quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

I think that would be Mr. Self-righteous Asshole of Smugness, wouldn't it?

Yes, but I don't want all of you to get overly tired typing all that, so "hey you" will suffice in a pinch .

quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50

Who is Ray?

I asked you first.

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

pokes Smughole in his email account.

Ut! Whatsamattafor you........

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

using fast reply due to laziness....

Now that I have the time to reply to this thread properly I find that it has taken a suprising nasty turn which I find disappointing but I can also use to press my point.

Jali, thank you for this thread. I always enjoy your words, they make me think about things in a different light. Usually make me stop and go "hmmmm" and as in the case with this thread, want to think before typing.

My response is that while there are ALOT of things that make me say "hell no!!" I have been trying very hard to think why I have that reaction. Some things I know, will never change my feeling and will always pass a certain amount of judgment on those that would because of my own morals. To ME, there are just some things that will always be "sick and wrong". Fortunately they are few and I believe most people share the same ick on them. Then there is a whole bunch of other stuff that falls in my personal category of "anything between two consenting adults" category that still makes me go "EWWWWW" and want to pass judgement. Those are the things that I am trying very hard to stop before the kneejerk reaction and ask myself why. Granted I am not always sucessful but I keep trying. I am guessing that this diaper issue kind of falls into this category for you. My opinion is that, the very fact that you are examining your reaction and feelings speaks volumes about the kind of person you are. Many would take the approach that because it bothers them its wrong and therefor have a blanket stance that it is wrong for everyone because you don't like it.  Wether this is the best way of handling it or not I don't know but for me, I know that there will always be some things that are a "hell no!" for me but for others its a "whatever floats your boat". Because they give me an icky feeling I just avoid focusing on the subject and move on.

Now as to the other bit of nastiness. my opinion is rather the same as the prior paragraph. I often see behaviour in the forums that rankles me. My first reaction is to get all snarky and cause trouble. I am TRYING very hard to avoid that. Why? Because to me its childish and shows a lack of self control and maturity. NOT to be confused with tongue-in-cheek humour though there is often a strong blurring of boundary there I acknowledge. Quite often I use humour to attempt to defuse a situation that I feel has gotten way out of hand and help others to see things from a less emotional perspective. Very VERY rarely do I see humour in the threads as being intentionally disrespectful unless the inital OP was to begin with. That certainly was not the case here. To sum my feelings up, what I am trying to say is that IF I find something offensive that others do not I try to self examine WHY, rather than make a fool of myself by firing off a volley of negative attitude. Even if I had years of experience in real life and was a member of collarme from the beginning I would feel it wrong of me to determine myself the collarme-forum police. This site is for everyone that wishes to participate. If it bothers me I can stop coming here, that is my choice. I chose for now, to use it as a learning tool. Also, it is a pleasurable way to pass the time when work is slow. I will not appologise if someone finds that offensive. I know that like this thread, if there is something I wish to say that is serious and important I will wait and devote my full attention rather than make a lighthearted silly comment. That being said, it is still not mine nor anyone else's place to determine how anyone else utilizes this free site. We all have the choice to turn the computer off.

Good afternoon, Tigresse . I find much wisdom in what you wrote above, and it gives me a chance to state to jali, and to some others, that I hope my attempts at humor are not taken offensively; they certainly aren't meant to be in most every case. I see the boards as a conversation, with a place for a bit of everything, including laughter. A brief diversion for humor doesn't mean that the original topic isn't worthy of serious and deep thought, nor that the time for that thought is over.

quote:


Grand High Pooba Asshole?? Do I get a fancy hat?

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

slavejali:
... But damn, I dont think theres anything wrong with being repulsed by something.  Your feelings are valid for one reason or another, even if its some subconscious memory thats buried some where in the recesses of your mind. ...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50

Who is Ray?

I asked you first.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:


Grand High Pooba Asshole?? Do I get a fancy hat?

Hi, Level...

Will this one do?  <evil grin>  *runs off giggling*

<image deleted>

quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

slavejali:
... But damn, I dont think theres anything wrong with being repulsed by something.  Your feelings are valid for one reason or another, even if its some subconscious memory thats buried some where in the recesses of your mind. ...

I didn't read her as being overly critical of her own emotional response. That is to say over her feelings of repulsion in this. She did seem to say that she would like to work toward more harmony between her beliefs and her knee-jerk reaction. You may agree or disagree and I'd be interested to read what you'd have to say, but this doesn't seem unhealthy to me.

It doesnt seem unhealthy to me either, Noah.  But working to be less reactive to things that turn you off is not the same as *over* reacting or beating oneself up over having a distaste for something.  I could  be misreading jali.   Reading her words, I felt a sense of urgency that struck me as an over reaction.  Its only text and I dont know the woman, but that was the feeling I took away from it.  as did a few others who basically said the same thing that I did. (which is rare) lol. 

That harmony could come in accepting and retaining her aversion to the activity but behaving in a way more accepting of other people's kinks, within reason.

Agreed.  And I think she dealt with  this when she apologized for her "knee-jerk" reaction on the other post.  I guess we could all use some refinement in that area, whether it be accepting of others kinks, opinions, beliefs, or what have you. 
 

Jali did seem chagrinned that her outward behavior in posting--as opposed to her internal response--crossed a line that she believes is worth staying behind. That's a different kettle of fish than beating one's self up over one's emotions.

Again, I agree with your intitial statement completely.  But I got the impression that she was beating herself up over it.  We all jump from time to time like that in reaction to something we feel.  She felt it was wrong, and she apologized.  But to keep going on about it, so much so as to start a thread about it (combined with her tone) indicated to me that she was being  uneccessarily hard on herself.  

Jali clearly appreciates the difference between voicing one's distaste for something--which as you say is fine--on the one hand, and on the other hand accusing anyone who disagrees with you on this of needing therapy--not based upon any reasonable, objective clinical evidence but just because they get off on what you don't like.

Yes, I think she does also.  Of course, I cannot speak for her in any of my thoughts here. I can only speak from the *impression* that I get from reading her. 


ps: Im sorry about the colors. Im not clear on how to "box" off pieces out of the post.  I think its clear that I responded in red.
 
marie

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania


As to the other posts... Level, Mr SmugHole.... I found your humiliation of that poor monkey nonconsensual kink, and not all of us Simians are completely hairy...(my childhood nickname is monkey).

But Mr. Jingles wanted to dress up *laughing*.

As to RavenMuse.... I hope it is a long time coming that you quit posting.

Agreed on that. (And IronBear too).

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:


Grand High Pooba Asshole?? Do I get a fancy hat?

Hi, Level...

Will this one do?  <evil grin>  *runs off giggling*

<image deleted>