RE: Embarrassed but need help

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MisterP61 -> RE: Embarrassed but need help (1/16/2014 6:57:41 PM)
HAHA Rawni... got My post in there first [8D]

LadyPact -> RE: Embarrassed but need help (1/16/2014 6:57:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rawni quote: ORIGINAL: Blueswordsman quote: ORIGINAL: MisterP61 quote: ORIGINAL: Sirsswtsub I did get him off twice but I could tell he was not really enjoying it. He must be a dam good actor to have gotten off twice on a "bad" blow job. Just sayin. How does a man fake two orgasms? I really could use the advise You're missing the real point. He came. How did he fake that the blow job was bad, if he came? He must be a good actor. Yeah. In her mouth. OP, rock on with your bad self and keep doing what you do!

Rawni -> RE: Embarrassed but need help (1/16/2014 7:03:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MisterP61 HAHA Rawni... got My post in there first [8D] Dear powers that be... I nearly spit when I saw that! Though I am not sure whether it was what you said or what I thought. I'm thinking, I should keep my thoughts to myself on this one, but damn... it sure mad me laugh. [:D]

MisterP61 -> RE: Embarrassed but need help (1/16/2014 7:06:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rawni quote: ORIGINAL: MisterP61 HAHA Rawni... got My post in there first [8D] Dear powers that be... I nearly spit when I saw that! Though I am not sure whether it was what you said or what I thought. I'm thinking, I should keep my thoughts to myself on this one, but damn... it sure mad me laugh. [:D] OK yeah I see where that can be a little.... racy. Not how I meant it, but to clarify. That is a feat for Me. You have not had the pleasure (agony) of watching Me type[:)]. To the OP... what LadyPact said. you keep on with your bad self.

windchymes -> RE: Embarrassed but need help (1/16/2014 7:18:25 PM)
Bananas get peeled first, right?

peppermint -> RE: Embarrassed but need help (1/16/2014 7:35:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sirsswtsub I am embarrassed to be even posting this but I so badly need assistance. If any one could give me some tips it would be great. You can also private message me about it as well. Thanks Sirswtsub My late husband always said I gave lousy blow jobs. I guess I could not compare with the hookers he hired in NYC while a horny teen in the Navy. He never could tell me what they did that he loved so much. In fact, he never told me what I did right or wrong. Gary is much different. He says the worst blow job he ever got was fantastic!! He actually tells me when I'm doing something he particularly likes. When we first met he also told me about something he wanted done a little differently. We communicated. What a difference communication makes. Now if I were with a guy who came twice while I gave him a blow job I would think that his body was saying he enjoyed it very much. Unless of course, the whole time he was telling you that you were doing it all wrong. If he is unable and unwilling to tell you what he likes then it is just a guessing game on your part. He might be like my husband. He might be waiting for you to read his mind and give him a blow job like the one he got from a hooker when he was a horny teenager.

tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Embarrassed but need help (1/16/2014 7:38:23 PM)
Aaaand there's the reason why I only eat bananas by myself or with MM at home. [:D]

SeekingTrinity -> RE: Embarrassed but need help (1/16/2014 7:59:59 PM)
~FRing it~ OP, the only bad blowjob is the one where you are flossing his peeled weenie skin out from between your teeth. Short of that, dude got off twice and should either offer quality advice on how to improve or shut his yammering word hole and be appreciative of what he got [:)] Me personally, Id have already known before it even got there your lack of recent experience due to conversations we would have had prior to that particular level of intimacy taking place. I pay attention to little things like that. Which is good because it would clue me in that the right way to do things would be soldier on if it wasn't all that and build up your confidence so that you'd feel inspired to improve...not sickened that you disappointed me in some way. While it's true that I lack a penis, I don't have to have one to effectively read someone and know the proper steps to encourage a person to build themselves up without my having to tear them down.

SweetAnise -> RE: Embarrassed but need help (1/16/2014 8:15:33 PM)
To the OP Tips for BJ's...next time ask him what he likes. No one here is going to judge you. You're an adult and you just need to practice more and become more proficient as a lover. Since you said you are going to meet him again...it would be a perfect time to talk about it. What you do behind closed doors or in the back of cars is on you. The fact that you believe you will be judged is just that little finger judging yourself. Be safe.

Sirsswtsub -> RE: Embarrassed but need help (1/16/2014 8:25:50 PM)
Thanks every one really I really am taking to heart all that you are saying and we are going to talk about it more tonight when we get the chance. I think him and I were both lacking in the communication department.

Rawni -> RE: Embarrassed but need help (1/16/2014 8:27:48 PM)
The problem here isn't the horrible blow job skills. It is the horrible dom that had no skills, that didn't know her enough or care enough to assure she was comfortable and respected and went out of his way to disrespect her then and later, who fails to communicate and sets her up to fail. AND... A young woman allowing a horrible dom to treat her that way and deflect it back upon herself. Why is he horrible? How do I know? Well it isn't rocket science how women get treated and apparently this wasn't HER kink or she would be telling us how wonderful it felt to be degraded, used and humiliated. NO... she wants to learn to do it better to please a man that isn't giving her anything close to what she is worth. From the meet, to the sucky, to the time she got home and talked to him again, he failed to comfort, assure and communicate. Does a dom need to do some of these things? Well, the dom that wants to value and keep a submissive will, especially when things are new, on a first meeting, before limits may be set, etc. The guy was blow hard stupid and she let him beat her up with it.

LafayetteLady -> RE: Embarrassed but need help (1/16/2014 10:50:33 PM)
You spent three months talking, yet the two of you have problems communicating? What did you talk about all those months? You said you were the one who wanted to wait for face to face to be sure he was worth your time. It seems apparent that he/you decided he should be referred to as "sir," didn't you talk about each of your expectaions, wants, needs, desires? Didn't you spend all that time talking about your lives? Didn't you discuss that you hadn't been in a relationship for seven years and were nervous? After all, wasn't he curious as to why you put off a ace to face meet for so long? Or did just spend that time telling you what he expected of a submissive? Sorry, OP, but you hopped in the back seat and sucked his dick out of desperation and the worry that the face to face wasn't going to develope into a relationship. And he, being a horny guy, let you. If he was worth a shit as a dominant, or even a man, and was serious about a relationship, he would have taken the time to make you comfortable. Instead he cums twice and then critiques you oral sex skills. How are you going to feel when he tells you that you need to learn how to have intercourse properly? Or that you don't respond to anything he does correctly? How much are YOU willing to tolerate to be in a relationship? How much are you willing to invest in someone who isn't going to help you regain your self esteem but instead break you down further and then likely screw around on you and use the excuse that as the dominantt he has the right and call it being "poly?" And when he finds someone else, you will be worse off than before you met him and spend another seven years trying to put the pieces of your life back together. Or you will be so broken, you will continue to allow him to treat you like shit because you don't think you can get anyone else. You need to be your own advocate, and make sure YOUR. Needs are going to be met in any relationship you are in. D/s isn't all about the dominant, no matter what anyone tells you. If YOU. Aren't getting fufillment from the relationship and he's doing nothing to remedy that, then all you are is a fuck toy. Nothing more than a bunch of holes to be used regardless of your satisfaction. Granted there are those that enjoy that kind of thing, but franly, your posts don't paint you as someone who does. Absolutely NO ONE who responded to you has said HIS behavior was ok. While most of us wouldn't hop in the back seat of a car and suck a guy off (twice) on a first meet, we haven't judged YOU for that. We have judged his behavior as you described it. His behaviour was that of a jerk. Yoou say that you have read all our responses and it has given you much to think about. Literally every single person has indicated that you oral sex skills can't be bad if he got off twice. Have you considered that? have you asked him why, if you need so much practice, you managed to suck him to orgasm two times? Has he indicated that he will usually get off a dozen times from a blow job and that's why you just don't measure up to his standards? I'm really curious to know how many times he thinnks you should be able to bring him to orgasm while sucking his dick. We all would really like to see you recognize YOUR value and worth, which is more than this guy seems to be capable of.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Embarrassed but need help (1/17/2014 1:20:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sirsswtsub Wow so many responses! Thanks for all the advice. Its a complicated situation but the reason we waited so long to meet was really all me. I wanted to wait. As for the back seat? well based on some of the feedback I have received I do no feel like being judged any more so I am just going to say its complicated and not get in to details. I think this is going to come down to communication with him about his needs and be being more secure with my self and my abilities. Sweetie, people aren't judging you, they're showing concern for you. If your post had sounded happy and excited that you had this encounter, no one would have been bothered about the back seat of the car thing. You're a grown woman who can have sex as much as she likes and wherever takes her fancy. But your post was full of hints that you're feeling insecure about the whole thing. In your very first post you mentioned twice that you don't want to be judged - that suggests you're not totally comfortable with your actions yourself. You were nervous because you haven't had sex in a long time. You were nervous about meeting this guy. You were totally devastated by the thought that your blow jobs might not have been perfect, which implies that you fear you will be discarded if you're not a sex-goddess and/or that your value is totally based on your sexual performance. The fact that this guy was critical of your technique, or at least didn't reassure you, despite having two orgasms, and the fact that he knew you were nervous about meeting but got in the backseat with you the very first time, make posters here think that he is more interested in his penis than your wellbeing. A number of older women (older than the OP folks, I'm not calling you all old!) with a lot more life and relationship experience than you have come in here and suggested you were putting out because you felt you had no choice and that his actions don't speak of someone invested in making you feel secure and happy in the relationship. That's what their life experience has told them, and they're mentioning this to you as a kindness. Not to judge you, but to make you think about whether this is what you really want. They are reading between the lines of what you have told them. Now of course, we don't have all the facts and we could be misreading it. But you come off as very low confidence, which sets you up as a prime candidate to do things for approval rather than because you want to. Please take the advice here in the same way you would take it from a big sister - they're not judging you, they're on your side. Some of them don't mince their words. I'd be surprised if there isn't a grain of truth in what they say.

Blueswordsman -> RE: Embarrassed but need help (1/17/2014 3:51:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sirsswtsub "I did get him off twice" "in the back seat of a car" Sirswtsub If you got the guy off twice in the back seat of a car... Your oral skills are outstanding. That is incredible! How many times in his life do you think he came twice? Especially in the back seat of a car.

Greta75 -> RE: Embarrassed but need help (1/17/2014 5:20:12 AM)
Everyone gave such great advice. He did cum twice, so his full of BS if he didn't enjoy it and you didn't do a good job. You did a great job! I hope more men could come in here to verify that if they can cum twice from a female's BJing, that's pretty awesome, she is pretty awesome! And frankly, I wouldn't waste my time on any guy who cannot articulate exactly how he likes his blowjob. Waste of time trying to figure out what he wants when he doesn't even know what he wants. And the only thing I don't get is practicing with dildo, banana, whatever! No matter how you practice with non-reactive, non-living objects, it's not gonna make a difference. Because every man is different. Some like it gentle, some like it hard. I always ask a man how he likes his blowjobs wwaaayyy before hand. In my experience, it can be night and day, what 2 different men want, especially on the correct pressure. My x-husband used to complain I blow him too hard, that I was too rough and basically, he made me feel like what this dude did, AS IF I gave bad blowjob, but he always cummed anyway and whatever his silly complains, I could always make him go from limp to hard, in my mouth to cumming, so to me, his just full of it. Then my x-dom always told me, harder, and rougher, he likes it even a little painful, my x-dom was great, he always directs me to his ideal pressure and then shower praise, and that in my opinion was what this dom dude should have done for you. And then sometime last year, I blowed a guy who now has become a regular sex partner, the way I would if I was gonna blow my x-husband, zero pressure, super gentle licks, and he said he had the best orgasm ever, but he did give me a hint that he liked the licking slow and leisured, and I took that as a hint that he likes it gentle and figured him out right, and I know the next guy and the next guy, it's all gonna be different, they are all gonna want different things. I just want to share so that you know that you didn't do a bad job! You did hell of a great job! You should not allow him to put you down! And even if he didn't cum, don't try to blame yourself for it, as you cannot read his mind on how he wants it. It's still his fault for not directing you to do it correctly for him. And as a dom who is suppose to be a leader, he should have lead you better. Including how to blow him properly to his satisfaction. I think he has failed at that and tried you blame you! I hate doms who set up their subs to fail, and then make them feel bad about it, and that is a classic example.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Embarrassed but need help (1/17/2014 5:24:02 AM)
This: quote: ORIGINAL: Rawni The problem here isn't the horrible blow job skills. It is the horrible dom that had no skills, that didn't know her enough or care enough to assure she was comfortable and respected and went out of his way to disrespect her then and later, who fails to communicate and sets her up to fail. AND... A young woman allowing a horrible dom to treat her that way and deflect it back upon herself. Why is he horrible? How do I know? Well it isn't rocket science how women get treated and apparently this wasn't HER kink or she would be telling us how wonderful it felt to be degraded, used and humiliated. NO... she wants to learn to do it better to please a man that isn't giving her anything close to what she is worth. From the meet, to the sucky, to the time she got home and talked to him again, he failed to comfort, assure and communicate. Does a dom need to do some of these things? Well, the dom that wants to value and keep a submissive will, especially when things are new, on a first meeting, before limits may be set, etc. The guy was blow hard stupid and she let him beat her up with it. Please realize OP, I wasn't judging you, except on your lack of self-esteem. I was most definitely judging him on his ungentlemanly and very undom like behavior. Please answer these questions for me: Did he suggest you use protection? Or did he expect a bareback BJ on the first meet? How careful was he when he came to make sure you weren't exposed to anything he may have? Did you get off? I asked that one before, because I think it's very important. Is he married? Is this why it's all so 'complicated?' (I can't think of any other reason why you two would have to have your first sexual experience in the back of a car.)

orgasmdenial12 -> RE: Embarrassed but need help (1/17/2014 9:13:15 AM)
Wow this whole thread is so sex negative. I must have missed the part where the OP asked how to get him to promise eternal committment and marry her, cause I thought she was asking for advice about blowjobs and not a lecture about promiscuity.

Winterapple -> RE: Embarrassed but need helps (1/17/2014 9:14:08 AM)
FR If I knew an actual woman who actually had this experience I wouldn't judge her. I would be concerned for her. I'd also wonder where this car was parked during this interlude. Because if it was on public property she ran the risk of getting arrested. Granted a lot of people get off on that kind of risk. But it's probably better to run that risk when in a relationship not with a stranger. Getting arrested for indecent exposure could lead to getting ones name put on a sex criminal list. And I doubt even those who have streetwalker fantasies really want to be arrested for suspicion of prostitution. Fellatio pointers would seem to be the least of the concerns here. But what the hell. Practicing on a banana sounds like tips from Cosmo or some other full of shit magazine. Not reality based. You learn how to perform fellatio by performing it on actual human beings that have a penis. Unlike toys and bananas cocks are living things attached to living beings. They are all different and respond to different things. It's probably a good idea to develop your skills in a private place where you aren't in danger of the cops beating on the window. And it's helpful to do it when you are turned on and excited to do it not because you think you have to do it. Desperate blow jobs probably aren't the best quality.

DesFIP -> RE: Embarrassed but need helps (1/17/2014 9:21:09 AM)
You had sex on the first meet. I hope to God he came from his doctor's with a copy of his latest std scan for you to see. You do know you can get oral cancer from oral sex? Beyond that, he's a creep. The Man knew I hadn't had sex in over five years and that I hadn't given a blow job in a lot longer than that. He was appreciative and responsive and encouraging. Putting me down when I was already nervous would have served no purpose. Raising me up and making me feel that he was safe to continue with showed him to be a good guy. I'd tell this dude that you're planning to meet and practice on someone else in the future.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Embarrassed but need help (1/17/2014 10:03:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12 Wow this whole thread is so sex negative. I must have missed the part where the OP asked how to get him to promise eternal committment and marry her, cause I thought she was asking for advice about blowjobs and not a lecture about promiscuity. It's not about being sex negative, you don't seem to get that. It's not even about blowjobs and how good she is or isn't. It's about the way this man went about it, and the way this woman let him get away with it. I'm at a loss for how that's not clear. I had sex with Himself the first time I met him. Since he was in Alaska and I was in NC, we couldn't meet for coffee. He decided to move down here to date me. I met him at the airport and we locked lips until we finally (somehow) got to the hotel he'd booked. It happened in a king sized bed in a gorgeous hotel. We then drove to the mountains and spent a week together in a cabin he'd rented for us. A huge place with 3 bedrooms, a wonderful fireplace and a deck overlooking a ravine that was out of this world. Let's just say we made use of all of the bedrooms. And he showed me he knew how to get a woman off, in more than one way. Now attempt to contrast that with this situation. The man wanted sex, made no arrangements (good or bad) for it, ended up in the back of a car like some horny teen, and after coming twice told the OP she should 'practice.' Can you really not see the man is a dickhead and the woman has low self esteem? I just checked your profile, you're 35 years old. I admit I'm at a loss as to how anyone can't see what happened, at least based on what info we have. And BTW: I bet good virtual money the man is married or attached as well.

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