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Level -> RE: Limits and Judgements (7/8/2006 11:52:08 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
using fast reply due to laziness....
Now that I have the time to reply to this thread properly I find that it has taken a suprising nasty turn which I find disappointing but I can also use to press my point.
Jali, thank you for this thread. I always enjoy your words, they make me think about things in a different light. Usually make me stop and go "hmmmm" and as in the case with this thread, want to think before typing.
My response is that while there are ALOT of things that make me say "hell no!!" I have been trying very hard to think why I have that reaction. Some things I know, will never change my feeling and will always pass a certain amount of judgment on those that would because of my own morals. To ME, there are just some things that will always be "sick and wrong". Fortunately they are few and I believe most people share the same ick on them. Then there is a whole bunch of other stuff that falls in my personal category of "anything between two consenting adults" category that still makes me go "EWWWWW" and want to pass judgement. Those are the things that I am trying very hard to stop before the kneejerk reaction and ask myself why. Granted I am not always sucessful but I keep trying. I am guessing that this diaper issue kind of falls into this category for you. My opinion is that, the very fact that you are examining your reaction and feelings speaks volumes about the kind of person you are. Many would take the approach that because it bothers them its wrong and therefor have a blanket stance that it is wrong for everyone because you don't like it. Wether this is the best way of handling it or not I don't know but for me, I know that there will always be some things that are a "hell no!" for me but for others its a "whatever floats your boat". Because they give me an icky feeling I just avoid focusing on the subject and move on.
Now as to the other bit of nastiness. my opinion is rather the same as the prior paragraph. I often see behaviour in the forums that rankles me. My first reaction is to get all snarky and cause trouble. I am TRYING very hard to avoid that. Why? Because to me its childish and shows a lack of self control and maturity. NOT to be confused with tongue-in-cheek humour though there is often a strong blurring of boundary there I acknowledge. Quite often I use humour to attempt to defuse a situation that I feel has gotten way out of hand and help others to see things from a less emotional perspective. Very VERY rarely do I see humour in the threads as being intentionally disrespectful unless the inital OP was to begin with. That certainly was not the case here. To sum my feelings up, what I am trying to say is that IF I find something offensive that others do not I try to self examine WHY, rather than make a fool of myself by firing off a volley of negative attitude. Even if I had years of experience in real life and was a member of collarme from the beginning I would feel it wrong of me to determine myself the collarme-forum police. This site is for everyone that wishes to participate. If it bothers me I can stop coming here, that is my choice. I chose for now, to use it as a learning tool. Also, it is a pleasurable way to pass the time when work is slow. I will not appologise if someone finds that offensive. I know that like this thread, if there is something I wish to say that is serious and important I will wait and devote my full attention rather than make a lighthearted silly comment. That being said, it is still not mine nor anyone else's place to determine how anyone else utilizes this free site. We all have the choice to turn the computer off.
Good afternoon, Tigresse [:)]. I find much wisdom in what you wrote above, and it gives me a chance to state to jali, and to some others, that I hope my attempts at humor are not taken offensively; they certainly aren't meant to be in most every case. I see the boards as a conversation, with a place for a bit of everything, including laughter. A brief diversion for humor doesn't mean that the original topic isn't worthy of serious and deep thought, nor that the time for that thought is over.
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