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RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 1:30:39 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AmandaPeace
I'm not wanting to attack this site or this community. I'm just humbly suggesting a minor and common sense change to the forum threads.


The "search" button is your friend....if you would have researched about your awesomly great idea, you might have understood that this is by far not the first time, that someone tries to bring in this awesome wisdom on here

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to AmandaPeace)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 1:39:09 PM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AmandaPeace
But you're pretty selective about what's against the rules, right?

No one is concerned that I'm attacked, defamed, insulted, or even that my life has been threatened. I see that all over the TOS, but not a word about "black listing" http://www.collarchat.com/tos.asp

I don't see any of that in this thread.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AmandaPeace
But because I've (very humbly) questioned the system, anything that happens to me is just what I deserve?

Yes.
Because of ALL the threads to pick to make a negative quip and question the 'system' was on the one and only thread entitled "Positive Experiences" where it has been exclusively setup for just that - Positive Experiences.
Are you really sooo thick to think nobody would notice??
You posted an inappropriate post in the wrong thread. Simple as that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AmandaPeace
I've been accused of blacklisting for what I've said on this forum thread repeatedly. But if you read what I wrote, it's just not there.

That doesn't strike you as a double standard? At all?

But you tried to name names and suggest we should allow it??

And in the ToS, did you specifically miss THIS bit -
"4.3.        No Illegal Conduct Allowed: You will not use the Website in any manner inconsistent with any applicable laws or regulations. You may not include any personally-identifying information such as phone numbers, street addresses, Web site addresses, email addresses, Instant Messenger screen names, or any other information that if provided may be used to circumvent the Website's communication capabilities."

(in reply to AmandaPeace)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 1:41:10 PM   
VideoAdminDelta


Posts: 1278
Joined: 7/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AmandaPeace

That's funny. The last person to take issue with that "first" line said that anyone who did anything like that would be stupid. And now questioned why I'm on the site if I don't want to do that.

But you're pretty selective about what's against the rules, right?

No one is concerned that I'm attacked, defamed, insulted, or even that my life has been threatened. I see that all over the TOS, but not a word about "black listing" http://www.collarchat.com/tos.asp

But because I've (very humbly) questioned the system, anything that happens to me is just what I deserve?

I've been accused of blacklisting for what I've said on this forum thread repeatedly. But if you read what I wrote, it's just not there.

That doesn't strike you as a double standard? At all?


Blacklisting is not allowed on this site, as was explained to you from Support.

The original post was made in 2007 and has been a constant standard of both CollarMe and CollarChat since then.

Why We Don't Allow Blacklists - 7/24/2007 7:55:08 AM

This issue comes up so often in posts by new members that we felt it necessary to make a special post about this one issue. To be sure, there are all kinds of people in the world and, given that we (like other public websites) don't have the ability to dictate who joins our website, you will meet all kinds of people here; some very nice (like yourself), some not so much. It is perhaps for this reason that new users are wont to post about their bad experiences with this or that person or even come up with the very original idea of making a list of all the "bad" users on the site. As has been recounted countless times, the fundamental flaw with this idea is not that it is ill intended, it is that there is not, nor can there be, any fact checking of such claims.

If you still believe that blacklists are a good idea then consider the following thought experiment. Suppose that someone made up a malicious and horrible lie about you and posted it to a blacklist on the forum. Would you want us to take it down after you informed us of your innocence or would you be fine with us leaving it up despite your most impassioned pleas that the facts alleged about you were false? It is a pretty safe bet that you would want those false claims removed in a hurry. Now let us suppose that true claims are posted about a real jerk attesting to what a jerk he is. Further suppose that this jerk approaches us with the same passion you did, demanding that the true assertions about him are false and must be remove immediately. Both you and the other user come to us claiming passionately to be innocent but which one are we to believe? When you know the answer to that question, you will know why blacklists are not permitted.

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=1163969

As to this part of your post:

quote:

No one is concerned that I'm attacked, defamed, insulted, or even that my life has been threatened. I see that all over the TOS, but not a word about "black listing" http://www.collarchat.com/tos.asp


It is listed. It falls under harassment. However, you have pulled up the wrong Terms of Service. Profiles fall under CollarMe: http://www.collarme.com/personals/tos.htm

As to the "death" threats, Support has received no complaints that this is occuring on the CollarMe side from you. If it is happening on the message boards, VideoAdminChi is your contact person.

Delta

(in reply to AmandaPeace)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 1:41:38 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AmandaPeace

She's not a ho and you don't know anything about her except that she was raped.

I wasn't referring to her. And to be fair, we know nothing about her at all, or even if she exists outside of your imagination.

quote:

Seriously. What's with you people and defending rapists?

What's with you classifying anyone who disagrees with you as a "rapist defender?"


_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to AmandaPeace)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 1:45:04 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		well, we only have your word on death threats, and that aint gonna count much more than Ws for WMDS.

I assume you turned it in to support.

I think that if you get some lull around the end of the year, you should take a class in theater.

Cuz thats what we got here.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to AmandaPeace)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 1:49:01 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AmandaPeace

That's funny. The last person to take issue with that "first" line said that anyone who did anything like that would be stupid. And now questioned why I'm on the site if I don't want to do that.

But you're pretty selective about what's against the rules, right?

No one is concerned that I'm attacked, defamed, insulted, or even that my life has been threatened. I see that all over the TOS, but not a word about "black listing" http://www.collarchat.com/tos.asp

But because I've (very humbly) questioned the system, anything that happens to me is just what I deserve?

I've been accused of blacklisting for what I've said on this forum thread repeatedly. But if you read what I wrote, it's just not there.

That doesn't strike you as a double standard? At all?

They already linked you the Administrative Announcement on "Why we don't allow blacklisting," so if people reported you for doing that in your journals, don't blame them. If you were already breaking that rule before this thread and it came to people's attention because of this thread, that really is still on you.

While I appreciate you linking ToS, it's rather evident to Me that you didn't read it. If you had, you'd see that it's a lot of legalese that basically says the site is going to cover it's own ass from lawsuits and bullshit. I can promise you that I've been in a FAR worse position than you are now and bumped My head against this a few times.

If you've honestly told the truth in this thread, you are still just a third party. Your "friend" was hurt and believe Me, that's not the same as someone inflicting pain on your doorstep. Yet, you are wasting your energy on this piddly thing because the site isn't doing what you, in an instant, have decided what is best to do just because you have a whim.

In the course of this thread, you mentioned that you teach self defense. Your JOB, if I've read it right, is to empower women. Do you teach them to balk at the system or do you teach them what they can do with what they have at their disposal?


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to AmandaPeace)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 1:55:22 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I also got a lot of personal attack messages and even a death threat.


I'm perplexed that you would chose to report a death thread on a discussion board, but not to Support, who can actually do something about it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminDelta

As to the "death" threats, Support has received no complaints that this is occuring on the CollarMe side from you. If it is happening on the message boards, VideoAdminChi is your contact person.

Delta

(in reply to AmandaPeace)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 2:00:30 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AmandaPeace

quote:

Rules do not apply to Captain Saveaho!


She's not a ho and you don't know anything about her except that she was raped.

Seriously. What's with you people and defending rapists?


Stef will correct me if I'm wrong, but Captain Saveaho is a generic reference to White Knights, not to your friend.

(in reply to AmandaPeace)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 2:08:01 PM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

Captain Save a ho

E-40 the rap artist coined the phrase captain save a ho.
Where a guy will take care of a goldigger. pay for everything. pay for goldie to get her nails done, hair done, get a cellular hooked up. the guy will be a sucker for the girl and take care of paying for her kids. He will come to the girls rescue like a superhero in attempt to get some play. Dine her and she will take advantage of him. he would actually say I will save a ho baby I am here for you. Make captain save a ho take care of your kids. make your kids his. it is all part of that take care of me like a superhero with an S on the chest, When I call on the cellular you hooked up, come and save me.
 Source: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Captain+save+a+Ho Nothing to do with her friend at all. 

I'm seriously thinking this is a WUT!!

< Message edited by freedomdwarf1 -- 12/16/2013 2:09:56 PM >

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 2:23:25 PM   
VideoAdminGamma


Posts: 2233
Status: offline 		Closed for review.

_____________________________

"The administration has the authority to handle situations in whatever manner they feel to be in the best interests of the forum, at that moment, in response to that event. "

http://www.collarchat.com/m_72/tm.htm

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 2:58:21 PM   
VideoAdminGamma


Posts: 2233
Status: offline 		I have pulled some posts that violated the community guidelines and the replies to those posts. Please refrain from making personal attacks.

If any forum member wishes to report a violation, they should click on report and submit a ticket. By submitting a ticket the next staff available to assist with it will do so, which insures a faster response than a message sent to just one of us.

If there are any questions, please do not reply in this topic and instead you may contact me or Chi.

Thank you for being a part of CollarMe,
Gamma

_____________________________

"The administration has the authority to handle situations in whatever manner they feel to be in the best interests of the forum, at that moment, in response to that event. "

http://www.collarchat.com/m_72/tm.htm

(in reply to VideoAdminGamma)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 3:08:24 PM   
VideoAdminGamma


Posts: 2233
Status: offline 		We are attempting to be ever vigilant that neither of those instances happen again. If any members have information, other than a "feeling", then please contact me or Chi.

Thanks,
Gamma

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

You're right. It makes us go "Tap, tap, tap."


quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

Are you, by any chance, a lesbian from Canada?



_____________________________

"The administration has the authority to handle situations in whatever manner they feel to be in the best interests of the forum, at that moment, in response to that event. "

http://www.collarchat.com/m_72/tm.htm

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/16/2013 8:59:43 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixpower


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni
Do you write fairy tales too?


If she does, its certainly not getting very far in the bestseller-list....not with that style


The unreliable narrator has been a popular ploy in many best selling novels.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to Phoenixpower)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/17/2013 2:24:05 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		At the top of every forum is a sticky that says "Forum Guidelines". It tells you what is acceptable in that forum. The Positive Experiences forum says this:

quote:

As the description for this section states, this is a forum for members to post about their positive experiences with meeting other Collarme.com members IN PERSON, in a non-professional setting.

Criticism of other users is not permitted. Only members who have met other members from this site in person should post here.

You should also post the username(as of 02/10/13), date (or approximate time) of when you first met in person and how long you have known each other online prior. Any other details will be left up to the person posting. You do not have to be currently involved with anyone that you write about. The only requirements are that you have met them in person and it was a positive experience that you wish to share with others.

This is NOT the place to make accusations about other members since we have no way of knowing whether what is posted is true or not. That isn't a judgment call on any given person since a certain situation could all be true and posted with the best of intentions, but then again, it could be posted with intentions of slander or spite. We have no real way of knowing.

Subjects which are unacceptable regardless of circumstance include, but are not limited to - minors engaged in sexual activities, bestiality, incest, necrophilia, snuff and criminal activities. Any other questions of acceptability will be determined based on the content of the given essay.

Keep the discussions civil and mature, and do not insult the kinks, preferences, lifestyles, etc. of others.

There is an Off Topic Discussion category elsewhere on this board if you wish to bring up subjects other than those intended here.


When you signed up for this site you agreed to follow the ToS and the guidelines. Then ignored the guidelines and got all butt hurt when the post (which doesn't meet the guidelines that you agreed to) gets moved to the correct forum.

So, why do you think that the rules don't apply to you?


I'll also add, you somehow think that we should be up in arms about what happened to your friend. Here's the reality, we don't know you, don't know if you're real, don't know if you're telling the truth. We don't know your friend, don't know if she's telling the truth, don't know if she even really exists. We don't know if the guys exists. Hell, you don't even know if he came from CM.

It's all just words on the screen and those words are hearsay at best.

As for the negative comments forums, regardless of whether you intended to blacklist or not, that forum would be blacklisting central. The Mods here are volunteers and you'd be sucking up their time spanking every idiot that decided it was a free for all, name dropping kind of place.

Instead of ranting about being expected to follow the rules, it would probably be more productive to focus of helping your friend heal.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 12/17/2013 3:22:37 PM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/18/2013 7:15:39 AM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline
quote:

When you signed up for this site you agreed to follow the ToS and the guidelines. Then ignored the guidelines and got all butt hurt when the post (which doesn't meet the guidelines that you agreed to) gets moved to the correct forum.

So, why do you think that the rules don't apply to you?


I'll also add, you somehow think that we should be up in arms about what happened to your friend. Here's the reality, we don't know you, don't know if you're real, don't know if you're telling the truth. We don't know your friend, don't know if she's telling the truth, don't know if she even really exists. We don't know if the guys exists. Hell, you don't even know if he came from CM.

It's all just words on the screen and those words are hearsay at best.

As for the negative comments forums, regardless of whether you intended to blacklist or not, that forum would be blacklisting central. The Mods here are volunteers and you'd be sucking up their time spanking every idiot that decided it was a free for all, name dropping kind of place.

Instead of ranting about being expected to follow the rules, it would probably be more productive to focus of helping your friend heal.


Many people post without reading the guidelines yet not purposefully "ignore" them. The post paints the newbie in a most negative way without substantive reason. It is intended to "put the newbie in her place" using the words of the TOS as some kind of permission. A "Regular" playing Moderator. Nice.

"Butt hurt" is by itself hurtful rather than helpful. If we are looking for people trying to hurt someone I would not first point to the OP.

"It's all just words on the screen ..." this post is meant to paint the newbie as less than truthful without any supporting information. Still hurtful again.

So, basically this is the negative comments forum for some of those posting while also berating the OP for wanting one. Nice.

We wonder why newbies cannot be retained? I don't.

Arturas.


_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/18/2013 7:25:26 AM   
Copper29


Posts: 25
Joined: 12/10/2013
Status: offline 		I think it's only fair to have a specific board about 'negative experiences.' Those of you who don't read to read at it or look at it? No problem! Don't go to that board. Those of us that would be interested? Great! We have a safe and designated space to go. This isn't about libel or slandering-- it's about keeping people safe. Yes, I'm a domme, and yes, the expectation is that if I should meet a sub in real life I'm going to take every precaution and be as careful as possible about my safety and screening, and that I should also be in control. But the bottom line is that I am a 110 pound woman who could easily physically be overwhelmed by someone much larger than me-- which is why I do not meet subs online in real life. Period. But if I could, say, search the good/bad experiences or even just be aware of what was happening in the community around me, that would give me a great deal more comfort.


(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/18/2013 7:42:14 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		How will reading negative experiences keep you safer?

It will all be hearsay and some of it won't be true.

Do you think that it will help you determine red flags?
There are pages and pages of online links that discuss those.

A book that is often recommended is:
The Gift of Fear

_____________________________

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(as deemed by He who owns me)

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to Copper29)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/18/2013 7:52:54 AM   
Copper29


Posts: 25
Joined: 12/10/2013
Status: offline 		The world lives and dies on hearsay. That's why companies spend millions-- billions! of dollars on advertising. It's why politicians bother to campaign. No, not all of it is true. But if I hear a consistent message from many different sources, particularly ones I trust? I'll be likely to pay attention.

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/18/2013 7:59:54 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Copper29
But the bottom line is that I am a 110 pound woman who could easily physically be overwhelmed by someone much larger than me-- which is why I do not meet subs online in real life. Period.

I used to date a woman who grew up in a war zone (Liberia). She had no trouble meeting people in the US in real life, and had a hard time understanding why people were worried about it. If it seems dangerous to you to meet someone you might like in a public place, then you've had a fairly sheltered life. And I say that knowing full well you might have been the victim of plenty of things. This sort of fear is a first world privilege, straight up.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Copper29)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: Only Positive?! - 12/18/2013 8:05:26 AM   
Copper29


Posts: 25
Joined: 12/10/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Copper29
But the bottom line is that I am a 110 pound woman who could easily physically be overwhelmed by someone much larger than me-- which is why I do not meet subs online in real life. Period.

I used to date a woman who grew up in a war zone (Liberia). She had no trouble meeting people in the US in real life, and had a hard time understanding why people were worried about it. If it seems dangerous to you to meet someone you might like in a public place, then you've had a fairly sheltered life. And I say that knowing full well you might have been the victim of plenty of things. This sort of fear is a first world privilege, straight up.


Thank you for your entirely unsolicited assumptions about my life. Making sure that I am safe and comfortable is my #1 priority and I do whatever I can to put that first. The experiences of your friend have little to no meaning when it comes to my life. Fear for one's safety is not a first world privilege-- it is a means of ensuring and maintaining one's survival. Pointing at me and essentially calling chicken does not change that.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 120
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