RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On Dating Sites Than Men?

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/4/2013 4:25:57 PM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: obedientnwilling
In spite of your macho claims to the contrary, you are a lot more predictable than you think you are, and a relatively intelligent man who really wanted to could get pretty much anything he wanted out of you, including cheap sex, if he knew a few basic hat-tricks.

That's one hell of a double-down. You're the Kahlil Gibran of internet PUA!

small minds

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/4/2013 4:32:06 PM

DsCouple23

Posts: 78
Joined: 11/10/2013
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Easily.

Think about it, at a bar, women who are even average looking will get hit on and bought a drink.

Women in America in general have much more power than men (ever seen a court case where the women got it worse than the man? same crime?)

On this site it it similar to the military. 85% men in the USAF, 15% women. Wow you wouldnt believe it, even the ugly one's thought they were 10's after a while lol.

Other posters have touched on the supply and demand concept, and that is true. Also the quality of interaction is piss poor by most men, hence causing women to curl up into a protective ball, and make it harder to get some sort of genuine response.

Also it's them having to weed through the BS.

I have met 5 people off of this site in RL, and i have been off and on here for 1.5 yrs.

I'm living proof that you can meet people off of here.

My formula goes like so:

75% of women on here are fake's and or won't talk to you and or are taken.

Ways to ID these kind of people.

1. Hit the "hide profile" button to any profile with a colored backround and a few jumbled sentences with one pic.
2. Any girl without a description is not a viable candidate, hit hide""
3. Anyone that has their YMSNGR on the page... most of the time you should hit Hide"

By then you basically have a good group of women that are 75% real.
Then you hit "hide profile" to anyone that doesn't fit your criteria, aka for me I'm not black so if a sub wanted black master's only, i would hit "hide profile"
I would also hit "hide" to anyone with the word "taken" , or "under consideration" , "owned" etc etc.

So, by this point it's much more feasable to find someone on here.

Also a lot of good profiles are one's with no pic, but a good written profile.

Cheers to all, and happy hunting.

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/4/2013 4:34:37 PM

RedMagic1

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I imagine you're pissed. But for me, this thread turned suddenly hilarious

"Men, do you want to get laid? Yes? Find an introverted, bookish girl, and leverage her tendency for codependency so she will want to fix you by giving you pity fucks."

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Post #: 63

RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/4/2013 4:39:49 PM

fucktoyprincess

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

I imagine you're pissed. But for me, this thread turned suddenly hilarious

"Men, do you want to get laid? Yes? Find an introverted, bookish girl, and leverage her tendency for codependency so she will want to fix you by giving you pity fucks."

The key phrase here is "tendency for codependency". I know men who search for that quality specifically in women. It may be hilarious - but it does also reflect a very sad reality of some relationships (and this is true in both the BDSM and the vanilla world).

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/4/2013 4:49:01 PM

Raijin

Posts: 13
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5

quote:

ORIGINAL: Raijin

I think for for a practice such as BDSM and everything between it that revolves around the general forms of Sex and the Vulnerabilities that go along with it to say that its harder for some and easier for others is in general a misconception in the purest form for either side male or female, add into the mix those that just want a quick lay or those that want more substantial meaning to their lives or less control or to be taught to be in someones world adds to the complexities of the ones in search of their true 1 to be. Its easy to forecast to another in chat or online what a person should be like in RL but there are no road maps I have found as everyone is an individual and as such all have their own outlooks into what they want and what they will do to obtain that end result from their partner, for me in order for me to answer your ? i must first say , you got to be true to who you are first before you can impose your needs upon your next partner, communication and more importantly listening to your partner's needs is the key i have found to finding those that are real and those that are not.... as for who has a better chance neither side really IMO

Welcome to the forums!

And thank you hlen5 i have enjoyed myself wilst being here so far

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/4/2013 5:01:36 PM

obedientnwilling

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quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

amazing that you have been here a couple of month and think you know me better than I do.

I most likely do because you don't seem to have a proclivity for either humility or introspection, ma'am. Most likely, I knew more about you than you do within the first five minutes of knowing you. In fact, your aggravating x-chromosome machismo, a la "oh, I am soooo unattainable!" is one thing that makes women unattractive to me. Hey, if you think you're too good for me, keep it. I like dick better, anyway. Even if I were attracted to women, I wouldn't be inclined to one who acted like that. That pretentious prima donna bullshit doesn't fly with me.

You can try typing a civilized response to me without trying to strut or insult my character if you want to. Otherwise, I'm done humoring you.

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/4/2013 5:06:22 PM

obedientnwilling

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

I think most of your ideas are interesting and thought-provoking. I certainly think we would agree that most people see themselves as unique, which I suspect is less true than we like to think. It seems to me that individual attractions are so inexplicable in many or most instances that I would doubt a sort of canned approach like you described would work. Attraction strikes me as haphazard and unpredictable. Maybe it's just inexplicable to me!

Well, I see where you're coming from. That's really the problem with saying anything on this subject. You just run into the hazard of no two people being quite the same. I guess that's one of the chief failings of modernism: sometimes, it presupposes that some magic formula can somehow resolve everything. Albeit such attempts are well-intentioned and occasionally useful, there is no replacement for dealing with the real world as it comes and trying to understand the individual.

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/4/2013 5:46:00 PM

LadyPact

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A somewhat general fast reply......

For all of the threads that we've ever had on the topic of "why don't people respond to emails," have you ever seen any of them written by a woman?

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/4/2013 7:23:27 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: obedientnwilling

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

a tip for you about the shy, cute, bookish girls; some of us know our stuff, we see that crap coming a mile off, we bite, and we can take the pain quietly too.

needles

I would cure myself of that cynicism if I were you. You may think that it protects you somehow, but it never really works. Try actually learning to genuinely like people. It heightens your empathy for them, and empathy actually ends up helping you avoid men who are misguided.

The truth is that a man who is truly genuine will also try to do something to try to charm you or win your affection, and you will see through most of them right away, particularly those guys who actually have souls in them somewhere. The very fact that you can see through surface appearances is evidence that he has something beneath the surface. The ones who are most likely to end up being users, though, are those suave snakes who can pull off an act and convince you of some illusion of a person who doesn't exist. You are looking for a unicorn, ma'am, and someone who goes out looking for a unicorn always ends up with an ass. You are better off with a healthy draft horse.

My brother could charm the pants off a nun. He's also knocked up his second bastard child within the past three months after leaving one woman alone to take care of a child who has cystic fibrosis. Never trust a man who seems to perfect.

all of this...utter bullshit.

I guess I should never, ever trust Master then.

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/4/2013 11:13:47 PM

myotherself

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I'm really confused here. I read the thread from beginning to end, and I don't understand what the negativity with Needles is all about.

She disagreed with your rather odd suggestion that a guy lies to make himself look attractive to a female, and then suggested it would be difficult for him to maintain that deception for any period of time. Instead, she said, wouldn't it be better to approach a woman in an honest manner, knowing that any potential relationship would be based on a solid foundation of truth rather than a very shaky foundation of lies.

I must admit, I agree with her. I have briefly dated some guys who lied about their interests in order to get a date. An example: one guy told me he was an avid reader of a particular genre of books that I had stated in my profile I was interested in. I'm also a maths geek, and he claimed to be one too. So far, so good.

We went on a few dates. I mentioned that a prominent author (which he had name dropped previously about being one of his favourites) was about to publish a new book in 'our favourite genre'. Blank look. He had no idea who I was talking about.

Then I mentioned I had been accepted on a part-time university course to study an aspect of mathematics I found fascinating. I was extremely excited. His response was to say 'why would you want to do that? Numbers are numbers...they're no big deal'.

So he'd lied about the books he liked and he lied about his love for numbers. That started me thinking about all the other things he'd told me. Had he lied about those? It made me question everything.

Don't get me wrong - he was a nice man and I enjoyed spending time with him. But the lies - they unsettled me. Within another month it was over.

Master made it very clear he wasn't an avid reader, and showed only a passing interest in maths. He didn't try to make himself into something he wasn't in order to gain my attention. In fact, his honesty about who he was and what he liked was the main thing that attracted me to him. He didn't have to exaggerate his attributes to make him stand out from the posturing crowd. That's why we're still together more than 3 years later.

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/5/2013 12:36:08 AM

eulero83

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FR

the OP used the word gambling so it inspired me in using a poker concept, it's not women have better odds but they have position advantage, it's the man supposed to talk first, IMHO this is sometimes in antiphase with online dynamics where you need less efforts to make an approach but you won't have an immediate response, so this gets frustrating for both sides and ladies' mail boxes get stopped up with too many messages and gentelmans feel ignored.

reply to myotherself:

quote:

His response was to say 'why would you want to do that? Numbers are numbers...they're no big deal'

so his ideas about mathemathics were almost limited to the concept of computation?

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/5/2013 1:28:24 AM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
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quote:

ORIGINAL: obedientnwilling

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

amazing that you have been here a couple of month and think you know me better than I do.

I most likely do because you don't seem to have a proclivity for either humility or introspection, ma'am. Most likely, I knew more about you than you do within the first five minutes of knowing you. In fact, your aggravating x-chromosome machismo, a la "oh, I am soooo unattainable!" is one thing that makes women unattractive to me. Hey, if you think you're too good for me, keep it. I like dick better, anyway. Even if I were attracted to women, I wouldn't be inclined to one who acted like that. That pretentious prima donna bullshit doesn't fly with me.

You can try typing a civilized response to me without trying to strut or insult my character if you want to. Otherwise, I'm done humoring you.

you don't know me at all. you've never met me, and so you have absolutely no idea about the person that I am. you're just pissed that you think you can throw a few words around, and people will think you look clever. you don't look clever, you look ignorant, and arrogant. you are not even reading what i'm writing in the tone in which i'm writing it. you'll find that the Bunny above has done though.

I don't have an "oh i'm soooo unattainable" thing going on. i'm just not attainable to someone who is going to lie to me to try and get in my knickers from the outset. I would be very happy with the work horse, and actually was for 16 years, rather than the unicorn for sure. however, you're using an equine based analogy to a horse woman. not all work horses are bred equally either. I, nor any other woman has to settle for just any man. I won't settle for someone lying to me from the outset.

I have been civilized with you throughout all of this, however, you have resorted to insults because you can't argue your case for why you think men should lie to women, and we are all stupid enough to accept that. you see not all women have this co-dependency need you think they have either. some of us are actually capable of living without a man in our life. I've been without a man before, and if thinks don't work out with my playmate I shall be without one again. I won't be in a rush to fall for the first three legged donkey trying to throw me a line. for a start it's about having some self respect, and dignity. it is about honouring the person that I am. having been in that 16y relationship I know what I will settle for, and what I won't. i'm happy enough in my own company, and my own self to not be desperate enough to fall for s guy trying to play the cheap shot. I've poked you with a stick to see if you would bite, and you did. there are a lot of women like me. it doesn't make us the bad people, it means that we are wise enough to know better.

your words hold no strength with me, and that really annoys you because you don't like women. you know how men are, you don't know how women are. all you know about women is that you don't want to fuck them.

needles

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/5/2013 1:40:36 AM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
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quote:

ORIGINAL: obedientnwilling

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

I think most of your ideas are interesting and thought-provoking. I certainly think we would agree that most people see themselves as unique, which I suspect is less true than we like to think. It seems to me that individual attractions are so inexplicable in many or most instances that I would doubt a sort of canned approach like you described would work. Attraction strikes me as haphazard and unpredictable. Maybe it's just inexplicable to me!

Well, I see where you're coming from. That's really the problem with saying anything on this subject. You just run into the hazard of no two people being quite the same. I guess that's one of the chief failings of modernism: sometimes, it presupposes that some magic formula can somehow resolve everything. Albeit such attempts are well-intentioned and occasionally useful, there is no replacement for dealing with the real world as it comes and trying to understand the individual.

you'd be wise to take your own words to heart there. stop trying to psychoanalyse people on the net that you've never actually met. you're actually quite bad at it. realise that some of us will tell you that your theories are hogwash with that individual, because we are all individuals. you don't know me any better than the complete stranger you next sit next to in real life. however, at least you will have the chance to speak to that person face-to-face. i'd love to be there when you tell them that they are soooooo wrong about themselves, and that you know them so much better than they do. good luck with that.

needles

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/5/2013 2:30:13 AM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

You want to get a sense of the common tenor of those 50 messages a week that women get? Spend some time reading them here:
http://www.collarchat.com/m_4267202/tm.htm

Or to put it another way, the odds are good but the goods are odd.

Those are hilarious! :)

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/5/2013 6:08:22 AM

Zonie63

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quote:

ORIGINAL: David92506

My assertion is that women have it easier in developing a relationship than men do using online dating sites.

This is my argument: A man may send out 50 emails to 50 different women and perhaps no one will respond. A women may get 50 emails within a week from 50 different men who want to meet her. A woman may argue that those 50 men just want sex and not a relationship. But the only way she will know that is if she meets all 50 men.

If you were a gambling man who would you put your money on who will be the first to develop a relationship: A man who doesn't meet anyone or a woman who will meet 50 different men?

I've chatted with women and they believe the odds are the same for both genders. But I just don't understand their viewpoint and they don't understand my viewpoint.

It seems to me that women have more opportunity than men. What is your response?

I've seen this topic come up numerous times in this forum, and it does seem true that men tend to outnumber women on many dating sites. A few months back, I did some checking on Alexa (just to satisfy my own curiosity) and found that the ratios are somewhat reversed when it comes to religious dating sites.

This may be a bit of the "grass is greener" phenomenon at work, since to us men, it seems as if women have an easier time getting dates and finding prospective relationship partners than men do. They have more opportunity than men, overall. That may be because men are more aggressive and often compelled to be the pursuers and tend to approach women, whereas women are oftentimes reluctant to approach men. So, it's not just that men outnumber women, men will also be more inclined to send out e-mails and initiate contact. They might also create multiple profiles/personalities and work on all kinds of strategies and tactics to achieve their objective. At least, some men do that, not all. Still, there's a whole cottage industry on "how to pick up women," since some men claim it's so easy, while others find it to be the most difficult thing on Earth.

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/5/2013 6:13:23 AM

PeonForHer

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quote:

Still, there's a whole cottage industry on "how to pick up women," since some men claim it's so easy, while others find it to be the most difficult thing on Earth.

I've read some of that stuff. (What man hasn't?) The 'most successful techniques' seem to depend on one becoming a psychopath.

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/5/2013 8:55:13 AM

VideoAdminChi

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This thread is locked for review.

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/5/2013 9:30:03 AM

VideoAdminChi

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Let's move on past the mud slinging. Further posts along those lines will be removed and letters sent.

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RE: Don't You Believe Women Have More Opportunities On ... - 12/5/2013 11:48:53 AM

Zonie63

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

Still, there's a whole cottage industry on "how to pick up women," since some men claim it's so easy, while others find it to be the most difficult thing on Earth.

I've read some of that stuff. (What man hasn't?) The 'most successful techniques' seem to depend on one becoming a psychopath.

Yeah, I know. Some of it is pretty weird, but these guys claim that it works. Kind of reminds me of the character of Mike Damone from Fast Times at Ridgemont High, where he's trying to show his shy, geeky friend on how to get dates. The so-called "pick-up artist" is a glorified figure in popular culture, one who is masterful and quite popular with the ladies (aka "ladies' man"). It can be seen in any James Bond movie, or in popular TV shows like M*A*S*H (Hawkeye Pierce) or Cheers (Sam Malone). Every teenage movie has something about a guy trying all kinds of strategies, tricks, and tactics to win the girl of his dreams (even if he has to resort to some kind of stalking behavior, which I always thought was a bit weird and creepy in some movies).

So, I think that, as far as the dating scene goes and sites like this, I think people have been taught and conditioned that this is how it's supposed to be. I also know people who tend to make their dating behavioral choices based on what they perceive society's rules to be and/or on what their family or friends might think. As strange as it may sound, I don't think that men embrace the "pick-up artist" persona or act like horny jerks because biology made them that way. On the contrary, it's because society conditioned them that way; men will act as they are taught to act, not because women necessarily respond positively (although many do), but because men are also seeking an elevated status among their male peers. It's the locker room mentality at work; the final score is all that matters, winning is everything, and nobody remembers who came in second place. Men tend to approach business, politics, and war in much the same way. (George Carlin had some interesting thoughts on that subject, noting that in war, the bullets, bombs, and missiles are all shaped like dicks, in order to satisfy the unconscious male need to project the penis into others' affairs. "It's called fucking with people!" as Carlin eloquently put it.)

I don't know if it's the same with women or not. I suspect that they have to deal with their own forms of peer pressure, although maybe not the same kind.

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