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REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 10/17/2013 2:25:23 PM   
amonlyaslave


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/25/2012
Status: offline 		Masters, what is the BEST advice could you give a “vanilla” man (so he can comprehend) what it takes to be a GENUINE MASTER? He wants to learn on HOW to be a Master, and wants someone to tell him how he can!

< Message edited by amonlyaslave -- 10/17/2013 2:27:00 PM >
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RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 10/17/2013 2:33:37 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Step 1: That he ask for help himself.

...unless you're really hoping he will turn into your personal service top. Which is fine by me -- I've service-topped women and we both enjoyed it. But there's something off about someone who "am only a slave" asking this question.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to amonlyaslave)
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RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 10/17/2013 2:39:48 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Top of this page, BDSM Book List.

Beyond that, read here and figure out what he's interested in and what he isn't. Then he can read and learn more about what does attract him.

Your job is to be his cheerleader. To be grateful and appreciative for whatever dominance and topping he wants to use.

But if you're going to criticize him for needing to take a year to get over the dichotomy of how he can be pleasing someone by making them cry, then you would do better to end it now. Because it is difficult for someone new and it takes a long time. Accept that.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 10/17/2013 6:03:17 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Being a Master requires integrity, and being strong enough to take care of yourself and a slave at the same time.

Knowing bondage, whips, sensation play, flogging, and spanking doesn't hurt either.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 10/17/2013 8:37:46 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amonlyaslave
Masters, what is the BEST advice could you give a “vanilla” man (so he can comprehend) what it takes to be a GENUINE MASTER? He wants to learn on HOW to be a Master, and wants someone to tell him how he can!

That depends on what you mean by a "genuine master". It also depends on where he is starting from. For me, it was simply the realization that I was a leader in all other aspects of my life and there was no particular reason to think leading in my home wouldn't turn out well. Mostly, I just had to draw the parallels to common, every day vanilla activities that I do all the time. I also had to realize that Carol is very much a submissive personality. In her own words, "she prefers to defer". Conversely, I tend to find myself in leadership situations... a "natural born leader". So for us, there was a fair bit of simply acknowledging that which was.

It'd be easier to post useful advice if he was asking specific questions himself.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to amonlyaslave)
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RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 10/17/2013 9:33:08 PM   
Masterlikes31


Posts: 12
Joined: 10/17/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amonlyaslave

Masters, what is the BEST advice could you give a “vanilla” man (so he can comprehend) what it takes to be a GENUINE MASTER? He wants to learn on HOW to be a Master, and wants someone to tell him how he can!


Trial and error..lol. Honestly, the best way for you to learn the basics is to find a vanilla sub. Learn together, then you don't need to worry with living up to a seasoned sub's standards. This is not something you learn to be either, this is something that is inside you. A alpha male. Also, being a "master" is not about making your sub do as you please. She or he needs to want to please you. That takes work on your end. Oh...lose the amonlyaslave name...not a good start. Best of luck to you!

(in reply to amonlyaslave)
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RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 10/17/2013 10:25:27 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		An Alpha MALE? Are you quite sure?

~~~~~

To the OP,

I don't know if the quest for Mastery is related to an outside influence. If it is in your situation, and he follows through with commitment and education and doing what he does because it is greater than himself, that's pretty cool in My book.

What's the best advice that I would give? I would encourage his participation in the leather community. No, it's not the path that most people take, but I know where I came from.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Masterlikes31)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 10/17/2013 10:34:11 PM   
Masterlikes31


Posts: 12
Joined: 10/17/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

An Alpha MALE? Are you quite sure?

~~~~~

To the OP,

I don't know if the quest for Mastery is related to an outside influence. If it is in your situation, and he follows through with commitment and education and doing what he does because it is greater than himself, that's pretty cool in My book.

What's the best advice that I would give? I would encourage his participation in the leather community. No, it's not the path that most people take, but I know where I came from.



Hmm, well i've never known a dom who wasn't a strong male or female.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 10/17/2013 10:41:04 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		A lesson learned. Don't be so sure that *MALES* alone learn Mastery.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Masterlikes31)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 10/17/2013 11:19:05 PM   
Masterlikes31


Posts: 12
Joined: 10/17/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

A lesson learned. Don't be so sure that *MALES* alone learn Mastery.



*Smiles* I was speaking from my point of view. I know that there are just as many alpha women as men. I was in no way being sexist if that is how it came off to you.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 10/18/2013 12:38:20 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Of course..... Of course.

Though, in our future dealings, I prefer to avoid that "alpha female" thing. I'm not leading a pack of wolves here.

Gender aside, I happen to be a selfish prick. I wouldn't have invested Myself to embark on Mastery (or the attempt of such) for the sake of somebody else. Other people are far less self centered than, and far more noble, than I. Mastery, for Me, was more about My inner self.

Jeff, up there...... He's more the type to do the "Mastery for a partner" thing than I am. Then again, he's probably a better human being than Me.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Masterlikes31)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 10/18/2013 12:44:47 AM   
Toysinbabeland


Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Knowing bondage, whips, sensation play, flogging, and spanking doesn't hurt either.



Er, that depends upon which side of the kneel one is on....

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 10/18/2013 4:38:07 AM   
SunTzuSwe


Posts: 82
Joined: 4/25/2013
Status: offline 		Let's start at the beginning. What does HE want? What does he want to get out of it? What turns him on?
To be a master I'd say there are few bdsm attributes that are super important, regular vanilla attributes are imho way more important. Integrity, honesty, morale, stability, being responsible and trustworthy would be a good start. Anyone can swing a whip... Start with the internal attributes.

(in reply to Toysinbabeland)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 10/18/2013 6:11:46 AM   
punisher440


Posts: 4122
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline 		OP...from my understanding of your question,you want a quick,simple answer on how to magically turn yourself into a dominant from a vanilla...it just isn't going to happen. Yes, you can slap a wolf's hide on a sheep but that doesn't turn the sheep into a wolf...a sheep is what it is and will be no matter how hard you try to change it. Of course you can learn the tricks of the trade[rope work,flogging,sensory deprivation,etc] but that does not make you dominant...only kinky. Like many others, I shy away from anyone declaring they are "real" or "genuine" Masters because each of us see things a little differently on how we go about our lives and what we do in them. That doesn't make any one way more genuine or real...only more right for the ones living it.

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1H-Y7MAASkg&feature=related

(in reply to SunTzuSwe)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 10/18/2013 6:15:46 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amonlyaslave

Masters, what is the BEST advice could you give a “vanilla” man (so he can comprehend) what it takes to be a GENUINE MASTER? He wants to learn on HOW to be a Master, and wants someone to tell him how he can!


The best advice I could possibly be would be "Be yourself."



_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to amonlyaslave)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 1/1/2014 4:45:59 PM   
D0MBLKMAN2Serve


Posts: 46
Joined: 11/8/2012
Status: offline 		So he wants to be a master. Answer the following:
> Is he a man of principles? Do these principles ( if he is a man of principles) resonate with you
> Does he have the integrity and honesty needed for any kind of relationship?
> Is he a responsible man with huge reserves of patience?
> Is he capable ot taking care of himself whilst taking care of you and vice versa?Becoming a master is a highly responsible task, akin to the 'man' of the household. He will be looked up to by one and all. So ask yourself can he play this role in real life?

If the answer to all these questions are yes, then there are plenty of BDSM related literature that he can read up. Remember becoming a master is a journey. It will take time.

(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 1/1/2014 5:25:44 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Step 1: That he ask for help himself.


Seriously.....you can't learn it for him/her, they need to do it themselves.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 1/1/2014 5:29:35 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amonlyaslave

Masters, what is the BEST advice could you give a “vanilla” man (so he can comprehend) what it takes to be a GENUINE MASTER? He wants to learn on HOW to be a Master, and wants someone to tell him how he can!

He could:
A-Become ninja at the fine art of sending cock shots, and
B-Practice looking in the mirror and repeatedly saying, "Drop and suck, bitch."
C-Go to Bondage U,get a Masters degree

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to amonlyaslave)
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RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 1/1/2014 5:44:15 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		.





Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to amonlyaslave)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: REAL MASTER'S HELP, PLEASE: - 1/3/2014 11:42:09 AM   
D0MBLKMAN2Serve


Posts: 46
Joined: 11/8/2012
Status: offline 		Fuck could not agree more!! Well Done littlewonder!

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 20
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