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I have been informed what my problem is.... - 11/20/2013 5:55:12 AM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
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From: Somewhere Texas
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I had been exchanging messages with a nice subbie on the other side who, after a couple of weeks decided she needed to point out the fact that I am a loser.

Now I initiated contact because of her repeated instances in her profile about the importance of family.

Now here are her points of evidence of my loser status.

1) I am buying a house with my sister, both our names are on the mortgage.

2) I let my sister have the master bedroom after she got married.

3) I let my niece move in when she renewed her relationship with my sister after 15 years of refusing to concede her mother's existence on the planet.

4) I "go looking" for excuses to increase my expenses.

5) The people I claim as family that live with me are not actually related by blood, and therefore I am letting them use me financially etc.


Okay, it is true that the woman I call my sister is not related by blood. She was my mother's in home caregiver before my mother passed away from complications arising from her having MS. She helped my mom in ways I couldnt, such as bathing, getting dressed, etc. She was my mother's constant companion, friend and my mom caller her "my daughter."

When my mom was in the hospital after a major heart attack, she asked Tami to look after me, I had just been diagnosed with bi polar disorder and mom knew that I went into suicidal depression under extreme stress, not to mention ptsd.

This of course means that my "niece" is not really my niece, and although she contributes financially to the house, I am still letting her live here for next to nothing, and since I watch Damian on occasion, she is using me for free baby sitting.

Then the "look for reasons to increase my expenses" is related to the fact that I am willing to travel "god knows how far" to go rescue "just a dog" that I have to "feed" and take care of vet bills.

Now when Gizzy, Tami's daughter started a relationship with tami after being estranged for so long, her father disowned her. The father's day cards, christmas cards and birthday cards she sends him come back "return to sender." When Tami's other daughter started talking to tami, he did the same thing to her.

Gizzy has Damian calling me "pop pop" since I am one of the two men in his life that are like fathers.

Gizzy and Crystal make sure that I get at least a card on father's day, birthdays, and they go out of their way to get me something for christmas. My son dumped his wife, took off cross country and did not even return my call when I left him a voice mail about my surgery last week. My daughter only contacts me for money or a place to crash when she gets evicted or her husband kicks her out, other than that I dont see her or her kids at all.

My sister by blood calls infrequently at best, and only to make sure I am alive, and to tell me about her and her husband's latest material acquisition. Big deal, he brings in an income in the high six figures, who cares? I dont need a 7 bedroom home, a boat, three cars, imported furniture etc.

My father disowned me when I enlisted in the army, although I do send him father's day cards, since that was my grandmother's last request of me.

Funny thing, I dont feel like a loser. I am surrounded by people who care about me. In my own way, I am doing no less than St. Francis when it comes to animals. I have a home that I like, I am building a home on some other property that I own at my own pace and as I can afford it.

But hey, I could be wrong.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI
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RE: I have been informed what my problem is.... - 11/20/2013 6:06:58 AM   
xxblushesxx


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Uhm. She is not a nice subbie. There are words for people like her, but I shouldn't say them. ***hugs***

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(in reply to jlf1961)
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RE: I have been informed what my problem is.... - 11/20/2013 6:44:06 AM   
MissKittyDeVine


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Her loss. I'd say far from being a loser, it makes you a very decent person.

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RE: I have been informed what my problem is.... - 11/20/2013 7:14:50 AM   
DarkSteven


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Another who claims to want one thing and wants another. Move on, nothing to see here.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: I have been informed what my problem is.... - 11/20/2013 7:15:53 AM   
mnottertail


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The Beatles wrote a song about you j, they will never write a song about her.  Fuck the bitch.

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RE: I have been informed what my problem is.... - 11/20/2013 7:31:56 AM   
Toysinbabeland


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From: the other end of Cx's leash
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rarely do members of the same family grow up under the same roof.

that IS your family.
You CHOSE them.

Even a girlfriend or wife or submissive is "chosen"....does that not make them like a family?

If you are a loser, it is not for choosing people to care for, or dogs to rescue.

Hand her a mirror J.


~toys

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RE: I have been informed what my problem is.... - 11/20/2013 7:37:40 AM   
Apocalypso


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quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961
Funny thing, I dont feel like a loser.


Then that's all that matters. Certainly, it matters a lot more than the opinion of a random internet fuckwit.


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Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
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RE: I have been informed what my problem is.... - 11/20/2013 8:01:37 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
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Yo!! J.
 
Me and thee don't always see eye-to-eye.
But there's no way you're a loser.

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RE: I have been informed what my problem is.... - 11/20/2013 8:25:33 AM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

Yo!! J.
 
Me and thee don't always see eye-to-eye.
But there's no way you're a loser.



This is true, and all I really needed to do was vent and rant a bit.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
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RE: I have been informed what my problem is.... - 11/20/2013 8:27:45 AM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
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From: Somewhere in TX
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She is the one with the problem...

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Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to jlf1961)
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RE: I have been informed what my problem is.... - 11/20/2013 9:44:43 AM   
MercTech


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I think I met her and she told me I was a loser because I had room mates. (snark, snark)

Heck, I prefer to have someone in my house to make sure it is taken care of when I'm working on the road for months. A paying roommate makes more sense than paying for a house sitter to me.

Stefan

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RE: I have been informed what my problem is.... - 11/20/2013 10:16:03 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline
I don't see you as a loser either. I think it's great that you can choose who to have as your family, and I know from experience that sometimes it's not the people related by blood that are our true family. the fact that you are willing to travel god know how far, and spend however much on 'just a dog' makes you a greater man than many in my eyes.

I think that may be all it boils down to is that you don't have enough to be conned out of by her.

foolish indeed lol

needles

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RE: I have been informed what my problem is.... - 11/20/2013 12:28:21 PM   
angelikaJ


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Joined: 6/22/2007
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I know you are just venting but it made me sad to know a stranger made you feel doubtful about the way you live your life.

Chosen family are no less important than the family you are born with.

You are kind to animals and small children and that says a lot about you.
You try your best to do right by your family.

So, a loser?
You don't need to justify anything to anyone.
(And I hope you really do know that.)

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RE: I have been informed what my problem is.... - 11/20/2013 1:39:00 PM   
Lisfor


Posts: 42
Joined: 11/9/2013
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It's pretty clear that by family she means her family, not yours.

Or perhaps what she isn't saying is her suspicion that Tami isn't your sister, but some estranged spouse you are trying to get away from. It's not a far-fetched scenario. Whether there is truth to that, though, speaks to how well she knows you in the end.

< Message edited by Lisfor -- 11/20/2013 1:42:06 PM >

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RE: I have been informed what my problem is.... - 11/20/2013 1:42:56 PM   
kiwisub12


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If I were you, I would make sure that my will reflects the reality of your life. Family of your heart before genes.

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RE: I have been informed what my problem is.... - 11/20/2013 1:44:55 PM   
Missdressed


Posts: 278
Joined: 5/28/2013
From: UK
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Get her a taxi. To the far side of fuck. One way. I'll get the tab.

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RE: I have been informed what my problem is.... - 11/20/2013 2:46:11 PM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lisfor

It's pretty clear that by family she means her family, not yours.

Or perhaps what she isn't saying is her suspicion that Tami isn't your sister, but some estranged spouse you are trying to get away from. It's not a far-fetched scenario. Whether there is truth to that, though, speaks to how well she knows you in the end.


Tami is not an ex, she is actually married to a decent guy.

I am paying a mortgage and dont plan to abandon the place, even when I get the house I am building as DIY project done.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to Lisfor)
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RE: I have been informed what my problem is.... - 11/20/2013 3:35:16 PM   
DomKen


Posts: 19457
Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toysinbabeland

rarely do members of the same family grow up under the same roof.

that IS your family.
You CHOSE them.

Even a girlfriend or wife or submissive is "chosen"....does that not make them like a family?

If you are a loser, it is not for choosing people to care for, or dogs to rescue.

Hand her a mirror J.


~toys

This.

The family of your choice shows what kind of man you are. Anyone in today's world unable to accept complicated families is the loser.

(in reply to Toysinbabeland)
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RE: I have been informed what my problem is.... - 11/20/2013 3:49:22 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
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Hi Jeff,

I hope you don't see this as a contradiction:

1. I am glad that woman with whom you were exchanging messages revealed her true colors.

2. I think you are giving out WAY too much information too early in the relationship. A lot of the stuff in your OP is not the business of someone with whom you are merely exchanging emails.

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RE: I have been informed what my problem is.... - 11/20/2013 4:03:24 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
You reached out to me just because you knew I was having a difficult time. You offered words of wisdom, a shoulder to cry on and friendship with no ulterior motive. When things are really tough (as they continue o be), knowing you are ther for me, even though it is long distance has been more helpful than I can express in words.

If that makes you a loser, I wish there were more losers in the world.

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