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RE: Community views on switches? - 2/13/2014 2:50:44 PM

sassyshunger

Posts: 6
Joined: 9/13/2012
Status: offline

As a submissive that has switch tendencies, I really enjoyed this thread and all of the comments on it. The only time I've found a stigma attached to my switch side is when dominants (yes, I didn't capitalize on purpose, I don't consider these "true Dominants"!) don't bother to read my full profile get the wrong impression of me, or at munches when the odd person has taken offense if I didn't match up with what they wanted when they'd ask if we could meet again. The most important thing, OP is to be happy and true to your needs and desires, and do not mislead anyone you get involved with. Hell with what anyone else thinks.

(in reply to MercTech)

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RE: Community views on switches? - 2/13/2014 3:17:08 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pg4g
I'm wondering if I'm going to be looked down upon. Sort of like how when I go out for a drink with my work colleagues and then they find out their masculine friend happens to like other men, not women. It's not about the play. I'm just concerned about social prejudice.

Carol and I were just discussing this. My own opinion is that the online world of BDSM and the offline one are so different as to not even remotely be the same thing. To your own problem, I've seen lots of parsing of "what is real" in various online venues. Seldom to never have I seen such a thing offline. I distinctly remember a MAsT meeting (surely the bastion of TPE-ness) where one couple introduced themselves as M/s switch. Apparently they switched roles rather fluidly but it was always clear who was the boss at any given moment. Nobody batted an eye at although a few of us asked some questions out of raw curiosity.

I might also say that Carol and I have always been well received by the BDSM community despite the fact that we aren't kinky and don't really "fit the mold". Generally BDSM'ers, like most people, seem to like people with decent social skills rather than specific relationship roles. Be nice. People will like you. That's my opinion.

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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
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(in reply to pg4g)

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RE: Community views on switches? - 2/13/2014 3:54:22 PM

MzMinx

Posts: 277
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline

having been in and around the Australian scene for a while, I do not think there is an issue with switches ... it generally comes down to people ... some people will click and get a long .. others wont care ... and some will, for whatever reason not like you .. eg being gay ..having blue eyes ... smiling to much .. being a switch .. being male .. being female etc

In general if you are friendly and approachable, most people will be nice back.

Just like any other group

Good luck and I hope you enjoy your outing into the community

(in reply to JeffBC)

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RE: Community views on switches? - 2/13/2014 5:19:40 PM

pg4g

Posts: 296
Joined: 12/31/2013
From: Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SwitchBloke

Good. One further thing to consider:

When you wake up in the morning next to this person, could you handle knowing you'll always be the submissive in the relationship, or the dominant in the relationship? Do you want the basis of your relationship to be that position? Or do you need your relationship grounded in equality with power exchange something that you need temporarily between you but eventually you need to revert to equality to maintain the relationship?

You've stated in other threads you're military. So how did you feel in basic training? Could you handle the lack of control at all times with a person, and have a more meaningful relationship with that? Or could you have a relationship where you are the leader, and have a more meaningful relationship with that?

Personally, things between my partner and I must have a grounding in equality. Control shifts between us, but we always return to equality at the end of the day. I couldn't handle anything other than this. It would ruin the relationship.

Man, again, very helpful to think about, and I actually agree with you. You and I seem extremely similar.

I couldn't stand it 24/7 as the basis for a relationship. I'm too independent and strong-willed to be a sub, and I'd feel repressive if I was a dom.

Case in point, as FieryOpal said, my current relationship has been quasi-D/s for a while, with me the far more dominant. And I've encouraged for that to end. I want equality. Mostly because I feel uncomfortable being in general control all the time, and it's not helpful for his anxiety issues.

To littlewonder, again I can't apologise enough for getting defensive.

If anyone asks what I'm like from now on, I'm just going to point to SwitchBloke's posts and say '"he's just like me!"

Sorry for anyone I've confused.

And thank you all for your encouragement. Will be getting out and about in the community soon enough.

< Message edited by pg4g -- 2/13/2014 5:23:56 PM >

(in reply to SwitchBloke)

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RE: Community views on switches? - 2/14/2014 8:52:44 PM

tiggerspoohbear

Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Naturally me being all Domly Dom and shit, I couldn't contribute much. For some ungodly reason this thread made me think how much I love my cock being worshiped. Of course that derailed me strait to how much I love eating pussy... Fuck.... I think I'm a SLUT.

Exiled

Fixed this for you.

HOW DARE YOU IMPUGN... Fuck it, I can't finish it, I'm laughing too hard and I really don't have a leg to stand on.

xoxoxoxo
Exiled

You have an extra leg to stand on, I think that's where ya start to get into trouble ya big goober !

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RE: Community views on switches? - 2/14/2014 9:17:11 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tiggerspoohbear

You have an extra leg to stand on, I think that's where ya start to get into trouble ya big goober !

Didn't you get the memo? I've been outed as the fake caveman I iz. I must turn in my D card :(

Not doing Red Rover
Exiled

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(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)

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Post #: 66

RE: Community views on switches? - 2/14/2014 10:25:29 PM

tiggerspoohbear

Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

quote:

ORIGINAL: tiggerspoohbear

You have an extra leg to stand on, I think that's where ya start to get into trouble ya big goober !

Didn't you get the memo? I've been outed as the fake caveman I iz. I must turn in my D card :(

Not doing Red Rover
Exiled

Why do I never get the memos? Dammit Janit gonna have to get a new secretary!

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".

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Post #: 67