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shorty123 -> very new (10/28/2013 2:10:51 AM)
I am very new to bdsm and don't know much about it but my master is and I want to make him happy any help u can give

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: very new (10/28/2013 2:38:31 AM)
We might be able to help, but you are going to have to be a bit more specific. It's kinda like saying 'I want to be a wife, tell me everything about marriage'. It's a big wide topic, and everyone does it differently. Why not start by telling us a bit about you? How long have you been with him? Were you always dom/sub in this relationship, or is this new? What kind of help is he giving you to get used to it? What appeals to you about submitting to him? What are you struggling with? When you say 'Master' is he in charge of everything you do - work, social life, money etc - or just in the bedroom? Do you live together? We need to know what sort of thing you are hoping to learn. Some of the things people ask about are safety tips for kinky play, setting up rules and routines, communicating with each other, getting involved in the local kink community, or figuring out what they need emotionally. Are any of those things what you really wanted to ask, or something else? Please don't just say 'everything' because then it is too hard to answer you in a sensible way. Remember you can stay here as long as you like and ask as many questions as you like, so try to narrow your questions down a bit to one topic at a time so we can help.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: very new (10/28/2013 3:39:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shorty123 I am very new to bdsm and don't know much about it but my master is and I want to make him happy any help u can give Your absolute best person for advice is your master. As Athena said, everyone does it differently and your master is the only one that can tell you what makes him pleased with you. Anything else is just a guess on our part.

kalikshama -> RE: very new (10/28/2013 1:10:49 PM)
Short answer - obey. Long answer - When my (now ex) husband and I were new to BDSM, we found many of the non fiction books in -=BDSM Book List=- helpful. We also went to munches, joined groups, made friends, got invited to private play parties, found a mentor, etc. I haven't met a dominant who has done these things who has any shortage of ideas about what he wants his sub/slave to do. My man has never done any of the above and has no problem expressing what will make will make him happy, for example: - what I should wear when we have sex - what to do in bed - our outside social activities - what to wear when we go out - what I should make for dinner if I am short on inspiration - that I should get cloth napkins - what DVDs I should get at the library to supplement our Netflix queue If all else fails, suck his cock.

Blonderfluff -> RE: very new (10/28/2013 1:22:25 PM)
If you want to make your Master happy the best place to go for answers is.....drum roll.....HIM!! Seriously. It's great you are here trying to learn. But throwing such a general question out there makes it hard to help.

littlewonder -> RE: very new (10/28/2013 7:08:29 PM)
Simple. Do what he tells you.

anniezz338 -> RE: very new (10/28/2013 7:45:41 PM)
I'm assuming your master is experienced? I suggest you work on figuring out your own needs and limits, with your master's help of course. It's very easy to do what someone else tells you to do but what's in it for you? It's a give and take from both ends. Some would disagree that it's all about the giving on the sub/slave side and that the giving to master is the end all and be all of the relationship. Bullshit.

shorty123 -> RE: very new (10/29/2013 1:09:29 AM)
well thanks he just keep sying something about me need training or some like that and I do not know what that means and he has so many rules it is hard for me to remember all of them will I ever

shorty123 -> RE: very new (10/29/2013 1:14:15 AM)
umm wow I am just new to this when I got with my master he told me about bdsm and the more told me the more I wanted to do it but I never knew there would be so many rules and I gess what I was really asking is how do I keep up with them

shorty123 -> RE: very new (10/29/2013 1:18:59 AM)
ok forgive me I was a little on the da seelpy side when I posted this I am really wondering how am I suppose to keep up with all his rules there r so many of them

MissKittyDeVine -> RE: very new (10/29/2013 1:27:14 AM)
Is he your master purely online, or do you know him in real life?

SoulAlloy -> RE: very new (10/29/2013 2:07:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama If all else fails, suck his cock. Surely a quote of the day lol But I'd suggest if you're having trouble keeping up with all the rules, discuss the issues with your Master. Especially if there are ones you feel you can't physically/emotionally/morally abide by. Otherwise perhaps focus on a few rules and accept the consequences of potentially missing the others until you get into the swing of it.

tabbz -> RE: very new (10/29/2013 2:11:16 AM)
...tell Him you're struggling...ask Him what are the main 3-5 He wants you to focus on.....then focus on them!

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: very new (10/29/2013 3:31:44 AM)
If was really a 'master' or even a good dominant, he would slowly introduce these things to you and start out with a few things he wants you to do, as opposed to thinking he can have an insta-slave. Now answer the question: Is this a totally online thing? Have you ever met this man? How well do you know him?

Darkfeather -> RE: very new (10/29/2013 7:12:44 AM)
Yeah, truth of it is, if you are having issues or questions it is him at fault. A rule is meaningless if it cannot be understood, and as the one who dictates the rule, it is up to him to make sure you can both comprehend and follow. Best thing you can do, is talk with him, make sure he tells you all aspects of his rules, and how he wants them followed. Once you know the particulars, it should be a bit easier to remember, as having a set routine and guidelines forces this.

DarkSteven -> RE: very new (10/29/2013 7:14:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shorty123 umm wow I am just new to this when I got with my master he told me about bdsm and the more told me the more I wanted to do it but I never knew there would be so many rules and I gess what I was really asking is how do I keep up with them The number of rules is not a part of BDSM. That's a part of the relationship you and he have. Personally, I don't like a lot of rules because I then have to track compliance with all of them.

petitespot -> RE: very new (10/29/2013 9:07:56 AM)
Do what he says. If it means you have to make a list of his rules, then make a list.

shorty123 -> RE: very new (10/29/2013 8:47:50 PM)
he is my master in real life I live with him

graceadieu -> RE: very new (10/29/2013 8:57:02 PM)
Did you two have a relationship before you started into the kinky stuff? From what you say, this is very, very new to you and yet you live with him. You two need to talk. Tell him you can't manage all the rules yet. You might feel nervous that you're letting him down, but it's better to communicate.

shorty123 -> RE: very new (10/29/2013 8:58:00 PM)
I love myself just they way I am

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