RE: Limits and Judgements (Full Version)

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Kedikat -> RE: Limits and Judgements (7/7/2006 1:41:46 AM)

I can see a reason. Maybe not what is your reason.
A submissive is definitely not a helpless person. Most subs choose to who and how far they will submit. The concept of diapers and infantilism is a far deeper level than just sub. It denotes a total lack of self control, self discipline, and ability to care at all for ones own self. I feel that is a much different level than a lot of the usual D/s relation.

It can be a more self fulfilling fantasy that is not sub at all. A total giving up of any responsibility for ones self, and actually being served in a way, by the one who might change the diapers etc....

It seems to me a very real line between sub and diaper fetish. For many reasons/motives/pleasures.



Caretakr -> RE: Limits and Judgements (7/7/2006 1:46:52 AM)

Not always, check out this link.
http://www.institute.blacksteel.com/effective_diaper_domination.htm

It can also be the extreme of enslavement Domination.

I can understand why being rendered that helpless would upset some-it goes way beyond the pale.



brightspot -> RE: Limits and Judgements (7/7/2006 2:20:43 AM)

*Fast Reply*
 
jali, I really have a hard time understanding the fetish to want to wear diapers and behave as an infant. Although I can see it as really needing/wanting to be loved as a mother would love her young offspring and I am sure there are many other variables. I still am somewhat uneasy about it though, which I think is triggers from my personal issues I have with incest.
Still I remain in the frame of mind that as long as it is SSC, whatever floats people's boats and gives them pleasure or meets and satisfies both parties involved it is really none of my business.
 
It is understandable to have a strong reaction and just let words fly from your finger tips, you know I understand that dilemma. I find you to be a very sweet person who takes great care to avoid hurting another's feelings, so I hope you will not be too hard on yourself. We are human and with that frailty we are going to make mistakes or do things we might afterwards feel somewhat ashamed about having done.
 
I wrote this when I was 17;
 
Perfection actually only exists of many,
many mistakes realized.
Mistakes from which one has processed and
learned a valuable lesson from so as not to
repeat them.
So if you have the idea you must be perfect,
you must first embrace your imperfections and 
allow yourself to make mistakes followed by self-forgivness.
(c) 
*Brightspot
Typo problem[&:]



LeatherBentOne -> RE: Limits and Judgements (7/7/2006 3:01:10 AM)

Level,

Thanx for putting a smile on my face and making my morning.  Your humor is delicious.

LeatherBentOne



Level -> RE: Limits and Judgements (7/7/2006 4:57:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LeatherBentOne

Level,

Thanx for putting a smile on my face and making my morning.  Your humor is delicious.

LeatherBentOne


Few things in the world make me happier than making someone else smile or laugh, so you have my thanks, as well [:)].



Level -> RE: Limits and Judgements (7/7/2006 4:58:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smythe

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

Yes Level,that would be the imagine-only not quite as cute.


Heh heh. Monkeys always make one's day brighter. [:D]




This is why women need to be in charge of things. As soon as men take over a thread the next thing you know...a monkey in a dress giving head. [:)]


Smythe




[:-] lol.......... but Smythe......... monkeys = good [8D]



feastie -> RE: Limits and Judgements (7/7/2006 5:04:21 AM)

I'm a little monkey girl
My hair has natural curl
I swing from the trees at night
My Mommy says I'm a big delight
I'm a monkey girl!!!




Sinergy -> RE: Limits and Judgements (7/7/2006 6:31:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadiesBladewing

I was deathly afraid of spiders -- any spiders from little tiny baby spiders to big old hairy tarantulas.


Personally, I adore the little 8 legged things.  Not to the point where I want to hold their legs, take windy walks, and gaze adoringly into each other's eyes at a wonderful sunset, but I can spend minutes of my life watching them build their web or hunt for things.  If I find one in my house I catch it in a jar and set it free outside.

On a more pertinent note, the earth would be knee deep in bugs if we didnt have spiders to do their extermination duties.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.



zumala -> RE: Limits and Judgements (7/7/2006 6:35:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadiesBladewing

...  Several years later (25 to be exact) I live with a woman who -adores- spiders. She doesn't let anyone in the house kill them, and insists that they have their own corners to live in (yes, she -does- make us share the house with "those things"). it's funny, though -- at first, I freaked out horribly, but they seem to know she likes them, so we've always had lots of them around -- especially the small tiger spiders (I don't know what they're really called, but they're striped and jump). These days, I still won't let one crawl on me, and I still get crabby if they get up on the computer monitor and roll those ugly little eyestalks at me -- but I don't freak out about it any more, and I don't lose sleep worrying about whether they're going to crawl on me. Shoot, I've even kept from panicking long enough when one -did- crawl on me to get the bugger outside (that's hard limit for me -- if they're going to live in the house, that -doesn't- mean they can touch my body!!!)

ZWD


Good morning, Lady Zephyr.  It sounds to me like your 'tiger spiders' are actually a small species of wolf spider.  Quite the little jumpers, aren't they?  Slightly hairy?
 
And to Jali...  Everyone is squicked by something.  I suppose you can try to find a way to lessen your disgust, or else just work on not reacting as much.  It's okay to avoid the topic if it's that bad for you, in my opinion.
 
zuma



agirl -> RE: Limits and Judgements (7/7/2006 7:54:26 AM)

Hello Slavejali,

It's often MUCH easier to rationalise something intellectually than to FEEL it.

I can understand a lot of what you've written regarding this particular issue, and popped off to read your initial reactions to it.

I also find it disappointing when I make rash comments or judgements. I am not happy with myself when I do this. BUT.....I am NOT always the good, kind, thoughtful, open-minded individual that I try to be and I never WILL be that person. I will only EVER be *in the process of*.

I realised a while ago that BEING open-minded and non-judgemental is many times harder to DO than to say.........When things do not affect or shake/challenge us TOO much, it's so much easier.

Often enough, our human fraility will be exposed and it's not a bad thing at all.....It's a prompt...makes us re-examine and look at ourselves a little more. Consider NEVER having to *catch yourself*....either you have reached a state of perfection that is amazing.....or you could be hugely deluded and blind.

We can't DO it in one huge leap. It's incremental.

If you have the capacity to see your own short-comings...........you truly do not need to punish yourself unduly.

With regards, agirl



Your desire to be a *good* person is the important thing, NOT the odd *foot-in-mouth* moment.





brightspot -> RE: Limits and Judgements (7/7/2006 8:02:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

I'm a little monkey girl
My hair has natural curl
I swing from the trees at night
My Mommy says I'm a big delight
I'm a monkey girl!!!




How do you find this helpful to jali, Monkey Girl?
Seems pretty rude and thoughtless to put this in a thread that is very serious to her[:'(].
 
*Brightspot



zumala -> RE: Limits and Judgements (7/7/2006 8:09:17 AM)

I'm pretty sure that feastie's silliness was in response to the previous 'monkey business' that began when someone posted the picture of the chimp in a tutu.  Sometimes weirdness breaks out in a thread.  Best way to shorten the distraction is to ignore it and not add to it.  (yes, I know I just added to it.  Usually I don't, and this will be the only time I point out the obvious on THIS particular topic [;)])
 
zuma



agirl -> RE: Limits and Judgements (7/7/2006 8:29:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: brightspot

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

I'm a little monkey girl
My hair has natural curl
I swing from the trees at night
My Mommy says I'm a big delight
I'm a monkey girl!!!




How do you find this helpful to jali, Monkey Girl?
Seems pretty rude and thoughtless to put this in a thread that is very serious to her[:'(].
 
*Brightspot


Some of the most serious discussions I've ever had with my Master, my sproglings and past partners have been punctuated with similar  silliness or lightheartedness...... it had the effect of breaking the tension and giving a little breathing space and occasionally an gave an indication that *things aren't that bad*..........s'not all bad, thoughtless or rude...lol

Regards, agirl



brightspot -> RE: Limits and Judgements (7/7/2006 9:26:32 AM)

[/quote]

Some of the most serious discussions I've ever had with my Master, my sproglings and past partners have been punctuated with similar  silliness or lightheartedness...... it had the effect of breaking the tension and giving a little breathing space and occasionally an gave an indication that *things aren't that bad*..........s'not all bad, thoughtless or rude...lol

Regards, agirl

[/quote]

Maybe that is appropriate to you and the people close to you but I didn't find it appropriate here considering the seriousness of this thread for jali.  
Maybe if Monkey Girl would have first addressed jali and her feelings expressed in the OP it would have been a little less rude and that goes for all who were enjoying the "monkeying" around.
But to post her little poem with out any regard for or response to jali in this thread I find just plain thoughtless and tacky.
 
*Brightspot



slavejali -> RE: Limits and Judgements (7/7/2006 9:36:17 AM)

I'm over the whole thing now, so I don't know whether my responses now will be valid for what I was feeling before...but wanted to thank everyone (I have been reading this thread and thinking and feeling things out since I created the topic)

quote:


Original: Caretakr
But-realizing that, and saying "wait a minute".


I think that is why I wanted to grab this and tear it apart inside me. Usually I can step back and say "wait a minute", the whole thing just intrigued me cause of the reaction I had, kinda just rose up before I knew what was happening. I usually don't miss much, so being taken off-guard by something like this that had control of me was "interesting" to say the least.

quote:


Quote: Sinergy
your "hard limit" is not really an issue, especially if your Master is fine with it. 


Yes, I agree with that.

quote:


Quote: MarieToo
but I dont understand why you are so reactive to being repulsed by something.
 

That's what I'm trying to figure out! *grin* I don't expect to ever embrace that kink, my main concern was with my reaction I couldn't control. So I kinda figured, if I could get down to the root cause for my distate for it, I would get rid of the part of me that took control and reacted negatively towards someone elses situation. Kinda like when you see a weed in a garden, you want to pull it out. I've been gardening for awhile now, so when I see a weed, cuz they are few and far between, I kinda get excited *grin*

quote:


Original: LadiesBladeWing
We all do the best we can,


That's all we can do huh [:)]

quote:
Original: Submotive
and there are going to be things i feel strongly about and may never truly understand.

 
I really dislike not understanding something...maybe that is part of why I wanted to tear this apart too....just to figure it out.

quote:


Original: Fawne
Don't we all have our biases and inhibitions?


...I guess


quote:
Original: Level
but the fact that you can identify it, and that you apologized to someone you felt you hurt means alot.

 
Yes, true, yet thats only part of the process hey...weed weed weed ....monkey in a tutu huh lol
 
quote:


Original: mnottertail
Perhaps your master will make you wear diapers in your Gi, when  next you go to class.......no one will know or notice.
Old people do it, young people do it.....why don't you do it...


Stop making me laugh, I'm trying to be serial, I mean serious  *grin*

quote:
Original Quote: Smythe
This is why women need to be in charge of things. As soon as men take over a thread the next thing you know...a monkey in a dress giving head. [:)]

 
hehe, you may have a point there [:)] 

quote:


Original: KediKat
It denotes a total lack of self control, self discipline, and ability to care at all for ones own self.


One of the feelings around this subject I was actually able to identify was a "lack of dignity"..weird huh.

quote:
Original: Brightspot
 wrote this when I was 17; 
Perfection actually only exists of many,
many mistakes realized.
Mistakes from which one has processed and
learned a valuable lesson from so as not to
repeat them.
So if you have the idea you must be perfect,
you must first embrace your imperfections and 
allow yourself to make mistakes followed by self-forgivness.
(c) 
*Brightspot

 
Wow, I really loved that, thankyou for sharing it [:)]




slavejali -> RE: Limits and Judgements (7/7/2006 9:45:35 AM)

quote:
Original: zumala
It's okay to avoid the topic if it's that bad for you, in my opinion.

 
Yes, I agree, which just brings me back to the question "Why did I HAVE to post"...ugh! lol

quote:
Original: agirl
It's a prompt...makes us re-examine and look at ourselves a little more.

 
Yes, exactly.



Caretakr -> RE: Limits and Judgements (7/7/2006 9:57:42 AM)

The back button is your buddy-I hit it about half the itme now.[;)]



Chrisie -> RE: Limits and Judgements (7/7/2006 10:00:51 AM)

Limits are our problem. Judgements are what we pass on to others unknowingly.



brightspot -> RE: Limits and Judgements (7/7/2006 10:01:52 AM)

I'm glad you are in better spirits jali.
 
Peace Out....
 
*Brightspot



Level -> RE: Limits and Judgements (7/7/2006 4:14:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: brightspot



quote:

Some of the most serious discussions I've ever had with my Master, my sproglings and past partners have been punctuated with similar  silliness or lightheartedness...... it had the effect of breaking the tension and giving a little breathing space and occasionally an gave an indication that *things aren't that bad*..........s'not all bad, thoughtless or rude...lol

Regards, agirl


quote:

Maybe that is appropriate to you and the people close to you but I didn't find it appropriate here considering the seriousness of this thread for jali.  
Maybe if Monkey Girl would have first addressed jali and her feelings expressed in the OP it would have been a little less rude and that goes for all who were enjoying the "monkeying" around.
But to post her little poem with out any regard for or response to jali in this thread I find just plain thoughtless and tacky.
 
*Brightspot


Wow, what feastie said isn't nearly as bad as the horseshit you spewed in that other thread that has your hormones rockin'.
 
First you make fun of Pete's looks because you didn't like him giving photography tips in the other thread, now you call someone else names for a very short and simple and lighthearted post.
 
What's your problem?
 
Mr. Self-Righteous



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