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How often? curious - 12/29/2013 12:36:18 PM   
CandiDanielz


Posts: 36
Joined: 12/28/2013
Status: offline 		So after making this profile I've come across some rather interesting things that never really crossed my mind.

My boyfriend likes to be dominated every so often and I only really found out about the best world thru fifty shades of grey ((im sorry don't hurt me!!))

My question is how often do you act this out? Is it how you live your life of very minute of the day or do you have set times where you be the normal equal couple?

Sorry if I'm not making any sense
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How often? curious - 12/29/2013 12:39:47 PM   
Galacia


Posts: 60
Joined: 7/22/2013
Status: offline 		Once a night.

(in reply to CandiDanielz)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: How often? curious - 12/29/2013 12:44:27 PM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		For us, he is the boss all of the time. He has certain expectations for how I should behave, but there's not a lot of barking orders because we know each other well and things run smoothly. Most of our days are taken up with every day stuff - work, housework, errands, family stuff, hobbies etc. From the outside, you wouldn't know that we are D/s, but it is always there as the backbone of our relationship. I don't wear a collar around, he doesn't stand over me with the riding crop while I'm cooking his dinner, but I serve him in small ways by making his life better. I run his errands so he doesn't have to. I cook his favourite dishes. I make sure he always has lots of clean socks in his preferred style because he changes them about fifteen times a day....

As far as actual kinky playtime - for us it doesn't happen often! We have a toddler and rarely get a babysitter, so often we don't get chance to do elaborate scenes. Whenever we have sex there is usually a little bit of kink involved, if only a little bit of pain play or handcuffs - it's just what turns up both on.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to CandiDanielz)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How often? curious - 12/29/2013 1:09:54 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		With my late dom, I would remove all my clothes when I hit the door after work. Then I would get to do really fun stuff like cook dinner and clean the bathroom. Of course, I was naked while I did it, so I had to be a bit more careful. You really don't want to dangle a boob over a boiling pot.......

I had rules to follow, and after the first month they were routine, and natural. So, I really didn't have the girly bits thrilling thing that we had in the beginning, but it was what my Sir wanted, so that's what I did. We lived it 24/7, but it was just the way we lived our lives, it wasn't "special", it was normal.

With my sweetie - there isn't any of that. He is a sadist and not dominant, so there aren't any rules. Because I love him and am also submissive as well as masochistic, I do things that he likes or enjoys. We live rather vanilla - all except for the middle bedroom that has a spanking bench and a cross, and a rather large assortment of nasty stingy things.

I have lived 24/7, and am living very vanilla now, and one isn't better than the other. Its just different. I found the relationship that I wanted, and the way we lived evolved from there. Live is fun!

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How often? curious - 12/29/2013 3:20:34 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		We're a normal couple but he has the right to make any decision he wants to. Whether that means I need to be naked and spanked or that he wants to grill burgers instead of me making chicken and pasta.

We discuss things usually. He isn't arbitrary and uncaring. As to sex and play, we've both got some chronic health problems that can and do interfere.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How often? curious - 12/29/2013 3:49:27 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		He's the boss of me 24/7. He listens to my input but ultimately I do what he says. Always.

Sex is when he wants it, how he wants it. Same with kink.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to CandiDanielz)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How often? curious - 12/29/2013 4:05:14 PM   
shadowborn61


Posts: 143
Joined: 11/5/2013
Status: offline 		It depends on what works best for you.
Some people live it 24/7 and some only as play to spice up the bedroom and all variations in between.

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How often? curious - 12/29/2013 4:24:54 PM   
HntersToy


Posts: 56
Joined: 12/7/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CandiDanielz

So after making this profile I've come across some rather interesting things that never really crossed my mind.

My boyfriend likes to be dominated every so often and I only really found out about the best world thru fifty shades of grey ((im sorry don't hurt me!!))

My question is how often do you act this out? Is it how you live your life of very minute of the day or do you have set times where you be the normal equal couple?

Sorry if I'm not making any sense

This is embedded in me. I live my life knowing that I have an owner, I am not my own, but am owned. My feelings at times do not matter, do not count, can not be heard.....It is all about Him. And I rather like that!

(in reply to CandiDanielz)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How often? curious - 12/29/2013 4:32:38 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CandiDanielz
My question is how often do you act this out? Is it how you live your life of very minute of the day or do you have set times where you be the normal equal couple?


Honestly, there is no official way of doing this. Every couple have different lifestyle and different schedules. It is up to you and him to decide how everything will work out and suit your own lifestyle.

When I was in my full time relationship, it was kinda easy going, technically, his always the dom, and I am always the sub 24/7. But he kinda gave me control as to when I need him to be a normal boyfriend to me, by simply letting him know, "I want my boyfriend right now!" And he would switch to his vanilla mode.
Other than that, I insist that infront of friends and family, we behave completely as an equal couple.

(in reply to CandiDanielz)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How often? curious - 12/29/2013 5:01:02 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Welcome to the discussion side, Candi.

For some, D/s is only in the bedroom, and it's up to the specific couple to make the rules as to how often they get kinky.

For some it's every time they have sex, for others sex isn't even involved.

It is (unfortunately) fairly common for a male sub to initiate D/s into the relationship, and then get all greedy and want it all the time. If that's what's happening, have a conversation along the lines of you'll dom when you feel like it.

During the meantime educate yourself as much as possible.




_____________________________



(in reply to CandiDanielz)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How often? curious - 12/29/2013 6:06:52 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		The M/s protocol like proper address (Sir & Master), asking permission, the curtsy and kneeling is 24/7. Hell, she even wakes up smiling and says "yes Sir."

BDSM rituals like her sleeping chained, kissing my feet in worship and "have you had your spankings today?" are pretty much daily.

Rough S&M scenes like bloodsport, asphyxiation, needles and stuff is weekly.

Social leather activities like the public dungeon or NLA meetings are monthly or more.






_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to CandiDanielz)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How often? curious - 12/29/2013 6:42:02 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

At parties/munches and in play sessions, I'm in charge. That's four to maybe eight hours a week.

When the two of us are alone at home, I'm sorta in charge. That's maybe eight to twenty hours a week.

The rest of the time, we're at work, eating out, shopping, etc., and/or in the presence of vanillas. We're vanilla then.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How often? curious - 12/29/2013 6:51:26 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CandiDanielz

So after making this profile I've come across some rather interesting things that never really crossed my mind.

My boyfriend likes to be dominated every so often and I only really found out about the best world thru fifty shades of grey ((im sorry don't hurt me!!))

My question is how often do you act this out? Is it how you live your life of very minute of the day or do you have set times where you be the normal equal couple?

Sorry if I'm not making any sense


First, I think you need to remember that D/s and BDSM are not the same thing.

We live in a D/s relationship 24/7. He is the dominant partner, he makes the decisions and is control. I follow, obey and anticipate his needs.

BDSM is play time. While we often get little spurts here and there, figure it pretty much happens as often as we have sex.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to CandiDanielz)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How often? curious - 12/29/2013 7:24:23 PM   
shadowborn61


Posts: 143
Joined: 11/5/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

It is (unfortunately) fairly common for a male sub to initiate D/s into the relationship, and then get all greedy and want it all the time. If that's what's happening, have a conversation along the lines of you'll dom when you feel like it.



I found myself doing this in the beginning and my wife tried to accommodate me at first and that was a mistake we both made.
Now She only Doms me when and if She feels like it and it is MUCH better for both of us.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How often? curious - 12/29/2013 7:38:38 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

For some, D/s is only in the bedroom, and it's up to the specific couple to make the rules as to how often they get kinky.

For some it's every time they have sex, for others sex isn't even involved.

It is (unfortunately) fairly common for a male sub to initiate D/s into the relationship, and then get all greedy and want it all the time. If that's what's happening, have a conversation along the lines of you'll dom when you feel like it.

Isn't that the truth, give them an inch of whatever BDSM kink they're into and they want a mile. I insist that there is no such thing as part-time D/s because it's a mental frame of mind. It's no different in that sense from always being fully aware that you are married or who you belong to no matter where you are regardless of actual presence (unless your marriage is falling apart or your relationship as a couple has deteriorated).

With my sub partner, behaving like a gentleman and being attentive suffices. I'm not going to make him kneel or wear a collar when we go out in public; I don't have anything to prove to feed my ego. As far as PDA goes, I enjoy having a demonstrative partner who isn't going to wait for me to initiate everything all the time. That's for the birds.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How often? curious - 12/29/2013 7:49:22 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Both.

We're a normal couple like any other but he's also always the head of the household. He is king of the roost. His word and actions are law. It's as simple as that.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to CandiDanielz)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How often? curious - 12/29/2013 7:57:36 PM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
<snip>
I insist that there is no such thing as part-time D/s because it's a mental frame of mind. It's no different in that sense from always being fully aware that you are married or who you belong to no matter where you are regardless of actual presence...


This has been my (limited) experience too. When the D drops the D, for any significant length of time, I lose the s. Then (for me), with the D/s gone missing, any bdsm loses its power. So, while I don't want 24/7 bdsm, I do need some undercurrent of D/s 24/7 in the relationship.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How often? curious - 12/29/2013 8:29:26 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CandiDanielz

So after making this profile I've come across some rather interesting things that never really crossed my mind.

My boyfriend likes to be dominated every so often and I only really found out about the best world thru fifty shades of grey ((im sorry don't hurt me!!))

My question is how often do you act this out? Is it how you live your life of very minute of the day or do you have set times where you be the normal equal couple?

Sorry if I'm not making any sense


You're 22....you'll figure it out.

You've come this far.

Read....every day.

Honey, you're 22, you're a child...I'll offer some advice:

Find the right guy and then, when you have....do it.

If he wants to fuck an alien with 3M sandpaper attached to (your) tentacles (or his gills), and it's some sort of crazy fucked up sci fi gig, and it makes him want to get up in the morning and slay dragons for you....wear a goddamned sci fi tentacle suit.

Yeah....that's all I have to add.

(in reply to CandiDanielz)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How often? curious - 12/29/2013 8:48:43 PM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline 		Her profile says she's a fin domme looking for a "looser pig to buy her pretty things".
I'd say she already has it figured out.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How often? curious - 12/29/2013 10:06:49 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

Her profile says she's a fin domme looking for a "looser pig to buy her pretty things".
I'd say she already has it figured out.


Right then....disregard my entire previous comment then.

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 20
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