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Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/16/2014 9:28:59 AM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
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Ladies: I've noticed more 'catfishing', that is, trolls masquerading as desirable potential subs, then after engaging in conversation, disappear.
And not just the 'hitting the keyboard with their semi-erections', but with sophisticated profiles and responses.
Of course, once they're caught in their lies or have to do a task or meet in real-life, they're gone, but it's still an annoying waste of time, and demeaning to truly good men.

Anyone else? Or just me? Either way: le sigh!
Thanks.

_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

Post #: 1

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/16/2014 10:29:08 AM

FriendlyMuppet

Posts: 171
Joined: 11/16/2010
From: Corpus Christi, Texas
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That seems like such a waste of time to me. There are enough of us out there actually trying to find someone to connect with that I can't even fathom someone dong this just for kicks. Yeah, I understand they do, but it still baffles me that they actually succeed in creating as much cognitive dissonance as they do.

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RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/16/2014 10:41:01 AM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Sigh, yes, I agree with the first part.
But I don't think it's cognitive dissonance as much as equal parts ass-hattery, dickishness, cowardice, misogyny and sociopathy, i.e., trolls. Some of them have literally nothing else to do than sit in their momma's basements, weaving elaborate Grimm-level fantasies as rub their uncut semi's amidst their Jabba-esque folds.
My favourite is a woman threatened to send a man's unsolicited dick-pic to his momma: he cwied like the terrible toddler he was and begged her not to do what he had done to her.

As long as they know their feces-slinging just throws them into glorious contrast with weal twue subs, making good men that much more gorgeous, inside and out.
To all you lovely subbies out there, mwah!

_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

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RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/16/2014 12:21:44 PM

SpyUnderCover

Posts: 208
Joined: 6/21/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

Ladies: I've noticed more 'catfishing', that is, trolls masquerading as desirable potential subs, then after engaging in conversation, disappear.
And not just the 'hitting the keyboard with their semi-erections', but with sophisticated profiles and responses.
Of course, once they're caught in their lies or have to do a task or meet in real-life, they're gone, but it's still an annoying waste of time, and demeaning to truly good men.

Anyone else? Or just me? Either way: le sigh!
Thanks.

Not just you. I've experienced those disappearing acts more times than I can count. It can be very discouraging. Some might just be too chicken to follow through. Others I think are playing a number of women simultaneously, finally taking up with one of them and "disappearing" on the rest. It's amazing how many guys disappear, then pop back up again six or eight weeks later, acting like nothing's wrong and hoping to take up where we left off.

It's good to see you posting again, Tantriqu.

Spy

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Post #: 4

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/16/2014 1:26:11 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Thanks very much for the reply and good wishes, Spy. Three in a row without meeting seemed more than coincidence!

_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

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RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/16/2014 1:53:42 PM

MsMJAY

Posts: 515
Joined: 3/17/2013
Status: offline

It is not just you. I have noticed the same thing. So much so that I decided to just "take a breather" from searching all together. I realized that I was running across so many catfish that it was beginning to effect my own attitude when meeting potential subs. That's not fair to the good guys out there or to me. So I just cleared my profile for awhile and put "not searching." I think it helps to take periodic breaks from searching and meeting people online. The whole thing can be a bit exhausting after awhile.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

Ladies: I've noticed more 'catfishing', that is, trolls masquerading as desirable potential subs, then after engaging in conversation, disappear.
And not just the 'hitting the keyboard with their semi-erections', but with sophisticated profiles and responses.
Of course, once they're caught in their lies or have to do a task or meet in real-life, they're gone, but it's still an annoying waste of time, and demeaning to truly good men.

Anyone else? Or just me? Either way: le sigh!
Thanks.

(in reply to Tantriqu)

Post #: 6

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/16/2014 2:30:48 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Thank you, I did the same last year, hence lack of posts. A shame many good men and a good site suffer because of a few nutbars.

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"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

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RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/16/2014 2:56:53 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

Ladies: I've noticed more 'catfishing', that is, trolls masquerading as desirable potential subs, then after engaging in conversation, disappear.

Yeah, that's happened to me a couple different guys in the recent past. I guess I should just be glad they disappeared and went POOF!! One of them really went POOF! His profile is no longer in existence. haha

NBMG

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RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/17/2014 9:52:27 AM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Thanks, Ladies! Important that subs and the site know what's going on.

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"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

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RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/17/2014 3:36:56 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

Ladies: I've noticed more 'catfishing', that is, trolls masquerading as desirable potential subs, then after engaging in conversation, disappear.
And not just the 'hitting the keyboard with their semi-erections', but with sophisticated profiles and responses.
Of course, once they're caught in their lies or have to do a task or meet in real-life, they're gone, but it's still an annoying waste of time, and demeaning to truly good men.

Anyone else? Or just me? Either way: le sigh!
Thanks.

Can't say I've run across this yet, but thanks for the heads-up. I thought this phenomenon was limited to guys on both sides of the kneel who run across an epidemic of fake women's profiles abounding.

This isn't to say there aren't males out there only looking for kicks, wanting IM chats, and who troll around for females to do cam sessions (for free or not). I don't go there, so none of that applies to me.

Can't say I've ever been stood up before either by any man before (which would piss me off to no end), but that might be because I'm so choosy, most subs don't make it that far along for me to consent to meet them.

For speculation's sake, these must be vanilla fantasist wankers looking for an ego boost and/or newbies who are too scared sh!tless to follow through.

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RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/17/2014 3:58:24 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

yep, I understand good virginal men getting cold feet and disappearing, and likewise don't feed the porn addicts with cams or other wank fodder, and no, not going to alter the screening process or waive standards.
Still, it's beyond wankers, and I think a few of us had been targeted by a now-banned ex-poster on the boards, so in case there were some Dommes who didn't know, it's important to get the word out.
So yes, get miffed [think Lady Hulk] at the lost time/energy and expectation, and the thought of being catfished, but can't give 'em that satisfaction. Don't want to waste the precious bodily essence that way, either!
Just too bad they forge more hoops good men need to jump through to prove they're not weasels
It's important both subs and Dommes know who's out there and what they'll do, but also ways to defeat 'em.
Good luck to all!

_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

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RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/17/2014 5:07:10 PM

shadowborn61

Posts: 143
Joined: 11/5/2013
Status: offline

It just makes it that much harder for those of us who are truly looking to find a Dominant to serve.
i imagine the same thing happens to Doms as well.

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RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/17/2014 8:03:30 PM

Alex8897

Posts: 11
Joined: 1/16/2014
Status: offline

I understand were all you Mistress are coming from. There will always be trolls on both sides either playing with you or trying to scam you, unfortunately they give make good Subs and good Dommes, like you ladies, look bad. I am knew to the whole BDSM world and have already almost been burned three times. One of which was a Russian trying to get money to get into the US. The other two I got two separate emails from the Mistresses at different times and the emails were nearly identical. After talking to them more they wouldn't Skype or face time me they just wanted money, around $650 for training and gear. I understand it costs money but I can't give money away only knowing someone for a week especially if I don't know what they really look like because I can't talk face to face with them, whether its in person or Skype. To me a Mistress can't start a relationship with me by ordering me to do things and give them money right off the bat. If I want to be in a relationship with someone I feel like you need to build a foundation of trust. There will always be the assholes that make everything harder its just something we all have to deal with and get over it.

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RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/18/2014 7:04:27 AM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

No, asking for money is obvious. The time-suck and would-be psychological scams are more subtle!

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"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

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Post #: 14

RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/18/2014 12:39:08 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

I haven't had one that disappeared, though I wish some would. What I have seen is the smooth ones... the ones that know how to talk, do it well and present well, are typically married, attached, have multiple profiles that are dom, switch, sub and slave and are playing numerous women. Some of them 'travel' lol and always have a ready excuse as to why they cannot do one thing or another, mothers... man, those poor ladies end up in more hospitals than I do... and some will meet, try to get what they can or show how upset they are when you actually refuse to trade yourself or services.

I tend to keep them online, by phone and messenger long enough to get the ready beavers in a hurry, out of my real life, until I know something. The one's that get me are the ones that you don't do anything sexual or kinky with, they learn you and know what to say and do so for months, even a year and then... you find opportunity to meet and they have a wife. Found the wedding of one that actually came to visit after a long time of talking and presenting here on the forums as a single man for years. That's okay, because she and I became good friends.

I scare most of them off within a week, but some do slip by. I've learned some pretty good investigative skills too... so the answer is... US. I'm not hungry, don't get into too much of a hurry, don't give too much of myself and stopped telling people right off what my medical issues are. I tell them right away that I have some, but I don't give private and too personal things right off because that felt more like an emotional raping than anything else they could do.

On the other hand... I have gotten to know some of the most wonderful men, that could not work out because of our situations. Not being able to move or having family ties that bound us, etc. Some have been dropping by year after year of my being here. There are good ones out there, they are just far fewer than the bad ones. Everyone seems to think that dominant women are in demand and there are more submissive men than dominant women. I disagree! There are far more kinky men that wish to play bottom, get kinky and wish to play multiple partners and try them out seeing how it flows, than there are actual submissive men.

Boy have I seen some cat fights through the years, over the good ones. I just laugh, stand back and watch as no man is worth a cat fight or drama in my little world. Have at it.

You can tell when a man is really interested in YOU. Look for those signs and have ready tests to see if they are men of action or men of words. I have one test that has only failed me once and he was the married one and a sociopath.

(in reply to Tantriqu)

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RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/18/2014 12:44:58 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Thank you, Lockit, for your time and prose [two of my Dommely tests for prospective subs, btw ;-) ]
A sad but lovely dissertation, including on Dommes vs. do-me married bottoms.

Good luck to all the good 'uns, including us!

_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

(in reply to Rawni)

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RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/18/2014 12:51:17 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

Hmmm, I've never been one to spend more time on something than need be so if I chat with someone, I like them, let's meet.
That's the easiest way to know a person, seeing them face to face. I get the online offers, I might accept or decline, who knows...but my primary objective is real time so why drag it out into online conversations that span for years before the fun begins? No, thank you!

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RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/18/2014 1:16:21 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

Why drag it out? You are correct. However, it doesn't take long online to figure a few things out. I would rather sit from the comfort of my home and dig until I know whether they are worth the time to meet. The average is one to three weeks. I used to have to consider my son, adult and brain damaged and that was no easy task finding someone that he could be with safely while I met men. Now, I am free to meet... but I would rather write and work on my life.

The only one's I have had long term online dealings with were not local and had jobs that they couldn't just up and walk from or other responsibilities. Even then... we talk... we don't have anything going other than that and I invest what I wish to.

Out of all the men I have met... there were only a few I would go further with and much to a couples dismay... that didn't get them between my legs. In fact, I have never played seriously and given myself to anyone I have met from here. I do much better in person to start with.

I guess it depends on what you want. If you like casual play... meet them quickly... there will be a large percentage of men willing to do that. I want the uncommon type.

(in reply to GoddessManko)

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RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/18/2014 2:04:13 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
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Edited to add: reply to Manko:
Then I'll specify for lifestyle Dommes.
For me, as with most women, the more times you Take a man, the better the sex becomes. Pay-for-play, do-me married bottoms and one-night stands can be had for a dime-a-dozen on here, as well as the worst sex; I'm not interested; a better and safer time can be had with a vibe and a memory.
But the thrill of meeting a sexually compatible and interesting single sub, which yes, I've achieved several times from here and why I'm here again: meYOW!

_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

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RE: Ladies: more catfishing against Dommes? - 1/18/2014 9:27:47 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Many colleges are still on winter break. So lots of curious young males at home with nothing to do.

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Post #: 20

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