Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your limit?

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Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your limit? - 11/8/2013 9:25:59 PM

NaturallyCre8tiv

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If so, did it elevate fear within you, and did you find that exciting? Or did it terrify you and not want to go there?

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RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 11/8/2013 11:35:16 PM

Nakhla

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I'm pretty clear about my limits, and they are extremely few in number so not all that hard to keep track of. When they have been crossed, I've walked, that's just how I am. I'm monogamous, so if a guy cheats on me, I'm gone. When it happened it was neither exciting nor terrifying I just felt... sad, and tired.

On the other hand, I've done a number of things for a dominant I did not want to do out of submission to him. Sometimes it turned out it was a good thing, often times neutral, sometimes I'd thought it would be bad and it turned out bad. Relatively little of these things were BDSM though, mostly had to with work, school, finances, social situations with other friends, co-workers, and roommates.

I have almost no limits in terms of BDSM play so that doesn't really count somehow. In general I've found most self-styled extreme sadists to actually be very attentive and considerate people when it comes to fixing me up after and making sure I'm in a good head-space that I have relatively little fears here even if their taste for pain exceeds my tolerance. Maybe I've just been lucky that way?

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RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 11/9/2013 12:05:59 AM

myotherself

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It depended on the limit. If it was a 'I really don't want to do that, but I will if you really really REALLY want to do it...but I ain't gonna enjoy it!' kind of limit, then yes he has, many times.

If it was a 'I cannot do that ever because of this (valid) reason and if you do it I will be damaged emotionally and it will likely destroy my trust in you' kind of limit, then no he hasn't.

We have an M/s relationship where he gets to do what he wants, when he wants. My role is to obey. But he also loves me and wants to keep me physically and emotionally healthy, so some of my limits he will never, ever even consider pushing.

As to how it made me feel - mostly not good at the time. And to be honest, I still hated the particular activity afterwards. But it did make me feel good in a away that I managed to please my Master despite my own negativity towards the activity.

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RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 11/9/2013 3:49:05 AM

easy2control

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personally, I find the fear extremely exciting even while i'm whimpering. being taken past my limits is probably the most important and exciting part of a d/s relationship. it shows me that Master truly believes He owns me and that I truly believe I am property

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RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 11/9/2013 1:38:13 PM

littleone35

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Master and i have many of the same limits. We have talked and he know th soft lmits (ie the ones tha can be oushed) and he does do that. We talk about tt afterword if i did not like him i am to tell him, that does not mean he will not do it agan it it is something he enjoys. I have one limit which would be a hard limit for anyone else a soft limit with him cause it is somethng he really enjoys. I did not like it at first bu t learned to enjoy it. If he ever broke any of my hard limits i would walk away becasse it would mean he just wanted what he wanted did not care about me. He will not do tha t though because he loves me and want me to be happy. He also calls me HIS good girl and he he broke a hard limit i would be neither.

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RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 11/9/2013 2:40:31 PM

DesFIP

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My limits are health limits. I would not find it desirable for him to deliberately cause an attack of vertigo or a panic attack.

The only one we played with wasn't exactly a limit. Prior to menopause I could occasionally be excited into such a state that after several orgasms, I couldn't stop. And he could keep me in that state by adding back touching me when I would start to slow down.

I was injudicious enough to mention one time that I wondered what would happen if he didn't stop when I started begging him to. The result is that I had zero interest in sex for the next four days. Apparently it totally depleted my libido.

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RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 11/9/2013 4:03:35 PM

SeekingTrinity

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~FRing it~

For my guy and I...we deal in soft and hard limits. Soft ones can be pushed. Hard ones fall under the category of "DO NOT CROSS EVER." The lines are very clear and we have established and based our trust in each other on that. I find no reward in pushing someone beyond where they have told me they are not willing to go.

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RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 11/9/2013 7:50:03 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NaturallyCre8tiv

If so, did it elevate fear within you, and did you find that exciting? Or did it terrify you and not want to go there?

Can't say I've ever really had any real limits. I've just always trusted the partner I was with and he did whatever he wanted to. His limits are my limits. Am I afraid? Sure I am. But I also trust him with my entire life and we both realize accidents happen because well....we're mortal humans and humans fuck up.

But I've never asked someone to "take me beyond my limits". I always felt if I had to do that then I was probably with the wrong man.

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RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 11/9/2013 10:36:38 PM

LordSion

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I had a fun pushing it, i pushed my last sum passed what she thought she could take and she found it a lot more enjoyably

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RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 11/10/2013 7:42:47 AM

Lunabear1234

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Yes.. As a newb.. I have been actively trying to go faster than my keeper wants to go., he's been calling me a SAM..I think mine is a desire to get to where he is in his experience..

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RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 11/10/2013 8:48:40 AM

OsideGirl

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So, basically, you're asking if I'd be happy if my Master disrespected me and lied to me. What do you think?

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RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 11/10/2013 9:30:28 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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Depends what you mean by 'limit'.

Usually here we say 'limit' to mean something we have agreed never to do, or something we feel would be harmful physically or emotionally. So in that respect, hell no. Example: bringing a third person into the bedroom is a limit for me. If he did it anyway, it would most likely end our relationship.

But if by 'limit' you mean something more like 'threshold' then yes. I have a point where I can't cope with the pain anymore and start to fight. Mentally I want to go further than that, because I know the eventual result will be very pleasurable. And physically I know it wouldn't cause me harm beyond some bruises. It's a sort of coping-limit that we don't stray past for ordinary fun but I do sometimes want to be pushed past. It is very scary, there are tears, I hate it when it happens but the vulnerability and the endorphines and the trust make a powerful cocktail of enjoyment the moment it is over. Is that more like what you meant, OP?

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RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 11/10/2013 12:50:13 PM

sheisreeds

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Soft limits, all the time. Though usually I'm not asked, and am barely willing, and sometimes don't even know it's going to happen. And my relationship is not D/s.

If I wanted to go past a limit, it wouldn't really be a limit then would it?

Hard limits? The relationship would be over. Of course those are around, lying, cheating, and I guess anything that would qualify as actual non-consent, or abuse.

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RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 11/10/2013 7:49:50 PM

Missokyst

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My limits are actual limits. Meaning there is no crossing them without consequences, injury, or exit. I don't play with limits because I know myself too well. Now that said I do have limits for any top I play with because I have varying degrees of trust and knowlege of that person. Only time and intimacy change those limits.

So, if someone wanted to push my limits, I would not have fear I would have anger. LOTS of it.

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RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 11/10/2013 8:00:32 PM

SacredDepravity

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I haven't been perfect in this, but I do my best to choose dominant partners well. By so doing, I am free of the worry of being disrespected and badly damaged and still able to go just as far as we can possibly go in the moment. The right match for me has a lot of the same interests and values. It doesn't mean there won't be concessions I will make for my partner's benefit (and my partner occasionally for me as well), but that we both have the same understanding and expectations of the relationship and what will happen within it.

All that being said, I used to be very self destructive and would want to be completely disregarded and violated, but it is not healthy and I have to give credit that every single person I've ever interacted with has been wise enough to deny me my potential physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual death wish. I can't thank them enough for respecting and caring for me more than I did for myself at those times.s

SD

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RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 11/11/2013 2:03:39 PM

kalikshama

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I find fear arousing, and we like fear play. But we don't do it around things that are Hard Limits, which for me are health or hygiene related, which he shares and wouldn't want to push anyway.

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RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 11/11/2013 2:26:16 PM

maidbeckychicago

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Needle play is a limit for me. A domme I once played with asked me if I wanted to try it. I am deathly afraid of needles, but somehow I did connect with her enough and we did go through with it.

It was a different experience, not erotic, but I took the experience as a net positive.

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RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 11/12/2013 7:09:40 AM

UllrsIshtar

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Yeah I do, I love being taken beyond my limits.

And when I say beyond my limits, I do mean "beyond what I would pose as hard limits both in and outside of that moment".

I love to be taken places I don't think I can handle, or don't want to be able to handle. It's the hottest kind of play to me.

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RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 11/12/2013 8:51:13 AM

crazyml

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quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

Yeah I do, I love being taken beyond my limits.

And when I say beyond my limits, I do mean "beyond what I would pose as hard limits both in and outside of that moment".

I love to be taken places I don't think I can handle, or don't want to be able to handle. It's the hottest kind of play to me.

Would it be fair to say that if any old joe rocked up and proposed to take you beyond your limits you'd send him on his way, though?

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RE: Have you ever wanted your Dom to take you past your... - 11/12/2013 9:03:51 AM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NaturallyCre8tiv
If so, did it elevate fear within you, and did you find that exciting? Or did it terrify you and not want to go there?

Carol and I don't do "limits" and we don't think this way. We also deal in hard-nosed reality. So for us this question would read as, "Does Carol want me to take her past her actual capabilities?" Since such a move would inevitably be destructive the answer is "no".

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