because the rehearsal process aggravated a physical condition you have which causes severe pain and is separate from your noise issue?
That isn't how it read... .
btw: if your issue is related to your back, spinal nerve issues could possibly be contributing to your noise/nausea problem.



In any event, a counselor might be able to help you deal with things from a stress reduction perspective.

_____________________________

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RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? - 10/6/2013 2:28:18 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackTigerDragon

When did I say I would 'ignore' them? This may surprise you but people like me actually ARE capable of spending time with people. We're not retards. We however are NOT capable of spending time with people when we are on the verge of passing out and some special snowflake doesn't want their fee fees hurt by being ignored. That is not my problem, that is THEIR problem and THEY are selfish for demanding my energy that I don't even have. Don't I have the right to fucking REST when I'm tired? Or do I just instantly loose it when I become a dominant? Is it a dominants job to be tired all the time or something? If so, then I would not support this lifestyle at all.


Do you think it's productive to go about expressing yourself here in the most abrasive way possible?

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RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? - 10/6/2013 2:28:30 PM   
BlackTigerDragon


Posts: 180
Joined: 4/1/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

I think you may be writing things in such a way that people are misunderstanding you?

Your not being able to leave the house for a week after you had a 3 day rehearsal was because the rehearsal process aggravated a physical condition you have which causes severe pain and is separate from your noise issue?
That isn't how it read... .
btw: if your issue is related to your back, spinal nerve issues could possibly be contributing to your noise/nausea problem.



In any event, a counselor might be able to help you deal with things from a stress reduction perspective.


My physical and other issues are so related that I can't even tell if they're separate or symptoms of the same condition anymore. But I already know what the problem is and I already know what I need to fix it because funnily enough I tried it and it worked and it completely cures the problem when used right. It's called SPACE which I have been demanding this whole time!

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? - 10/6/2013 2:39:34 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		I think you are really missing something: people are responding because they are trying to be helpful.

You are responding as if everyone is trying to attack you.
Attacking helpful people seems pretty counterproductive to me.

Space may be the remedy to your problem, but unless you can afford to live on your own, then it isn't something that you are going to find all on your own terms.

Maybe since your issue is so intertwined, it might be time to find a doctor who will look at the whole problem and work on finding a solution/remedy so that you are free to live out in the world.

Not a doctor, don't even play one on TV... just trying to apply some common sense.
I had Shingles once.
Terrible, excruciating pain.
Stress made it worse.
Managing the stress made the pain significantly better.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

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RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? - 10/6/2013 2:41:15 PM   
BlackTigerDragon


Posts: 180
Joined: 4/1/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi


quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackTigerDragon

When did I say I would 'ignore' them? This may surprise you but people like me actually ARE capable of spending time with people. We're not retards. We however are NOT capable of spending time with people when we are on the verge of passing out and some special snowflake doesn't want their fee fees hurt by being ignored. That is not my problem, that is THEIR problem and THEY are selfish for demanding my energy that I don't even have. Don't I have the right to fucking REST when I'm tired? Or do I just instantly loose it when I become a dominant? Is it a dominants job to be tired all the time or something? If so, then I would not support this lifestyle at all.


Do you think it's productive to go about expressing yourself here in the most abrasive way possible?


Because this is the exact same attitude that let me to post this in the first place. That I need to see a dr to give me a diagnosis I already have. That there is something 'wrong' with me simply for needing something while dominants get to demand stuff they don't even need all the time. That there is something 'wrong' with me simply for being tired. It's this abelist attitude towards my condition that also causes my condition. I have heard some this same stuff from the very people who wasted my energy, including the ones who just shout 24/7.

I don't recall asking for armchair psychologists in my OP. I'm pretty sure I asked if it were possible to get what I'm looking for. Instead some people aren't even answering the question I asked in the first place. Can we stay on topic and not derail the thread?

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RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? - 10/6/2013 2:47:54 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		To be very clear, on your original question: there is a lot more work to becoming a dominant partner than just making a demand that the person who is submitting to you be silent 24/7.

Relationships, even D/s ones, don't work that simply.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? - 10/6/2013 3:29:32 PM   
BlackTigerDragon


Posts: 180
Joined: 4/1/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

To be very clear, on your original question: there is a lot more work to becoming a dominant partner than just making a demand that the person who is submitting to you be silent 24/7.

Relationships, even D/s ones, don't work that simply.


I wouldn't expect anyone to be silent 24/7. But if they are completely incapable of respecting another persons space, then I WOULD expect them to be silent 24/7. And I wouldn't want them anywhere near me. But then they probably shouldn't be out in public without supervision anyway.

(in reply to angelikaJ)
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RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? - 10/6/2013 4:04:18 PM   
VideoAdminRho


Posts: 2055
Joined: 3/24/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackTigerDragon
Can we stay on topic and not derail the thread?


We consider this to be normal thread drift, and therefore okay to post.

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? - 10/6/2013 4:47:08 PM   
CatBBW


Posts: 43
Joined: 9/20/2013
Status: offline 		FR

Actually, can empathise with the OP and I kind of know what she's saying. I too live alone (bar 2 cats) because (even though I actually do LIKE people and socialising, and I'm a friendly person!) I can't stand the talking and generally having people in my personal space. The constant, overwhelming, butting into your head space interuptions. I get exhausted from just an hour of my grandson chattering. It's the reason why I'm not rich - if I had actually managed to face the world (well, London) and could cope with the bombardment of NOISE on a daily basis, I would have been out there doing my thang and earning the coin, instead of hiding in my home looking for peace.

I don't see why you - BlackTigerDragon - couldn't find the right sub/slave for you, and I don't see why the noise/space respect should be an issue once you find them. You just need the right 'command' word, and after some practice, your sub/slave will respect your command.

Good luck OP

< Message edited by CatBBW -- 10/6/2013 4:54:40 PM >

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RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? - 10/6/2013 4:49:28 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Well, I'll be honest. It seems like a case of reaping what you sow. Your posts come across as abrasive, intolerant, self centered and domineering.

Can you find someone that would be quiet? Probably. Would they be doing it out of respecting your space? Probably not. It would be done out of the fact that you're what we locally refer to as a "beating".

It really goes back to the "If you think everyone is an asshole" rule...

Signed ~

The Armchair Psychologist


_____________________________

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? - 10/6/2013 4:56:52 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Is it a dominants job to be tired all the time or something?

My experience is that it's an adults job to be exhausted all the time.
Wish someone had told me that when I was a kid and wanting so badly to be a grown up.

_____________________________

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HST

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? - 10/6/2013 5:01:22 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatBBW

FR

Actually, can empathise with the OP and I kind of know what she's saying. I too live alone (bar 2 cats) because (even though I actually do LIKE people and socialising, and I'm a friendly person!) I can't stand the talking and generally having people in my personal space. The constant, overwhelming, butting into your head space interuptions. I get exhausted from just an hour of my grandson chattering.


I get this. I was raised an only child. I am the queen of the "Mental Health Day" which means that I don't want to to talk to anybody. But there's a way to do it and still show kindness and respect to those around you.

But telling someone to "shut the fuck up" or fuck off" is not it....


quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackTigerDragon
They're morons compared to humans yet training them to do something that's apparently 'too hard' like STFU is fucking EASY!!!


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? - 10/6/2013 5:49:18 PM   
evesgrden


Posts: 597
Joined: 6/9/2012
Status: offline
quote:

I don't recall asking for armchair psychologists in my OP. I'm pretty sure I asked if it were possible to get what I'm looking for. Instead some people aren't even answering the question I asked in the first place.



Your posts have come across as desperate frustrated and angry. It sounds like you want to be a dominant so you can have a companion who has to shut when you when you want them to.

So no, I don't think you're going to find someone to meet your needs. On the other hand, I've also received pleas from people begging to do anything to get away from their current situation, so maybe there is someone who'd be willing to be with you. I don't know if you'd call it d/s or not.

FWIW, there are folks here with plenty of sheepskin hanging from their walls while they're typing from their armchairs.

Just because you've gotten a diagnosis doesn't mean you have your shit together. You don't sound too tightly wrapped frankly. While it's a stretch for me to infer this but reading your posts makes me think of someone who's ready to start smashing anything handy and screaming at the world around them if the noise wouldn't be so aversive to you.


Yeah yeah yeah.. wouldn't be the first time I'm wrong about something.

But my gut says you're in no position to assume responsibility for someone else's life on top of dealing with your own. Is that what you really want? To be responsible for someone else in addition to yourself and your own issues?

_____________________________

What you permit, you promote.

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RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? - 10/6/2013 5:59:00 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I don't recall asking for armchair psychologists in my OP. I'm pretty sure I asked if it were possible to get what I'm looking for. Instead some people aren't even answering the question I asked in the first place. Can we stay on topic and not derail the thread?

We're a generous bunch, so we sometimes give more than an OP asks for.

As Twelve Steppers say, take what you like and leave the rest.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to BlackTigerDragon)
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RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? - 10/6/2013 6:14:25 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: evesgrden

Just because you've gotten a diagnosis doesn't mean you have your shit together.


This is absolutely correct. Physical illness takes a toll, mentally. I saw a therapist after I was diagnosed with cancer to deal with my anger and grief.

Signed ~

A woman with a sheep skin


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to evesgrden)
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RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? - 10/6/2013 6:24:45 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		To the OP....First, you must master your self.

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yep

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? - 10/6/2013 6:36:09 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackTigerDragon


quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

To be very clear, on your original question: there is a lot more work to becoming a dominant partner than just making a demand that the person who is submitting to you be silent 24/7.

Relationships, even D/s ones, don't work that simply.


I wouldn't expect anyone to be silent 24/7. But if they are completely incapable of respecting another persons space, then I WOULD expect them to be silent 24/7. And I wouldn't want them anywhere near me. But then they probably shouldn't be out in public without supervision anyway.


That isn't what I meant.

I have a dominant partner, and yes, He can make demands on me and the majority of the time I give Him what He asks. But that is because He has earned the right to.
I trust His judgement.
He has my devotion and love....

... but taking away the fact that he is my dominant partner, if he were to ask me for something, I would gladly do it, because he has my devotion and love.

For clarity's sake: I am making 2 points:
1) My partner earned the right to demand things of me within the context of a D/s environment.
That takes work: demonstrating one is deserving of such a position is not instantaneous.
2) In a loving relationship people do all sorts of things to promote their partner's well-being and happiness.

Maybe you just need to work on creating a loving relationship with someone who has the capacity to be quiet.

According to your posts, you have been or are living with those that you would characterize as being "completely incapable of respecting another persons space"
In which case, [you] wouldn't want them anywhere near [you]. But then they probably shouldn't be out in public without supervision anyway."

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to BlackTigerDragon)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? - 10/6/2013 6:39:30 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

My experience is that it's an adults job to be exhausted all the time.
Wish someone had told me that when I was a kid and wanting so badly to be a grown up.

I've concluded that one spends the first half of life fighting sleep and the second half craving it.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? - 10/6/2013 6:51:45 PM   
pissdoll


Posts: 343
Joined: 5/25/2005
Status: offline 		okay, so i dated a guy for a couple years who sounds a lot like you.
he was a genius scientist so it was kinda fun.
he had quirks like you do. and i put up with them for a while.
but then it got to a point where i was ready to move to the next level (living together) and it was VERY clear that he couldn't do it, wouldn't do it, wasn't going to happen.

now i'm engaged to someone else.

so yeah, i think you might find someone short-term to be with you if you are interesting and intelligent and have a lot going for you in the initial meetings. but your challenge is going to be keeping a relationship in the long term.
for me, it wasn't worth catering to scientist dude's quirks (which sometimes could lead him be downright cruel) without any type of commitment from him whatsoever when there were so many other men out there without those quirks who were single and available and capable of committing.

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RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? - 10/6/2013 6:57:56 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Asking for an hour of quiet from a partner is acceptable. Demanding a week of no interaction is not.

You don't seem to get it that the other person in the relationship has just as much right to have their needs fulfilled as do you.

You don't seem to be a good candidate for much more than a fuck buddy. See them when it's convenient for both of you, otherwise not.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 60
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