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RE: Soul Mates - 7/4/2006 6:32:49 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		Master and I had a conversation about soul-mates with another couple we were having dinner with a few weeks ago. The other couple were quick to pronounce how they thought they were soul-mates and had been waiting their whole lives to connect with each other, puting all past experiences in the category of "stuff we did to fill in time till we met".

They then prodded us to join with them in prounouncing our soul-mate connection...I hesitated as there was something inside me that didnt understand something and that thing was trying to have a relationship with that part of me that wanted it to be true. How could I say Master was my soul-mate when I buried a man 3 years ago who was the total center of my universe, who I had such an intense connection with..yet at the same time...Master is the center of my universe now, I live and breath him,  my thoughts are centered around him, my heart is filled with him, we are so connected....both relationships a soul connection.

But if there are two, that makes things divided and less powerful, so somewhere inside me didnt want to admit that, express that... I felt if I expressed it...it was devalue my relationship with Master...all these thoughts were running around in my moment of hesitation....and during it Master said his opinion. "Jali is the exact right person for me now, I cannot devalue my past relationships, I loved the women I was with." I hurredly agreed and added things to the conversation, taking Masters words and recognition of past relationships as permission for myself to express the same. Yet with each word I spoke, I felt more and more split, how could my heart be in two places, I began disliking the conversation very much, I felt uncomfortable and confused.

Thoughts arose in me like " Well if I'm exactly the right woman for Master right now, what happens tomorrow? I need to be the most special, the most important, the most this and that.." 'i dont want to be the exact right woman for now". I want to be the exact right woman for all time. So anyways, I'm having all these divisional thoughts which carried over to the next day. I was processing and processing them..the only way I could find some balance was to stop thinking about the past, stop thinking about the future and enjoy this moment now, the only moment my soul is alive in, is now. The only moment it can have a relationship and have a soul connection  is now...and there sits my Master..and I'm happy.

Whew!

< Message edited by slavejali -- 7/4/2006 6:46:12 PM >

_____________________________

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Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Soul Mates - 7/4/2006 6:36:15 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		My soon to be pet was burned by the one he believed was his "One". She tok certain physical attributes of his and made him self conscious of them, mentally destroyed him, and then onc she had brken him down, tossed him aside for one with more backbone.  He stayed with her becasue he believed she was his "one" and he had to.  He ha since gotten over that idea, and I will not allow him to even consider that I migth be the One until after we meet face to face, and spend time together. He thinks I am being mean, I think I am being realistic.
Though, in all honesty, I do hope I am...

DV

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Soul Mates - 7/4/2006 6:54:29 PM   
LTRsubNW


Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

My soon to be pet was burned by the one he believed was his "One". She tok certain physical attributes of his and made him self conscious of them, mentally destroyed him, and then onc she had brken him down, tossed him aside for one with more backbone.  He stayed with her becasue he believed she was his "one" and he had to.  He ha since gotten over that idea, and I will not allow him to even consider that I migth be the One until after we meet face to face, and spend time together. He thinks I am being mean, I think I am being realistic.
Though, in all honesty, I do hope I am...

DV


Dominants (as to subs) have an inordinant influence on (our) thinking.  For those of us who have very strong personalities, it takes several months to fall into place (of course...some of us never do :)   ).

For those of us with weak personalities, a few days.

Understand that subs have an ability to transfer our adherence that exceeds our ability to believe that our taxes are due and merited.

You Dommes (and those that preceded you) have an amazing influence...even among those of us who have very strident opinions.

His previous opinions are understandable.

< Message edited by LTRsubNW -- 7/4/2006 6:58:56 PM >

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Soul Mates - 7/4/2006 7:06:49 PM   
shyfem


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		I believe that there are many "One's" in each of our lives. Some come and go but always touch us in a way that none other has. I also agree that this may not always be in a romantic sense either.
 
As for soulmate, this I am not sure I truly believe in. I believe in having a very deep, strong connection with someone and loving them even after they have left our lives. If this is what is meant by a soulmate then I understand. As for a one and only soulmate or One, all I can say is "God I hope there is more than just one"
 
~shy
-------------------------------------------------
May all who tread here find what they seek!

(in reply to LTRsubNW)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Soul Mates - 7/4/2006 7:08:53 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Understandable, yes.  Hopefully, though, his opinions are also changable.  She was his first and only experience in the lifestyle and like a first love, you believe your first "one" wil be the only one you ever meet. It never ceases to amaze me, the impact someone can have on anotehr persons psyche when they believe they are in love.

DV

(in reply to LTRsubNW)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Soul Mates - 7/4/2006 10:56:56 PM   
sleazybutterfly


Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		fast reply:
 
I think that maybe we do have soul mates...but for different levels of our lives.. I am not sure I believe it falls down to just the one person from every human on the planet that we must find.
 
I know for me.. as love goes.. in my late twenties..up to thirty...it was my ex-girlfriend.  She and I clicked..had so much in common..and we were both there and helped other discover so many things in life..and about ourselves.  We are still friends and I can't imagine my life without her.
 
Then there are the others.. like the friends you are close to.. the ones you can tell anything to.. that you can count on at any time.  They aren't sexual in nature..but maybe you are soul mates just the same.
 
I think that many people can become our soul mates... a friend.. a person we seem to just really know... or bond with... they come in many forms and in many instances.  Some may be for different stages in our lives and others may be there throughout the entirety of it. 
 
If we spend our lives trying to find the "one" then we miss out on all of the real "ones" that are already there.
 
                    Respectfully, andrea

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Soul Mates - 7/5/2006 2:24:23 AM   
irishbynature


Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline 		Julia...sometimes, it's just a matter of Karma. (Grins) This is what I think the case is for you. For others, having "One" doesn't meet their needs and they prefer more than "One" as some posts have mentioned. If "One" is what you desire, the "One" is what you shall have. And, you deserve all the happiness that brings you.
Warmly
Irish


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What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Soul Mates - 7/5/2006 3:24:43 AM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		Fast greedy bastard reply:

I'd rather have "ones' than "One"

Far more entertaining, overall.

(in reply to slavejali)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Soul Mates - 7/5/2006 6:29:24 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I believe that for every person that there is one person who is perfect for you. (I'm not going into the Laws of Karma or Past Lives here). I also believe that there are ideal people for you at each stage of your development and growth, for a period untill it is time to move on and grow some more. In both of the cases I believe there are people who can be soul mates but there is only ultimate soul mate. Such things have nothing to do with lifestyles, religion or relationships untill you are with that one person and then all things are part of this..

Just my views nothing more and nothing less....


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Soul Mates - 7/5/2006 6:48:51 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Great thread julia!

I do believe in soul mates...but I don't believe that we only have one soul mate...nor do I believe that a soul mate has to be someone we are in a romantic relationship with. I have a girlfriend who I feel is very much a soul mate...one of those kind of friends that no matter where you go in life and no matter how long the intervals are in between when you connect....the moment you are together you just pick up right where you left off. I have two male Dominants friends that are very much soul mates. There is nothing that I can't say to them and often times we know exactly what the other is thinking or going to say before the words hit the air. 

Do I think there is a "One"? A Mr. Right? Well I think I believe there is a Mr. Right-for-now. In my first relationship I didn't give much thought to lifelong commitments. It lasted three years. Then I got married and when I said those vows....I was sure it would be forever. That lasted eleven. Then I was with my last Master for another eleven. Going into each of the last two, at the point the commitment was made...yes...forever was the goal. But life has different plans for us sometimes.

I beleve that all of my relationships have deeply enriched my life. They met the needs that we had at the time that we were in them. I am still very close with all of my ex's. They were all wonderful men and the reasons we split were about circumstances and not about "us" as people.

If I have the good fortune of once again connecting with someone, I am sure that at the point of commitment....yes, forever will once again be the goal. I don't think I could commit to someone that I didn't think there would be at least the possibility of it being lifelong.  

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Soul Mates - 7/5/2006 7:00:41 AM   
impishlilhellcat


Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline 		I used to think that there was one specific soul mate for everyone out there and part of me still does, but I got to thinking if there is only one good match for every single person out there then how many people are missing that one person that just completes them. I've seen quite a few people who just pick someone that fits their basic needs not someone who makes them happy and who they enjoy being with. Maybe now I am a little bit jaded maybe reality has just kicked in. I used to think that someone else and I were meant to be together. Even through the tough times we would always find our way back to each other. When the going got tough we would lean on each. After awhile I realized that no matter what we did where we went how fate played out we were never going to be able to make it work. So I guess to answer the question I'm on the line about this yes and no I do and don't believe in soul mates.

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Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book - Unknown

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Soul Mates - 7/5/2006 7:45:36 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
No, I don't honestly believe that.  There is more than one woman for me.


Hopefully at the same time?



Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt.

Im still wondering what the big deal is.  It was like going to Disneyland.  I would not want to do it every day, although I imagine Mr. Tiny would be up for the adventure if I gave him the opportunity.

But to get back to the thread at hand.  I am not sure I agree there is, and can only be, The One.  This is despite what Morpheus has spent his entire life searching for. 

I personally think there is a connection between people.  A need to find consensus and groupings, not necessarily sexual, which runs through our species.  I have been in relationships in my life where I truly believed I had found The One.  In one case, I was in high school and she was studying to take the oral exams for her PhD.  The relationship would not work for the long haul because of  the context surrounding the relationship.  I treasure the memory of that relationship, but years later when I contacted her via e-mail (google searched her name and her field) we chatted briefly.  But again, the context of our lives precluded hooking up again.

Sometimes a person cannot get ----> there from here <------.

One can spend their entire life searching for something, but there is a Zen Koan which states "What you seek you will not find."  Of course, what I always say is that "You will always find something in the last place you look for it." 

One problem people get in to is spending their entire time looking or something better, and not paying attention to or working to build on what they already have.  I personally think that there is no such thing as a perfect match for me.  What I do believe is that it is possible to find somebody and build the perfect match for both of us.  I think that what people get out of something is directly proportional to what they put into it.

Another problem people sometimes get stuck in is fear of failure stopping them from looking at all.  If one never tries to build a shelter, one is likely to get very wet when it starts raining.

I personally think "Soul Mates" are made, not extruded from a vat of "Stuff" and handed to you by some pimply-faced teenager working at McDonalds.

Just me and I could be wrong.

Sinergy


< Message edited by Sinergy -- 7/5/2006 7:49:16 AM >

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"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Soul Mates - 7/5/2006 7:54:46 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		I am jaded in general

(in reply to impishlilhellcat)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Soul Mates - 7/5/2006 8:01:31 AM   
impishlilhellcat


Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline 		I don't think I'm generally jaded I'm too young to be skeptically about everything. Besides I love looking on thr bright side and trying to find the good in almost every situation. However jaded about soul mates probably more than likely. Then again I could have just been headed down the wrong path and really just trying to convince myself of something that fate decided just wasn't meant to be. I think I was far more into things than he was and I can't help thinking if it was meant to work out maybe some day down the road when things are right he'll find me again.

Edited to add: To go along with that shyfem is saying I once saw a poem of people that come into our lives. Each person comes in for a reason. If I can find it I'll post it but I can certainly see where shy is coming from.

< Message edited by impishlilhellcat -- 7/5/2006 8:03:08 AM >

_____________________________

Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book - Unknown

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Soul Mates - 7/5/2006 8:08:46 AM   
Eir


Posts: 118
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: Iceland
Status: offline 		Well I want to believe there is a certain someone out there for me... I have met my soulsister so why shouldn't there be a soulmate there for me?

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With best regards from the dark corners of my twisted mind

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Soul Mates - 7/5/2006 8:15:28 AM   
impishlilhellcat


Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline 		That's true I found my soul sister many years ago I guess I've never thought of it those terms.

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Soul Mates - 7/5/2006 8:35:24 AM   
WhiteRadiance


Posts: 247
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		jali-
 
awesome post! 
 
Why should having loved before devalue what you now have?  Why should you FEEL that it divides your heart? 
 
I have had intense bonds with more than one person.  I thought those relationships would last forever, but times change, people change, and certain things do not last.  But for a time, we were soul mates.
 
It seems to me that people who talk about soul mates and "the love of their lives"  are sorta like people who have strong opinions about marriage/divorce even though they have never been married. 
 
I am not going to say the one I love is my soul mate.  I am not going to claim it is forever.  I intend to love ALL the people in my life as much as I possibly can... give them as much of myself as I can give, and be grateful for the ability to do so.
 
 
 
 





But if there are two, that makes things divided and less powerful, so somewhere inside me didnt want to admit that, express that... I felt if I expressed it...it was devalue my relationship with Master...all these thoughts were running around in my moment of hesitation....and during it Master said his opinion. "Jali is the exact right person for me now, I cannot devalue my past relationships, I loved the women I was with." I hurredly agreed and added things to the conversation, taking Masters words and recognition of past relationships as permission for myself to express the same. Yet with each word I spoke, I felt more and more split, how could my heart be in two places, I began disliking the conversation very much, I felt uncomfortable and confused.

Thoughts arose in me like " Well if I'm exactly the right woman for Master right now, what happens tomorrow? I need to be the most special, the most important, the most this and that.." 'i dont want to be the exact right woman for now". I want to be the exact right woman for all time. So anyways, I'm having all these divisional thoughts which carried over to the next day. I was processing and processing them..the only way I could find some balance was to stop thinking about the past, stop thinking about the future and enjoy this moment now, the only moment my soul is alive in, is now. The only moment it can have a relationship and have a soul connection  is now...and there sits my Master..and I'm happy.

(in reply to slavejali)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Soul Mates - 7/5/2006 8:50:09 AM   
wouldlike2


Posts: 89
Joined: 9/25/2005
Status: offline 		The soul selects her own Society -
Then - shuts the Door-
To her divine Majority -
Present no more -

Unmoved - she notes the Chariots - pausing -
At her low Gate -
Unmoved - an Emporer be kneeling -
Upon her Mat -

I've known her - from an ample nation -
Choose one -
Then - close the Valves of her attention -
Like Stone -                                                       (Emily Dickinson)

a soul mate is someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as thuogh the communicating and communing that take place between us were not the product of intentional efforts, but rather a divine grace.
this kind of relationship is so important to the soul that many have said there is nothing more preciuos in life.
we may find a soul partner in many different forms of relationship - in friendship, marriage, work, play and family. it is a rare form of intimacy, but is not limited to one person or to one form.
working on the soul of a relationship requires in adition to sensitive obeservation, certain "technologies of imtimacy".
i do believe there is One outside i find this level of intimacy and hopefuly to find as friendship, marriage, play and family.. - smile -

pet


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Love arises from the mind while the body follows and reflect the soul

(in reply to WhiteRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Soul Mates - 7/5/2006 9:26:22 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Uhhh, not for me.  After a day at Disneyland, you go home.  Having more than one woman doesn't have to end, and the ticket doesn't expire.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
No, I don't honestly believe that.  There is more than one woman for me.


Hopefully at the same time?



Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt.

Im still wondering what the big deal is.  It was like going to Disneyland.

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Soul Mates - 7/5/2006 6:10:29 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Jali that was a beautiful and touching post, and an important reminder about living in the present. Your post helped me with my own thoughts, and I thank you.

(in reply to slavejali)
Profile   Post #: 60
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