I'm sorry I've not been here but you remember my mum was sick?

I'm sorry I've not been here but you remember my mum was sick? (Full Version)

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Missdressed -> I'm sorry I've not been here but you remember my mum was sick? (10/6/2013 2:35:56 AM)
Well, she's now had a stroke. Not the worst, but enough that it has changed her life. I am wrung out. Worn down and really fed up with keeping on keeping on. Dad is good but he isn't facing up to it all either. She's still getting clots any of which could go to her brain any time. I'm also just venting really. And missing kink lol

TigressLily -> RE: I'm sorry I've not been here but you remember my mum was sick? (10/6/2013 3:15:42 AM)
Hoping for as rapid and full a recovery as possible for your mom. You're in overdrive mode, and I know you must be feeling you don't have the luxury of taking a moment to catch your breath and not become exhausted in the process. What helped me when I had two family members hospitalized (in two different states) during the same period of time was to fill my head with music. I call it my music therapy. Music has been likened to the language expression of the emotions, and when I had so many emotions flooding me at once, I found it soothing and/or invigorating. Whichever I needed most at any given moment. You have to be stay strong, dear, and it's no easy task. Much more lies ahead, so try your best to take care of yourself and your dad (who no doubt is struggling to be strong and functional daily as well). At least you still have your mom for the both of you to care for while she recuperates. Count your blessings. Now is when you'll find out who your true friends really are, and please do allow them to share in your burdens without carrying them on your own shoulders independently. If you are in a relationship with your sub, don't push him away or be reluctant to let him see you in a vulnerable state. If you aren't, perhaps there is a play partner you can become closer to. There's nothing unDommely about admitting to yourself how much you might need your sub as much as he needs you. It's okay to vent instead of keeping everything bottled up inside (without losing one's temper or lashing out at others, of course). Best wishes for a favorable outcome. _____________________________ * * * Not A Fetish/Kink Delivery System * * *

Missdressed -> RE: I'm sorry I've not been here but you remember my mum was sick? (10/6/2013 3:21:42 AM)
That is exactly it. And funny, I use music too. Last night there was a lot of avenged sevenfold and ac/DC but it varies lol Thank you for replying. I am aware I've vented my friends out. If you get my drift. Plus, they haven't been through I so they don't understand

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: I'm sorry I've not been here but you remember my mum was sick? (10/6/2013 3:26:37 AM)
I'm sorry. I can only imagine the exhaustion and emotional turmoil you are going through. I'm sure your parents feel greatly comforted by your support. I hope your mother has the best outcome possible. Whatever you do, don't feel guilty for being worn out or taking some time to take care of your own needs. You know what they say, fit your own oxygen mask before helping the passenger beside you.

Missdressed -> RE: I'm sorry I've not been here but you remember my mum was sick? (10/6/2013 3:37:05 AM)
Athena that is very wise. I am actually going to take some time this week and a bit of step back. My lovely charming alcoholic drug using brother is visiting. My last nerve is just about frayed.

DarkSteven -> RE: I'm sorry I've not been here but you remember my mum was sick? (10/6/2013 4:44:17 AM)
I have a spare bedroom here if you want to hide out. They'd never think of looking for you in the States. Good luck getting through this well.

Missdressed -> RE: I'm sorry I've not been here but you remember my mum was sick? (10/6/2013 4:50:29 AM)
You have NO idea how tempting that is :)

kallisto -> RE: I'm sorry I've not been here but you remember my mum was sick? (10/6/2013 4:54:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders Whatever you do, don't feel guilty for being worn out or taking some time to take care of your own needs. You know what they say, fit your own oxygen mask before helping the passenger beside you. This is the best advise ever. So many people feel guilty when they get worn out or their emotions begin to crumble. You have to take time for you or you won't be able to take care of those around you. My thoughts are with you as you go through this difficult time.

DesFIP -> RE: I'm sorry I've not been here but you remember my mum was sick? (10/6/2013 8:25:16 AM)
Caregiver burnout is a real issue. You need to take care of yourself as well. Good luck getting through this and all my best.

MasterCaneman -> RE: I'm sorry I've not been here but you remember my mum was sick? (10/6/2013 12:56:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Caregiver burnout is a real issue. You need to take care of yourself as well. Good luck getting through this and all my best. Missdressed, that ^^^ right there. Just about a year ago my mother succumbed after years of invisible "mini-strokes". I was worn out physically and mentally. I spent the last couple years caring for her, at the expense of my career and almost my relationship. You NEED to take a step back, breathe, and focus on yourself. Accept what is, do what you can, and understand that there are things that can't ever be. The only concrete advice I can give you is to 1: ensure her care is comprehensive and managed by someone who is dispassionate. Sounds cold, but a family member sometimes isn't the right person for the job. 2: Ensure that the situation would remain stable in your absence, should that come to pass. 3: Once those first two things are done, make sure you take the time for yourself. Don't let it coast by, you'll regret it later. Best of luck to you, and my best wishes. I'd say I'll pray for you, but that's not how I operate. Still, all the best.

dcnovice -> RE: I'm sorry I've not been here but you remember my mum was sick? (10/6/2013 1:52:52 PM)
quote: Caregiver burnout is a real issue. You need to take care of yourself as well. Wise words indeed. As the airlines counsel us, put your own oxygen mask on first. [:)] Warmest wishes to you and yours!

Missdressed -> RE: I'm sorry I've not been here but you remember my mum was sick? (10/6/2013 2:35:21 PM)
Thanks guys. Had a more positive day today - my daughter has made a national u16 squad in a sport she plays. V proud :)

noellesdestiny -> RE: I'm sorry I've not been here but you remember my mum was sick? (10/6/2013 3:19:21 PM)
Here's to a speedy recovery!

MistressDarkArt -> RE: I'm sorry I've not been here but you remember my mum was sick? (10/6/2013 6:19:53 PM)
Missdressed, my thoughts are with you. Been there, done that, still washing the t-shirt. The best advice I got during the siege was acknowledge the shittiness of it, love them the best you can, and take enough time-outs to keep yourself adequately rested and sane. It also doesn't hurt to ask for and accept help from others, even the simplest, smallest things. Most people would be happy to take in your trash cans or pick up something for you at the store.

Missdressed -> RE: I'm sorry I've not been here but you remember my mum was sick? (10/6/2013 10:39:22 PM)
Well, I've wakened up this morning with a stinking cold. Which probably explains to a degree my shitty mood yesterday. I do need to find some time off somewhere in the schedule though

ShaharThorne -> RE: I'm sorry I've not been here but you remember my mum was sick? (10/7/2013 4:49:47 AM)
Dayquil pills and warm tea... See if you qualify for respite care. I was a respite caregiver for one of my best friends while she was getting her degree in social work (her son was special needs).

TigressLily -> RE: I'm sorry I've not been here but you remember my mum was sick? (10/7/2013 5:40:36 AM)
Take mega doses of Vitamin C to boost your immune system, which passes through the body whenever you urinate. Ester-C works best since it's time-released for 24-hr/day immune support. quote: ORIGINAL: Missdressed Well, I've wakened up this morning with a stinking cold. Which probably explains to a degree my shitty mood yesterday. I do need to find some time off somewhere in the schedule though Honey in your tea helps. I think we all know to get plenty of rest whenever possible. Hope you get well soon. ETA: Make sure you are using anti-bacterial hand sanitizer often. I forgot to do so one day while visiting the hospital cafeteria and came down with a sore throat I couldn't shake for a couple weeks, and I didn't want to take any chances of infecting others so I had to quarantine myself for a few days. _____________________________ * * * Not A Fetish/Kink Delivery System * * *

dcnovice -> RE: I'm sorry I've not been here but you remember my mum was sick? (10/7/2013 7:12:19 AM)
FR Are you familiar with CaringBridge? If not, you may want to check it out. It's a handy tool for tapping all those kind folks who ask, "How can I help?" You set up a "support planner"--a calendar on which you identify times that you could use help. Then your loved ones (whom you've invited to join CB) can sign up for any tasks they can help with. You might, for instance, recruit someone to be with Mum for a few hours so that you can get a haircut, shop, or just generally unwind. I found the site a huge help during radiation and chemo.

Missdressed -> RE: I'm sorry I've not been here but you remember my mum was sick? (10/7/2013 10:05:45 AM)
You guys are great. Thanks so much.

Missdressed -> RE: I'm sorry I've not been here but you remember my mum was sick? (10/7/2013 10:36:04 AM)
Dad just rang. Shes had another stroke. He took her to the local hospital and they have transferred her to a big hospital over an hour away. Fuck.

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