RE: What happened to my post?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: What happened to my post?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: What happened to my post?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: What happened to my post? - 12/12/2013 3:35:35 PM

Tantalust

Posts: 32
Joined: 12/3/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

It may be natural for you to respond with anger, but is that helping you connect with others or does it make things worse?

It's not anger, it's confusion borne where because of low male androgen production visualise a see saw where it tips one way and then the other depending on the balance of hormones throughout the day, week, month year etc, where with males androgen production decreases with age, so it get's worse. How that affects me well it was supposed I was bipolar at one stage but it's not that at all as it does not manifest itself as high and low mood, it manifests as what I don't feel right being me, love and hate where I go through both loving and hating the male in me, where when the male hate surfaces the desire is to pursue transgender, where when it's not I want to be more male.

You see what is most common with XXY is a condition called Klinefelter Syndrome that necessitates HRT, where rarely as an XXY I don't have that condition- I have discovered four others worldwide so far through XXY places and so there is no research on non KS XXY so nobody knows what to do where all the medics tell me is to pursue transgender where I am not entirely sure that is what I want.

But meeting others, given the see saw, one minute males attract then the next females attract, yeah I am bisexual and passive but it doesn't help in meeting people at all, where yeah I would love to forget about BDSM because in common with another's signature on here- if you suck at meeting people in vanilla existence forget about the kinky existence, I'd love to given, but as many can attest BDSM is not an interest one can put down, it is how many people are wired.

As it is I consider myself temporarily asexual, well I must be as I have not sex since my ex wife eight and a half years ago, where before meeting her I was the same as I am now where I lost the big V to her at age 26. It's not that I am not interested in sex, I am, but my problem is, I am unable to communicate my interests to an other whom I may be interested in and of course the see saw I experience.

I don't even know why I am back here.

quote:

If your anger is making you more isolated and more angry, then I would strongly suggest you learn new ways of coping. Because doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different response is a good definition of insanity.

Believe me I am trying where it is getting exhausting and despite their apparent impotence I am pushing the medical services to start thinking instead of ignoring as really I have had enough of this, it's getting worse and nobody is listening. They are not listening because they believe this is not life threatening and hey it only affects one in five hundred males where my situation is even scarcer than that.

< Message edited by Tantalust -- 12/12/2013 3:41:52 PM >

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: What happened to my post? - 12/12/2013 3:39:13 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantalust

I posted here under the title' Males are Shit' and it's not here, any ideas?

I removed it.

(in reply to Tantalust)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: What happened to my post? - 12/12/2013 3:47:28 PM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantalust

I have since found out for I have received a gold message and as to newbie, I was last on here with some six thousand odd posts under a different name. The lesson is never judge a book by it's cover.

And edited to add those who have replied, I have conversed with some on here before, where we enjoyed a mutual understanding where I hope new names and post counts do not diminish respect given?

I find it hard to respect an ass.

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to Tantalust)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: What happened to my post? - 12/12/2013 4:16:42 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantalust

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

obviously you didn't learn from the last time you were here then. Six thousand posts and you didn't know what happened to your post??? Seriously?

I have changed and so has Collarme, where it is obvious if I wish to remain here I must understand how Collarme has changed and comply with it's new policy.

Where those that have always been here might not be aware of how it has changed?

This sounds suspiciously like "Polyamorous" or at least his deaf mute slave girl fleeing the aliens in Kentucky.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to Tantalust)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: What happened to my post? - 12/12/2013 5:12:12 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantalust

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

It may be natural for you to respond with anger, but is that helping you connect with others or does it make things worse?

It's not anger, it's confusion borne where because of low male androgen production visualise a see saw where it tips one way and then the other depending on the balance of hormones throughout the day, week, month year etc, where with males androgen production decreases with age, so it get's worse. How that affects me well it was supposed I was bipolar at one stage but it's not that at all as it does not manifest itself as high and low mood, it manifests as what I don't feel right being me, love and hate where I go through both loving and hating the male in me, where when the male hate surfaces the desire is to pursue transgender, where when it's not I want to be more male.

You see what is most common with XXY is a condition called Klinefelter Syndrome that necessitates HRT, where rarely as an XXY I don't have that condition- I have discovered four others worldwide so far through XXY places and so there is no research on non KS XXY so nobody knows what to do where all the medics tell me is to pursue transgender where I am not entirely sure that is what I want.

But meeting others, given the see saw, one minute males attract then the next females attract, yeah I am bisexual and passive but it doesn't help in meeting people at all, where yeah I would love to forget about BDSM because in common with another's signature on here- if you suck at meeting people in vanilla existence forget about the kinky existence, I'd love to given, but as many can attest BDSM is not an interest one can put down, it is how many people are wired.

As it is I consider myself temporarily asexual, well I must be as I have not sex since my ex wife eight and a half years ago, where before meeting her I was the same as I am now where I lost the big V to her at age 26. It's not that I am not interested in sex, I am, but my problem is, I am unable to communicate my interests to an other whom I may be interested in and of course the see saw I experience.

I don't even know why I am back here.

quote:

If your anger is making you more isolated and more angry, then I would strongly suggest you learn new ways of coping. Because doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different response is a good definition of insanity.

Believe me I am trying where it is getting exhausting and despite their apparent impotence I am pushing the medical services to start thinking instead of ignoring as really I have had enough of this, it's getting worse and nobody is listening. They are not listening because they believe this is not life threatening and hey it only affects one in five hundred males where my situation is even scarcer than that.

After I read this, I get the feeling is that you think of yourself as neither male nor female, but as some other gender, which you have not defined yet. Perhaps some variant of asexuality?

Edited to add: I just checked your old profile. You DO identify as asexual there, and seem more comfortable in your skin there than you do in this thread.

< Message edited by DarkSteven -- 12/12/2013 5:14:27 PM >

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Tantalust)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: What happened to my post? - 12/12/2013 5:13:34 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Fast reply......

Speaking of which, OP, which pronouns do you prefer?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: What happened to my post? - 12/12/2013 7:18:19 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

You're missing my point.
You want someone to fix the problem for you.

But that's out of your hands. It probably won't be treatable in your lifetime.

What is in your hands is your response to things. You can spend the next ten years being angry and bitter and then what? Will you look back at that time and think you spent them profitably? Or you could address your emotions with a good therapist and become happy.

Your choice.

Tonight's dinner conversation was about how I decided when my oldest was a young teen to put her on a medication that had a pediatric risk of death for 1 in 50. The alternative to that was a guarantee that she would be dead before 20. She has a very rare and atypical form of bipolar. You've found a few other people with your condition worldwide. She's never found anyone else with her diagnosis.

Instead of bewailing it, she addresses what she can and finds ways to be happy. And that's what I'm not seeing you doing. I don't see you take any responsibility to become someone who can have friends, who can have a happy and productive life.

Foster dogs. Volunteer at a Boys & Girls Club. Foster a child with gender dysmorphia whose parents have given up on them.
Fix your life in whatever ways you can.

Yes, fate dealt you a bad hand. But the onus is on you to play it as well as possible.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Tantalust)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: What happened to my post? - 12/12/2013 9:36:42 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

If you can't communicate clearly then it's time to seek out a counselor.

And the medical community HAS tried to help you but you refused the options they gave you. What exactly else do you expect them to do?

It's therapy time dude.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 48

RE: What happened to my post? - 12/13/2013 6:17:46 AM

Tantalust

Posts: 32
Joined: 12/3/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

If you can't communicate clearly then it's time to seek out a counselor.

And the medical community HAS tried to help you but you refused the options they gave you. What exactly else do you expect them to do?

It's therapy time dude.

I keep getting referred for counselling, I was in for psycho sexual counselling and gender at one stage but it all got cancelled due to NHS cut backs and in the UK there is no help for late diagnosed adult ASD, bearing in mind we pay for our health care through taxation, therefore as paying we should get it and not be subject to being promised action and then having that taken away.

But there is something else with the UK regards healthcare in that males are allocated the least spending, where it even was a past health minister explained this as women are more important than men through the fact women can bring up children on their own, men aren't needed. But it is men that provide the majority spending for the NHS through more men than women working.

I refused SSRI because there is research to say they act differently with us, where my last experience of them, what I reported to my doctor he told me that doesn't happen, there is no reference to what you report in the drug notes, so I was ignored until I took myself off them because of what they were doing which included several very close calls with the cliff behind my house, where I have not been since, where it does say in the drug notes they can cause self destructive tendencies and I was scared of where I kept going.

Where if there is any anger, it is directed at the uncaring profession for consistently failing me over the last 22 years, when I was first diagnosed as infertile through trying to discover amongst other things why I had sod all interest in being male, why my goolies didn't grow with puberty and why I could not build upper body strength and then again seven years later with a failing marriage, because of the umm sized goolies I suspected androgen deficiency and I wasn't wrong for endocrine tests revealed but the NHS did nothing except tell me to try harder and for my then wife to accept my limitations. Where with what I know now I suspect way back 22 years ago the uncaring service at least suspected I was what I am, but they did nothing.

Everything I have discovered is through my own research aside from the ASD, where it was a university that discovered that along with a suggested IQ of 139, which is little use, but I researched X linked theories on autism to find a rare condition which fitted my other stuff and it was through a chest lump scare ( which turned out to be an infected milk duct), I requested a karyotype test to find what I did and then, it was silence - no further action, where their own guidelines describe immediate action on discovery of, where it was suggested through researching myself and discovering a rare condition I had unwittingly stepped on big toes.

Body issues way back, infertility, failed marriage, communicational difficulties oh yeah and attempted murder and they seem to think everything is hunky dory one can live happily ever after, as it is either that or they really don't care.

Now maybe it is I have an unrealistic belief in the medical profession, I don't know, but where they call themselves the caring profession, I would at least expect them to care, where my continuing experience is they appear not to.

Counseling I need, I know that, but it's not happening.

Edited to add, over the next day or so, I will reword my original post that got lifted and see if what I feel is consistent with what others- other males specifically think, where it could be what I feel after this thread, what I feel could be only applicable to my own experience perhaps because of communicational difficulties or even the IS status of myself where it is our brains are different to both male and female and so it could be others may not relate.

< Message edited by Tantalust -- 12/13/2013 6:33:04 AM >

(in reply to littlewonder)

Profile

Post #: 49

RE: What happened to my post? - 12/13/2013 7:03:26 AM

tiggerspoohbear

Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline

I understand your frustration with the medical system. Really, I do. I live in Canada where health care is assumed to be free, and it is, to a certain extent. But getting help for my mental health issues has been an uphill battle. I've suffered from depression since the age of 6. I turn 51 next month. They didn't even diagnose it back then.

I've had to fight with the medical system, hospitals, doctors, ad nauseum for years to get the help I needed and wanted. Even when I was feeling at my worst I still had to try, for myself. It was the toughest challenge I faced. trying to deal with a run around situation when you can't even get out of bed, no sleep, too much sleep, not eating, panic attacks, you name it.

Did I get angry? Yes. Did it fuel me? Oh hell yeah! And I guess it wasn't so much anger that fueled me, it was desperation to finally get someone help me get under control. Learn how to deal with the little things that my brain was so good at turning into mountains.

I'm not the same person I used to be. But I am better than I was while in the throes of that deep dark hole. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it's because I've chosen the path to take. I did what I could..

In the end, YOU have to take responsibility for yourself. No one else can do that. You can't keep laying the blame at everyone else's feet, ultimately it's your life to live. Are you going to be happy or miserable? Your choice.

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".

(in reply to Tantalust)

Profile

Post #: 50

RE: What happened to my post? - 12/13/2013 7:26:01 AM

freedomdwarf1

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantalust
I keep getting referred for counselling, I was in for psycho sexual counselling and gender at one stage but it all got cancelled due to NHS cut backs and in the UK there is no help for late diagnosed adult ASD, bearing in mind we pay for our health care through taxation, therefore as paying we should get it and not be subject to being promised action and then having that taken away.

Go and look for another someone for your counselling.
There are others out there that can and do deal with your condition - maybe just not in your immediate area..... you need to go looking or get a referal from your doctor.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantalust
But there is something else with the UK regards healthcare in that males are allocated the least spending, where it even was a past health minister explained this as women are more important than men through the fact women can bring up children on their own, men aren't needed. But it is men that provide the majority spending for the NHS through more men than women working.

That's complete bollox!! The NHS budget is not gender biased in any way.
Each area has a specific budget and they decide how to spend it.
I strongly suspect the chip on your shoulder is making you very biased in your PoV.
Not all services are available in all areas.
If your area specifically doesn't cater for your condition, your doctor can refer you to a specialist somewhere else in the country that does.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantalust
Where if there is any anger, it is directed at the uncaring profession for consistently failing me over the last 22 years, <snip>

I'm guessing that because of your strong prejudice, you failed to follow up on many things that were offered or you just didn't persue it enough.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantalust
Everything I have discovered is through my own research aside from the ASD, where it was a university that discovered that along with a suggested IQ of 139, which is little use, but I researched X linked theories on autism to find a rare condition which fitted my other stuff and it was through a chest lump scare ( which turned out to be an infected milk duct), I requested a karyotype test to find what I did and then, it was silence - no further action, where their own guidelines describe immediate action on discovery of, where it was suggested through researching myself and discovering a rare condition I had unwittingly stepped on big toes.

Nope, you didn't step on any toes. And that was your problem.
You just gave up at pretty much the first hurdle and called it quits, then complained that nobody followed you.
Sometimes, if you have a rare condition, you have to chase it hard and with the right people until you get a result. From what I've read so far...you didn't do that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantalust
Now maybe it is I have an unrealistic belief in the medical profession, I don't know, but where they call themselves the caring profession, I would at least expect them to care, where my continuing experience is they appear not to.

They are not mind-readers nor are they uber-specialists in your particular problem.
It is not up to them to go exploring into every nook and cranny to find your problem either.
They didn't let you down - you did.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantalust
Counseling I need, I know that, but it's not happening.

And just like every other aspect of the NHS, if they don't have a specific counsellor for your condition locally, get your doctor to refer you. Don't just give up coz you can't find one in the Yellow Pages!

(in reply to Tantalust)

Profile

Post #: 51

RE: What happened to my post? - 12/13/2013 4:25:40 PM

Tantalust

Posts: 32
Joined: 12/3/2012
Status: offline

Erm I think I mentioned I did get referrals, but I think I also mentioned they got cancelled where currently everyone is shrugging shoulders.

And the allocation of healthcare between the sexes, search the question on the internet and find what you may, where you might even find a department of health report trying to explain why, where it makes interesting reading.

And your guessing, is purely that where your guesses are wrong.

But I can see you have a negative mindset where this thread is concerned where I wonder if you can't help, why are you bothering commenting, do you get your jollies from being this way, or is it you are employed by the NHS and so fed up with hearing negativity about it?

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

Profile

Post #: 52