what do you think of my opening message? (Full Version)

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nero101 -> what do you think of my opening message? (2/4/2014 4:32:05 PM)

hi girls, not in the habit of copy/pste messages but i wrote this to acknowledge my intent from the getgo, its more detailed than most of its type, would love to hear your opinions on it

hey, nothing too serious here, just putting it out that im looking for a little fucktoy like you for a short term relationship while im working on my next project. i like the idea of a sugardaddy/babygirl deal, allowances and all with an aspect of slave roleplay, humiliation, 1 0n 1 and group. its come to my attention that my page is blank, its all up for me to see so dont know what the problem is. if your interested i can send it all, pics and introduction, but fo now enjoy a story i wrote about a girl and forced orasms When I Top, my favorite thing is bringing my partner to a forced, mind-shattering orgasm. Although there are many ways to do this, here is one of my favorites; it is based on a scene I did not that long ago: The first thing I do is make sure my partner feels completely safe. I listen carefully to her desires, her concerns, and read between the lines to get a full picture of what turns her on and what fears might make her shut down. With all of that in mind, I begin to undress her, and as I do so my hands lightly touch her body. I run my fingers along her skin to activate her erotic circuits, kissing her here and there. It is a very sensual experience for us both. Once she is fully undressed, I start tying her up. The key here is immobility, and keeping her legs open. I need access to those places that will light her up like the aurora borealis, and for her to have no choice but to be lit up for as long as I desire. I want her to feel how helpless she is, yet also contained and held. I start with a blindfold. Her senses must be focused on the physical sensations, not the scenery above the bed. Then I strap a panel-gag around her head and under her chin, making verbal communication impossible. Next I put her hands into heavy leather fist mittens; taking away her ability to use her fingers, she knows that there's no getting out without my help. Finally, I put a strict posture collar around her neck. Now she is comfortable, but very helpless. And she knows it! I lead her to the bed, and with my hands and verbal instructions I get her into a spread-eagle position. I put soft leather restraints around each wrist and ankle, and use lengths of rope to pull each limb to a corner of the bed, until she is tightly bound but comfortable enough for the long haul. Now I stand back and admire the sight before me. Beautiful! I can't help but to run my hands up and down her body, creating electric sensations wherever I go. I lightly drag my fingers all over her body, alternating between the soft tips and scratchy nails. Occasionally I trace a line up the inside of her thigh toward her pussy, but then veer off before touching her there -- for now. I like to build the anticipation. Her frustration grows as I kiss and bite her in all her tender areas. When I get to her breasts, I hold her nipple between my teeth while flicking it with my tongue, biting down harder and then letting up while my free hand pinches and rolls her other nipple. Then I switch sides. I take note of her responses, to what's happening when she moans, or thrashes, or arches her back. In this way she tells me exactly how to play her body for maximal pleasure. As her excitement mounts, so does her frustration. I let that build for awhile. The more frustrated she feels now, the more intense her orgasms will be later. Eventually she will be moaning almost continuously, asking for more but unable to say so directly. When the time is right, I will answer her pleas, but only to build more tension and more sexual energy. I lean down and softly kiss her pussy. I lick it very lightly, just once. She moans again in frustration. Then I reach down with my thumb and get some of her copious juices on it, then gently massage her clitoris. She responds instantly, moaning and arching her back simultaneously. I continue to use slow, regular strokes, building the pleasure and intensity over time. My other hand lightly touches her thighs and the inside of her legs. I like to compound the sensations so there is more than just one going on at once. Slowly, I accelerate the pace of stroking her clit. Her body thrashes more and more, but she cannot move far. All that tension from straining against her bonds has nowhere to go but back into her sexual circuits, creating a cycle of ever-increasing sexual energy. I have no idea what is going on in her mind, but her body tells me that she is enjoying herself immensely. Eventually, I feel her getting close to orgasm, so I stop what I'm doing and just watch her sweaty, undulating body. The moment passes, and I let the energy drop down even more. She is panting and her moans are nearly screams, wanting release, but it won't come just yet. When she is more settled, I start up again. This time I put first one and then two fingers inside her pussy, making sure they are well-lubricated by her own juices before I really go at it. Her pleasure -- and relief -- is palpable! I put my left hand lightly on her abdomen just above her pubic bone, and continue using my fingers to reach up inside and find her prostate/G-spot. Every woman's G-spot is different, but it's usually at the top (from a prone position) and near the entrance. I take a few moments to explore and find where it sits in her body -- and how it responds! Again, I just have to notice her responses to know when I've hit the right spot. Immobile and unable to see, her entire consciousness is focused on the pleasure I'm giving her, amped up by the utter helplessness she consented to. She has long since let go of any illusion of control, and now she is completely immersed in the experience. Her only desire is that I continue to play her like an instrument. That is my desire, as well. With her excitement building her G-spot swells, making it easier to stimulate. The light pressure I put just above her pubic bone squeezes her prostate from the other side and adds to the intensity of sensation. I keep stroking the spot, and then use my thumb to stimulate her clit at the same time. A loud moan comes through the gag, and I know she's almost ready. I increase the pace of my strokes, and as she thrashes around I just follow her around with both of my hands. There is nowhere she can go that I cannot follow! Finally, she gets her release and I feel her ejaculate all over my hand. I slow down a bit, but I keep stroking her G-spot. I can feel the vibrations of her orgasming uterus. I smile to myself, and keep going. We've only just gotten started. Over the next 45 minutes, she has more orgasms than either of us can count. Sometimes I give her a moment to catch her breath, other times I keep it up so that one orgasm blends into the next. I also move my free hand around her body, leaving no part of her neglected. She is sweating profusely, and I can only imagine her delirious mental state. Eventually, her energy starts flagging and mercifully, I slowly pull my fingers out. Leaning down I give her another soft kiss on her dripping pussy, and then begin to set her free. I start with just her gag at first, and lay down beside her, lightly stroking her exposed arms, chest, and abdomen. How was that? I ask, already knowing the answer. Oh. My. FUCKING. God! What the fuck was that? You liked it?




ElectraGlide -> RE: what do you think of my opening message? (2/4/2014 4:34:09 PM)

Could you get into more detail please, your post was rather brief.




RedMagic1 -> RE: what do you think of my opening message? (2/4/2014 4:46:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: nero101
hi girls, not in the habit of copy/pste messages but i wrote this to acknowledge my intent from the getgo, its more detailed than most of its type, would love to hear your opinions on it

I didn't read all of it, but it made me think, "I wonder if this guy is a virgin, or has a mental or social disorder, or both."

I think it's likely that your message will produce a lot of block-and-deletes, and offers to cam with you for lots of money.

If you want to improve your chances of success, read this: http://www.collarchat.com/m_1717756/mpage_1/tm.htm




SweetAnise -> RE: what do you think of my opening message? (2/4/2014 4:48:06 PM)

Welcome to the forum. We have a creative writing section that would probably fit nicely there. You may also want to unhide your profile so we can all read a little bit about you. If this is your way of introduction on this side or on your profile- people would rather have you tell them a little about where you're from, how long you have been on CM, and what you would like to gain from the discussion forum. Despite the fact that it is very sexual...it doesn't tell us anything about you.

I didn't read it either.




nero101 -> RE: what do you think of my opening message? (2/4/2014 4:53:25 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetAnise

Welcome to the forum. We have a creative writing section that would probably fit nicely there. You may also want to unhide your profile so we can all read a little bit about you. If this is your way of introduction on this side or on your profile- people would rather have you tell them a little about where you're from, how long you have been on CM, and what you would like to gain from the discussion forum. Despite the fact that it is very sexual...it doesn't tell us anything about you.

I didn't read it either.

is that why knowone can see my profile?? how do i unhide it?

this section is for asking a submissive, im asking for opinions of my writing, didnt think much introduction on my end was needed after reading some other posts on here




littlewonder -> RE: what do you think of my opening message? (2/4/2014 5:12:20 PM)

paragraphs dude.

paragraphs.

I read the first sentence and didn't bother any further.

I would have deleted you unread for both reasons.




nero101 -> RE: what do you think of my opening message? (2/4/2014 5:14:14 PM)

oh


i had put in paragraphs but for some reason it removes them






thankyou




VideoAdminRho -> RE: what do you think of my opening message? (2/4/2014 5:21:59 PM)

This is a reminder: You may attack the post, but not the poster.




angelikaJ -> RE: what do you think of my opening message? (2/4/2014 5:28:23 PM)

1) The preface, where you essentially say you don't usually send copy/past messages does not ring true to me.

2) Paragraphs are your friend and an important part of communicating the written word clearly.
This is your shot at making a decent impression and without paragraphs what you wrote is simply too difficult to engage and/or keep attention.

3) Your approach is not novel.
Neither is the content.
I can't tell you how many would-be porn writers sent me their scripts as an introduction.
I nearly responded to everyone including obvious scammers and the porn writer guys got a pass from me.


So, in case you want to know what does work: how to make your first impression stand apart for the hundreds of cmails we get (sometimes just in one day), I have what worked for me in my sig-line.

Edit: to remove content that referred to points no longer relevant.







SweetAnise -> RE: what do you think of my opening message? (2/4/2014 5:29:12 PM)

If you cannot see your profile as I cannot go HERE this will help you :)





sirssubk2008 -> RE: what do you think of my opening message? (2/4/2014 5:39:24 PM)

I didn't get past "im looking for a little fucktoy like you". Sorry dude, but if that is your introductory line, I think you have a lot to learn. I may have read further, to give you better feedback, if your spelling and over all grammar had been better. When you copy and paste, sometimes you have to manually fix the paragraph errors before you click 'ok'.




bellechat -> RE: what do you think of my opening message? (2/4/2014 5:40:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirssubk2008

I didn't get past "im looking for a little fucktoy like you". Sorry dude, but if that is your introductory line, I think you have a lot to learn. I may have read further, to give you better feedback, if your spelling and over all grammar had been better. When you copy and paste, sometimes you have to manually fix the paragraph errors before you click 'ok'.



this. this so much. sorry but if you immediately jump to i must be a fuck toy, I have nothing more to say, or hear from you.

ETA: the first message i get from you, i would rather hear ABOUT you. not a story you wrote. frankly If i wanted erotic stories, I would go to a different site. Most girls, to my knowledge, dont like random unsolicited. porn stories in there inbox




MistressDarkArt -> RE: what do you think of my opening message? (2/4/2014 5:46:56 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: nero101

hi girls, not in the habit of copy/pste messages but i wrote this to acknowledge my intent from the getgo, its more detailed than most of its type, would love to hear your opinions on it

hey, nothing too serious here, just putting it out that im looking for a little fucktoy like you for a short term relationship while im working on my next project. <snip, thank the goddess>


My opinion would be: NEXT! as for the rest: tl;dr.





nero101 -> RE: what do you think of my opening message? (2/4/2014 5:47:02 PM)

its funny becase im getting better results with this than when i tell them about myself, and i do think that story tells you about me if you can look past the fact that its eroticly based. and i didnt say you must be a fucktoy, i said im looking for a fucktoy. you should probably understand that i am only messaging women who in some way describe themselves as such

thanks for your replies so far girls




LafayetteLady -> RE: what do you think of my opening message? (2/4/2014 5:47:31 PM)

Most woman aren't interested in reading a guys copy and pasted, sent to every one porn. I would have marked you as spam and deleted.

I don't know why you think your paragraphs were deleted. I post from my phone, right in the little boxes, and it posts how I type. Of course if you pasted this from another source formatting may not have gone throug. In any case, there is a "preview" button you can use in the future to see if the way you thought it would appear is how it will appear.

Oh, and your profile is still not viewable.




Blueswordsman -> RE: what do you think of my opening message? (2/4/2014 5:49:08 PM)

You are looking in the wrong place. Most people on this blog are seeking a better understanding of D/s, friendships, love or long term relationships. I suggest you change your profile and seek out married women looking for the kind of dark relationship they can't get at home. You would be surprised how many there are. If your near NYC be careful, your in my pond.
Blue




MistressDarkArt -> RE: what do you think of my opening message? (2/4/2014 5:50:32 PM)

Umm, dude? Can I buy you a clue? Everyone here is supposed to be over 18, thus there are no girls. The term 'ladies' or 'women' is usually a safe bet.

May I ask if the responses you got from your copy/pasta are:
1. Actually women?
2. Actually women who don't expect money to interact with you?

And one more thing: women do not have a prostate. If you think you know one who does, you might want to check on that, 'k?




shiftyw -> RE: what do you think of my opening message? (2/4/2014 5:51:02 PM)

1) paragraphs
2) Too sexual...way too sexual.
3) Also, this is not original. I get messages like this DAILY. On here AND okc. I find it a huge turn off, personally. I feel it has a thin veil of "sensual" and I get creeped out by someone so sexually explicit, when it wasn't invited. You say you do everything to make your partner feel safe, but this level of description, especially when it wasn't asked for, can make someone feel unsafe with you.
4) While I like being called a fuck toy- personally, I prefer that to come later when I've decided to engage with someone, not right from jump street.




nero101 -> RE: what do you think of my opening message? (2/4/2014 5:52:39 PM)

haha blue, luckily for us im in ireland.

RE: profile not visible, collarme support are being rather......... i dont know whats going on with it as its all showing for me

@lafayettelady, i clearly specified that it is not sent to eerybody, niether is it porn. its sent to women whom i think it concerns




bellechat -> RE: what do you think of my opening message? (2/4/2014 5:55:39 PM)

dude, you asked for our thoughts, we are just giving them. dont get all uppity just because we arent falling at your feet asking to worship you.




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