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RE: Ignoring a sub/slave - 1/29/2014 8:55:56 PM

SubSlutSlave11

Posts: 56
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubSlutSlave11

Hello. :) I just have a quick question for any Dom or Master to answer (if They'd be so kind:): Do You think that ignoring a sub/slave will make them want You more? Or can it have the opposite effect? Thank You in advance, and hope all are staying warm and having a good day. :)

well being that your previous posts have already shown that you have issues with this and your "Master", I would say for you, it's not working for you. Dear, he has moved on. You seem to have not yet.

ETA: Master has ignored me in the past but there was always an explanation before it happened. Once was because he was upset with something I had done and needed time to cool off. Another time was I was getting behind on things and left me alone because he wanted the tasks done without interruptions. And another time was because I asked for it. There are times when I just need complete isolation and silence from everyone and everything.

Ah, good eve littlewonder... Just to clarify, again; I am not owned. I do not have a Master. I met up with a certain D(? bc turned out he wasn't one) that I knew for a year. I had a connection with a Dom, and out of nowhere, he ignored. Randomly popping in and out of my life. I allowed it bc I loved basking in his dominance. But I, just like anyone else, am okay with having a time out, time or space being needed, I think knowing why, is always helpful. I have zero problem when I know why something is happening.

Side note: didn't expect to feel judged on this site, but some people make it prevalent and make some retreat back into the shadows, so kudos to you that do that. :)

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 21

RE: Ignoring a sub/slave - 1/29/2014 8:58:01 PM

SubSlutSlave11

Posts: 56
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

Master doesn't do ignoring. If he did, he wouldn't be my Master.

I'm with him because we can communicate and we both deal with problems in an adult manner. Yes, sometimes it means physical chastisement (which has happened 3 times in nearly 4 years) but mostly we talk about stuff and sort it out.

If he decided to ignore me as a punishment then how the hell are we going to sort out any issues? If you're not talking through a problem, you're hiding from it.

Preach it, girl! :) That's what I was trying to say.

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 22

RE: Ignoring a sub/slave - 1/29/2014 8:59:16 PM

SubSlutSlave11

Posts: 56
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: youthinkso121

If the silence is part of an online thing, I tend to assume the wife has taken control of the computer back.

If in real time, I assume he has no clue how to communicate.

Hahaha!! And probably so true. Hope you're having luck youthinkso. :)

(in reply to youthinkso121)

Post #: 23

RE: Ignoring a sub/slave - 1/29/2014 9:01:26 PM

SubSlutSlave11

Posts: 56
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Ignoring, no. Saying you're too upset to talk now and will contact her the next day, an intelligent way to act.

Totes agree, DesFip. Hope you're having a good one. :)

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 24

RE: Ignoring a sub/slave - 1/29/2014 9:02:11 PM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

If a lady lies to me, she's dead to me ... done ... ignored.

If she's overly rude - brazenly so - I have no use for her.

I don't engage with people that bring only negative to the table.

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to SubSlutSlave11)

Post #: 25

RE: Ignoring a sub/slave - 1/29/2014 9:02:52 PM

SubSlutSlave11

Posts: 56
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

I hate being ignored.

I hate it.

We don't have a D/s dynamic outside of the bedroom- but if he's REALLY mad at me...and we're fighting- he knows that refusing to talk about it will make me a grovelling, sobbing, pathetic pile of apologies. Fortunately we rarely fight that bad.

If he did it to me frequently- regardless of D/s or not- I would leave. TOO MEAN.

I despise it, as well! But understand when I deserve it; kind of like corner time (HATE IT!) lol :)

(in reply to shiftyw)

Post #: 26

RE: Ignoring a sub/slave - 1/29/2014 9:04:42 PM

SubSlutSlave11

Posts: 56
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

If a lady lies to me, she's dead to me ... done ... ignored.

If she's overly rude - brazenly so - I have no use for her.

I don't engage with people that bring only negative to the table.

I totally understand and get Your reasons... Those are valid, and I am sure You'd let her know. Or no? lol :)

(in reply to DaddySatyr)

Post #: 27

RE: Ignoring a sub/slave - 1/29/2014 9:09:26 PM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubSlutSlave11

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

If a lady lies to me, she's dead to me ... done ... ignored.

If she's overly rude - brazenly so - I have no use for her.

I don't engage with people that bring only negative to the table.

I totally understand and get Your reasons... Those are valid, and I am sure You'd let her know. Or no? lol :)

That question gave me pause.

In the case of dishonesty, I would tell her that she's been dishonest (and prove to her that I know she has) and then, all contact ceases. (ETI: There was a thread, here, some time back where a bunch of people were advocating dishonesty. I didn't inform them, individually but I did post in the thread that I had the opportunity to re-evaluate what I knew about people. I hit the hide button on quite a few, that day. I also blocked them from contacting me on the other side.)

In the case of the rudeness ... well, with all infractions, there would be warnings, along the way; "Please don't speak to me in that tone of voice?", "There's no need for that", etc.

After a couple of those, there would be no discussion, I would just cease contact. I guess that's "letting her know"?

< Message edited by DaddySatyr -- 1/29/2014 9:41:44 PM >

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to SubSlutSlave11)

Post #: 28

RE: Ignoring a sub/slave - 1/29/2014 9:16:47 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

To Hisbeststory,

I am sorry no one commented on your brave post. I thank you for sharing.

I hope you are taking good care of yourself.

To the OP, in my life, if someone ignores me for ANY reason, they lose my interest, be they friend or lover.

I had someone whose lack of communication led to his retreating from problems and ignoring me.

Now, he is dead to me.

(in reply to SubSlutSlave11)

Post #: 29

RE: Ignoring a sub/slave - 1/29/2014 9:28:27 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

when men come in and out of your life, there's only one reason and it ain't because they like you. Instead they ain't getting any anywhere else and so they go back to the one before that put out, be it sex or bj or play or whatever. You're just a booty call. Men don't go in and out of your life for any other reason no matter what their excuse is and yeah I've heard them all.....I met this girl but I kept thinking of you, work has been really busy, I was really sick, my grandmother died, my cat died, I lost my cell phone and I couldn't remember where you lived, I was afraid of hurting you, I realized I wasn't ready for a relationship but I can't stop thinking of you (until he gets what he wants and he's off again), blah blah blah

He's not ignoring you. Either you didn't put out and he gave up until he decides to try again in the future or you did put out and now he doesn't need you anymore until the next time he needs a little sumptin sumptin.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 30

RE: Ignoring a sub/slave - 1/29/2014 9:56:10 PM

tiggerspoohbear

Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline

I have a hard limit when it comes to ignoring me. My 1st dom used to do it on a whim, from an hour to a week or two. Even living together. He knew what he was doing to me emotionally and just didn't give a rat's ass. A week before he walked out on me I was admitted to the ER for an accidental overdose. He wouldn't even talk to me then.

The Dom I'm with now is so very understanding. There's nothing he won't let me talk out. He dries my tears, he holds me tight until I'm no longer a blubbering idiot. Is it any wonder I love him so much?

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 31

RE: Ignoring a sub/slave - 1/29/2014 10:12:17 PM

Sirspassion

Posts: 57
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

great thread!

(in reply to SubSlutSlave11)

Post #: 32

RE: Ignoring a sub/slave - 1/29/2014 10:45:21 PM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
Status: offline

"Cold silence has a tendency to, atrophy any sense of compassion."

Lyrics from my favourite band! But I think it applies.
Icing people out, isn't a tool for building a successful relationship in my opinion.
I don't like to ignore people, but I do do it sometimes... Not in relationships really, because I think it's a bit childish.
Definitely not the best relationship tool... Its kinda seems like a cross between trying to play head games, and being a baby.

_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to Sirspassion)

Post #: 33

RE: Ignoring a sub/slave - 1/29/2014 11:15:19 PM

orgasmdenial12

Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
Status: offline

I come from a family where the silent treatment is considered fair game. Consequently I got *very very good* at ignoring people. I can live in the same house as someone and not say a word to them for months at a time. It's not big, but it is clever.

So, if a Dom ignores me, he better be prepared for the long haul. And if he doesn't turn up apologising and explaining to a pretty high degree, then he'll never hear from me again. The last Dom who tried to ignore me rang up crying a week later to find out I was dating somebody else. You snooze, you lose.

Simple answer? Ignoring doesn't work, not for me anyway.

(in reply to SubSlutSlave11)

Post #: 34

RE: Ignoring a sub/slave - 1/29/2014 11:17:49 PM

orgasmdenial12

Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
you blow off your chores, so your dom ties you to a chair and does your chores instead of taking you out to dinner. It's humiliating, and a direct explanation that actions have consequences.

Yeyy, I misbehaved so I got tied up? Awesome! Rewarding bad behaviour: my favourite Dom error ;-)

n.b. Not everyone considers bondage to be 'ignoring'. Some of us consider it to be 'really good play'.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 35

RE: Ignoring a sub/slave - 1/29/2014 11:28:51 PM

DeineSKlavin

Posts: 25
Joined: 1/25/2014
Status: offline

I hate being ignored, or the feeling that I am being ignored. Time spent, then with no explanation, the rug being ripped out from under, to me is not punishment, but a cruel way to exert emotional destruction in another. Punishment is one thing - it is clearly defined as to the why and how long. The unannounced withdrawal with no valid reason is unacceptable.

(in reply to SubSlutSlave11)

Post #: 36

RE: Ignoring a sub/slave - 1/30/2014 12:13:41 AM

ComeSitAndRelax

Posts: 7
Status: offline

Personally, I'm getting to the point where I start looking for a replacement for anyone that exhibits a pattern of ignoring me. It doesn't matter how much I like them, because when they're ignoring me, they're functionally dead to me. It's just too hard on me for someone I love and adore to keep ignoring me, so I'm going to have to make sure I drop people before I get that attached. If someone isn't willing to consistently be part of my life, then I'm done with trying to keep them as part of it.

Agreeing to spend time apart is perfectly okay with me though, as long as they're honest and upfront about it. I understand words and reason.

Being ignored for days or weeks, with only my imagination to explain why I'm not good enough for even a few moments of someone's time, is a hard limit for me. I just can't handle it emotionally and it's broken me before. The fear of ending up alone is what compels my submission and no physical pain I've ever felt can compare to the despair of when I'm ignored.

< Message edited by ComeSitAndRelax -- 1/30/2014 12:14:18 AM >

(in reply to DeineSKlavin)

Post #: 37

RE: Ignoring a sub/slave - 1/30/2014 1:34:30 AM

zubedangina

Posts: 39
Joined: 7/18/2010
Status: offline

In my opinion, ignoring is the worst thing anyone can do to me. My ex Master and I had a long distance relationship, where we occasionally got to see each other in person, and as such he thought ignoring was the most effective punishment. He would always tell me how long it would last for a day, a week etc, and why he was doing it. But I still couldn't handle it at all. The only reason I respected his wishes and didn't call him was because if I did, he would have added more time onto the original punishment. Finally, after too many conversations of me trying to explain to him the emotional damage he was causing me and the harm that was doing to our relationship, he finally agreed to find other punishments and not ignore me anymore. I acted better and our relationship got a million times better and everyone was happier.

(in reply to ComeSitAndRelax)

Post #: 38

RE: Ignoring a sub/slave - 1/30/2014 4:00:29 AM

SubSlutSlave11

Posts: 56
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

when men come in and out of your life, there's only one reason and it ain't because they like you. Instead they ain't getting any anywhere else and so they go back to the one before that put out, be it sex or bj or play or whatever. You're just a booty call. Men don't go in and out of your life for any other reason no matter what their excuse is and yeah I've heard them all.....I met this girl but I kept thinking of you, work has been really busy, I was really sick, my grandmother died, my cat died, I lost my cell phone and I couldn't remember where you lived, I was afraid of hurting you, I realized I wasn't ready for a relationship but I can't stop thinking of you (until he gets what he wants and he's off again), blah blah blah

He's not ignoring you. Either you didn't put out and he gave up until he decides to try again in the future or you did put out and now he doesn't need you anymore until the next time he needs a little sumptin sumptin.

Yes, yeah... Yup, you know it all. Men should watch out bc you know all.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 39

RE: Ignoring a sub/slave - 1/30/2014 4:04:22 AM

SubSlutSlave11

Posts: 56
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubSlutSlave11

Thank You all for Your input, experiences... I appreciate it. Bc of time, I just wanted to address one in particular at the moment... next post, lol. :)

Ummm, I did thank for posting. I wanted to give a certain post a little thought bc it deserves it. I always respond, geesh.

(in reply to SubSlutSlave11)

Post #: 40

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