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RE: Shallow/superficial women? - 2/15/2014 10:43:17 AM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		OP,
First...as sucky as it is...when people react sometimes they get personal. For you, the chair/disability thing, sounds fairly recent so, in the past, if you said something that infuriated someone they probably hit back with another type of insult. Personally, as a "large" woman, I can tell you that it is common for people to strike at or back with insults about my weight even if the original altercation had nothing to do that. Watch judge Judy or Dr Phil or any reality show...somebody cuts you off in traffic, jumps in front of you at the grocery store! let's their kid hit another kid....the injured party often responds with "that fat-ass" or "that black bitch" or "that retard". In your case, you have a visible physical difference now that makes for easy target when you tick someone off. I don't like it when it is done to me which is why I try to never fight back verbally with insults. If you throw your car in reverse to get a parking space and don't bother to look behind you and then hit me...I might call you a stupid jerk because...well your ACTIONS show lack of intelligence and consideration.... You will have to learn to tune it out..people are mean and insensitive until it is them on the receiving end.

Second...it does appear that you are having (rightfully so) some anger, frustration issues with what has happened. Your life has been tossed up in the air. You had a respected career, you had relationships with your wife, friends, strangers that were always "equal" and now there is an imbalance (like it or not...accept it or not you are now in more need of assistance even if it is nothing more than needing someone to hold open a manual door while you wheel through it)...everything you mentally pictured for your present and future has been altered. It may take time, it may take therapy to come to terms with it. Part of what you will have to come to terms with is that people will talk "above you, around you" and treat you like you are mentally impaired as well as physically. Again, there are too many insensitive or unthinking people in the world to expect all of them to change... All you can do is not accept it...but in a polite way. A waiter asks your wife what you want to eat rather than asking you...you look him dead in the eye and...ever so politely say... "I will have...and I will also be paying the check and the tip at the end of the meal"

I know this is a long response and in the end says nothing more than...it is time to come to terms with what life has dealt.

(in reply to thinkyoucanhang)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Shallow/superficial women? - 2/15/2014 10:54:05 AM   
ThePrincessKali


Posts: 424
Joined: 9/19/2012
Status: offline 		This is the second thread you've started about your disability. All you've talked about is your disability. You don't wan to be treated different because you're disabled but it seems to be how you define yourself and all you talk about. You don't want to be defined by your wheelchair? Awesome. Then talk about who you are as a person because you are choosing to define yourself that way.

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Shallow/superficial women? - 2/15/2014 11:39:20 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss


I know this is a long response and in the end says nothing more than...it is time to come to terms with what life has dealt.


This is actually very true. I have a friend that lost both legs and the use of his left hand. He has the best attitude that I've ever seen. I once asked him about that and he told me: "I decided that I had a choice. I could let this define me or I could accept it, move on with my life and have some happiness."

To the OP:

I've read your posts and I've read your profile. Both tell me that you're not dominant, you're domineering. Your posts here speak of anger and impotence, otherwise you wouldn't need to act out to get attention. The way you describe your wife in profile speaks of insecurity. The bottom line is that these things mean that you're not a Dominant.

Next, please seek out therapy. (It seems like you're stuck in your grieving cycle) Yes, I know it's a PITA to get, but please fight for your right to treatment. There are sources if you look. I know because I'm on the board of directors for two charities that deal with wounded veterans.

And finally, you're married. Not a lot of women would be happy getting the crumbs of a relationship. In your situation, it would be a friends with benefits situation because that woman is never going to be a part of your entire life. The test for this is that you will spend all of your important occasions with your wife. So, let me ask you....why do you think that a woman who is just having sex with a guy would choose to have that person be unpleasant, angry and insecure?

So, I would suggest that seeking out any relationship is not a healthy thing for you until you deal with your own issues.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Shallow/superficial women? - 2/15/2014 11:52:45 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thinkyoucanhang

Quit beating a dead horse here folks.

Ever think I'm SICK of people telling me how to act? I'm not going to change just because you're uncomfortable.

Quit ignoring me or acting like I'm invisible in public, then I won't act out. It's that simple.


Ever think that people might be sick of the rude way you behave? That they shouldn't have to put up with your temper tantrums? If you want respect, it generally helps to treat others with respect. Why should anybody change just because you demand it?

Have you ever considered that people treat you like you are invisible because they ignore your rude behaviour deliberately because they don't want to embarrass you any further, maybe out of pity? Because if you would be able bodied, I guarantee you that this kind of behaviour (especially screaming x-rated abuse) would have them call shop security, who in turn would hand you over to the cops, if not worse.

There are countless people in chairs and they are treated like the rest, they usually mind their P's and Q's like everybody else and don't use vile language to get attention.

Now since you seem to run into this problem constantly, there is only one constant in it, that would be you, have you ever considered that your behaviour is actually what causes all of this?

As somebody else said, you deserve the thanks of your nation and compensation, you don't deserve anybody's submission just because you want it, you have to find somebody who thinks you are worthy of their submission, now if your behaviour is that of a spoiled child who throws a temper tantrum if it doesn't get what it wants, that won't inspire submissive feelings or attraction in most women.

Relationships are a two way street, it's all about what you want, yet not a lot about what you can offer, and pretending to have Tourette's doesn't seem like an irresistible dominant talent. Just saying...



_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to evesgrden)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Shallow/superficial women? - 2/15/2014 12:53:48 PM   
thinkyoucanhang


Posts: 24
Joined: 1/31/2014
Status: offline 		In case you haven't figured it out, I'm ONLY RUDE AFTER THE FACT. Not vice versa. Ignore me, THEN I'll get attention.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Shallow/superficial women? - 2/15/2014 1:06:17 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		... nope not worth my sanity!

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


(in reply to thinkyoucanhang)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Shallow/superficial women? - 2/15/2014 1:09:41 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thinkyoucanhang

In case you haven't figured it out, I'm ONLY RUDE AFTER THE FACT. Not vice versa. Ignore me, THEN I'll get attention.


At times you should consider me the E.F. Hutton on the boards, this is one of those times.

You interact, unafraid, and not timidly on the boards. We all get that you're carrying some heavy shit, but you need to understand that YOU. ARE. NOT. AN. ISLAND. in this. Most people on this side have heavy burdens and/or vast knowledge. It's a process for processing, and we get this amazing yin/yang energy from one another. Many of our people here are knowledgable and, often, expert in their fields, practice, and/or skills.

You could become a valuable contributor to the boards once your bitter transcends into empathy. You can ride your crutch and woe is me for the rest of your life, or as MP stated, you can become part of the solution. As I said before, your profile is "I, I, I, me, me, me" you have no depth, offer nothing, only suggestions for scenarios.

You can become proactive in your well being, as per MP's suggestion, or you can become proactive in the pursuit of what you're looking for. Again, substance is the ERA of this real estate, and empathy is far more productive and valuable over bitter.

Jus sayin
Exiled


_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to thinkyoucanhang)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Shallow/superficial women? - 2/15/2014 1:11:13 PM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline 		Can you believe this has gone on for five pages yet?

Ditch this thread. I'll bet you might get some better advice and mileage at a local BDSM private club if you get over this place, workout some to build back the chest and arms and put on a calm, confident look, wear some dark black to contrast with the that red wheel chair use it to do some serious spanking and even some other torments to the lovely ladies you meet at the local bdsm club.

Hey, what is the story behind cruising in the snow with no shirt?

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to thinkyoucanhang)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Shallow/superficial women? - 2/15/2014 1:15:42 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thinkyoucanhang

In case you haven't figured it out, I'm ONLY RUDE AFTER THE FACT. Not vice versa. Ignore me, THEN I'll get attention.


In case you haven't figured it out, you brag about being rude, so I very much doubt that you are only rude after the fact.

Listen, you are in a chair, a lot of people are in a chair, you're alive, others aren't.

You know what lupus is? Auto-immune disease, bit of a ticking time bomb, sometimes causes major problems, and yes, been through phases where I hated my life and the world, I regret those phases, because I'll never ever get the time back, it's just one of those things that life hands you, no choice in it like you had no choice to be in a chair. Sometimes when it flares up, I have a horrible red rash all over my body and face, and it's damned painful, I get weird looks, I get weird comments, and I admit sometimes I want to slap the people who make shit comments, but it's not going to make me feel any better, if I'm in a particularly vile mood, I tell them it's contagious and giggle a bit at their fear (which by the way it's not, auto-immune problem, my body attacks it's own cells), but usually I just ignore them, why waste my time with idiots? Doesn't break out very often, but no guarantee that it won't become internal and won't shut my organs down. I could waste every waking moment worrying about that or I can live my life to the fullest. And what guarantee do I have that I might not die in some freak accident while crossing the road?

So what are you going to do Sparky? Be angry at the world because you're in a chair, or embrace life and try to make friends?

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to thinkyoucanhang)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Shallow/superficial women? - 2/15/2014 1:18:45 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thinkyoucanhang

In case you haven't figured it out, I'm ONLY RUDE AFTER THE FACT. Not vice versa. Ignore me, THEN I'll get attention.

That's not accurate. No one in the forums did anything to you, yet you felt the need to have a rant here.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to thinkyoucanhang)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Shallow/superficial women? - 2/15/2014 1:19:21 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thinkyoucanhang

In case you haven't figured it out, I'm ONLY RUDE AFTER THE FACT. Not vice versa. Ignore me, THEN I'll get attention.


The potential problem with that is I am not sure you should be trusting your perceptions on when you think you are being ignored.
Just because someone doesn't see you or does not immediately respond to you it does not mean you are being ignored.
And it certainly does not mean that any disrespect to you or other disabled Veterans is intended.

It may mean they simply do not see you or something else has their attention.
Big difference.

You still have unread mail.
Check your bulk folder.
Go to New Messages and click on that.
At the top you will see 3 boxes:
Received Mail, Sent Mail and Bulk Mail.
Click on Bulk Mail.

Or feel free to ignore it.


(I won't mention it again.)



_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to thinkyoucanhang)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Shallow/superficial women? - 2/15/2014 1:25:28 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

I'll bet you might get some better advice and mileage at a local BDSM private club



Putting on an act to behave like he has Tourette's and calling people names to get attention wouldn't get him any further than being shown the door in most clubs.

quote:

One can't forget the Mentally Handicapped with Tourette's act I pull! When sales people ignore me, I roll my head to the side limply, over emphasize my mostly paralyzed arm/hand and yell loudly, "THUPID BITH! NUMB CUNT, WHORE!" (for females) or "COCKTHUCKER, ASSWIPE DICKHEAD!" (for guys) then in a normal tone I ask if I got their attention now?


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Shallow/superficial women? - 2/15/2014 1:37:12 PM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

I'll bet you might get some better advice and mileage at a local BDSM private club



Putting on an act to behave like he has Tourette's and calling people names to get attention wouldn't get him any further than being shown the door in most clubs.

quote:

One can't forget the Mentally Handicapped with Tourette's act I pull! When sales people ignore me, I roll my head to the side limply, over emphasize my mostly paralyzed arm/hand and yell loudly, "THUPID BITH! NUMB CUNT, WHORE!" (for females) or "COCKTHUCKER, ASSWIPE DICKHEAD!" (for guys) then in a normal tone I ask if I got their attention now?




I don't think anyone would disagree with your statement. Certainly not me. Nonetheless, getting away from this environment and cleaning up and going out to the club and using that chair for free spankings with his good had by a smiling confident muscle bound Vet wearing dark will work wonders for his ego and his goals and a few female cheeks.

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Shallow/superficial women? - 2/15/2014 1:41:10 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas
Can you believe this has gone on for five pages yet?

Ditch this thread. I'll bet you might get some better advice and mileage at a local BDSM private club if you get over this place, workout some to build back the chest and arms and put on a calm, confident look, wear some dark black to contrast with the that red wheel chair use it to do some serious spanking and even some other torments to the lovely ladies you meet at the local bdsm club.

Hey, what is the story behind cruising in the snow with no shirt?

Not a bad suggestion but probably one that would have to be worked out with the wife at home, first.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Shallow/superficial women? - 2/15/2014 1:42:39 PM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline 		Check my previous post out and write us, I can give you a few tips on what happens in the clubs and how you can get involved in one even if you are unknown at first and how things work and how with some knowledge, the right attitude and the right goals you can make this work for you.

But ditch this thread first, that's the only thing I ask in return.
Well wishes from a Vet...

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to thinkyoucanhang)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Shallow/superficial women? - 2/15/2014 2:13:12 PM   
MisterP61


Posts: 1345
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thinkyoucanhang

In case you haven't figured it out, I'm ONLY RUDE AFTER THE FACT. Not vice versa. Ignore me, THEN I'll get attention.

Tell you what dude. Since you obviously ignored My last post on this thread. I would only have to see you do that once (the rude after the fact bull shit), for Me to walk up to you and tell you exactly what I feel about a Vet who acts like We should all bow down and kiss his ass. Not going to happen brother. It has been said already. YOUR disability is not your wheelchair. It is you NOT getting the fuck out of your own way, and finding the solution. I stand by My you need to get the help for the PTSD, but that is not a valid reason (nor are any of your others) for acting the fool.

_____________________________

Proudly married to the "Diva of Destruction" LadyPact
Though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore - Of Monsters and Men
What is the maximum effective range of an excuse? Zero meters!

(in reply to thinkyoucanhang)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Shallow/superficial women? - 2/15/2014 2:49:49 PM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thinkyoucanhang

In case you haven't figured it out, I'm ONLY RUDE AFTER THE FACT. Not vice versa. Ignore me, THEN I'll get attention.

You are completely missing the point.

There is no need to be rude AT ALL.
That's what people are telling you.

(in reply to thinkyoucanhang)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Shallow/superficial women? - 2/15/2014 3:05:40 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thinkyoucanhang
In case you haven't figured it out, I'm ONLY RUDE AFTER THE FACT. Not vice versa. Ignore me, THEN I'll get attention.

Hi again. Just thought I'd share something else with you.

I wasn't always married to the other half that I have today. Actually, My ex-husband was in a chair for a time. (It was a workplace related thing and it was only temporary.) I do get what you are saying about folks in chairs being overlooked, at times. It does happen in stores, restaurants, etc. I've seen it, so I do get where you're coming from. Kind of why I told you the story about how some folks in chairs honestly do get frustrated because people see *just* the chair. Believe Me. I get it.

There's been some talk between this thread and the other one about PTSD. I've had reason to have to deal with someone who had that, too, and I know what it can do to a person. It can warp you into a person that you might not want to be.

Yes, I'm also aware that the VA sucks. From a practical standpoint, it's a case of being overwhelmed and too many needs for limited resources. Just from what I see, that was a pretty over the top reaction to an email from somebody you didn't even really know. On your side, it's probably more like the straw that broke the camel's back, but if the burden is that heavy, maybe it's time to look at it and get some help for it.

BDSM and sex are a lot of fun. Hell, it's what I'd be doing today if My submissive wasn't ill. You wouldn't have seen Me here at all because I'd be off doing what it is that I do.

But, it doesn't fix things. It might help momentarily (remember, I began this with saying it's fun and I'm all for that) but the burden is still going to be there when you're done. Is it possible that you might need some help to be more mentally healthy, along with what you have to do for your physical needs? You might not. You know you better than I do, but is it possible?



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to thinkyoucanhang)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Shallow/superficial women? - 2/15/2014 10:04:05 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Please don't tell the op to go to a bdsm club. Imo, he's dangerous. I'd be afraid to be spanked by the guy that he would get angry over nothing at all.

He should not be playing with anyone. He should be working on his marriage and his PTSD before doing anything else at all.



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Shallow/superficial women? - 2/15/2014 10:22:54 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

If I could, I would allow every single service man to motorboat my boobs, just as a thank you. And this is from a celibate woman so nuff said. I'm pretty sure I'mnot the only person who feels that way. I have a cute little asian gf (won't name drop without her consent) who is specifically attracted to older daddies in the military for age play. (She looks like a cute little asian doll/loli)
Just a gorgeous girl with great style and such captivating beauty and intelligence.
I am so in love with this girl and so envious of the Dom who gets her so maybe you're just not connecting with those who ADORE military men within the lifestyle?
Just a thought... :)


Hmmmmmmmmmmmm....does that include those of us who served in the 70's? I was Airborne, by the way.

(in reply to GoddessManko)
Profile   Post #: 100
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