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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/8/2014 6:33:41 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

Has anybody ever had a relationship start out where you guys had nothing in common, but were able to find things in common, and have been able to have a good relationship?

Well funk-If I'm dating her I hope we can at least find common ground in the fact that we both like me

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/9/2014 11:58:31 AM

Kana

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Points above and notes I'm not the one whose drawers were around my ankles come evenings end :-)

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/9/2014 8:15:49 PM

littlewonder

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erm....that's just your imagination.

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/10/2014 12:37:34 AM

TieMeInKnottss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fluffyprincess

Online dating helps me as I'm a plus size woman...and it's a bit harder to find guys in real life who accept me as a plus sized woman. At least online, I can sort through the men who do and don't accept me as a plus size woman, and then from there work out if they want me just for sex, or if they want something real from me.

Online dating saves time, and money, from things that really won't work out.

I do understand that point...many do not understand how hard it is to " put yourself out there". It is easier when you can narrow the pool down to those who are looking for the same thing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: fluffyprincess

I first contacted him on December 7th I believe...we had our first meeting on the 14th...and then several dates in a row after that...then by December 24th, he asked me to be his girlfriend...

But then we didn't get to see each other until the 2nd, and that was only for a few hours as he had work...and then the last time we saw each other, was Friday, and it was an entire day...from 10am-8:30pm...

But I kind of saw the break up coming that night...and then the weekend he didn't talk to me at all...and then yesterday, bam. Broken up.

I mean, I'm lonely, but I'm not *that* lonely...I can live with being single. I have been, actually. But I just want somebody who I can love, and love me back...I want that kind of connection. I'm tired of friendships, because friendships, I can't hug them, or kiss them, or do anything I want with them...and the same in reverse...

I shouldn't have even accepted the relationship to begin with...as we both knew from the beginning it wouldn't work out.

This part is a little more concerning but...not uncommon with your age

... Sometimes it is better to move slowly in the beginning. Protect your heart. It is too easy to misread signals, be on different pages, get caught up in the whirlwind...early on. Until you KNOW him (his character, beliefs, faults...)...things that can only really be SEEN and PROVEN with time...you should not put your heart into it. Granted, with age and experience...you will find it easier to quickly separate the wheat from the shaft and will be able to more quickly know. Unfortunately, people are fickle early on..

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/14/2014 9:15:46 PM

fluffyprincess

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Update: We talked things through. He didn't think we had anything in common, because of the way I had acted that entire day. I was on my period, so I was in a bad mood...and my being in a bad mood and not wanting to really do anything, to him, felt more like I wasn't interested in what we were doing, (which was false).

We both lacked in communication on that day. Had we actually communicated with each other that night, and said what was bothering us and talked it out, then it wouldn't have resulted in him breaking up with me.

We're back together...and I'm having another all-day with him tomorrow. I saw him yesterday for a few hours, and us breaking up for a short time didn't change anything...we still acted around each other how we acted before he considered the break up, which was good...

I do love getting spankings from him...

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/15/2014 7:47:06 PM

littlewonder

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So what's going to happen next time you have your period and you're in a bad mood? Is he going to walk off again? Are you going to ignore him and what you both are doing again? Personally this doesn't bode well for the both of you.

I hope you both learn how to talk to each other.

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/15/2014 7:56:23 PM

angelikaJ

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This may help you communicate better:
http://www.cnvc.org/learn/nvc-foundations

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/15/2014 8:09:27 PM

fluffyprincess

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*sadsighs* Now the truth comes out.

He wants somebody to challenge him in games. That's what is important to him. I can't do that...I'm not a strategic person. I can't think quickly, or do anything strategic at all, that's not who I am...

That's what it was about the first time, and what he broke up with me again for, after spending the entire day with him again, and playing games.

I was giving up things for him...as they were important to him, and I didn't mind giving them up at all, as giving them up were better for my health...but he doesn't even want to give this relationship a try, even if I can't challenge him. If being challenged in games is important to him, he can find friends to fill that void...

But...*shrugs* I guess I'll find somebody else in the future who won't mind me not being strategic at games...or that I'm slow, (I might as well be a blond, for how dumb I am)...

I know I'm beautiful. I know I have a lot to offer, including my being extremely submissive...it's just that I felt I found a great guy my first time around, and I'm just sorry that I wasn't good enough for him...because guys like him, who are (mainly) honest and upfront about how they feel...are very rare.

He was also a gentleman...always opened up doors for me...*sighs*

I doubt we can even stay online friends...as he's never wanted to stay friends with his exes. I'm going to lose him completely it seems...and this is the worst I've felt about somebody leaving my life. Not with my family. Not with my other friends. He actually meant something to me...which is why it's hard for me to say goodbye.

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/15/2014 8:22:54 PM

littlewonder

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I'm not strategic or challenging either while Master is. He's competitive, likes sports, debates, etc...I don't. But he's not really all that upset about it. He just gets that from others in his life such as friends, hobbies and work.

It sounds like he was hoping to have a girl he could do that with. I admit I dated men like that too. They were usually the type that liked to argue or liked the struggle/fight type of sex which I just don't/can't do. It's not me.

At least he was honest about it and you found out before you two got very far.

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/15/2014 8:24:09 PM

angelikaJ

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You didn't know him.

I don't think he is the gentleman you think he is and I don't think strategy games were his main goal: he has strung you along... twice.
And you say you are going to miss him.
That is his game.

You need to find better friends.

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/15/2014 9:03:31 PM

TieMeInKnottss

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I apologize if I sound harsh BUT, I reiterate... You first contacted him on DEC 7, 2013, met face to face on DEC 14...today is JAN 15....
You are putting way too much concern, energy and importance on someone that you barely know... Most relationships need at least 4-6 months before you see the "real" person... What you need to take away from this is to NOT jump in so fast.

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/15/2014 9:35:56 PM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fluffyprincess

Online dating helps me as I'm a plus size woman...and it's a bit harder to find guys in real life who accept me as a plus sized woman. At least online, I can sort through the men who do and don't accept me as a plus size woman, and then from there work out if they want me just for sex, or if they want something real from me.

Online dating saves time, and money, from things that really won't work out.

Actually, I disagree. I like meeting men just wandering in the world, I met all my long term relationships not from online and I am plus sized.

This way men see you.for real.

I don't believe you can sort through or know if a guy will be interested in you unless his profile states he likes plus size or he hates fat chicks.

And then there are the guys who will read what you wrote, and hit on you because they have this view that plus size women are desperate.

The best thing for you is to be confident, that is most attractive.

P.s. Online, the terms BBW and plus size run the perception gamut from size 10 to super size. It is subjective.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 1/15/2014 9:37:42 PM >

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/16/2014 12:13:53 AM

fluffyprincess

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You're right.

Maybe what I need is just a cuddle buddy...or I guess a friend with benefits? I just don't know. I don't want sex with somebody I'm not in a relationship with...*sighs*

Maybe I also will need to date somebody slightly older, rather than somebody slightly younger...that way, there is a chance that they have their head together better than I do...

I am very much a Little...and very submissive. I'll need to find somebody who doesn't see my being slow as a weakness, but something that they admire, or find cute...

I think I just need to take a break for a few months, not look for anything...just get settled back into being single for awhile...then maybe try dating again...

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/16/2014 4:58:05 AM

SweetAnise

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fluffyprincess you are a beautiful woman. Find some value in yourself. Do not chase anyone it doesn't matter who or how old they are. You must find your own worth. Even if you are a submissive and a little- you owe it to yourself to not be taken for a ride. Love you before you put yourself out there to love, like, or play with someone else.

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/16/2014 7:48:00 AM

angelikaJ

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If you aren't good at strategy games, it just means your brain isn't wired that way.
It does not mean you are slow or dumb.

Just because he open doors does not mean he is necessarily a "gentleman".

I think you need to raise your standards... a lot.

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/16/2014 8:29:51 AM

fluffyprincess

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I know I'm a beautiful woman, and that I have worth...I'm just doing all of the stupid things because I'm new to dating. lol.

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/16/2014 9:48:46 AM

angelikaJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fluffyprincess

I know I'm a beautiful woman, and that I have worth...I'm just doing all of the stupid things because I'm new to dating. lol.

Then why do you allow yourself to fall quickly for jerks?

That is not a matter of being inexperienced in dating.
That is having poor judgement and personal boundaries.

I am not being mean.
There is no ill will intended, but you are behaving like a lost puppy who is happy to settle for any scraps anyone throws your way.

You may be a little.
You may want a daddy.

But you need to not just intellectually know you have worth, but feel you have worth.
Your recent behavior is not supporting that.

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/16/2014 3:58:19 PM

kalikshama

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I have a very high IQ and an extensive vocabulary, but I suck at crossword puzzles, which dismays my father, but who cares?

I like tennis, but had to stop playing with my ex-husband because he was way too competitive.

Now I'm thinking about subs/slaves and competitiveness and have started a poll:

Poll regarding submissive/slave types and competitiveness

< Message edited by kalikshama -- 1/16/2014 4:13:48 PM >

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/16/2014 9:29:54 PM

MalcolmNathaniel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fluffyprincess
I was on my period,

I hate to interrupt the love fest going on here, but that is never an excuse. It may be the reason, but it's not an excuse.

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RE: Having nothing in common with the person you're dating - 1/16/2014 9:55:31 PM

fluffyprincess

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I think the holidays influenced my decisions...it was December, the time where everybody is pretty much depressed...might have also been his reasoning, too.

I don't always make smart decisions for myself...as I don't think them through fully before making a decision.

I know you're not being mean, it's not coming across that way. You're trying to help me.

I made the mistake of accepting to be his girlfriend when we had only known each other for a few weeks, when I should have just said we should start off as friends...I know what I did wrong after that, and I won't repeat the same mistakes I made again...

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