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FieryOpal -> RE: deal breakers (1/30/2014 10:07:32 AM)
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You're absolutely right. Some of what I listed would have screened out such an imperfect candidate before reaching seemingly perfect partner status. (Got a trifle bit carried away.... [8D] )
quote:
ORIGINAL: DesFIP
If there are things that are dealbreakers, then by no stretch of the imagination could a person otherwise be considered a perfect partner.
Smoking, I'm horribly allergic.
People who abuse those who are powerless: children, elderly, animals - are never going to go on my list of people I want to talk to. I can't even fathom how you could consider them otherwise perfect.
Cat owners - allergies again alas. Horses and dogs are welcome though.
Voilà, AMENDMENT I
If they are not completely straight AND monogamous. - This may not be discovered until later. Bisexual tendencies and infidelity are immediate deal breakers.
Obese or scrawny - As long as he doesn't become terribly obese or skinny as a rail. To get to either state, he would have not accepted intervention in time, which is symptomatic of other untenable issues.
Not responsible or doesn't act mature enough - This can usually be discerned in advance, however, may not become apparent initially.
Has ethics and morals radically different from my own. Lacks integrity, is not true to himself. (This is why it's advisable to take it slow and not jump into a relationship too quickly.)
Married/seriously dating another - He may try to hide this fact until his evasiveness gives him away.
Has young children (More of a Soft Limit) - He may not be forthcoming about this either.
Is not submissive, a switch who is not predominantly submissive or unable to sublimate any dominant tendencies - Could turn out to not be the right fit after all.
Non-compliant - TBD
[Unemployed] Isn't self-supporting & self-sufficient - Might be putting on a good act at first.
Emotionally unavailable; doesn't have an affectionate nature, has difficulty receiving affection - He could start out romantic, attentive and act all lovey-dovey, then not be able to sustain the momentum.
Expects me to live up to an unrealistic image of how a Dominant woman should act. - Could become apparent later on.
Set in his ways, has an absurd idea of how a submissive man is supposed to act. - Should be apparent right away, so I'll toss in "unteachable spirit" or takes an unreasonable amount of effort to train.
Inconsistent, says one thing but does another, and can't follow through (then has all kinds of excuses for himself). - Should also reveal itself early on but may not be habitual, harder to detect until later.
Low or only average sex drive, not passionate & imaginative - Depends on how soon we become physically intimate. Technically couldn't consider someone the perfect partner until our sexual compatibility has been ascertained. A poor or mediocre lover just won't do. This would be a deal breaker for a sub under consideration (as would not being well-enough-endowed or not having much stamina -- yeah, I went there [:-] ).
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Avoids manning up and wants a woman to fight his battles for him.
Turns out he wants a Mistress with poor personal hygiene practices and can't get past this fetish of his, or any other fetish that rears its ugly head (which doesn't appeal to me).
[Edited for color coding]
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