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ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

a tip for you about the shy, cute, bookish girls; some of us know our stuff, we see that crap coming a mile off, we bite, and we can take the pain quietly too.

needles

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ORIGINAL: obedientnwilling
You are looking for a unicorn, ma'am, and someone who goes out looking for a unicorn always ends up with an ass. You are better off with a healthy draft horse.

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ORIGINAL: obedientnwilling

Ummmmmmm, no. It's easier for a woman to get cheap, easy sex from an asshole who doesn't care about her. I understand that women, particularly more stereotypically "feminine" women, tend to have a very hard time finding men who want a substantial relationship. I would advise these women to try to go for a more "earthy" appearance. This doesn't mean "less attractive," but men who are looking for substance are drawn to the physical appearance of substance and "solidity." That can actually be very attractive, but it's very unattractive, even terrifying, to men who are, at heart, equally terrified of commitment.

If you are a man looking for a secure mating prospect, rather than a cheap fuck or a neurotic bitch who would walk out within a week claiming you're a sociopath, then find a shy, cute, bookish girl at the local Barnes & Noble, and strike up an intellectual conversation. Tell her that you like wolves, and do some casual, not-overly-serious preaching about either climate change or the moral indecency of the human race, depending on your politics. If you can get her to warm up to you, your favorite ethnic food is Hungarian: that's some hearty stick-to-your-ribs food that warms the gut, so it's cool and exotic without being overtly pretentious (order the chicken paprikash). You prefer either cabernet sauvingnon or pinot grigio, and you make fun of people who worry about pairing them correctly; make sure that you would know how if asked, though. You might also want to try learning to feign being a little bit of a hypochondriac, so try learning some medical terminology: you're never "in a bad mood," but you're "feeling a little dysthymic." Don't overdo it, though, or she'll make up her mind that you either suffer from something congenital or might have something catching. If you do it correctly, she'll make up her mind that you're really just lonely and in need of some love.

You can laugh if you want to, but this is sure-fire advice.

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ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

my cynicism is well founded, and I can spot a fake a mile off.

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ORIGINAL: obedientnwilling

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So how are you qualified to give advice to straight men and women regarding attracting each other?

Being able to have open, platonic relationships with both.

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ORIGINAL: David92506

My assertion is that women have it easier in developing a relationship than men do using online dating sites.

This is my argument: A man may send out 50 emails to 50 different women and perhaps no one will respond. A women may get 50 emails within a week from 50 different men who want to meet her. A woman may argue that those 50 men just want sex and not a relationship. But the only way she will know that is if she meets all 50 men.

If you were a gambling man who would you put your money on who will be the first to develop a relationship: A man who doesn't meet anyone or a woman who will meet 50 different men?

I've chatted with women and they believe the odds are the same for both genders. But I just don't understand their viewpoint and they don't understand my viewpoint.

It seems to me that women have more opportunity than men. What is your response?

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ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

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ORIGINAL: obedientnwilling

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So how are you qualified to give advice to straight men and women regarding attracting each other?

Being able to have open, platonic relationships with both.

I started to answer you that as a gay man, you don't know what makes hetero people attracted to each other any more than I know what makes gay people attracted to each other.

Then I thought about it and realized that though I'm hetero, I don't know what makes hetero people attracted to each other.

Then I thought some more, and realized that I don't even know what makes ME attracted to another, at least in any sort of predictable way.

Perhaps attraction is ineffable, rendering any advice about it useless.

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ORIGINAL: obedientnwilling

I would cure myself of that cynicism if I were you.

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ORIGINAL: KYsissy


Men use shotguns, women are snipers.

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ORIGINAL: Raijin

I think for for a practice such as BDSM and everything between it that revolves around the general forms of Sex and the Vulnerabilities that go along with it to say that its harder for some and easier for others is in general a misconception in the purest form for either side male or female, add into the mix those that just want a quick lay or those that want more substantial meaning to their lives or less control or to be taught to be in someones world adds to the complexities of the ones in search of their true 1 to be. Its easy to forecast to another in chat or online what a person should be like in RL but there are no road maps I have found as everyone is an individual and as such all have their own outlooks into what they want and what they will do to obtain that end result from their partner, for me in order for me to answer your ? i must first say , you got to be true to who you are first before you can impose your needs upon your next partner, communication and more importantly listening to your partner's needs is the key i have found to finding those that are real and those that are not.... as for who has a better chance neither side really IMO

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ORIGINAL: obedientnwilling

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ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

my cynicism is well founded, and I can spot a fake a mile off.

In other words, you've been doing something wrong.

If you don't see through a man within five minutes' conversation, then there is probably nothing under the surface to actually see.

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ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

like I said, I can spot a fake a mile away.

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ORIGINAL: obedientnwilling
In spite of your macho claims to the contrary, you are a lot more predictable than you think you are, and a relatively intelligent man who really wanted to could get pretty much anything he wanted out of you, including cheap sex, if he knew a few basic hat-tricks.

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ORIGINAL: obedientnwilling

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ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

like I said, I can spot a fake a mile away.

I sort of doubt it. You are human, and you can be manipulated. The approach that I described would actually be quite effective applied to a fairly sizable fraction of women. That idea may be offensive to you, but it happens to be a fact.

In spite of your macho claims to the contrary, you are a lot more predictable than you think you are, and a relatively intelligent man who really wanted to could get pretty much anything he wanted out of you, including cheap sex, if he knew a few basic hat-tricks.

It's fascinating to me that you are reacting to this by doing a lot of huffing and puffing. So far, you have tried to puff yourself up by dropping your age as evidence of "superior life experience," and now you're most likely exaggerating your success with romantic relationships. Pardon me, but I have a feeling that you're either engaging in some degree of fabrication here or leaving out some important details.

It doesn't matter, though. The gist of it is that I'm pretty sure that the approach that I suggested would be reasonably effective applied to a fairly sizable fraction of women, and the fact that you find it disturbing that a woman could be so easily taken in does not negate this fact. The very fact that you have had such a strong reaction to it actually suggests to me that I have struck pretty close to the mark.

The only counter-argument that I have heard out of you pretty much amounts to screams of denial. One other person responded to me with the suggestion that such a specific approach might suffer from the simple hazard that not all women are alike, and admittedly the parameters of the approach are pretty narrow. I nevertheless think that the general concept on which it is based would be fairly widely applicable.