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Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive marri... - 2/3/2014 6:43:38 PM   
Maradium


Posts: 19
Joined: 2/1/2014
Status: offline 		My Observation:
There are extremely few (damn near zero) submissive married females into JUST kink for the purpose of PLAY and not for the goal of a relationship!

Obviously there is nothing wrong with either ilk, but, the fact is that I am more into the play aspect of BDSM than the relationship aspect - so it is with a wistful sigh that I publicly recognize, here and now, that it appears MOST (if not all) submissive women I've either written to or whose profiles I've read, are strategically seeking a RELATIONSHIP, first and foremost, and not a tactical hookup.

I can surmise why that is, as it seems to mirror society (not surprisingly), but I make that observation, here and now, and wonder why it is so different than what I seek?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/3/2014 6:52:58 PM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
Status: offline 		Maybe the same reason us older bossy broads have a difficult time if we seek a relationship with say twenty one year olds and expect them to have the stamina of their youth and the wisdom and such from the guys more our age.

On the other hand, we (me) are not seeking people within a relationship to go outside it for fun.

Maybe, just maybe women are greedy and want it all because men diminish us down to fun rather than worth a relationship and just might be getting an attitude that guys only want us to have fun with them. Could be they just want more and something different than you want and you are shit out of luck.

When was the last time you saw a unicorn? You may just have to wait it out and not expect that everyone, anyone, someone wants what you want simply because you want it and find it viable.

Who knows, but really... is it all that hard to figure out?

< Message edited by Rawni -- 2/3/2014 6:53:32 PM >

(in reply to Maradium)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/3/2014 7:05:30 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		Eh.
I've been known to play casually quite frequently.
I just went and fell in love.

Here's some questions:
Why would I trust someone with my life if they didn't value me, love me even?
Many want a partner, someone to Dom them outside of the bedroom/TPE, just cause they're wired like that...this is difficult with a casual relationship, no?
Are you being creepy? (I mean that in the least offensive way, but even in casual relationships, I didn't want to feel like I was being oogled, and creeped on, if you make me feel like I have to say "Take it easy KILLER, down boy", you're being creepy, not friendly)
What else do you bring to the table BESIDES orgasms? Even when I was casual- I only slept with close friends who brought friendship to the table as well- if you act like you have no time for them...they'll make no time for you, stop feeling entitled to it.

By all means, I've typically been on the other side of this, but fortunately, being a bottom into casual and being female gave me a serious leg up.

(in reply to Maradium)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/3/2014 7:05:33 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Maradium

My Observation:
There are extremely few (damn near zero) submissive married females into JUST kink for the purpose of PLAY and not for the goal of a relationship!

Obviously there is nothing wrong with either ilk, but, the fact is that I am more into the play aspect of BDSM than the relationship aspect - so it is with a wistful sigh that I publicly recognize, here and now, that it appears MOST (if not all) submissive women I've either written to or whose profiles I've read, are strategically seeking a RELATIONSHIP, first and foremost, and not a tactical hookup.

I can surmise why that is, as it seems to mirror society (not surprisingly), but I make that observation, here and now, and wonder why it is so different than what I seek?


For me, it is because I value myself and my goals... one of which is to be in a relationship... another of which is to avoid being treated like a non-person/ kink delivery system.

There are plenty of people at munches and parties and such who are willing to just play. One must seek them out. Is there a reason you are not finding them in your community?

good luck,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Maradium)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/3/2014 7:06:37 PM   
Darkfeather


Posts: 1142
Joined: 3/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Maradium

My Observation:
There are extremely few (damn near zero) submissive married females into JUST kink for the purpose of PLAY and not for the goal of a relationship!

Obviously there is nothing wrong with either ilk, but, the fact is that I am more into the play aspect of BDSM than the relationship aspect - so it is with a wistful sigh that I publicly recognize, here and now, that it appears MOST (if not all) submissive women I've either written to or whose profiles I've read, are strategically seeking a RELATIONSHIP, first and foremost, and not a tactical hookup.

I can surmise why that is, as it seems to mirror society (not surprisingly), but I make that observation, here and now, and wonder why it is so different than what I seek?


This is just from a guy's perspective, but let me break it down rationally for ya. You are pondering why there are not more female submissives searching for no strings PLAY relationships out there. Here's why. Basically you are asking a person to give over trust and security, and at times, life and death safety, to someone they will only have a casual, at PLAY relationship with. Most people tend to not like handing over this kind of control to someone, without major backup/witnesses/fire/police/rescue, unless both parties have at least some modicum of vested interest in a relationship

(in reply to Maradium)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/3/2014 7:26:22 PM   
DominantWoman65


Posts: 386
Joined: 6/27/2013
Status: offline 		I read your profile. Perhaps the answer is that most women don't find lying and cheating as good qualities to have, even in a play only partner.

(in reply to Darkfeather)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/3/2014 7:35:30 PM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
Status: offline 		I had to look at the profile.

Okay Op... who is buying all the clothing and toys that are awaiting you at her place... I assume the place she shares with her husband? And... leaving marks on another man's wife for any amount of time?

Seriously, you haven't thought this through other than the fantasy of it.

Tell ya what... you are in MY house, doing MY spouse with all those requirements... costly ones... I might have some buck shot for your ass. (Sorry, my best impersonation of an angry husband.)

(in reply to DominantWoman65)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/3/2014 7:40:33 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		So basically, you want a sex toy behind your wife's back, right? Oh and you don't understand why the Married Female subs will go behind their husband's back so you can get your jollies, right? Or why any woman with self esteem would want to be your personal fetish delivery system when you have nothing to offer in return, right?

As for the the "circumstances" not being conducive to divorce, I'm guessing youhve been enough of a jerk that she coul take a good chunk of your assets and you would look like a cheating asshole. Chances are if you do find a woman lacking inteligence and self worth to suck your dick when you have a free moment during the day, your wife will eventually find out and take those assets anyway. Your wife, as well as most women here are much better off without you.

(in reply to DominantWoman65)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/3/2014 7:42:45 PM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline 		I think Darkfeather hit it right on the nose with that one. I talk to tons of married MALES who want a non-sexual D/s relationship and are willing to travel for it. However, it's much different for a 6 foot tall 245lb male to travel to meet a stranger than it is for a 5'4" 130 lb woman. You can thank all the creeps and serial rapists for your "0% women". Women disappear on a regular basis after going for online "meet-ups" it's not something where a woman wants to end up being "the stupid one".
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkfeather


This is just from a guy's perspective, but let me break it down rationally for ya. You are pondering why there are not more female submissives searching for no strings PLAY relationships out there. Here's why. Basically you are asking a person to give over trust and security, and at times, life and death safety, to someone they will only have a casual, at PLAY relationship with. Most people tend to not like handing over this kind of control to someone, without major backup/witnesses/fire/police/rescue, unless both parties have at least some modicum of vested interest in a relationship


(in reply to Darkfeather)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/3/2014 8:18:00 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline 		So your profile does come off kind of creepy, I'd like to propose that you might have better luck if you attended play parties and you do need to figure out things with your wife.

(in reply to Maradium)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/3/2014 8:19:36 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Stop lying to your wife and concentrate on your marriage.

And you wonder why women don't wanna play with you....


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/3/2014 8:31:14 PM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline
quote:

I can surmise why that is, as it seems to mirror society (not surprisingly), but I make that observation, here and now, and wonder why it is so different than what I seek?


You seek married women who play without strings. They exist and you can find them in the clubs. You can even find them here. I have run into one in the past. So, I think you sell the BDSM community short by thinking just about anything does not exist in fairly large numbers given the good size population of those who you might include as those "like you", more or less.

As far as your profile goes. I don't make judgments on anyone's morality or kink, especially on a BDSM website. I cannot imagine doing so here, in a club or at dinner with couples before going to a club.

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/3/2014 8:34:41 PM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline
quote:

If you wouldn't do it in the "vanilla" world, don't do it in the "bdsm" world!


Most do. You need to be posting on POF.

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/3/2014 8:41:44 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

quote:

If you wouldn't do it in the "vanilla" world, don't do it in the "bdsm" world!


Most do. You need to be posting on POF.


and you need to be posting on CastleRealm

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/3/2014 8:47:44 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline 		OP, I took the time to read the beginning of your profile (the part before you get into the kink-specific stuff).

Some people here have been a bit judgmental; probably because they've been "cheated" on, at one time or another and no one likes that feeling.

Your profile reminded me of myself, many years ago. I understand the fear of what a divorce will mean to your life.

Women, for the most part, get to walk away from a marriage taking the children, still having a place to live, almost guaranteed some kind of income (be it child support or only temporary alimony). It's not the same for the guy. I get it.

Having said that; NO ONE likes a liar or manipulator. I implore you to sit your wife down and express your concerns but, don't ask.

Say something along the lines of: "There are things that bring people great happiness and everyone deserves to be happy. I'm not and I'd like to talk about that."

"if I can't have the relationship I want with you, I am going to have to have it with someone ..."

The point is: if you really drive it home to her, she will either change her ways or the marriage will end. Either way, I can tell you that what's on the other side isn't as scary as going through life wondering "What if ...?"

I know it's daunting but, I promise that the relief will be well worth it. Then, you won't have to "settle" for a lady that has to get home before the sun comes up or before the kids get home from school.

You'll be able to build the life you want to live (and isn't that part of being a dominant?).



Good luck,



Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/3/2014 8:55:49 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder


quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

quote:

If you wouldn't do it in the "vanilla" world, don't do it in the "bdsm" world!


Most do. You need to be posting on POF.


and you need to be posting on CastleRealm

Made me laugh.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/3/2014 8:59:38 PM   
VideoAdminGamma


Posts: 2233
Status: offline 		Fast reply

I have pulled some violations for personal attacks. This is a reminder that no matter how compelling and overwhelming the evidence may be that someone is a #%&#@, it is against the rules to make personal attacks.

Please do not reply to this post.

Thanks,
Gamma

_____________________________

"The administration has the authority to handle situations in whatever manner they feel to be in the best interests of the forum, at that moment, in response to that event. "

http://www.collarchat.com/m_72/tm.htm

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/3/2014 9:24:40 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni

I had to look at the profile.

Okay Op... who is buying all the clothing and toys that are awaiting you at her place... I assume the place she shares with her husband? And... leaving marks on another man's wife for any amount of time?

Seriously, you haven't thought this through other than the fantasy of it.

Tell ya what... you are in MY house, doing MY spouse with all those requirements... costly ones... I might have some buck shot for your ass. (Sorry, my best impersonation of an angry husband.)

What? You mean he's too cheap to spring for a hotel room? No wonder he can't find an adulterous wife to hook up with--he has no game! Listen, there are 50-Shades wives on that "AM" site from what I've heard, outnumbered by 2-3x as many cheating husbands and also by single predators *excuse me, I meant bachelors.*

Btw, just because a woman is married, doesn't mean she's free & clean of STDs. Who knows who she last fooled around with or who her husband is messing around with either. Why should any adulteress-to-be trust herself with the OP, when he's so blatantly prowling around for a one-night stand? Submissive or not submissive, BDSM or no BDSM.

ETA: Whoops, missed Gamma's post while taking a short break. Speaking in general for any married male Top seeking a married female (bottom) for NSA play/sex.

< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 2/3/2014 9:29:08 PM >

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to Rawni)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/3/2014 9:44:55 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		~FRing it~

Expecting someone to trust you that implicitly, but you only offer the honor of being designated side piece of ass or dirty little secret in return? Good luck with that. You'll need it

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 2/3/2014 9:52:40 PM >

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Observation: Extremely few (near zero) submissive m... - 2/3/2014 10:04:13 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
What? You mean he's too cheap to spring for a hotel room? No wonder he can't find an adulterous wife to hook up with--he has no game! Listen, there are 50-Shades wives on that "AM" site from what I've heard, outnumbered by 2-3x as many cheating husbands and also by single predators *excuse me, I meant bachelors.*

AshleyMadison is well-known for creating fake female profiles. This includes the lawsuit in which the former employee alleges that her job was to create fake female profiles for the site. I doubt it's a good way to hook up. Hell, I enjoy hooking up, and I have no interest in putting a profile there.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 20
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