quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Although, once you delete the men who are obviously asshats, and the women that are really men, I'm not sure how uneven it would be.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: KYsissy

I would say that yes, women defintely have a greater raw number of oppotunities than men. Now if you want to factor in quality opportunities, then i think the number is closer to 2 :1 rather than the 50:1raw number.

I like that expression 'raw number'. For me the bottom line is the question of 'which sex finds the search easiest?'. On this, there's a certain 'apples compared to oranges' factor involved, to be sure. The difference in numbers of men looking for women and vice versa is bound to create that.

But I'd still rather be a male looking for a female partner than the reverse. I've no doubt women write to me far less frequently than men will write to almost any female on CM's lists. But only a couple of times, in five years, have I received any message that's even been unfriendly, never mind deliberately insulting. (And on those occasions I've found it funny more than anything else.) I've always known why men get depressed but now, after learning a bit, I can see why women get depressed, too.

quote:

I think the basic axioms still hold. Women are the gatekeepers for sex; but men are the gatekeepers for relationships/marriage.

quote:

ORIGINAL: David92506

My assertion is that women have it easier in developing a relationship than men do using online dating sites.

This is my argument: A man may send out 50 emails to 50 different women and perhaps no one will respond. A women may get 50 emails within a week from 50 different men who want to meet her. A woman may argue that those 50 men just want sex and not a relationship. But the only way she will know that is if she meets all 50 men.

If you were a gambling man who would you put your money on who will be the first to develop a relationship: A man who doesn't meet anyone or a woman who will meet 50 different men?

I've chatted with women and they believe the odds are the same for both genders. But I just don't understand their viewpoint and they don't understand my viewpoint.

It seems to me that women have more opportunity than men. What is your response?

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
Basically, 21-yo women have much better options than 21-yo men, and 45-yo women have inferior options to 45-yo men.

Speaking on average, your personal mileage may vary. Also, it's different for married poly men, I'm sure.

All you're doing with that statement is telling Me that either I'm exceptional or you're dealing with the wrong type of 45-yr old women.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
Basically, 21-yo women have much better options than 21-yo men, and 45-yo women have inferior options to 45-yo men.

Speaking on average, your personal mileage may vary. Also, it's different for married poly men, I'm sure.

All you're doing with that statement is telling Me that either I'm exceptional or you're dealing with the wrong type of 45-yr old women.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

I think the basic axioms still hold. Women are the gatekeepers for sex; but men are the gatekeepers for relationships/marriage.

Hmm. I've never heard it put quite that way before. Thought-provoking. It's never occurred to me that I might be such a 'gatekeeper'.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
LOL, you aren't exactly in the middle of the bell curve! But I was more talking about number of real dates per month coming from an online dating site. And it isn't just because older women have fewer options (though that is true on average); they are also more picky, especially when it comes to things like not dating younger men -- while men strongly prefer writing to, and dating, younger women.

If you don't like the word "exceptional," how about... "abnormal?"

quote:

And it isn't just because older women have fewer options (though that is true on average); they are also more picky,

quote:

You can laugh if you want to, but this is sure-fire advice.

quote:

So how are you qualified to give advice to straight men and women regarding attracting each other?

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Since men on sites like this far outnumber women, the laws of supply and demand apply. It's a buyer's market and women get to pick and choose.

quote:

ORIGINAL: obedientnwilling

Ummmmmmm, no. It's easier for a woman to get cheap, easy sex from an asshole who doesn't care about her. I understand that women, particularly more stereotypically "feminine" women, tend to have a very hard time finding men who want a substantial relationship. I would advise these women to try to go for a more "earthy" appearance. This doesn't mean "less attractive," but men who are looking for substance are drawn to the physical appearance of substance and "solidity." That can actually be very attractive, but it's very unattractive, even terrifying, to men who are, at heart, equally terrified of commitment.

If you are a man looking for a secure mating prospect, rather than a cheap fuck or a neurotic bitch who would walk out within a week claiming you're a sociopath, then find a shy, cute, bookish girl at the local Barnes & Noble, and strike up an intellectual conversation. Tell her that you like wolves, and do some casual, not-overly-serious preaching about either climate change or the moral indecency of the human race, depending on your politics. If you can get her to warm up to you, your favorite ethnic food is Hungarian: that's some hearty stick-to-your-ribs food that warms the gut, so it's cool and exotic without being overtly pretentious (order the chicken paprikash). You prefer either cabernet sauvingnon or pinot grigio, and you make fun of people who worry about pairing them correctly; make sure that you would know how if asked, though. You might also want to try learning to feign being a little bit of a hypochondriac, so try learning some medical terminology: you're never "in a bad mood," but you're "feeling a little dysthymic." Don't overdo it, though, or she'll make up her mind that you either suffer from something congenital or might have something catching. If you do it correctly, she'll make up her mind that you're really just lonely and in need of some love.

You can laugh if you want to, but this is sure-fire advice.