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RE: Grace and Manners - 7/6/2006 9:38:36 AM   
wild1cfl


Posts: 567
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

This is the ask a submissive forum. I'm a submissive, I answered your question honestly. I gave you a very valid explanation of why a submissive would behave in the manner they do towards your emails. Obviously you didn't appreciate my answer. Maybe someone else will come in and pander to your ego.

Good luck with that.

Celeste


I agree with you here Celeste and also with your previous post.  A profile says a lot to a potential submissive. I know that if I have messaged someone from here and they are not looking for what I have in my profile many will simply write and say something like "I am not interested in a couple" or " I really do not wish to relocate to the west" and I appreciate those replies as it lets me know where I stand. If I do not get a response within a week I simply realize that it is not meant to be. I do see what the OP is saying and in a way agree with him that it would be nice to recieve a reply from a message, but I have come to realize that it simply is not going to happen and I move on.

_____________________________

Wild

My Falcon now is sharp, and passing empty; And, till she stoop, she shall not be full gorg'd, For then she never looks upon her lure. Another way i have to man my haggard, to make her come and know her keeper's call. Wm. Shakespeare

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Grace and Manners - 7/6/2006 9:50:06 AM   
wild1cfl


Posts: 567
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mtumwawaBwana

hummmmmmmmmmmmmmm


am i allowed to complain only You are gettin chocolate cake???







hehehe



LOL....... baking chocolate cake for everyone, and  a special one for you mtumwawabwana.

_____________________________

Wild

My Falcon now is sharp, and passing empty; And, till she stoop, she shall not be full gorg'd, For then she never looks upon her lure. Another way i have to man my haggard, to make her come and know her keeper's call. Wm. Shakespeare

(in reply to mtumwawaBwana)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Grace and Manners - 7/6/2006 10:02:12 AM   
wild1cfl


Posts: 567
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: babysburnin

Hostility will get you nowhere.  Many of us are with "class and manners"... Do not expect what you do not give.  You may perceive those who disagreed with you as "non-ladies", but a gentlemen would have remained one under such conditions.  Practice what you preach ... 


Very well stated, especially the part about practice what you preach. Another point that I like to live by is that it is great to have effective speaking skills, but more importantly it is better to have effective listening skills.

Now lets get on with this food fight, you all know I am a big food fetishist LOL

_____________________________

Wild

My Falcon now is sharp, and passing empty; And, till she stoop, she shall not be full gorg'd, For then she never looks upon her lure. Another way i have to man my haggard, to make her come and know her keeper's call. Wm. Shakespeare

(in reply to babysburnin)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Grace and Manners - 7/6/2006 10:08:59 AM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Just letting you all know that I posted before I read any of the responses.  I wanted to give it a response that was completely unbiased.  I will read the rest after I post this.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dv8Top

I've always believed that a primary characteristic of a good submissive was social graces and good manners.  The ability to show respect is a fundamental requirement, at least in my world, of a submissives behavior.


Funny.  I believe those should be primary characteristics of a dominant as well.  In fact, let's take the lifestyle out of the picture.  Grace and good manners should be a primary characteristic of a human being, regardless of orientation.  With that said, we are all just human beings and slip up, get mad, or just don't care on occasion.  No one's perfect.

quote:

That being the case,why is it that the standard response from the submissives I've attempted to contact is *no response* followed by blocking?  I'm not rude, crude, or abusive, my notes have always been respectful...


Did you read their profile?  If I had a nickel for everytime someone mailed me for play or sex despite the bold "Married, Pregnant and Not Interested" at the top of my profile, I'd have a damned large jar of nickels.

If you read their profile and wrote a thoughtful message to them, then yes, it is rude to not respond and block.  However, if your messages are as thoughtful as you say and you have given them due consideration, I have a hard time seeing why someone would block you.

Also, we once again get back to the area of it not being just submissives who need to learn respect.  Dominants could do with some as well.

quote:

I'm not bitchin about standard Internet behavior, just wondering how a woman can call herself a submissive and not have social graces, good manners, or simple respect for someone attempting to communicate to respond to a query with a simple "thanks but no thanks", "fuk off" or whatever, but at least acknowledge the senders recognition of the profile YOU posted?

DV8


But it really sounds like you're bitching about standard internet behavior.

Oh, and the reason a woman can call herself a submissive and not have good manners, social graces and or simple respect is the same reason that a man can call himself a dominant without any of those traits.

It's the way the cookie crumbles. 

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to Dv8Top)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Grace and Manners - 7/6/2006 10:12:17 AM   
wild1cfl


Posts: 567
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrrPete

Your expectations are too high!

I rarely get a reply no matter how nice I write, no matter how I show I took the time to read her profile.
I'm respectful and never send one liners.

However I have recently discovered a method that gets a reply or I should say a higher response rate.
and, no, I'm too selfish to share it.

In my case I think it's my age that turns them off. Cruising dating sites I find very, very few women looking
fo a 60+ man and most of them that are, are older than I am. I'm just not mentally prepared to go there yet.

So, if they don't respond move on as I do.



(places my Glengarry on my head with the Macintosh clan badge on it)
Well said Mrrpete, best of luck to you

_____________________________

Wild

My Falcon now is sharp, and passing empty; And, till she stoop, she shall not be full gorg'd, For then she never looks upon her lure. Another way i have to man my haggard, to make her come and know her keeper's call. Wm. Shakespeare

(in reply to MrrPete)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Grace and Manners - 7/6/2006 10:54:03 AM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Trust me, you don't want to be in any harem run by me.  I can barely keep two women happy at the same time, much more than that and well, it all goes to hell.

(in reply to JessieMe)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Grace and Manners - 7/6/2006 11:05:48 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Trust me, you don't want to be in any harem run by me.  I can barely keep two women happy at the same time, much more than that and well, it all goes to hell.


Just keep flinging the chocolate cake, seems to be working here!


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Grace and Manners - 7/6/2006 11:12:16 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dv8Top

I've always believed that a primary characteristic of a good submissive was social graces and good manners.  The ability to show respect is a fundamental requirement, at least in my world, of a submissives behavior.

That being the case,why is it that the standard response from the submissives I've attempted to contact is *no response* followed by blocking?  I'm not rude, crude, or abusive, my notes have always been respectful...

I'm not bitchin about standard Internet behavior, just wondering how a woman can call herself a submissive and not have social graces, good manners, or simple respect for someone attempting to communicate to respond to a query with a simple "thanks but no thanks", "fuk off" or whatever, but at least acknowledge the senders recognition of the profile YOU posted?

DV8


No one, regarless of orientation, is required or obligated to respond to an unsolicited email.  Let me break that down for you.  Whether they are male, female, Dominant, switch, submissive, slave, gay, bi or straight has no bearing on showing or giving respect to people who send them email without their having specifically asked for it.  Unsolicited mail, electronic or otherwise does not require a response from the receiver regardless of how polite the sender.  Having a profile does not constitute solicitation of email any more than having a mail box is solicitation of junk mail.  Furthermore, silence is perhaps the most deafening and definite answer of all.
 
Having said that, I would like to address your demand for respect from people, namely people who identify as submissive, whom you yourself obviously have no respect for.  I derive this opinion from your OP and your comments to Celeste, who IMO has given you sincere, genuine, completely correct, and constructive criticism.  Respect is earned over time, not given with regards to the title you bestow upon yourself.  My suggestion is that you re-evaluate your desire to be Dominant as well as your desire to have a submissive before you embark upon another email campaign to be deleted and blocked. 

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to Dv8Top)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Grace and Manners - 7/6/2006 12:21:24 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dv8Top

Perhaps you don't agree with my style, or my profile, that too is irrevelant to the question I asked, and here's why..the question is about a submissives behavior not mine. 


DV8


I have never read a post by you.
I have not read your profile.
But i have read enough in that sentence to know you are arrogant and selfish. Not to mention the who cares how i behave - you must all show me grace and manners attitude.
If your messages to people show the attitude contained in this post then im not surprised you get blocked and ignored.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Dv8Top)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Grace and Manners - 7/6/2006 12:51:49 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		Seems to me that whenever a "dom" starts a thread about the rudeness, politeness, grace, manners, or whatever else he attributes to receiving answers to his notes, after he gets some contrary opinions his responses always slide toward boorishness or a tantrum.

It is pretty comical to see them start by holding themselves out as models of decorum, and then reveal that they are just big spoiled babies. heh.

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Grace and Manners - 7/6/2006 2:06:04 PM   
JustMiss


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline 		Ok....I really don't have any idea if I am posting correctly here, but what the hell here goes.
To the DV8 guy....
Look at it like this when you get home from work and check your mail, your tired, frustrated, whatever. As your going through the stack, you come across a letter from Publishers Clearing House that says you have just won 10 million dollars. Do you open it expecting a check for 10 mil there?? NO, chances are you are like the rest of the world and file it under G...for garbage. If you are reading profiles and they say specifically no men or whatever...they are going to treat you like that letter from PCH....garbage....and throw it out unopened. Doesn't make them disrespectful or without manners, it just makes them human. And to be quite honest....who really wants to keep reading mail that has no meaning for you??? We all are guilty of throwing mail away that has absolutely no purpose in our lives. You included I'm sure.

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Grace and Manners - 7/6/2006 4:54:34 PM   
Dv8Top


Posts: 27
Joined: 5/14/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dv8Top

I've always believed that a primary characteristic of a good submissive was social graces and good manners.  The ability to show respect is a fundamental requirement, at least in my world, of a submissives behavior.

That being the case,why is it that the standard response from the submissives I've attempted to contact is *no response* followed by blocking?  I'm not rude, crude, or abusive, my notes have always been respectful...

I'm not bitchin about standard Internet behavior, just wondering how a woman can call herself a submissive and not have social graces, good manners, or simple respect for someone attempting to communicate to respond to a query with a simple "thanks but no thanks", "fuk off" or whatever, but at least acknowledge the senders recognition of the profile YOU posted?

DV8


No one, regarless of orientation, is required or obligated to respond to an unsolicited email.  Let me break that down for you.  Whether they are male, female, Dominant, switch, submissive, slave, gay, bi or straight has no bearing on showing or giving respect to people who send them email without their having specifically asked for it.  Unsolicited mail, electronic or otherwise does not require a response from the receiver regardless of how polite the sender.  Having a profile does not constitute solicitation of email any more than having a mail box is solicitation of junk mail.  Furthermore, silence is perhaps the most deafening and definite answer of all.
 
Having said that, I would like to address your demand for respect from people, namely people who identify as submissive, whom you yourself obviously have no respect for.  I derive this opinion from your OP and your comments to Celeste, who IMO has given you sincere, genuine, completely correct, and constructive criticism.  Respect is earned over time, not given with regards to the title you bestow upon yourself.  My suggestion is that you re-evaluate your desire to be Dominant as well as your desire to have a submissive before you embark upon another email campaign to be deleted and blocked. 



Give it a Break, you're talking out of yer arse and your anger and insecurity is wailing like a banshee, you take enough from the few word posted here to come to that conclusion...BWahahahaha you're a real Piece of Work!

It was a simple question, perhaps a vent on the lack of common sense, good graces and simple manners.  Needless to say I've learned much about all of you, perhaps more than you have learned about me due to your personal issues.  I accussed non, defamed no one, spoke ill of nothing and in return...well it's not rocket science..

Save the cake grrls, the testosterone BS Crappy,  and the blatant male/Dom bashing of most of the rest of you..

Thanks for the intro, carry on...



(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Grace and Manners - 7/6/2006 5:37:23 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Dv8top,

There have been several that posted on this thread that had plently ofpositive input to your OP, it is telling that you chose to argue with a few of us rather than learn something from the one or two posts trying to convey helpful ideas to you. It demonstrates a lack of good manners and grace that you did not acknowledge the advice given to you, even if it wasn't what you wanted to hear. Perhaps you are too "domly" to lower yourself to taking advice from others, particularly Nakedonmychain who gave you wonderful advice.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Dv8Top)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Grace and Manners - 7/6/2006 5:49:16 PM   
ModeratorEleven


Posts: 2007
Joined: 8/14/2005
Status: offline 		It's a shame that you seemed to gloss over the first paragraph in yourMissTress' reply because it sums up the subject at hand remarkably well.  Presuming any sort of obligation to answer unsolicited email exists, and then berating people who disagree with your views on the matter, is a far greater breach of manners, grace and common sense than not answering the unsolicited email in the first place.

Folks, disagreements are always welcome here but let's work on our overall manners by keeping the namecalling and insults out of the mix please.

Thanks,

XI

_____________________________

This mod goes to eleven.

(in reply to Dv8Top)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Grace and Manners - 7/6/2006 6:36:23 PM   
Dv8Top


Posts: 27
Joined: 5/14/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Dv8top,

There have been several that posted on this thread that had plently ofpositive input to your OP, it is telling that you chose to argue with a few of us rather than learn something from the one or two posts trying to convey helpful ideas to you. It demonstrates a lack of good manners and grace that you did not acknowledge the advice given to you, even if it wasn't what you wanted to hear. Perhaps you are too "domly" to lower yourself to taking advice from others, particularly Nakedonmychain who gave you wonderful advice.


touche..although I don't think it a "Domly" issue.  I appreciate the good advice I received and your statement is true, I did fail to acknowledge that.

That being the case the abundance of Jr League psychanalysis and unwarranted criticism wrought from the posters head not mine was overwhelming.  From a group of people that have traditionally been wrongly judged to judge another without facts speaks volumns...

Arrogant, nah just old enough, and experienced enough, to know the time of day, wise enough to know myself.

Like I said it's been a real entertaining thread..

My apologies for piggybacking a few responses onto this one




(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Grace and Manners - 7/6/2006 6:38:07 PM   
babysburnin


Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		Here's a big, icey slice in your face!

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to wild1cfl)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Grace and Manners - 7/6/2006 6:51:47 PM   
Dv8Top


Posts: 27
Joined: 5/14/2006
Status: offline 		Quoting yourMissTress
 
No one, regarless of orientation, is required or obligated to respond to an unsolicited email.  Let me break that down for you.  Whether they are male, female, Dominant, switch, submissive, slave, gay, bi or straight has no bearing on showing or giving respect to people who send them email without their having specifically asked for it. 
 
It is not an obligation, or a requirement to acknowledge anothers presence when passing on the street either, however it is considered, in some circle, to be good manners..

OTOH when an individual is actively pursuing contact, and the intent is str8 forward and unambigious in their profile, which is not uncommon on CM....

And that's the fact's.  I never provided more than a strawman, other chose to bring their interpretations, and issues, into the thread.  Accusations of contacting people without regard to their profiles, and journals, were made by respondents not myself.

Again a piggyback..

BTW folks I am as adamantly struck on my position as you are on yours, you're pissed I ain't drinking your Kool-Aid and I could care less.


(in reply to ModeratorEleven)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Grace and Manners - 7/6/2006 7:03:14 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dv8Top

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Dv8top,

There have been several that posted on this thread that had plently ofpositive input to your OP, it is telling that you chose to argue with a few of us rather than learn something from the one or two posts trying to convey helpful ideas to you. It demonstrates a lack of good manners and grace that you did not acknowledge the advice given to you, even if it wasn't what you wanted to hear. Perhaps you are too "domly" to lower yourself to taking advice from others, particularly Nakedonmychain who gave you wonderful advice.


touche..although I don't think it a "Domly" issue.  I appreciate the good advice I received and your statement is true, I did fail to acknowledge that.

That being the case the abundance of Jr League psychanalysis and unwarranted criticism wrought from the posters head not mine was overwhelming.  From a group of people that have traditionally been wrongly judged to judge another without facts speaks volumns...

Arrogant, nah just old enough, and experienced enough, to know the time of day, wise enough to know myself.

Like I said it's been a real entertaining thread..

My apologies for piggybacking a few responses onto this one






I have to ask you a question? Is it good manners for dominants to email me when I clearly have the words TAKEN at the top of my profile? Dominants do this, and no I do not waste my time emailing them back. The first reason I do not do this is because that opens the door of communication, which means they will probably email me back something rude or otherwise aggressive, and if they do that then I have to forward it to my Daddy. I would rather not do that, so I do not respond at all. Believe it or not some see a rejection email as an excuse to engage you in ongoing dialogue...

When I first posted a profile on CM there was a mountain of emails from people totally unsuitable to me, and if I tried to be polite (at first I responded to every email) they sometimes called me names like "whore", "bitch", and "cunt".. not exactly well mannered is it? Instead of questioning a submssive's good manners, perhaps you should ask yourself why submissives would feel as though they shouldn't respond to you.. you might find that they have been subjected to nastiness just because they tried to be polite.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 7/6/2006 7:06:20 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Dv8Top)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Grace and Manners - 7/6/2006 7:04:11 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		May i ask if you honestly hand on heart reply to every message you recieve on collar me?

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Dv8Top)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Grace and Manners - 7/6/2006 7:10:40 PM   
babysburnin


Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		I'm almost afraid of responding - I think next time you want to complain about subs you do so in a different forum.  You posed your questions to subs, and didn't like the answers.  Are you seeking a sub?  Then listen up and obsorb.  If you want to be an angry, lonely Dom - go pose your questions to those who will nod and agree.  (You did get a bad time here - but you could have saved yourself many times, but "stuck to your guns." ) As Bita says often, "Good luck with that."

I'm hoping you aren't all that bad, just couldn't find it in yourself to back-down when challenged... Subs can be like that too, polite with manners and all. 

There is a HUGE lesson here - do you want to be "right" so much that you are not able to get along with others?  No, it's not about giving up your point, but like someone said - listening to the other side. 



_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to Dv8Top)
Profile   Post #: 80
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