Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Only Positive?!


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Only Positive?! Page: <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/15/2013 3:15:58 PM   
LittleGirlHeart


Posts: 1427
Joined: 4/4/2013
Status: offline 		They do. you just cant name names and identifying stuff, and they don't feel the need to start a board specifically for it. People talk about bad experiences here all the time, it's just usually in more of a odd things you've had happen dating, or odd things you've had happen while meeting people from cm deal. jist go to of topics start a new thread and , if you so desire, talk about it.
quote:

ORIGINAL: AmandaPeace

I appreciate reading these experiences, I really do. And I'm also glad that you all had some positive experience meeting someone from CM.

I've never met someone here and off-hand I don't really plan to.

But don't you think it's just a little crazy that you're *only* allowed to post if you had a good experience?

That's some kind of crazy product review feature, right?

"Rate our product 1-10 and we'll publish your review on our website... as long as it's a 10"

That's not very helpful.

I get that it would be awkward if people were attacking others by name on here. That's no fun. But even allowing members to talk about bad experiences in the abstract would be a whole lot more responsible than just pretending that no one has bad experiences in this lifestyle or particularly meeting someone online.

That makes me think that there might be ten terrible stories for every good one.



< Message edited by LittleGirlHeart -- 12/15/2013 3:34:24 PM >

_____________________________


We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing

(in reply to AmandaPeace)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/15/2013 3:39:01 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: AmandaPeace

Again, I didn't come here to talk about a particular case.

Just to suggest an exceedingly humble addition to the site that might help people make better decisions.

And that resulted in a flood of attacks and defensiveness that seems to have kind've exploded here.

I'm not wanting to attack this site or this community. I'm just humbly suggesting a minor and common sense change to the forum threads.


I stopped here.

Lets say MistressMoneyBags20009 (I hope thats not an actual account here) accuses boytoycrazydreamdate of rape after a meet.

I happen to believe rape is a horrible act.

I also happen to believe that the false allegation of rape is equally as horrible.

boytoycrazydreamdate comes along as claims he never even touched that woman.

Who do we believe?

None of this can be proven. Even if he is arrested, that doesnt equate to guilty.

Whose responsibility is it to discover the truth?

To allow what you are wanting to allow opens many up to situations that can damage reputations, ruin their businesses, even destroy their families.

All because some woman may have been upset with some man who didnt do what she wanted him to do.

I am in no way saying this is what happened to you or your friend.

I AM saying this is the kettle of worms that will be opened up.


OK Taz, you are way freaking over the line here.
This is the Internet.
How dare you be making sensible posts.
Whatcha trying to do-give us all a bad name?

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/15/2013 3:41:25 PM   
Blonderfluff


Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FelineRanger


quote:

ORIGINAL: AmandaPeace

Again - you seem to be wrapped in in some kind of bizarre obsession with naming names and black lists. That's not what I've suggested at any point and I think you all know that.

I'm pursuing plenty of avenues to help my friend and help others as well. No, that doesn't absolve this community of the need to think about issues like this and allow a space to talk about them instead of burying and attacking people who bring up uncomfortable topics.

I'm not interested in "presenting evidence" to attack any particular person and I'm under no illusions that this is a "court of law" (nor do I understand your impression that I think that).

But I do think this is an online forum with a series of threaded conversations organized in such a way as to be helpful to the community and I'm suggesting a reorganization that would be significantly more helpful in helping people to make good decisions.

There should be a place designated for people to talk about "negative experiences" right along-side the positive ones.


I've tried to respond rationally to your statements several times, but I can't. I really wish I could put a finger on why I think you're a cop trolling CM for a suspect but I can't. Unfortunately, I've also learned that I should really pay attention to such instincts.

OP and "her" profile disappeared pretty quickly after this comment ...

Things that make you go "hmmmmmm"

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.



I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to FelineRanger)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/15/2013 3:44:52 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

OK Taz, you are way freaking over the line here.
This is the Internet.
How dare you be making sensible posts.
Whatcha trying to do-give us all a bad name?


Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me!!



_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/15/2013 4:37:32 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		OK. I read the whole thread. Most of the stuff that I would have said has already been written.

OP, I'm going to try to give you the other side of this. It's the part about how false accusations can really fuck up people's lives. Even in situations where somebody wouldn't have to necessarily 'name a name' or other crap that has crossed this very forum and a few others. I can't even say everything that happened because I'd be in the same position because everybody would know who I was talking about and even though I can literally PROVE that false accusations were made, outing was attempted, and stuff that I can barely keep track of anymore because there's just been so damn much of it, I seriously can't sit here and say I want that kind of nonsense to happen to anybody else.

I'm sorry for what happened to your friend, but let Me assure you that there really are some vicious fucks on the planet who will try to twist the most innocent of things just because there was a break up, or they don't know how to handle it when their D or s decides they are happier without a certain person in their life, or they twist stuff in their own head because they don't like a particular outcome. Yes, I get how frustrating it can be when somebody has something terrible happen to them and they don't file a police report and all of their evidence is gone. From where I'm sitting, it comes across like a part of that frustration that is probably stemming from your friend is being lashed out against the forum. That's misplaced. None of the people here or the forum layout can make up for her lack of following through with charges the way I have a feeling you would have done. Believe Me. That kind of thing can get under My skin, too. The problem is, this site or the readers here aren't the basis for that frustration.

If you want to make a suggestion for the site, the forums actually aren't the proper channels for that. You need to write Support so that the powers that be can make a decision for your recommendation. Nobody on this thread (to this point, at least) has any more authority to change the site than you do. Just like you couldn't walk into My house and decide that My place needs an additional room off of the kitchen so you start making arrangements with contractors, you have to let the owners of the site decide what belongs as a forum category and what doesn't.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/15/2013 4:46:40 PM   
FelineRanger


Posts: 658
Joined: 9/4/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff


quote:

ORIGINAL: FelineRanger

I've tried to respond rationally to your statements several times, but I can't. I really wish I could put a finger on why I think you're a cop trolling CM for a suspect but I can't. Unfortunately, I've also learned that I should really pay attention to such instincts.

OP and "her" profile disappeared pretty quickly after this comment ...

Things that make you go "hmmmmmm"


Ain't it though? Any bets on how long before I get a knock on my door from the NJSP?

_____________________________

Bill

(in reply to Blonderfluff)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 11:53:02 AM   
AmandaPeace


Posts: 26
Joined: 6/19/2013
Status: offline 		[/quote]
OP and "her" profile disappeared pretty quickly after this comment ...

Things that make you go "hmmmmmm"
[/quote]

That's because people spammed me with report messages to the moderators, who promptly suppressed my profile.

I also got a lot of personal attack messages and even a death threat.

But I'm sure that won't "make you go "hmmmmmm"

So good work on that guys.

Creating a new forum designated for negative feedback is apparently tantamount to an existential threat to everything you hold dear. I don't believe that, but it sure is how you're responding.

And this is what people face here when they share negative experiences, right? At best, you call them whiners and drama queens, and then you attack, attack, attack until they shut up or leave.

For those of you who made reasonable thoughtful responses, though, I thank you. Truly.

(in reply to Blonderfluff)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 11:55:32 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		You aint nobody, until you get a death threat on the internet.


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to AmandaPeace)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 12:12:04 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		When new people post on the forums, many people will look at their profiles.

If your profile contains something that is blatantly against the Terms of Service, such as making negative comments against another named user, or trying to blacklist someone, then it's likely that you will be reported until you eventually abide by the rules you agreed to when you joined the site.

That, more than likely, is what happened. Don't like it? Then follow the rules.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to AmandaPeace)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 12:18:46 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

That, more than likely, is what happened. Don't like it? Then follow the rules.

Rules do not apply to Captain Saveaho!

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 12:22:59 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AmandaPeace

I strongly suspect that meeting someone through a website with an immediate goal of putting one of them in bondage might lead to some crappy, even life-threatening situations.

So it's irresponsible on the border of criminal negligence to actively hide, delete, and deny these experiences, even attacking people for questioning forum "rules"

So yeah - I'd like to know what other people's experiences have genuinely been and I don't want to have that feedback heavily censored, particularly with an eye to omitting only the negative or even neutral experiences.

And yes - I think questioning the premise of a thread subject absolutely belongs under that subject and not elsewhere.




If you believe your first line, why are you on the site? People are here for varying reasons, only one of which may be a shared interest in bondage. But others have met play partners and even relationships and marriages

The only things censored are when people disobey the forum guidelines.

As others have told you, there are lots of places to post negative experiences, so why dump on the positive ones?

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 12/16/2013 12:41:22 PM >

(in reply to AmandaPeace)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 12:38:24 PM   
AmandaPeace


Posts: 26
Joined: 6/19/2013
Status: offline 		That's funny. The last person to take issue with that "first" line said that anyone who did anything like that would be stupid. And now questioned why I'm on the site if I don't want to do that.

But you're pretty selective about what's against the rules, right?

No one is concerned that I'm attacked, defamed, insulted, or even that my life has been threatened. I see that all over the TOS, but not a word about "black listing" http://www.collarchat.com/tos.asp

But because I've (very humbly) questioned the system, anything that happens to me is just what I deserve?

I've been accused of blacklisting for what I've said on this forum thread repeatedly. But if you read what I wrote, it's just not there.

That doesn't strike you as a double standard? At all?

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 12:44:14 PM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
Status: offline 		Threatened? Over a god damned thread?

Honey, I have been here for years and have not seen one person threatened or mentioning being threatened over something like this. Politics... well, there were a few crazies I saw do that, but no fucking way where you threatened and your profile suppressed over this thread. You are pretty extreme. The thing is, if your profile was suppressed... how is it that you are posting? You must have done something that got it unsuppressed and you know exactly why it was suppressed in the first place.

You want to toss bull shit out there... you go right ahead, but many of us have been here a long time and you aren't pulling this off without a hitch.

Do you write fairy tales too?

(in reply to AmandaPeace)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 12:50:06 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		First off, you are getting worked up over nothing. You received a ton of good suggestions and explanations, but you don't want to hear it. You wanted to hear validation on your suggestion.

As far as you getting attacked, defamed or death threats, no one knows you, it is the internet and you need to have a thick skin to engage here or anywhere.

I don't think you asked for blacklisting, but as stated there are tons of sections available for negative experiences.

Fetlife has masses of threads on negative experiences, even rapes, which allegedly happened.

I think your concern is justified, you just went about it wrong.

You can report the threats to support here.

(in reply to AmandaPeace)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 1:03:23 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AmandaPeace

That's because people spammed me with report messages to the moderators, who promptly suppressed my profile.

I also got a lot of personal attack messages and even a death threat.

But I'm sure that won't "make you go "hmmmmmm"

So good work on that guys.


You're right. It makes us go "Tap, tap, tap."


_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to AmandaPeace)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 1:16:49 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AmandaPeace


OP and "her" profile disappeared pretty quickly after this comment ...

Things that make you go "hmmmmmm"


That's because people spammed me with report messages to the moderators, who promptly suppressed my profile.

I also got a lot of personal attack messages and even a death threat.

But I'm sure that won't "make you go "hmmmmmm"

So good work on that guys.

Creating a new forum designated for negative feedback is apparently tantamount to an existential threat to everything you hold dear. I don't believe that, but it sure is how you're responding.

And this is what people face here when they share negative experiences, right? At best, you call them whiners and drama queens, and then you attack, attack, attack until they shut up or leave.

For those of you who made reasonable thoughtful responses, though, I thank you. Truly.


Are you, by any chance, a lesbian from Canada?

< Message edited by JstAnotherSub -- 12/16/2013 1:18:34 PM >

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to AmandaPeace)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 1:22:37 PM   
AmandaPeace


Posts: 26
Joined: 6/19/2013
Status: offline
quote:

Rules do not apply to Captain Saveaho!


She's not a ho and you don't know anything about her except that she was raped.

Seriously. What's with you people and defending rapists?

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 1:23:23 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan


quote:

ORIGINAL: AmandaPeace

And it's really disturbing that you're so unfazed by the idea of your community members raping other community members. I would think that would raise some kind of note of concern, but it appears not.

It seems you're 100% committed to attacking victims and that's... well that's really sad.



Oh, FFS...




dito Sylvere...

Probably on this incident it was the facebook communitys fault as well and on that that one the plentyoffish community

Seems to me the OP is new to life and thinks something like rape is a new invention on this planet

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 1:24:28 PM   
AmandaPeace


Posts: 26
Joined: 6/19/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail
You aint nobody, until you get a death threat on the internet.


A funny statement, but how is it that what I've said is so deserving of attacks and somehow death threats don't rise to that level?

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 1:26:51 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni
Do you write fairy tales too?


If she does, its certainly not getting very far in the bestseller-list....not with that style

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to Rawni)
Profile   Post #: 100
Page:   <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Only Positive?! Page: <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094