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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/7/2014 7:00:07 PM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff

I don't want someone with exactly the interests, likes and dislikes. Where is the fun in that?

LOL I'm a Niner's girl and he's a die hard Raiders fan. We have fun with that.

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/7/2014 7:03:59 PM

littlewonder

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For me, the more things in common I have with someone the better. For me personally when there are things that we do not have in common unless it's small stuff like sports or music or whatever, then I find it just causes me stress. I don't want to "debate" with someone. I don't want to argue or constantly roll my eyes or feel like I'm having to hold back with saying certain things because it might cause bad blood between us. I did that one time and one time only and never, ever again.

Thankfully Master and I share very much in common except well....sports and music.

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/7/2014 7:05:04 PM

fluffyprincess

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We enjoyed playing video games together, I liked watching movies with him, and I enjoyed the movies we watched.

But he was also a gamer on the comp, and my laptop is really old, and can't handle most games...as well as, he likes intellectual conversation, and playing strategy games, and I just couldn't do that...

So I guess I should have known to not get into a relationship with him, as he wouldn't have been happy with me anyways...

We would have been good friends...but, that won't happen, as he doesn't believe that people who once dated can be friends.

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/7/2014 7:23:35 PM

angelikaJ

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Was it really him that you enjoyed or was it just nice to have someone to hang out with and watch movies with?

There is nothing wrong with dating someone and discovering you just weren't compatible.

My concern for you is that you had been dating for 2 weeks and you seem like you invested a lot into someone you just didn't really know yet.

Being upset because he broke up with you, I understand.
Being a bit broken-hearted... 2 weeks is just not enough time to be that invested.

Be careful that you aren't settling for things you don't want, just because you feel lonely.

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/7/2014 7:29:37 PM

TieMeInKnottss

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As the one voice of dissension...I will weigh in again. I think that having common values and goals is more important than both of you liking the same music or the same food. Maybe this is my age coming through, but interests and hobbies can change, people can appreciate and enjoy things they have never liked...but values, your background, your personality...usually don't change drastically. There is a reason the saying is "never discuss politics or religion"...not "never discuss American vs European football" or (in my case) "who was the best Doctor ever "or Capt. Kirk vs. Capt Piccard"

Also...he is missing out by never staying friends with his ex's!! I am still friends with many of mine..sometimes people make better friends than lovers...it happens!

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/7/2014 7:37:46 PM

fluffyprincess

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I don't know...maybe just not being lonely. That seems to ring true of what it actually is...

As I guess I'm really not broken hearted...I haven't cried very much, barely 2 minutes of crying, maybe...and I don't feel the need to cry...

I guess I was crying because I would have enjoyed him to stay in my life, as he was something good, and he understood me, and knew my faults...and still accepted me for it. I liked things about him...and we could have been good online friends, to play games with each other. He is a good man, a kind one, he's a gentleman...which is kind of rare to find with guys my age, (early 20s).

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/7/2014 7:41:18 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff

I don't want someone with exactly the interests, likes and dislikes. Where is the fun in that?

LOL I'm a Niner's girl and he's a die hard Raiders fan. We have fun with that.

Raiders fan? So he is a masochist then. I been a Bronco fan since 1977!

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/7/2014 7:55:35 PM

tj444

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fluffyprincess
I would have enjoyed him to stay in my life

Let it go.. I used to try to be friends and stay in touch with guys from online but that just doesn't happen.. I think its a by-product of online dating.. everyone is looking for "the one" and if you aren't it they move on, they don't want to be friends and all that.. they are too focused and busy hunting for "the one".. So I just accept that people will come and go out of my life, like the tide.. accept and move forward..

jmo..

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/7/2014 8:13:14 PM

fluffyprincess

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Alright...I will move on.

This is actually the day he broke up with me...which is why I'm still so rattled about it. But, I think by tomorrow, I'll be better about it.

I'll just consider it as just another friendship that didn't work.

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/7/2014 10:20:31 PM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff

I don't want someone with exactly the interests, likes and dislikes. Where is the fun in that?

LOL I'm a Niner's girl and he's a die hard Raiders fan. We have fun with that.

Raiders fan? So he is a masochist then. I been a Bronco fan since 1977!

LOL maybe! A masochistic sadist?

But Broncos? Really?? Hmm, I'm not sure if *I* can get past that!! Shudder Shudder Shudder!

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/7/2014 10:42:24 PM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fluffyprincess

Alright...I will move on.

This is actually the day he broke up with me...which is why I'm still so rattled about it. But, I think by tomorrow, I'll be better about it.

I'll just consider it as just another friendship that didn't work.

Be glad it didn't take too much of your life.

I was crazy about someone where we had nothing in common except incredible sex and kink. We stayed n a bad relationship on and off for many years.

We called it love, but it was not.

You have to like someone for it to be love.

You don't have to have a ton in common, but I believe you need to enjoy your vanilla life together and feel as if you are friends, not just hot lovers.

Be happy to move on to find the right thing.

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/7/2014 11:20:14 PM

orgasmdenial12

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Lol, I'm seeing a guy at the moment where we are literally chalk and cheese. Nothing about us should work. There's a huge age difference, we have different hard limits - he is nothing that I would look for and, had he contacted me online, I doubt I would even have replied.

Yet the chemistry is off the wall, and we have a fantastic time together. We click brilliantly. Go figure lol.

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/7/2014 11:25:02 PM

TieMeInKnottss

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OP--maybe I missed this somewhere but how long were you dating this person? Did he express concerns throughout the relationship that he was dissatisfied? It sounds like you believed you all had some common ground.

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/8/2014 7:33:40 AM

SweetAnise

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To the OP, women and human beings in general tend to take whatever they can get out of an relationship. Women tend to be more willing to settle for less and some men will take advantage of that while others won't in your case you male partner decided to move on. You yourself knew this wasn't for you but decided to go for a swimming anyway...then you went pink (got emotionally involved) and now you're stuck on him. Sweetie...never settle for less.

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/8/2014 8:34:03 AM

fluffyprincess

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I first contacted him on December 7th I believe...we had our first meeting on the 14th...and then several dates in a row after that...then by December 24th, he asked me to be his girlfriend...

But then we didn't get to see each other until the 2nd, and that was only for a few hours as he had work...and then the last time we saw each other, was Friday, and it was an entire day...from 10am-8:30pm...

But I kind of saw the break up coming that night...and then the weekend he didn't talk to me at all...and then yesterday, bam. Broken up.

I mean, I'm lonely, but I'm not *that* lonely...I can live with being single. I have been, actually. But I just want somebody who I can love, and love me back...I want that kind of connection. I'm tired of friendships, because friendships, I can't hug them, or kiss them, or do anything I want with them...and the same in reverse...

I shouldn't have even accepted the relationship to begin with...as we both knew from the beginning it wouldn't work out.

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/8/2014 8:40:16 AM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

Lol, I'm seeing a guy at the moment where we are literally chalk and cheese. Nothing about us should work. There's a huge age difference, we have different hard limits - he is nothing that I would look for and, had he contacted me online, I doubt I would even have replied.

Yet the chemistry is off the wall, and we have a fantastic time together. We click brilliantly. Go figure lol.

You might be interested to know that some psychologists believe that online dating is a serious problem, for exactly this reason. People are attracted to things they can't put into words, don't understand, or don't expect. Online dating, by contrast, encourages people to evaluate others using easily understood but somewhat superficial criteria: weight (men), height (women), how someone looks in a couple photos (both).

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/8/2014 9:03:53 AM

anniezz338

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fluffyprincess

I mean, I'm lonely, but I'm not *that* lonely...I can live with being single. I have been, actually. But I just want somebody who I can love, and love me back...I want that kind of connection. I'm tired of friendships, because friendships, I can't hug them, or kiss them, or do anything I want with them...and the same in reverse...

fluffyprincess, we all need to love and be loved. It completes us. But it is not something we can force to happen. You are very young and have lots of time to find that special guy who is your prince charming.

People can have some nice short term relationships as well but eventually they seem kind of aimless. Go more slowly with your eyes wide open. You have a child like innocence about you that will attract ones that do not have your best interests in mind.

Good luck to you

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/8/2014 10:17:19 AM

Kana

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quote:

Has anybody ever had a relationship start out where you guys had nothing in common, but were able to find things in common, and have been able to have a good relationship?

Well funk-If I'm dating her I hope we can at least find common ground in the fact that we both like me

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/8/2014 11:19:42 AM

orgasmdenial12

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

Lol, I'm seeing a guy at the moment where we are literally chalk and cheese. Nothing about us should work. There's a huge age difference, we have different hard limits - he is nothing that I would look for and, had he contacted me online, I doubt I would even have replied.

Yet the chemistry is off the wall, and we have a fantastic time together. We click brilliantly. Go figure lol.

You might be interested to know that some psychologists believe that online dating is a serious problem, for exactly this reason. People are attracted to things they can't put into words, don't understand, or don't expect. Online dating, by contrast, encourages people to evaluate others using easily understood but somewhat superficial criteria: weight (men), height (women), how someone looks in a couple photos (both).

That's interesting, BUT, that is also a strength of online dating, I'm less likely to end up with partners who have different life goals than me. The lack of physical chemistry gives a breathing space to allow more rational decisions to be made, imo. Yeah I like this guy, and the fun is exceptional, but I do know that, due to too many differences between us, it can't ever be long term. Short term chemistry can often be at the expense of long term compatability, imo.

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/8/2014 11:53:41 AM

fluffyprincess

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Online dating helps me as I'm a plus size woman...and it's a bit harder to find guys in real life who accept me as a plus sized woman. At least online, I can sort through the men who do and don't accept me as a plus size woman, and then from there work out if they want me just for sex, or if they want something real from me.

Online dating saves time, and money, from things that really won't work out.

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