hizgeorgiapeach
Posts: 1672
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Crappy - please, Don't make me Laugh while I'm Swallowing! (Do you have Any idea how Painful it is to have carbonated anything spurt through the sinuses and out the nose??? Yes, I know, I'm a maso, I shouldn't complain about a little pain, right?)
As for the OP -
Answering or not answering email has several factors to be considered. What sort of mood am I in? How much time do I have at that particular moment to devote to answering? How much attention did the person pay to what is said in my profile and journal entries? Was their email a one line waste of my time, so full of typos that I need a translation specialist, or flat out rude to ME? Am I already in a relationship where my mail is screened by my partner for applicability and content? (Not something I would ever personally allow, yet something which appears to be rather common.) When I read the person's profile before answering, is there a point of connection felt on MY side of things? If I recognize the ID from forum participation, did I generally agree or disagree with the majority of what I have read from them? This is all assuming, of course, that it wasn't simply dumped into my Bulk folder due to my email preferences having been set against the particular subset of person emailing me. (If it was, it's doubtful that I'll even See it. If I do happen to check bulk and read what's in there - not something I do very often - it's even more doubtful that I'll bother to answer. That's what bulk preferences are for - to weed out those with whom we have no desire to interact on a personal level.)
Dv8, you're attempting to put all the responcibility off on one particular subset. It doesn't belong there. Social Grace and Manners while face to face are learned responces, and they have little to do with a venue which deals specifically from a distance. Manners (social conventions) are also rather varied by location - what is considered "good manners" in England holds little sway here in the US except in certain portions of rather formal high society on the East Coast. There are things which are considered Good Manners (and a sign of hospitality and respect) in the South which are completely unheard of in the North or West Coast. The reverse is also true by location. You made the comment that you were introduced to BDSM activities in San Franscico, and that submissives were taught how they were expected to act. I was introduced to things in OKlahoma - where both submissives AND DOMINANTS were taught what was considered Acceptable behavior within the scene, as were those who identify as Tops or Bottoms (rather than by a power dynamic designation). None of those expectations taught, regardless of subgroup, included such things as a submissive or bottom being expected to maintain a Higher standard - or to automatically assume that someone was X because they called themselves X.
The internet didn't exist at that point in time - there were no BDSM websites, chatrooms, dating sites, etc ad nauseum. Hell, chatrooms hadn't yet come into existance at all, and Email (per se) was in it's infant stages and only really available to certain portions of the government and educational unix systems. When email DID become available, it was on a local only level, through bullatin board systems - still no where near the internet as we know it today. (Yes, I'm a virtual dinosuar in a virtual world - somewhere in my attic is the C-64 and it's 300 and 1200 baud external modems that I used "back in the day" moldering and collecting dust.) We (subs, slaves, bottoms, or even dominants and tops) weren't taught any sort of "expectations" about how to deal (or not deal) with email. It simply wasn't considered that such fell under the pervue of the Scene. To a large extent, I Still don't see that it falls anywhere under the pervue of the scene!
The point in all this? Quite simply, it's that there are no set protocols that are in effect everywhere. Such is a myth of the electronic age and hopped up egos maintaining completely unrealistic expectations of the world around them. My suggestion? Leave those things which have nothing at all to do with BDSM where they belong - on the doorstep of humanity at large - and concentrate on what IS in the pervue of BDSM. Namely floggers, whips, paddles, wax and fire play, chains, and fetishes of all sorts.
_____________________________
Rhi
Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Essential Scentsations
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RE: Grace and Manners - 
Profile
Your world and someone else's "world" may not be the same. What you perceive as good manners may not be the same as someone else's perception. 
why is it that the standard response from the submissives I've attempted to contact is *no response* followed by blocking? I'm not rude, crude, or abusive, my notes have always been respectful... 
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