Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: to cam or not to cam...


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: to cam or not to cam... Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: to cam or not to cam... - 12/16/2013 1:09:44 PM   
iaminigo


Posts: 77
Joined: 2/3/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheWillToThrive

I find this topic interesting and a bit aggravating. I have used a webcam once to talk with family that lives across country. It was great being able to see who I was speaking with and see how my nieces and nephews had grown. Lesson one, if you use a webcam don't use a cheap one.

What I find interesting is how strongly people love it or hate it. If I was asked to prove identity on a cam I would have no issue with it. If the person on the other end was an asshat I would be thankful I found out before devoting more time and resources into them. If you get naked and someone records it, well you were the idiot in that case weren't you? Perhaps you shouldn't get naked with strangers?

I personally don't see the appeal to cybering but that is another topic all together. If you don't want to use a webcam don't. IMO a webcam is a tool. What harm is there in flipping on the cam to say "Hi, I am really me and those pictures aren't of my neighbor"? If you are asked to get naked you just ruled out a moron in a few minutes, that seems efficient to me. If he records you turning off your cam after he ask you to show him your fun parts what is the harm? He just made a rejection film of himself. What exactly do you risk by verifying? Wouldn't meeting that asshat in real life be more dangerous than finding out before hand?

I really don't understand the thought process here, just as I don't understand the thought process of people listing what stupid things not to send them a message about. If you tell a fake not to message you asking for nudes the idiot is going to still be an idiot, just later on after you have wasted time talking to them. I see it everywhere on this site, don't message me this, don't ask for nude pics, don't don't don't... What is the point? Do sane real people need to be told not to do these things? NO. You are basically saying OK fakes message me just like this so I don't know your a creep!

Seriously? I love it when I get a message from a obvious fake. I hit block and its done, I have narrowed down the pool. It is a lot less time consuming than getting message after message of what sounds sane and rational and them BOOM you've wasted time and effort for a fake, scammer, or weirdo.

To each their own, even though this thought process puzzles me.


Exactly. I'm surprised at the vehemence in some of the opinions. Cams don't have to supplant meetings. They can be used to enhance the meeting process. Or not. Right?

(in reply to TheWillToThrive)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: to cam or not to cam... - 12/16/2013 2:44:26 PM   
TheWillToThrive


Posts: 36
Joined: 3/8/2013
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

Exactly. I'm surprised at the vehemence in some of the opinions. Cams don't have to supplant meetings. They can be used to enhance the meeting process. Or not. Right?


Agreed.

(in reply to iaminigo)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: to cam or not to cam... - 12/16/2013 3:05:57 PM   
punisher440


Posts: 4122
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline 		FR
Since I live in a very rural area and the likelihood of me ever meeting anyone kink friendly locally is pretty slim. So that forces me to widen my search and look for others outside my area. I try to always get the one I'm interested in meeting to get on cam just to verify they are who they say they are. I'm not expecting cyber or nudity either. Like some on here, I've dealt with ones using pics 10 years [or older] ,several pounds lighter and even pics of other people. Now that might not be a problem for some, but for me the nearest big city is well over an hour away and I much rather not drive that far just to find out I've been lied to. Is no cam a deal killer? No...but it does go a long way in making me feel like I'm not wasting my time.

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1H-Y7MAASkg&feature=related

(in reply to TheWillToThrive)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: to cam or not to cam... - 12/23/2013 3:34:13 PM   
DsCouple23


Posts: 78
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline 		Cam verification is awesome, and builds confidence in the affair.

Think of this. If you met someone in the real world, you already know she is she.

On here, anyone can be anyone. I love cam verification. My favorite is a few phone conversations, then cam verification. Usually if i feel good about the person, within a few weeks of talking we cam or talk on the phone. If that doesn't happen, they are either a man, or are not interested. Super simple situation.

People in my age group all cam (under 30 all cam). Very rarely will someone not have a smartphone either.

Big red flags are - no cam/no phone/ can't take a picture to your specifications/voice modulator all that other good stuff. I've been hit by all of those, as probably most guys have on here as well.

And i don't need to cam to necessarily sit there all day and facechat, although it is nice. But, quite frankly i need a few minutes of it to verify they are real. Gives both parties a bode of confidence moving forward. (even if they are local i do this, to prevent waste of gas and time).

J

(in reply to punisher440)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: to cam or not to cam... - 12/26/2013 10:53:26 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		~FR~

I will not cam. Ever.

I will talk to someone online for a couple of weeks, and on the phone. I might send a pic - I might not. But mostly I want to meet them. I don't care what they look like on cam or in a pic - it's not about the looks. It's about the feeling you get when you meet them in the flesh. So for me, cams are not relevant, since I am happy to meet sooner rather than later.

Having said that, I did use a cam in my early days of online bdsm dating. One or two guys were gentlemen and conversation was light and polite and totally vanilla. One or two started to ask sexual/fetish questions and a few more asked for 'proper verification' that I was really a female. Cam sessions are not always one-time affairs. They can be recorded and disseminated, so I made damn sure there's nothing out there where I'm discussing kink or doing anything sexual. My employment contract has a 'morality clause' - that kind of video would end my job and, most likely, my career. So I disconnected the cam and threw it in the trash.

Fortunately I made sure I only dated local and I met people sooner rather than later. It did take me several years to find the right man for me, but then again I have very high standards and preferred to wait for the right man rather than settle for second-best.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to DsCouple23)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: to cam or not to cam... - 1/6/2014 11:36:44 PM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline 		Oh if only I were in Denver so many kinksters up there!

Yah I wouldn't waste weeks waiting to find out if someone is real. I'd rather lose twenty minutes being stood up on a no show than weeks writing to a guy from the Netherlands before I find out it's not the runway model I thought she was.

< Message edited by Endivius -- 1/6/2014 11:39:44 PM >

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: to cam or not to cam... - 1/7/2014 7:53:19 AM   
MercTech


Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		I find it hilarious how some are so phobic about being seen on a camera.
Now if doing a video call with someone you don't know well; remember that anything put over the net can be on the net forever.

(in reply to Endivius)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: to cam or not to cam... - 1/9/2014 9:46:56 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		So how's that different from a recorded cam session where you talk about your kinks? And then when you turn him down, he spreads it on every site he can find.

We did this bizarre thing called meeting for coffee. We told each other what color shirts we would be wearing. And then we strolled through a K Mart so I could buy my elderly father a new cordless phone.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to MercTech)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: to cam or not to cam... - 1/9/2014 12:07:40 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I find it hilarious how some are so phobic about being seen on a camera.


Some people have damn good reasons, professional, family, legal and otherwise.


_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: to cam or not to cam... - 1/12/2014 3:20:38 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		More importantly, you guys have heard multiple women say we won't ever do this. Either deal with it or continue to whine. But your whining won't make us change our decisions.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: to cam or not to cam... - 1/12/2014 3:55:19 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		Personally, I hate the whole idea of "cam" conversations... One-hey, if I have to put on make-up and find something flattering to wear...I am going out and you might as well come meet the real me... Two-I am hyper by nature so the few times I have cammed (with people I know or relatives not close by) the other person gets irritated with the fact I am shooting in and out of the camera line...trying to hear me or hearing me screaming from another room... Plus, people get more "insulted" when you multi-task..almost the way they would did you were face to face. They expect your full attention and think it is rude that you are talking and reading a book or watching TV or cooking dinner or folding laundry... The whole camming thing must have been started by people with nothing to do all day except sit in one spot!!

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: to cam or not to cam... - 1/13/2014 4:18:21 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss
Plus, people get more "insulted" when you multi-task..almost the way they would did you were face to face. They expect your full attention and think it is rude that you are talking and reading a book or watching TV or cooking dinner or folding laundry... The whole camming thing must have been started by people with nothing to do all day except sit in one spot!!


Heck yeah I get insulted if someone is reading a book or watching t.v. while we are talking... because their MIND is not with me. Folding laundry, knitting, some cleaning - no problem. That's just busy work and doesn't require a lot of thought. If it is something more complicated - like a complicated recipe or choosing clothes or something like that - I'll do it *with* the person I'm talking to. Hold up and outfit and ask advice, show what I'm cooking, get a few pointers, etc. That's a fun way to interact. My friends and famiy do that with me pretty frequently. That's how we get to do stuff together from half way around the world!

Anything that requires a change in focus had better be a shared something unless we just need to be available to each other. I will sometimes work on a project with skype up while one of my friends works on her project and we just are keeping each other accountable. That is something we've agreed to though.

If I'm talking to you, and you're reading a book or watching t.v., I'm not even with you in your head. Thanks, no thanks.



_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: to cam or not to cam... - 1/13/2014 5:56:27 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Master gets upset when I'm on my iphone or doing something else that's no important when we are together, even if he's online or watching a baseball game. My attention should be on him, not my phone or magazine or whatever.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: to cam or not to cam... - 1/13/2014 6:57:16 PM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		Yer fake.

And I don't have a webcam.

_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: to cam or not to cam... - 1/14/2014 12:10:38 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Master gets upset when I'm on my iphone or doing something else that's no important when we are together, even if he's online or watching a baseball game. My attention should be on him, not my phone or magazine or whatever.


So, when the game is over, does he take you to the E.R. so they can remove the needles you've shoved in your eyes out of boredom?

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: to cam or not to cam... - 1/14/2014 5:51:54 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Master gets upset when I'm on my iphone or doing something else that's no important when we are together, even if he's online or watching a baseball game. My attention should be on him, not my phone or magazine or whatever.



It really sucks to be a slave sometimes. That double standard where he gets to watch something boring and unimportant like baseball and you can do the same as him.

Baseball uh? .... I thought there was masocistic tendencies there.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: to cam or not to cam... - 1/14/2014 7:47:01 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Master gets upset when I'm on my iphone or doing something else that's no important when we are together, even if he's online or watching a baseball game. My attention should be on him, not my phone or magazine or whatever.


So, when the game is over, does he take you to the E.R. so they can remove the needles you've shoved in your eyes out of boredom?


Nah. He usually has to drag me to bed after falling asleep on him.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: to cam or not to cam... - 1/14/2014 7:49:04 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Master gets upset when I'm on my iphone or doing something else that's no important when we are together, even if he's online or watching a baseball game. My attention should be on him, not my phone or magazine or whatever.



It really sucks to be a slave sometimes.


Yes it does! <hopes a certain someone is reading this and understands my need for sympathy >


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: to cam or not to cam... - 1/14/2014 9:50:12 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Good Lord, the Mister watches movies that just kill me sometimes. If I fell asleep my attention wouldn't be on him either! He's totally fine if I'm not into a show he's watching and I'm here on my iPad. Like now. As long as I'm in the same room as him, and jump to anything he wants.

As for camming, I've cam chatted in the past. Probably wouldn't bother again. I don't like IM'ing for the reason TieMe says. I'm usually not sitting still for very long and it makes me feel glued to the computer. Heck I don't even like talking on the phone much these days, but when I do, you can bet I'm also cleaning, folding, or tending to something. (Not watching tv though - I rarely do that anyway).

The Mister and I did not cam or IM before we met. Email and phone worked fine for us.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 59
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: to cam or not to cam... Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078