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RE: The Hypocrisy - 2/22/2014 12:50:58 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Sounds like you're already answering your own question. And I have to agree with you. No need to dwell on it, just dust yourself off and on to the next. There are LOTS of them out there.

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You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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Profile   Post #: 41
RE: The Hypocrisy - 2/22/2014 12:51:50 PM   
Jewishprincess22


Posts: 19
Joined: 8/15/2013
Status: offline 		He's spent over 1,000 to come and see me next month..

(in reply to Killerangel)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: The Hypocrisy - 2/22/2014 12:53:49 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline 		Do you think having him come visit will change anything on how you're feeling about things?

(in reply to Jewishprincess22)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: The Hypocrisy - 2/22/2014 12:54:11 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		So you feel obligated? Do you think you should give him a blow job for his troubles as well?

Its a month away, tell him now so he can refund his tickets.

(in reply to Jewishprincess22)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: The Hypocrisy - 2/22/2014 12:58:34 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

So you feel obligated? Do you think you should give him a blow job for his troubles as well?

Its a month away, tell him now so he can refund his tickets.


Agreed.

When men buy you dinner, do you fuck them? Tell him now- he can try to recoup his expenses, get back on the schedule for work or whatever. Better that then having him come out and spend over $1,000 having a miserable time. I'm not sure he'd consider it worth the thousand even if you did put out, that's a lot of money and he can probably spend a couple hundred locally on a pro getting laid instead and save money.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: The Hypocrisy - 2/22/2014 12:59:02 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jewishprincess22

So, maybe I should pay attention more to the special attributes he has? Because those are hard to find.


Seriously, reliable and all that, those are the basics I expect from a relationship, even a friendship, if that isn't there, it's a no go.

But the anti-gay stuff (like we hadn't intolerance of it in the past and it did little to eliminate people simply being born that way, isn't he aware that straight people have gay children?) and a bunch of other stuff would simply drive me nuts. If they drive you nuts now, I wouldn't even entertain the thought of a relationship, it will grate on you every day and you just waste years with somebody who you eventually come to hate. I think you can do a bit better.

Hell, tell him, the sooner the better, you don't want to be stuck for days with a person you really don't have much in common with.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

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(in reply to Jewishprincess22)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: The Hypocrisy - 2/22/2014 1:02:59 PM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jewishprincess22
I don't care about that. What I care about is a man that tells me how to eat when I've gone to multiple nutritionists and have done a lot of research and have lost 45 pounds. I'm dealing with my last ten (that I've LOST BEFORE). I don't need a guy that is going to mess up my eating habits because he believes jello is empty calories before even knowing what I eat the rest of the day. Ignorance and its finest.

Sorry jp, your 'dom' is sounding more and more like a classic "do-me-dom" that is inexperienced, hasn't a clue what he's on about, and spouting straight from the school book of online porn.

If this tiny thing and his attitude is already getting up your hosepipe while he beats his uber-domly chest and telling you to do it his way or the highway and your voice counts for nothing.... it's time to get out.

Oh sorry... you haven't even met yet.
Good. Don't meet him.
Tell him you two just aren't compatible and for him to sling his uber-domly hook into someone else.
He isn't even meeting you halfway on basic things that mean something to you as a person.
Time to cut all communication and forget him - he isn't worth it.
There are plenty out there with a better attitude that will meet your basic criteria.

(in reply to Jewishprincess22)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: The Hypocrisy - 2/22/2014 1:09:00 PM   
Apocalypso


Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
Status: offline 		If he's already annoying you and you haven't even met yet, you'd want to kill him by the end of a visit.

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If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
As revealed to Saint John the Divine.

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: The Hypocrisy - 2/22/2014 1:46:09 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		You've already disrespected him in so many different ways that I'm surprised he even wants you. I'd call that desperation. You should move on. He will soon enough if you continue in the way you are with him.

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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: The Hypocrisy - 2/22/2014 1:52:40 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline 		OP, use the base premise that both sides have to be able to listen well and discuss respectfully. Consider your own approach, if in doubt ask a few people who know you well. If you're being reasonable and he isn't, then the rest falls into place on its own.

People disagree all the time, but how they handle that disagreement shows how well you will interact. (Again, it goes both ways.)

I would point out that not everyone implements rationality and sensibility in every opinion expressed. Some things will seem hypocritical, and of course you don't have to agree with every opinion - and in these cases the main consideration should be the significance of the disparity in relation to your own views. That will also help things to fall in place much easier.


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There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: The Hypocrisy - 2/22/2014 2:05:31 PM   
Jewishprincess22


Posts: 19
Joined: 8/15/2013
Status: offline 		I think I'm just going to tell him now so he can try to refund his ticket and everything else...

(in reply to RemoteUser)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: The Hypocrisy - 2/22/2014 2:27:49 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jewishprincess22
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
If jello was your biggest incompatibility, I would say you had it made in the shade. We should all be so lucky. But letting jello be your first excuse to call him stupid on a public forum is a sure sign that the fat lady is signing and it's over . . . and that isn't even a core issue like poly, gay sex, intelligence or respect.

Speaking of respect, do you realize how complaining publicly, displaying ill manners and disrespect for a person you say would "definitely be there for you" and you chose to have a relationship makes you look? That is quite a collection of of bad choices you got going on.

Advice? I presume you already plan to cut your loses and bail because being Jewish and seeing BDSM in the same light can never be enough to cause you to follow someone you don't respect.

I believe explaining things from point a to b is important. I did not give out his name, I want advice. It's not making me look bad at all. We don't have a relationship yet, we haven't even met yet. I am being resourceful. Sorry that bothers YOU.

Well bless your heart, it was no bother at all. I was under the impression that saying "has paid a lot of money to come out and visit me" meant he actually visited you, as in dating. To me, dating is a form of relationship.

Bashing someone and his family in your OP, on a thread titled The Hypocrisy and asking us to talk to you about it doesn't feel like you "want advice". Seems more like asking for emotional rescue. Your OP wasn't unbiased. It didn't say you really like the guy but you clash on certain viewpoints and ask if we thought you could overcome a difference in your views.

Instead, your OP portrays that you feel he is a narrow minded, hypocritical dimwit with a family full of dumbass underpaid teachers. The OP is disrespectful, heavily biased against him, his family and displays exactly how much you don't like either of them. It feels more like your OP is looking for confirmation on a decision you already made to dump him, not serious unbiased advice to help with a decision that is in the balance. Did I miss anything?

Are you asking our advice whether or not to hook up with a dimwit after bashing him? Because later in the thread you get advice not to hook up and you say "many attributes about him are so hard to find". Seriously, dimwits with dumbass families are a quite common. Not hard to find at all. Besides, it doesn't matter if we think he is a douche-bag. It matters what you think of him. Either you think he is a dimwit or he isn't. Which is it? If we had a debate about gay sex, psychology, polyamory and Jello, would our conclusions really sway your opinion of him or change the destiny of your yet to be relationship? What if somehow we prove diet Jello really did have empty calories, is that gonna' make you want to blow him?

I think ChatteParfaitt said it best as far as unbiased advice for sane relationships, "What makes us compatible is that we don't expect to agree on everything, it's not necessary for our success". You say you both feel comparable on the BDSM stuff and you have culture and religious common ground. A good question to ask yourself is that if his judgment "seems ignorant", he has a "flawed point of view" and in general you "question his intelligence", will you trust his judgment in other areas to lead the relationship? Think of this, even if you do date him and there is chemistry . . . will you be able to submit and follow the lead of someone that you don't have full respect for?

ETA: I had this reply laying open in the background for quite a while when I was working on something. I see many questions have been answered since then. Good thing . . . anyone that hates Jello can't be in their right mind!

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 2/22/2014 2:35:53 PM >

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I give good thread.

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: The Hypocrisy - 2/22/2014 2:36:19 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Shayna maydel...

You're Jewish and, it sounds, have traditional liberal Jewish values. Your profile says you're looking for a Jewish Dom.

Why not do a search by religion, especially since you're relocatable? Or go to the other site and look for the Jewish kink groups.

That said, learning to deal with minor incompatibility is part of what makes life work.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: The Hypocrisy - 2/22/2014 3:06:24 PM   
orgasmdenial12


Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
Status: offline 		You two are not compatible.

What's more, I kind of agree with him on some points - it's not like he's 100% wrong and you're 100% right. In fact, that's not even the problem. The problem is - you're both opinionated and argumentative, and that's never going to be a good combination.

I'm not judging you - I'm pretty opinionated myself, but for that reason I pair up with agreeable men, it makes for an easier, smoother, less stressful life.

Btw - miligram and stanford have been pretty conclusively debunked - google them.

(in reply to Jewishprincess22)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: The Hypocrisy - 2/22/2014 5:20:48 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		What did he spend $1000 on??? Geez, I haven't checked airfares in a couple years, have they risen that much or is he flying in from another country?

Just the fact that he's spending that much money on someone he's only known online a month makes me question his grip on reality, too. I hope he was going to stay in a hotel and not with you....

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to orgasmdenial12)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: The Hypocrisy - 2/22/2014 5:26:53 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes
What did he spend $1000 on???

That's not an unreasonable amount of money. Say three days in a 3.5 star hotel, which costs more than a coach flight most places within the continental US. Plus the ticket, plus a rental car, plus parking the car he owns at the airport, plus meals for him and the date, plus comedy club and ballet tickets to entertain her. Already, we're easily over a thou.

Him buying tickets a month out is an amateur move, though. Anything can happen in a month. If she's super horny when they webcam, he should fly out that weekend, if not the next day.

That said, neither of them sounds super mature in the dating department.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: The Hypocrisy - 2/22/2014 5:29:49 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Shayna maydel...

You're Jewish and, it sounds, have traditional liberal Jewish values. Your profile says you're looking for a Jewish Dom.

Why not do a search by religion, especially since you're relocatable? Or go to the other site and look for the Jewish kink groups.

That said, learning to deal with minor incompatibility is part of what makes life work.



Honestly, a guy who eats rubbish himself and tells me what I should eat, that would just not work.

Also his anti gay comments, I have a lot of gay friends, somebody who sees them as weird and unnatural just wouldn't be a good partner, there would be far too much friction. Chances are that everytime I hang out with them he'd throw a fit, I don't consider that minor.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: The Hypocrisy - 2/22/2014 5:31:15 PM   
OvidInDallas


Posts: 36
Joined: 2/18/2014
Status: offline 		She's in Vegas based on the profile. Tickets and a hotel would start pushing $1000 for a weekend.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: The Hypocrisy - 2/22/2014 8:17:31 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
Some men have contrarian, argumentative personalities. Question is, will he tone it down if you call him on it? If he is an older guy trying to establish a relationship with you and he is being persistently litigious, to me that is a red flag for self-absorption, IMO.

(in reply to Jewishprincess22)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: The Hypocrisy - 2/23/2014 1:32:54 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

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Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to Jewishprincess22)
Profile   Post #: 60
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