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Wolfmoon6 -> Weight (7/5/2006 11:25:49 PM)
I haven't posted on here in a long time, but felt compelled to say something today. I am overweight. Have been for all my life. It is a painful thing to deal with. In today's society of health fanatics. I and a lot of other people are looked down on. I am not here speaking for all overweight people but I am sure that some will agree with me. There are a lot of people in this sub culture who are over weight weather they are Dom or sub. And it just really gets my goat that some people would say that they got into this lifestyle because they couldn't find love in "normal" society. Yes that may be the case for some but not for all. If said people then decided to be a Doms because of the hurt they have felt from the ridicule from society so what a lot of people decide to be Dom or sub based on a lot of different reasons. If a sub decides to be a Dom they will not be able to do so effectively in less their is something inside them that says yes this is me also. That is for everyone that takes up the whip. Weather they are white,black,asian,fat,skinny,male,female,gay,or straight. Me I am a compulsive over eater I can site down and eat an entire large pizza in one sitting plus some hot wings to go with it. I know this for a fact because I just did this today. I also eat when I am bored. For a lot of people food is a way to lessen the pain. To all it is an addiction. Some are more addicted than others. I have been told many times to not eat as mush to cut back. To eat healthy. To almost all other addictions we say quit cold turkey or slowly stop using it wean yourself off of it but eventually stop. Well I can't do that with my drug. If I do I will die. A slow and painful death. To eating healthy that is not an option for a lot of people healthy is expensive. Unhealthy is what a lot of people have to deal with. If you don't believe me go buy some fresh veggies and lean cuts of meat. Tell me how many meals you get for a 100 dollars. Is it enough to feed you and your family for the week. I don't think it will be. I am not saying to you to go out and find an overweight partner, or asking you to feel sorry for us that are overweight. I feel sorry enough for myself. I don't need your pity to add to it. Just remember that we can't stop with our drug. If we are in this sub culture it is because we want to be not because we can't find it somewhere else. If you look you will see that over half the population of the US is overweight. I am sure that if I wanted I could find someone in that half the populous that isn't into bdsm that would like me for me big and all. If not then how come their are all thous bbw and bhm groups meeting and having fun. OK I'm done with preching from the soap box. Sorry if I offended anyone just had to get that off my chest.

desertdancer -> RE: Weight (7/5/2006 11:53:33 PM)
wolfmoon, you deserve a well thought out response, unfortunately I am really high and drugged up on pain killers, when I sleep it off and come down, I promise to respond with the thought and care you deserve, but in the mean time, know your not alone and some added weight does not take anything away from a person. My Master is bulky and he once got way to thin, this was unattractive to me, myself, I am not fat but I do have hips and girly curves and I wouldn't trade them in for anything, I like my little bit of fluff, and I have been very thin and was not at all happy. Thin or fat, doesn't dictate who you are and what your worth is, you do that, by your actions, by your thoughts and your character, and I see no reason why you could not find a partner in nilla or BDSM. I refuse to judge on looks, I judge on merit alone and I think there are a lot of others who think like me. So have heart you, there is nothing wrong with you. BTW if you wanted to change for you, I've got a friend on weight watchers who's lost 80 pounds, hr whole body and self attitude has changed, she says its very easy and affordable and heck you don't even have to cook if you don't want to. Umm and next time, how bout you save just one piece of pizza for me, please? Mmmmm ~dancer I hope in my drugged state I managed to make some sense[:o]

proudsub -> RE: Weight (7/6/2006 12:50:27 AM)
Hi Wolfmoon, welcome to the forums. Hubby and i both lost a lot of weight on the South Beach plan. It's no longer a diet for us, it's just the way we eat and will eat the rest of our lives. The reason it works is because eating this way keeps your blood sugar even throughout the day, which prevents sweet and starch cravings. It's not low carb or low fat. You eat "good carbs" and "good fats" along with lots of protein, low fat dairy, tons of veggies and some fruit. It's a great plan for people who like to eat large quantities of food. You can still have your pizza, just have to make it with whole grain crust and low fat toppings. The biggest advantage of eating this way is that it will help prevent diabetes and heart disease, in fact that's what it was developed to do, the weight loss was a nice side effect. On my South Beach message board there are many diabetics who have been able to cut way down on their medication. Just thought i would mention this in case you have never looked into it. Good luck with whatever you decide.

IronBear -> RE: Weight (7/6/2006 1:04:11 AM)
Hi ya wolfmoon, Both neets and I are on the larger size although we are loosing weight for medical reasons, it has never worried either of us as to someone's weight. We are both members of a BBPersons group here in Aussie when big is desirable.... If you decide to shed weight, then please do so carefully and good luck to you.. Just remember that it is what is inside that matters and not external appearances..

ViborgHerre -> RE: Weight (7/6/2006 4:13:14 AM)
Weight is not just a matter of attitude, but it helps to have a plan: Drink a lot of plain water. Eat some fruit approximatly an hour or so before lunch and dinner - perhaps also in the evening instead of cake, chips or icecream. Take a smaller plate and don't refill. ( I still have problems like that Go for the really good stuff: Beef, Chicken, Shrimps - Cook it and THEN get rid of the fat - don't eat is. If required, fill up with veggies: Carrots, peas, haricot vert, brocolli ( just 4 minutes in a microwave and they are just tender) Get exercise, walk, swim, fuck, bike; perhaps even run? If at all possible define your comitment to your sourrundings, get allies, make bets, give yourself promisies. Have a weekly day for weighing, and record the progress. However, it is your life, - some persons even get their stomachs / other guts reduced in order to have a better and statitsiscally longer life. Height 182 cm Weight: 115 kg ( say 6' and 250 lbs) regards Peter

feastie -> RE: Weight (7/6/2006 4:57:14 AM)
I'm sure the OP appreciates all the diet tips, but I'm sure he's heard them all before. He's making a valid point which needs to be recognized. People are overweight for a lot of reasons, including food addiction. For many people, food makes them feel better. He's also correct that eating healthy is much more expensive. It's to the point, that healthy food is out of reach of a lot of folks. A true shame, but it is so. I struggle with that one myself, and I have two kids to feed as well. As far gastric bypass and lap band surgery, it's not covered by a lot of insurances as yet. Also, what many people don't understand about those surgeries is that even after the surgery, your lifestyle must change. Can you imagine, never eating another piece of bread again in your life? How about having the occasional soda? You can't have either after a lap band, (not sure about the bypass). If you do have either, you'll "dump", (throw up). That's pleasant, isn't it? I'm not saying people shouldn't have these surgeries, what I am saying is that there are many facts involved in having them that many people aren't aware of. Their use probably shouldn't be tossed off so casually. To the OP. I understand the struggle you face. I understand the prejudice you face. I don't have any suggestions for you, as I know you're struggling with an addiction. The fact that you understand it and recognize it is a great step. Maybe you can find a buddy to help you with the next steps. What those might be, is up to you. But I wish you the best of luck.

pahunkboy -> RE: Weight (7/6/2006 5:11:18 AM)
hey OP- i promise you - that if you chug WATER- drinking water...not soda- not coffee...., you will drop a few lbs. to the party poster...LMAO- at your cnador. lol....:-)

bignipples2share -> RE: Weight (7/6/2006 5:47:48 AM)
yes eating healthy can be more costly, but here is a way to help you. You can grow your own veggies and herbs. Even if you're in an apartment, you can get some cheap racks and get some grow lights, the grow lights being the costliest thing. You can make your own racks from used lumber and cinderblock if need be. Plant a little bit of each thing, then in a week, plant more, the following week, plant more. This way, you have a steady supply. If they're in your house, then you can grow all year long and no bugs either. There are dwarf fruit trees that might grow low enough for your patio, some with multiple fruits growing on it too. Grow your avacados in pots too, if you like those. By doing this, you should soon be able to dispense with less expensive foods as fillers and be able to afford healthier options. Start getting creative in the kitchen, look up all the different options to cook all those growing veggies and sate your food addiction with new recipes for them. Look up different ways to grow your veggies, organic, hydroponic...get involved with the whole growing process and reap the rewards of your efforts and the eventual savings and have fun with it ~Big

gardenbluebird -> RE: Weight (7/6/2006 6:10:07 AM)
Actually people today are more overweight than ever. We are not exactly a society of health nuts. Those people who are trying hard to monitor their own health don't necessarily want to get involved with those who are not careful. It is too easy to fall into the trap, so people have to be very careful about infuences in their lives. It is not necessarily more expensive to eat healthy. Processed food costs a lot simply because of the labor to process it and the packaging. Farmer's markets are wonderful and inexpensive. Lean meat can be purchased in large packages and single portions frozen. Exercise can be cheep too. All it takes is a decent pair of shoes and a walk outside is within everybody's reach. Good habits can be as expensive or inexpensive as you wish them to be. A person's weight is ultimately their own choice. I have lost weight on weight watchers online (which is pretty inexpensive) and kept it off. I don't feel sorry for people who are overweight. I simply recogize that their issues are simply more visable than other peoples, but we all have issues.

TallyHunni -> RE: Weight (7/6/2006 7:14:07 AM)
Hmmm, a topic that is very near and dear to my heart. Forgive me if this comes across as rude but I dont feel people will change unless they want to. We could list a thousand helpful suggestions for someone with weight issues but they may have an excuse for each one of them, then what? From the original post I can hear how frustrating and difficult it must be to feel nothing can help with this specific weight concern. Let me just say that I have also struggled with such issues so no one is alone in the matter.... I started Weight Watchers on Feb 14th 06 (as a little gift to myself) and have maintained a loss of 51 lbs. My goal is another 80-90 lbs no matter how long it takes. It takes courage to start and discipline / perseverance to stay with it. Good luck hun!

happypervert -> RE: Weight (7/6/2006 7:36:01 AM)
quote: I have been told many times to not eat as mush to cut back. To eat healthy. To almost all other addictions we say quit cold turkey or slowly stop using it wean yourself off of it but eventually stop. Well I can't do that with my drug. If I do I will die. A slow and painful death. Bullshit! People are cured of addictions every day. If you're going to make such dramatic excuses for being a compulsive overeater, I suggest you get psychological help . . . dieting ain't the issue.

TxBadMan -> RE: Weight (7/6/2006 7:51:50 AM)
quote: Bullshit! People are cured of addictions every day. If you're going to make such dramatic excuses for being a compulsive overeater, I suggest you get psychological help . . . dieting ain't the issue Exactly. quote: In today's society of health fanatics. I and a lot of other people are looked down on. No, not looked down upon because you are overweight, looked down upon because you complain about it, yet do nothing to change it. quote: To eating healthy that is not an option for a lot of people healthy is expensive That makes a fine excuse. Eating healthy is not expensive. Grow your own vegetables, your own herbs and seasonings. All that takes is a small amt of money to buy seeds, and a bit of effort on your part to help them grow. You want to control your addiction? Walk for 15to 20 minutes a day, every day. Instead of eating hot wings with your pizza, eat a salad. You may say that you have no choice in how this controls you; I say thats an excuse to stay the way you are. Just my opinion on the information given.

Suzette -> RE: Weight (7/6/2006 7:56:05 AM)
[sm=banghead.gif] you guys are not listening to Wolfboy. he is ADDICTED to food. i know what he is talking about. i too CAN lose weight, but i am ADDICTED to food. if AA said that you could be cured of your alcohol addiction, but were still REQUIRED to have 3 drinks per day, and NO MORE, there would be very very few recovering alcoholics, believe me. as the junkie if he can get high only once a day, but he MUST get high that one time, and one time only. he CAN'T do it. i am not looking for sympathy or pity or anything, really. i just wish that people would REALLY learn to accept someone as they are and not feel that they MUST be thin. that's my rant for the day !!!!!!!!

Moloch -> RE: Weight (7/6/2006 8:50:20 AM)
Eating Healthy is not an option? That depends on your Idea of Healthy, you kinda sound defeatist. I eat like a pig and 70% of my daily meals is fast food and I still loose weight and gain muscles, its all about being active. Go chaing the timing belt on your car to save money and burn calries, ride a bike go for a run!

windchymes -> RE: Weight (7/6/2006 9:32:32 AM)
I agree with Moloch, it's not completely about the intake of food. You have to burn the calories to burn off what you eat. I've also struggled with weight issues for all of my life. Just as drug and alcohol addicts get professional help, eating addicts benefit from it, too. Weight Watchers works for many, simply because of the support you get from the counselors and other members, and for having the eating and lifestyle plan printed out for you to read and follow. If you're lonely and depressed in your life, it's very tempting to just eat to fill the void. But knowing you have others who share and relate to your problem and who are nice to you and don't judge you because of your weight helps you stick to the lifestyle (note I'm saying lifestyle, not eating) plan. And, knowing you are weighing in at the end of the week is great motivation. ( I know the WW groups are probably 90% women....think of the chances of meeting someone there who understands you[;)]) But, I know WW isn't for everybody....there are e-diet groups, maybe a more medically-based plan....find what works for YOU. I do know that breaking ANY addiction is really, really hard, and you need people to support you! The other side of the coin is the lack of exercise that most of us, including myself, have. The times in my life where I've been more active, I've noticed I can eat pretty much what I want, within reason, and still lose, or at least maintain my weight. Commercial "glamour" gyms are out of the question for me. Who wants to appear in front of the wall-to-wall mirrors next to the muscle-heads and bikini-babes? I went to a "guys gym". No frills, older but still adequate equipment and machines, fewer mirrors and "ordinary" people who were on the same quest....to just get some exercise without the mental anguish. The owners of these little private gyms are usually glad to help you get on an exercise program, with both gentle cardio (just walking the treadmill, you don't have to do the spin classes) and lifting weights to start building up muscle, which is ideal. Muscle mass burns MORE calories, even at rest, just to maintain itself. I know you're not going to jump up, go outside and start running or biking. Start out with just a walk around the block. If you come home exhausted, it doesn't mean you're ill, it just means that you needed that walk! Do it again tomorrow. Make yourself. I'll bet you'll find that soon, you can increase it to twice around the block, and keep working up. When you suddenly notice your pants are a little loose, you'll know you're on to something! There's no shame in starting slow. Just do SOMETHING! [:)] Tell yourself you aren't allowed to sit down at the computer or watch tv until you've taken that walk. (Is is possible to "Dom" yourself?lol) Also, if you have a dog to take with you, he or she will luuuvvvvv you for it! I do sympathise with you.....but like quitting smoking or breaking any addiction, you have to take a deep breath, set a date to start, get a gameplan, and then just find the determination, somewhere, to just start! And, you have to really WANT to lose the weight[:)] I do wish you the very best!

Moloch -> RE: Weight (7/6/2006 10:31:15 AM)
One more thing I noticed, people say "Its genetic, Its thyroid problems" Well look at the health statistics in Western and Easter Europe the weight difference is drastic but you still have the same genetic and medical problems.

porchia -> RE: Weight (7/6/2006 10:39:51 AM)
i am probably not going to gain any friends by my post but here goes. Basing any relationship on pure looks is superficial. However, if i knew that food controlled my Master how could i expect Him to have any control over me if He could not control an addiction any addiction and sorry the same goes for submissive---a good submissive must have a reasonable amount of self discipline. The fact that health food is more expensive is a big fallacy. Price compare a little how much is a large pizza and wings---for the same price one can purchase a bag of salad, some lean meat (and yes hamburger that is 73 percent lean is cheaper than 93 percent but after cooking if the savings are left with a gross amount of fat in your pan) and some fruit. For the same price as a bag of Dorito's one can purchase a large bag of grapes or a large bunch of bannanas. Wolfman You speak of eating when You are bored---take a walk that eases boredom or go to Your local gym. Perhaps You are not in the best shape right now but start slow---five minutes every couple of days then the following week try for seven or ten minutes. Exercise is a great way to chase away boredom---instead of munching while watching tv---purchase some cheap hand weights and lift them while watching tv. When You want to eat and You really are not hungry---wait fifteen minutes normally the feeling subsides in that amount of time. i am going to have to be blunt here but if one continues to make excuses the weight is going to remain. Now going onward into invasive types of weight loss such as a gastric bypass---totally not recommended. i am not sure if many realize that this is not just a temporary type of thing. Because it is a pretty new thing there is nothing out there in terms of the long term health of a person once they have had this type of surgery. Regardless a person will still have to cut down and watch what they eat. The bottom line is health---sorry i am going to be blunt again---but this addiction like many others will kill You. Without proper diet and exercise a body can not thrive. It's a slow painful death at times. You need to look at the benefits of eating right and exercise. 70 pounds ago---i was pretty depressed, lacked energy and had low self esteeme. i am definately not where i want to be weight wise and for me it's not about being slender or looking good---it all about how i feel. When i slip off the wagon and go back into old habits, i get grumpy, depressed, i feel ill, i get mentally depressed and actually begin to crave---lettuce, fish, lean meat, water---a few days back on track i feel the engery surge through me, i loose the depression and over all feel much better--mentally and physically. Wolfmoon consider Yourself important enough to Yourself to make the change. i think Your post was not made to defend the 'fat is where is it at statement'. i think You are looking to make the change once and for all. For me and i tried many plans---the best one out there is the Body for life program however there are some real pit falls to this plan and one must approach it logically. For example---it's allows a free day where one can eat whatever they want and many find that they stuff themselves on that free day and undo all the work put into the other six days. On that free day my suggestion is eat ONE meal of something You have desired all week and follow the plan the rest of the day. It's very true that food is addictive and Lays was right on with there marketing campaign of no one can eat just one Lays brand potatoe chip---junk only makes You crave more. After a while though following a healthy diet junk will make You ill. Honestly when pms rolls around i need chocolate and if i indulge with that big bag of m&m's i will find myself feeling ill---it will cause me to vomit if i go nuts. There is a web site for the Body for life program and some of the exercises described are going to be difficult for any beginner. my suggestion is again start slow. If You can only handle a five minute walk or even just a walk to the corner of Your street fine. It's not a race---You didn't wake up heavy and it will not come off in a day. i also weigh myself daily and sometimes i will eat totally correctly the day before and i will gain a pound---i don't get discouraged because i know that i am replacing my fat with muscle and muscle weighs more than fat. When Your pants feel loose that pound or two isn't going to mean crap. You know the best day of my life was when i was able to look in the mirror and not have my stomach covering my pubic area---it had been years and year since i'd seen it and i have been heavy all my life---currently i have not weighed what i weigh now in over 20 years. In regards to the D/s lifestyle and a healthy lifestyle---D/s is a journey no matter how one looks at it---we learn and we grow---for me a healthy lifestyle goes hand in hand with that---i have learned and grown with my healthy lifestyle and i have passed my wisdom onto the one child i have left at home. Healthy eating has just become a way of life for us. Yes on occasion we do indulge but when we do it's a treat. She has become aware that her body is a temple and she must take care of it. She has joined a strength training program at the local 'Y' and swims several times a week. Allowing her to learn about a healthy lifestyle will also reenforce and motivate her to not allow the other unhealthy habits in this world to over take her. i sincerely wish that my parents were allowed to learn the wisdom of a healthy lifestyle and had of passed it on to me earlier. i missed out on many things life had to offer me. Remember no matter what---it's a lifestyle---so really live it and enjoy it!!!!

TxBadMan -> RE: Weight (7/6/2006 10:42:51 AM)
quote: you guys are not listening to Wolfboy On the contrary. Everyone read what he had to say, and responded in kind. quote: i too CAN lose weight, *but* i am ADDICTED to food. Notice the word that I highlighted. BUT. An addiction is just that; an addiction. People overcome addictions everyday. Those who really WANT to overcome their addictions would never use the word BUT. It's a cop-out word, used to excuse and deny. Food addictions ( along with many other addictions ) happen because there is something else going on. Whether it be medical, psychological, emotional, or mental. Treat the reason, beat the addiction. Not easy, but doable; and much better than making excuses. quote: i just wish that people would REALLY learn to accept someone as they are and not feel that they MUST be thin. No where in this thread did I see anyone bash another because of their weight. However, many responded to his own whining about his own weight.

Wolfmoon6 -> RE: Weight (7/6/2006 10:45:14 AM)
Thank you all for the advice. I do appreciate it. I guess I didn't do the job making the point I wanted to make. I read another persons profile and something that was said on their just really pissed me off. It was along the lines of over weight people get into this lifestyle because they can't find love in "normal" society. They then trow out a statistic about so many Domme's being over a certain weight. I just thought it was wrong for the person to say that overweight people get into this lifestyle because they can't find love in the rest of society. That is total BS. Like I said with over half of our society being overweight if I wanted I could find love there but i want someone to tie the knot with. Not just a vanilla relationship.

dreamscape -> RE: Weight (7/6/2006 10:59:17 AM)
I disagree, a persons weight is not always their own choice. I have poly cystic ovarian syndrome, and as a result of that I have a huge problm with weight. It is a known fact of this condition, that weight loss is very hard, and in fact is next to impossible for some. I exercise, I do classical fencing and swim all the time. I am luckier than some, primarily because of my frame. I am big boned anyway, and being 6 ft helps too....but I still have the issues with my weight. My condition, paired with my height and having a naturally large frame brings my weight to a grand 317lbs. Do I wish I could change that, yeah I do. I don't look as bad as I might, but I still would love to lose about 150lbs. Will I ever be able to do so??? Probably not. So please do not use a blanket statement like "ultimately their own choice", because that it not true at all.

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