quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

for me personally, that's not how I define D/s. It's not about being restrained or controlled and everything to do with one person being a dominant personality and the other a submissive personality and if you can change your personality from one to the other, I think most psychologists would see that as a double personality. LOL

What you describe to me, at least how I read it, sounds like you are talking about sex and play.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pg4g

If I'm a switch ... Does that mean I'm not interested in D/s, or am I really into it but the conflict of desires only allows it to be played out to it's fullest at different times?

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I never called you a liar. That's coming from your own insecurities about yourself.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I never called you a liar.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1


I'm familiar with two definitions of a BDSM switch:

1. Someone who alternates between topping and bottoming -- flexible in play.

2. Someone who can take on either the dom or sub role in a relationship, and makes that choice depending on the chemistry with the other person. Inside that relationship, the switch might not be flexible in play.

So (1) is sort of like "kinky" and (2) is sort of like "bisexual."

There's also a third category, which I've especially seen among dominant women. That is: someone who is vanilla or sub in their primary relationship, but who also dominates a submissive or submissives in a secondary relationship. I've never heard those people called switches, but they aren't just one thing either.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

I've always believed that no one is 100% dominant or submissive.

Imagine how fucking ugly that would be:

One of the main traits of a dominant is that they like things done their way. If someone were 100% dominant, there would be no quarter given on almost all issues.

Conversely, someone who is 100% submissive (I would think) would be a person who never takes a stand (I've posted about this in re parenting). That could be equally ugly.

So, I believe that all of us are "switches" to some degree or another. I'm not talking about the kink, per se; I have no love of pain but played two years of rugby at the "young" age of 33-35. The pain was intense. I didn't so it for the pain. I did it for the game.

What I mean is in the actual inter-personal relationships, we all "switch" to some degree or another.

Now, you're worried about people looking down their noses at you? I would say that comes from insecurity; much like the "straight" man that doesn't want to associate with a gay man. It's not "homophobia". It's insecurity about their own sexuality. I would say anyone that treats you poorly is because they're not all that secure in their own path.

In other words: Fuck 'em ... right where they take their soup.



Good luck,



Michael