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RE: Transparency - 12/19/2013 7:07:55 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins
there is so very much wrong with that that I can't even start to explain why it's so wrong.

top tip to really ill people; don't be so self centred, and so damn selfish unless you know that is how your family want it. you get to die and that is that, but you leave behind a load of people forever asking themselves questions. don't project on to them what you think is best for them to deal with. try talking to them first, because that bullshit above is the fucking living pits to go through.
needles


Yup, I told him if I was his wife, I'd be like super duper upset when I find out and it's when shit is seriously going down and his really at critical stage or something. He insists he knows his wife and she won't be able to handle the news. Oh well, some people have good intentions but misguided ones.

(in reply to needlesandpins)
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RE: Transparency - 12/19/2013 7:34:38 PM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
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quote:

Don't you guys get like damn irritated being asked by everybody everyday, "How are you doing?"


Certainly not. I'm far more comfortable than that. I take it as the good wishes it's intended to be, and I'm grateful for a world of caring people.

(in reply to Greta75)
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RE: Transparency - 12/19/2013 8:38:10 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
quote:

Don't you guys get like damn irritated being asked by everybody everyday, "How are you doing?"

Certainly not. I'm far more comfortable than that. I take it as the good wishes it's intended to be, and I'm grateful for a world of caring people.

I've definitely tried sometimes, "I'm feeling terrible!" in respond lol, just on purpose to see what they gonna say, then, it's like, an awkward, "Oh, I am sorry to hear that!" Then they walk away.
World of Caring People? I don't think so! I think it's just used to replace "Hi" for some strange reason.

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Transparency - 12/20/2013 3:26:31 AM   
TheWillToThrive


Posts: 36
Joined: 3/8/2013
From: Texas
Status: offline
I don't expect very many to believe as I do but I hold these beliefs strongly.

Truth is always right. Lies are always wrong. Privacy is something that should only apply between strangers, not family. How can a true family do its job if there are walls put up between each person? Are you that fearful that your true self is so different it will be found disgraceful by your family? If you are not true to your family you are certainly not true to yourself. Maybe its time to stop placing such value on privacy and start placing it in being yourselves, whoever that unique and amazing creature is. When did we start hating ourselves so much we stopped being ourselves? I find the thought of people wearing their politically correct hat and their privacy suit truly repugnant. Enough is enough just be whoever you are and don't throw a fit when other people are different.

Transparency is only a fancy word for truth. Truth is binary it is or it isn't. If your not 100% transparent your not truthful. Your truth may hurt your partner but lies hurt you both. Dealing with the truth is always better than living a lie. If the truth kills a relationship then it served a noble purpose, maintaining the integrity of all of the involved parties.

I will never understand how people claim that lies make anything easier. Lies are complicated and take on a life of their own. The owner of the lie must continue the masquerade and this requires effort. The one who is lied to must continue living in ignorance which might be blissful but its FAKE. I'll take the red pill and live in the real world thank you very much. I might or might not be able to deal with a truth but I certainly will not deal with a lie.

The excuse of we are only human is a poor one. Humans are hard wired to believe everything they hear until proven otherwise. We are hard wired to perceive the world as truth. Weakness of an individual to except the burden of themselves or their failures are why lies exist.

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Transparency - 12/20/2013 3:56:13 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

How can a true family do its job if there are walls put up between each person?

Not everyone has true families.
If a female for example belongs to a culture with honour killing, if she had sex with her boyfriend, she better lie vehemently that she did not, or her dad will probably kill her.

I always lie to men that I don't live alone. I do infact live alone, but I feel safer telling them that my brother lives with me. Half truth anyway, my brother indeed has keys and access to my place any time he likes. But his not based in my home.



(in reply to TheWillToThrive)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Transparency - 12/20/2013 4:04:01 AM   
TheWillToThrive


Posts: 36
Joined: 3/8/2013
From: Texas
Status: offline
That is exactly why I used the phrase true family, not family. Your point is valid none the less. So if you have a family who would kill (literally) over a truth then I guess you get a pass.... For the majority that is not an issue.

I am not going to argue that you should or shouldn't lie to feel safer. That is your choice. Feeling safer and being safer are not the same thing.

< Message edited by TheWillToThrive -- 12/20/2013 4:37:50 AM >

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Transparency - 12/20/2013 6:02:16 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheWillToThrive

I don't expect very many to believe as I do but I hold these beliefs strongly.

Truth is always right. Lies are always wrong. Privacy is something that should only apply between strangers, not family. How can a true family do its job if there are walls put up between each person? Are you that fearful that your true self is so different it will be found disgraceful by your family? If you are not true to your family you are certainly not true to yourself. Maybe its time to stop placing such value on privacy and start placing it in being yourselves, whoever that unique and amazing creature is. When did we start hating ourselves so much we stopped being ourselves? I find the thought of people wearing their politically correct hat and their privacy suit truly repugnant. Enough is enough just be whoever you are and don't throw a fit when other people are different.

Transparency is only a fancy word for truth. Truth is binary it is or it isn't. If your not 100% transparent your not truthful. Your truth may hurt your partner but lies hurt you both. Dealing with the truth is always better than living a lie. If the truth kills a relationship then it served a noble purpose, maintaining the integrity of all of the involved parties.

I will never understand how people claim that lies make anything easier. Lies are complicated and take on a life of their own. The owner of the lie must continue the masquerade and this requires effort. The one who is lied to must continue living in ignorance which might be blissful but its FAKE. I'll take the red pill and live in the real world thank you very much. I might or might not be able to deal with a truth but I certainly will not deal with a lie.

The excuse of we are only human is a poor one. Humans are hard wired to believe everything they hear until proven otherwise. We are hard wired to perceive the world as truth. Weakness of an individual to except the burden of themselves or their failures are why lies exist.


I like a whole damn lot of what you've said there ^^^^^^^

needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to TheWillToThrive)
Profile   Post #: 67
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