RE: What can we do to retain new posters? (Full Version)

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MariaB -> RE: What can we do to retain new posters? (12/21/2013 5:23:01 AM)

@Apocalypso, you can't spend money if you don't make money. Running a site like this relies on an income to survive. Its highly unlikely this site is in profit and if costs outweigh income then it gets to a point of 'what's the point'?

I may be wrong but I have never seen a 'donations' section on this site. why not?

Another thing is membership. Memberships bring in a half decent revenue. Obviously you have to offer members extras but its certainly something to consider.

Advertising here has had its day. The bigger FL gets the more of an exodus we will see here and the less clicks the site receives, the less attractive advertising here becomes. Unless FL fails (which it well could as its an independently coded site [;)] ), surviving is going to get tougher and like I said up top^nobody wants to do anything for nothing. CM is not a charity, its a business.




AthenaSurrenders -> RE: What can we do to retain new posters? (12/21/2013 6:42:45 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

Oh fuuuuuuuuu...

One of the asshats who got banned from the forums has now started CMailing me to plead his case. WTF?!? Why me? I blame Chi.



I bet I know who it is. I got a similar email a few months back.



Now I'm getting messages from someone who was banned two years before I got here, telling me how unfair it was he was harassed off the board from day 1.




FieryOpal -> RE: What can we do to retain new posters? (12/21/2013 7:58:31 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

@Apocalypso, you can't spend money if you don't make money. Running a site like this relies on an income to survive. Its highly unlikely this site is in profit and if costs outweigh income then it gets to a point of 'what's the point'?

I may be wrong but I have never seen a 'donations' section on this site. why not?

Another thing is membership. Memberships bring in a half decent revenue. Obviously you have to offer members extras but its certainly something to consider.

Advertising here has had its day. The bigger FL gets the more of an exodus we will see here and the less clicks the site receives, the less attractive advertising here becomes. Unless FL fails (which it well could as its an independently coded site [;)] ), surviving is going to get tougher and like I said up top^nobody wants to do anything for nothing. CM is not a charity, its a business.

According to two acquaintances in the UK and one in Germany, there was a site called IC-Informed Consent in Europe that shut down very early this year, and I understand it had been hugely successful. Is there any way Collarme could attract those users or learn from that model? They're male subs who say nothing has come along to fill in the gap; they're disappointed both with FetLife and with this site.

(I believe the former owner wasn't making any money and running IC had become burdensome or too time-consuming, I'm not exactly sure.)




HipPoindexter -> RE: What can we do to retain new posters? (12/21/2013 8:04:41 AM)

guys, relax. it's cool. i'll probably stick around. :)




MariaB -> RE: What can we do to retain new posters? (12/21/2013 8:33:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

According to two acquaintances in the UK and one in Germany, there was a site called IC-Informed Consent in Europe that shut down very early this year, and I understand it had been hugely successful. Is there any way Collarme could attract those users or learn from that model? They're male subs who say nothing has come along to fill in the gap; they're disappointed both with FetLife and with this site.

(I believe the former owner wasn't making any money and running IC had become burdensome or too time-consuming, I'm not exactly sure.)


Informed consent was a good site. I was a member long before I was a member here and I stayed with them right through to the end.

I've been told that Tanos, the owner, never really made any money with IC, it was more of a dedicated hobby for him. The problems arose when he couldn't update his site without spending an awful lot of money and an awful lot of money wasn't something he was prepared to spend. Tanos still owns the UK slave register which apparently is doing well but its a great shame he didn't try to sell the site on. There were plenty of potential buyers. I guess he just wanted to go down with the ship.

The difference between IC and CM is, most of the people who used that site knew one another or at least their paths were likely to cross in the near future. It wasn't a dating site by any stretch of the imagination.




OsideGirl -> RE: What can we do to retain new posters? (12/21/2013 10:08:55 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Zonie63
I believe it gets out of line, though, when one or more regs cry "foul" and act as if the newbie has made some horrible offense when all they've done is respond in kind to the treatment they've received. I see that as some of the regs being thin-skinned, not the newbies. Everyone needs to be thick-skinned, not just the newbies.


I don't think that is what happens. The regulars here know where the line is between attacking a post and attacking the poster. New posters don't. So, it's not necessarily about being thin skinned. It's about the regulars knowing where that line is.


quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

Oh fuuuuuuuuu...

One of the asshats who got banned from the forums has now started CMailing me to plead his case. WTF?!? Why me? I blame Chi.



I bet I know who it is. I got a similar email a few months back.



Now I'm getting messages from someone who was banned two years before I got here, telling me how unfair it was he was harassed off the board from day 1.


Yup, that would be him. He's on Fet too....




AthenaSurrenders -> RE: What can we do to retain new posters? (12/21/2013 10:29:58 AM)

Marvelous. And now he's calling me a 'twatt' for not agreeing with him. He seems to want to involve me in a big conspiracy about the site. I can't imagine how he got banned.

What a waste of a life to still be obsessing about a website ban after four years. Makes me a little bit sad.





stef -> RE: What can we do to retain new posters? (12/21/2013 10:35:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

Marvelous. And now he's calling me a 'twatt' for not agreeing with him. He seems to want to involve me in a big conspiracy about the site. I can't imagine how he got banned.

What a waste of a life to still be obsessing about a website ban after four years. Makes me a little bit sad.

David is a professional victim. It's the only club in his bag.




LadyPact -> RE: What can we do to retain new posters? (12/21/2013 10:36:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Yup, that would be him. He's on Fet too....

Actually, they yanked at least one of his screen names over there as well.


ETA - Yes, for exactly the same crap.





AthenaSurrenders -> RE: What can we do to retain new posters? (12/21/2013 10:40:14 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: wanderingjew

quote:

That's my point, or rather my point was 'welcome to the world'.

My apologies for having missed that - a good single malt will do that to you sometimes.


I daresay a bad single malt would do that too [:D]




OsideGirl -> RE: What can we do to retain new posters? (12/21/2013 10:53:36 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Yup, that would be him. He's on Fet too....

Actually, they yanked at least one of his screen names over there as well.


ETA - Yes, for exactly the same crap.




Yeah, he was one of the people where there was absolutely no question whether the ban was justified or not.




SylvereApLeanan -> RE: What can we do to retain new posters? (12/21/2013 12:10:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

Oh fuuuuuuuuu...

One of the asshats who got banned from the forums has now started CMailing me to plead his case. WTF?!? Why me? I blame Chi.



I bet I know who it is. I got a similar email a few months back.



Now I'm getting messages from someone who was banned two years before I got here, telling me how unfair it was he was harassed off the board from day 1.


It seems he's making the rounds. If Chi hasn't already contacted you, shoot her a PM. She contacted me and took care of him for me.




VideoAdminChi -> RE: What can we do to retain new posters? (12/21/2013 6:17:59 PM)

Actually, I just verified that we were talking about the same person. I can't take care of anyone on the profile side - please use Block, and if a poster uses multiple profiles to circumvent a block, contact Support: http://www.collarme.com/personals/support.htm




VideoAdminChi -> RE: What can we do to retain new posters? (12/21/2013 6:18:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminChi

quote:

You might want to revisit the three-month-locked-thread rule


Sure. Please participate in the poll. Posters do not want to allow necro threads to be revived should specify why in this thread:

Should Necro Post be allowed to be revived?


We have killed the "no necro" rule. Let's see how it goes :)

Best,

Chi




orgasmdenial12 -> RE: What can we do to retain new posters? (12/22/2013 4:27:04 AM)

It's really very simple. A large number of people come here and answer questions because it gives them a stiffy to insult people, be judgemental and put other people down. they are not looking to be helpful - they are looking for an excuse to have an argument. This is why they answer questions that are in no way related to them, just because it gives them a chance to call someone names or make them feel stupid for daring to post or ask a question. They see questions that they are not interested in as fair provocation and just wade right in.

Then, their offensive posts are not removed by moderators, which compounds the bullying. The poster feels like they have walked into a snake pit, which they have. The only way to deal with people who routinely attack others is to delete their posts - take away their soapbox until they can learn that they are not going to be given an audience for their bile.

I totally respect the woman who stuck up for the OP on the other thread - that's the kind of person we need more of. Everyone else can jump down her throat all they like - but she was right, and she was brave for saying something. It takes courage to stand up to a clique this entrenched and self-righteous.

Many regulars on this site seem to feel that it's their duty to police the forum and answer every single question, especially if the answer is in the negative. They seem to forget that they are not obliged to answer any questions at all - if they don't like a question, they can simply walk away. It's crazy but it just might work.

Take the topic on the other thread - the OP wanted to know about eating women's ass. Unless you're a) a woman who wants her ass eating or b) an expert on the subject who can help and advise - then why answer?! Just move along to a question where you can make a positive contribution. Answering by saying 'you need to adjust your attitude' is just an excuse to start an argument. If the OP's approach is really that bad then no-one will answer his question and he'll get the idea that he needs to change his approach.

I've heard a lot of posters say you wouldn't walk into a bar and start talking about your dick; true, but then you wouldn't walk into a bar and see a woman being held by the hair while she eats out a man's ass, or a woman squirting enema water into the face of another woman - yet I see both these things on the adverts every time I log into collarme. You also wouldn't walk into a bar and see people dressed the way they are portrayed in their pictures here because this ISN'T a bar, it's a sex website, it's a kinky sex website, so why should someone be shot down for asking a sex question?! If the admin don't want it to come across that way, then maybe remove the gratuitous porn adverts from the main website and then we'd be justified in reacting to sex questions. It's hypocritical to spam us all with sex and then react with horror when someone asks a sex question. Sex is normal, get over it.

Of all the forums I have been on, collarme is by far and away the nastiest, most judgemental, most cliquey and most full of self-righteous poseurs espousing their one true way. Threads where no-one puts the boot in are few and far between. Want to do something about it? Delete more posts. Simple as.





Zonie63 -> RE: What can we do to retain new posters? (12/22/2013 5:10:59 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: Zonie63
I believe it gets out of line, though, when one or more regs cry "foul" and act as if the newbie has made some horrible offense when all they've done is respond in kind to the treatment they've received. I see that as some of the regs being thin-skinned, not the newbies. Everyone needs to be thick-skinned, not just the newbies.


I don't think that is what happens. The regulars here know where the line is between attacking a post and attacking the poster. New posters don't. So, it's not necessarily about being thin skinned. It's about the regulars knowing where that line is.


Yes, but I'm not sure that new posters (or even not-so-new posters) can easily discern where that invisible "line" may be, even from reading the TOS.

However, if what you're saying is true, then this isn't really an issue about "coddling" new posters as much as it is about more direct communication and clarification as to where the "line" actually is. I've noticed that with some posts and posting styles, communication might come across as more indirect and coy, which can sometimes cloud and confuse a discussion which might have been more easily clarified with a direct and matter-of-fact approach.

It may not matter as much if people are mean or nice or whether anyone has a thin or thick skin. But perhaps clear, concise, open, and honest communication may solve some of the problems being addressed here.




VideoAdminChi -> RE: What can we do to [train] new posters? (12/22/2013 5:57:27 AM)

quote:

Personally, the positive experiences section, while heartwarming to read, is somewhat hindered by the requirement to name the person you've met. This is primarily a dating site. While there are social aspects of it, that's what most of the people with profiles are interested in. That being said, do I really want to name the person that is now my ex, even if everything is fine between us? I don't know who he is going to date next, or if she will even be sane. I'd be fine sharing my experience, from my perspective. What I don't like is being forced to name someone if I want to share that experience. I don't understand why it's forced for positive experiences, and banned for negative ones.


We turned that requirement into a suggestion earlier this year :)




ShaharThorne -> RE: What can we do to [train] new posters? (12/22/2013 6:01:34 AM)

can we just have the Mods train the new people? I am sure Alpha and others might enjoy it...




VideoAdminChi -> RE: What can we do to retain new posters? (12/22/2013 6:30:05 AM)

quote:

Then, their offensive posts are not removed by moderators, which compounds the bullying. The poster feels like they have walked into a snake pit, which they have. The only way to deal with people who routinely attack others is to delete their posts - take away their soapbox until they can learn that they are not going to be given an audience for their bile.


Outside Introduce yourself, snark is permitted; personal attacks are not. Moderators do not read every post. Feel free to use the Report link to report a personal attack. People will define PAs differently. For examples of what is and is not a reportable PA see http://www.collarchat.com/m_4246625/mpage_6/key_/tm.htm#4248463 and http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=4575093

There were no personal attacks in the thread that inspired me to start this one. Blunt (and practical) advice was given, for which the OP expressed gratitude. However, a third poster took offense at the blunt advice, which led to the hijack about how mean regulars are. "Forum super nanny" is snark, not a personal attack.

However, we don't wish new posters to be snarked away either, hence, this thread. Adding a section for new posters in which a more welcoming tone is the standard does have a lot of potential.




Kana -> RE: What can we do to retain new posters? (12/22/2013 6:36:28 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

It's really very simple. A large number of people come here and answer questions because it gives them a stiffy to insult people, be judgemental and put other people down. they are not looking to be helpful - they are looking for an excuse to have an argument. This is why they answer questions that are in no way related to them, just because it gives them a chance to call someone names or make them feel stupid for daring to post or ask a question. They see questions that they are not interested in as fair provocation and just wade right in.

Then, their offensive posts are not removed by moderators, which compounds the bullying. The poster feels like they have walked into a snake pit, which they have. The only way to deal with people who routinely attack others is to delete their posts - take away their soapbox until they can learn that they are not going to be given an audience for their bile.

I totally respect the woman who stuck up for the OP on the other thread - that's the kind of person we need more of. Everyone else can jump down her throat all they like - but she was right, and she was brave for saying something. It takes courage to stand up to a clique this entrenched and self-righteous.

Many regulars on this site seem to feel that it's their duty to police the forum and answer every single question, especially if the answer is in the negative. They seem to forget that they are not obliged to answer any questions at all - if they don't like a question, they can simply walk away. It's crazy but it just might work.

Take the topic on the other thread - the OP wanted to know about eating women's ass. Unless you're a) a woman who wants her ass eating or b) an expert on the subject who can help and advise - then why answer?! Just move along to a question where you can make a positive contribution. Answering by saying 'you need to adjust your attitude' is just an excuse to start an argument. If the OP's approach is really that bad then no-one will answer his question and he'll get the idea that he needs to change his approach.

I've heard a lot of posters say you wouldn't walk into a bar and start talking about your dick; true, but then you wouldn't walk into a bar and see a woman being held by the hair while she eats out a man's ass, or a woman squirting enema water into the face of another woman - yet I see both these things on the adverts every time I log into collarme. You also wouldn't walk into a bar and see people dressed the way they are portrayed in their pictures here because this ISN'T a bar, it's a sex website, it's a kinky sex website, so why should someone be shot down for asking a sex question?! If the admin don't want it to come across that way, then maybe remove the gratuitous porn adverts from the main website and then we'd be justified in reacting to sex questions. It's hypocritical to spam us all with sex and then react with horror when someone asks a sex question. Sex is normal, get over it.

Of all the forums I have been on, collarme is by far and away the nastiest, most judgemental, most cliquey and most full of self-righteous poseurs espousing their one true way. Threads where no-one puts the boot in are few and far between. Want to do something about it? Delete more posts. Simple as.



Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.



(Seriously though-if you dislike the place so much, why loiter? I don't hang out in spots where I'm uncomfortable. Might pass through once in a while, but I don't vacation there, much less buy a house on the block. And no, I'm not trolling. It's an honest question)




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