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RE: Are strong, smart women not desirable? - 2/6/2014 8:27:43 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Fast Reply:

Oh I don't know. I consider myself pretty smart with my share of airhead moments. I know my strength from having climbed my way out of hell and completely changing my life, yet I still have my weaknesses and vulnerabilities.

He was attracted to me, in large part (as he said) because of my outlook on life. I think at times he may have wished I weren't as strong, but I am what I am. But his nature is to want to take care of me, and I had to learn to let him. In doing so, for the first time in my life I don't feel like I HAVE to be strong all the damn time anymore because someone's finally got my back. It's ok to be weak now. :)

I met a woman at a 4 day festival in Oregon a couple years ago, and after an afternoon of chatting she said, "Wow. You have a rare man. He can handle your obvious power. Most fear and turn away from that." That took me by surprise.

I think we all have a balance of strong/weak. The key is finding someone who compliments it.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to MisterP61)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Are strong, smart women not desirable? - 2/6/2014 10:51:22 PM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: asanaambitions

I have a query, mostly for those who are interested in submitting to female dominants but of course all viewpoints are welcome.

I'm finding a rather strange phenomenon as I'm speaking with (primarily) male submissives on this site, and that is that many of them get very uptight, offended and even rude when I show that I have intelligence and strength of character. This to me seems pretty counterintuitive, since you'd think that you'd want to submit to someone who you respect, admire or perhaps even feel is "better" than you in some way (not claiming to be better than anyone, just throwing ideas out there). I do understand that I have a somewhat abrasive personality and that my brusquness doesn't always translate well over text, but I admit that I still find it very shocking when these men behave like a petulant 5 year old because I dared to show that I actually have a brain. I am never rude or insulting or demeaning, I don't act like a screaming harpy intent on crushing these men beneath my boots (....maybe I should?). Is it because I'm ruining some sort of fantasy? Do submissive men really want a bubble headed bimbo in latex who never challenges them but just screams random insults while brandishing a flogger? Help me out peeps, what am I missing here?


I write for a living and enjoy smart, strong women as a rule. But I only speak for myself, and don't presume to make any sweeping generalizations about males in general. My sense is if you are encountering this issue so much that you feel compelled to start a thread, it may be that you are in some way contributing to the behavior, perhaps by not taking more care with the men you choose to engage with online.

(in reply to asanaambitions)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Are strong, smart women not desirable? - 2/6/2014 11:11:52 PM   
MissSashaMizaree


Posts: 2
Joined: 10/6/2013
Status: offline 		This isn't even so much a domme problem as much as a woman problem in general. Yes a lot of men can't handle a woman that isn't an airhead. It hurts their ego, but honestly, I wouldn't respect a man like that. I don't want a guy who needs me to be weak just so he can feel strong.

(in reply to seekingreality)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Are strong, smart women not desirable? - 2/6/2014 11:45:40 PM   
DeineSKlavin


Posts: 25
Joined: 1/25/2014
Status: offline 		Herrchen likes that I am intelligent. I have strong areas and he has complementary areas of strength. I am asked about things in my bailiwick and Herrchen listens to them and uses them to make decisions for us. Since I am Sklavin, He is right always, even if he sometimes...dare I say it...errs. But we roll with it and opt for a different route and carry one. It works for us.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Are strong, smart women not desirable? - 2/7/2014 6:14:58 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		There are two parts to your query, so I'll approach this from two angles. First is whether you find this to resonate with your predilections:

"I am sapiosexual. I think geeks and nerds are sexy--I often want to rub my clit against their minds." - Kayar Silkenvoice

Definition of Sapiosexual: One who finds intelligence the most sexually attractive feature; behaviour of becoming attracted to or aroused by intelligence and its use.

Additional Information: Sapiosexual is a neologism word (recently constructed word) that has come into common usage;, especially on social networking sites where some people are self-identifying as sapiosexual. Origins: From Latin root sapien, wise or intelligent, and Latin sexualis, relating to the sexes.

http://www.collinsdictionary.com/submission/6304/Sapiosexual

If it does, then this is probably why you have been experiencing difficulty connecting with men. It takes one to know one. Furthermore, this would mean you don't often connect with other women either since the majority of the population are not similarly inclined.

FYI, an earlier term in usage for this phenomenon was "Sapiophilia," which indicates more of a fondness for intelligence, but one which I've always avoided using because I thought it sounded like a perversion!

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

The other thing is that you should be glad these guys are showing their true colors this quickly. Because you don't want every guy out there, you want the one who thinks a smart woman is hot.
<snip>

As for Part 2, there are those who are petulant and lack social graces. Don't waste any more of your brain cells on them. There are men who are so insecure that they can't handle a woman outshining them or having a quicker wit than they do. They can conceal their frustration better in real life than when hiding behind the anonymity of being on line.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to asanaambitions)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Are strong, smart women not desirable? - 2/7/2014 9:46:00 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterP61

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChaoticIntent


Don't feel bad for us! Most of us will simply WALK away or attempt to get in her panties and leave her as soon as possible.

Dude. Seriously this is the kind of attitude that makes all men look like fucking idiots. Try using I and Me statements, OK?


Actually.... I appreciate comments like his for two reasons...

One... It separates me from guys like him.

Two... It separates woman who believe shit like that and those that just peg it on him!


It's actually a win-win from my perspective

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to MisterP61)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Are strong, smart women not desirable? - 2/7/2014 11:00:34 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Go on, KoM,
spin that thing.
Sunny

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Are strong, smart women not desirable? - 2/7/2014 12:25:07 PM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		You seem to suppose guys are enough alike to generalize. But the many differences are what allows you your choice. The solution to the problem seems to be to look the other way.

_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Are strong, smart women not desirable? - 2/7/2014 1:07:22 PM   
Blonderfluff


Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline 		Smart women are very good at discerning when a gentleman is intimidated by their mature, capable rock-on, sexy selves.
We just shift our focus to the many intelligent, funny, secure men out there.

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.



I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to FrostedFlake)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Are strong, smart women not desirable? - 2/7/2014 2:03:17 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Smart strong women are hot as balls.
Besides, what fun is it conquering a sycophant?
It's so much more fun to watch an intelligent vibrant vivacious woman crawl of her own volition, willingly giving over of self to moi.
Yeah-one's drinking tap water, the other ambrosia

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to Blonderfluff)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Are strong, smart women not desirable? - 2/7/2014 2:25:15 PM   
AlphaFemsRule


Posts: 52
Joined: 1/7/2014
Status: offline 		You are the most attractive woman I've talked to on here.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I find you (and women like you) desirable. Intelligence, strength and confidence are extremely attractive and, really, essential for me.


(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Are strong, smart women not desirable? - 2/7/2014 2:28:36 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AlphaFemsRule
You are the most attractive woman I've talked to on here.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I find you (and women like you) desirable. Intelligence, strength and confidence are extremely attractive and, really, essential for me.


Errr, I'm a guy.
Looks down, checks to be sure.
Yep.
Still am.

Wipes brow.
Wheew, you had me worried there for a minute.
For one brief instant, I had pink tutu visions :-)


_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to AlphaFemsRule)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Are strong, smart women not desirable? - 2/7/2014 2:33:06 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Why are you even asking this question? Everyone's going to say that they prefer women with brains, regardless. You *know* that.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to asanaambitions)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Are strong, smart women not desirable? - 2/7/2014 2:48:20 PM   
AlphaFemsRule


Posts: 52
Joined: 1/7/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
Errr, I'm a guy.
Looks down, checks to be sure.
Yep.
Still am.

Wipes brow.
Wheew, you had me worried there for a minute.
For one brief instant, I had pink tutu visions :-)



I don't understand.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Are strong, smart women not desirable? - 2/7/2014 3:14:21 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AlphaFemsRule


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
Errr, I'm a guy.
Looks down, checks to be sure.
Yep.
Still am.

Wipes brow.
Wheew, you had me worried there for a minute.
For one brief instant, I had pink tutu visions :-)



I don't understand.


Your post came up as a reply to mine (See bottom right hand corner of the comment box)
I kinda figured it might be by accident, but who knows? Best to be sure :-)

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to AlphaFemsRule)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Are strong, smart women not desirable? - 2/7/2014 3:32:25 PM   
eulero83


Posts: 1470
Joined: 11/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AlphaFemsRule


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
Errr, I'm a guy.
Looks down, checks to be sure.
Yep.
Still am.

Wipes brow.
Wheew, you had me worried there for a minute.
For one brief instant, I had pink tutu visions :-)



I don't understand.



if your post is not a reply to Kana but to the original poster (in this case asanaambitions), on this forum it is use to start the post with the acronym FR (fast reply).

(in reply to AlphaFemsRule)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Are strong, smart women not desirable? - 2/7/2014 5:42:15 PM   
MisterP61


Posts: 1345
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Why are you even asking this question? Everyone's going to say that they prefer women with brains, regardless. You *know* that.

Well, since most people know who I am married to... yeah they do *know*

_____________________________

Proudly married to the "Diva of Destruction" LadyPact
Though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore - Of Monsters and Men
What is the maximum effective range of an excuse? Zero meters!

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Are strong, smart women not desirable? - 2/7/2014 6:20:15 PM   
House91


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/28/2014
Status: offline 		Wait...they aren't?

When did this happen?

Did I not get the submissive man memo?

If someone doesn't appreciate your intelligence and insults you for it, then they're not worth your time. Plain and simple. If you don't put an emphasis on knowledge, learning, and critical thinking then what kind of message are you sending? That's what gets us into trouble in the long run.


I'll take a strong, intelligent woman who can boggle my mind any day.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Are strong, smart women not desirable? - 2/7/2014 9:15:13 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Here's something to help you weed out the men just a teeny, tiny bit. Mind you it doesn't always work but you may pull in a few that are a little smarter that will be interested in you. It's worth the try.

Put something in your profile that you enjoy but may not be something an idiot would understand. Maybe a quote, some kind of technical jargon about something only an educated person would understand (it has to be something you actually like and would like to talk about though), a book that you enjoyed and would like to talk about,etc....

I've done this in the past and found that I would get a more upscale of men who would reply to my profile. That doesn't mean I still didn't get the idiots. I still did but at least it got more of what I wanted also.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to House91)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Are strong, smart women not desirable? - 2/7/2014 9:18:33 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

To answer the question in your title, smart, strong women are hot as fuck.



Yup, RedMagic has this one pretty much sorted.

quote:

ORIGINAL: asanaambitions

I guess I just have a habit of bursting people's fantasy bubbles. It's not just the guys who show up in my inbox and act like relationships should mirror porn who end up getting cranky with me, but also guys who start interesting topics and then become furious when I demonstrate that I know more about what they're talking about than they do.


Yup. In a way, you're doing them a kindness. They won't see it that way, mind you.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 60
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