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RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 2/26/2014 7:13:37 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theitaliansub

hello Misses..it s my curiosity...how can I recognize a mistress? I mean how can I know only by looking at her if a woman is dominant or submissive? is it possible in your opinion? thank you in advance!


Ever hear of the hanky code? It was a discreet way of identifying if someone was Dom or sub in public. The reason it was necessary is that there is no way of identifying Domliness of subbicity otherwise.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to theitaliansub)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 2/26/2014 10:14:34 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Ever hear of the hanky code? It was a discreet way of identifying if someone was Dom or sub in public. The reason it was necessary is that there is no way of identifying Domliness of subbicity otherwise.

Does anyone still do this anymore that you've seen, DarkSteven, whether by non-hetero males or with leather folks? Not such a bad idea, I suppose, except that I kind of prefer to fly under the radar. Would not want to be approached at the airport while waiting to catch a flight.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 2/27/2014 6:27:56 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

There's also a matter of persona. What a woman projects in public may not be indicative of how she wants to behave in an intimate setting. I've met bossy women (not butch, that's a whole other ball park) who intimidate men in a business setting but who later confided they wanted a mate who wouldn't back down, a take-charge personality. You also can't go by whether they come across as a feminist. Very misleading. Many feminists are actually submissive.


When I inadvertently outed myself as a CM member at work, my coworkers assumed I was a Domme. In fact, I'm submissive (and a feminist.)

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 3/1/2014 11:32:09 AM   
dominalisa


Posts: 129
Status: offline 		DarkSteven, I have only heard of the hanky code being used by gay men in the past.
"The Hanky Code is a traditional form of signaling to others what your sexual preferences and interests are. Gay men used this code to communicate with each other in the noisy and distracting environment of gay bars."

TheItalianSub, no there's no way to tell if a woman in public is into bdsm or not, and if she's dominant or submssive in a relationship. Stay in kinky sites or munches and you'll have an easier time.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 3/1/2014 11:59:29 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Ever hear of the hanky code? It was a discreet way of identifying if someone was Dom or sub in public. The reason it was necessary is that there is no way of identifying Domliness of subbicity otherwise.

Does anyone still do this anymore that you've seen, DarkSteven, whether by non-hetero males or with leather folks? Not such a bad idea, I suppose, except that I kind of prefer to fly under the radar. Would not want to be approached at the airport while waiting to catch a flight.

Yes. I'm still leather. I still have My colors.

There really are still some of us left.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 3/1/2014 3:01:01 PM   
LeatherBentOne51


Posts: 89
Joined: 12/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact


quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Ever hear of the hanky code? It was a discreet way of identifying if someone was Dom or sub in public. The reason it was necessary is that there is no way of identifying Domliness of subbicity otherwise.

Does anyone still do this anymore that you've seen, DarkSteven, whether by non-hetero males or with leather folks? Not such a bad idea, I suppose, except that I kind of prefer to fly under the radar. Would not want to be approached at the airport while waiting to catch a flight.

Yes. I'm still leather. I still have My colors.

There really are still some of us left.


Indeed. lol

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 3/1/2014 5:24:47 PM   
pg4g


Posts: 296
Joined: 12/31/2013
From: Australia
Status: offline 		Every time I see the title for this convo I just think "Did you not see the 'Domme' tattooed on her forehead, and the crop in her hand? Isn't that Domme 101?"

_____________________________

Switching: the best of both worlds.

It ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. - Rocky Balboa

(in reply to theitaliansub)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 3/1/2014 10:02:13 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Yes. I'm still leather. I still have My colors.

There really are still some of us left.

That's what I thought. But not hankies, more like leather strips, right?

May I ask whether you would ever display in open public while you were out and about, or only at special events?

And if in public, would that signify that you are looking, or not necessarily?

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 3/2/2014 12:35:44 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
That's what I thought. But not hankies, more like leather strips, right?

May I ask whether you would ever display in open public while you were out and about, or only at special events?

And if in public, would that signify that you are looking, or not necessarily?

Before I attempt to answer, I want to thank you for asking in such a polite way. It's very appreciated.

Nope. It's still hankies. No leather strips. You might be thinking of club/event patches. Those are what most leather folks put on their vest.

Most leather skirts don't have back pockets. That means that most of the time when I go to an event, I can't really "flag". Flagging has become so complicated now with colors like puce and turquoise. I actually wrote a piece not too long ago that I titled, "I'm not walking into a leather bar with a color chart." When I first started, (and Lance is around here, somewhere) there were the six darn colors of the rainbow, white, black, and grey. That was it! Now there is something like sixty/seventy plus, and My middle aged brain can't keep track of that.

For really, really special events, I'll wear My earned leather. I got My cap six years ago and I don't wear it that much. Something has to be dang important to Me for Me to get it out.

Flagging is all about advertising what you are looking for as far as play. For example, I'm what folks would call a 'heavy top' (read as really sadistic b^tch) so I flag black. These days, whatever you're looking for, there's a color for it.

I really haven't flagged in the vanilla world up here. I mean, I do live in middle of nowhere Alaska, after all. Most folks up here would just think it's a rag for My nose. However, even in the vanilla world, most folks can peg Me for a kinky chick. Nobody can miss the purse. It's the foot portion of a stiletto boot with chains for strings. We've got a set of mini handcuffs hanging from the rear view mirror in the truck. It's a stereotype, but yeah, I love My healed leather boots. Not always practical here, but I can't give them up.

If I can answer anything else, please feel free to ask.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 3/2/2014 1:21:23 AM   
pg4g


Posts: 296
Joined: 12/31/2013
From: Australia
Status: offline 		Lol hanky code gets nuts... for example: I'd be black for heavy, olive drab for military, grey for bondage, teal for CBT... the list goes on... where the fuck do you put all these fucking HANKIES??? JUST ASK ME!

_____________________________

Switching: the best of both worlds.

It ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. - Rocky Balboa

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 3/2/2014 1:26:39 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		For the most part, I keep Mine in the dresser drawer. If I honestly flagged for everything I'm into, I'd probably put My back out because I had three inches worth of extra material shoved into one back pocket, rather than the other. Kind of like what guys say about the wallet messing them up when they sit for long periods of time.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to pg4g)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 3/12/2014 10:20:07 AM   
MaitresseErica


Posts: 9
Joined: 2/14/2004
Status: offline 		It's no secret that life is more complicated than just being able to look at the people around us and know exactly what we want to know about them. This is where communication comes in, and I can tell you that the farther we as people immerse ourselves in technology, the poorer our communication skills are becoming.

If you really want to know, it never hurts to just ask.

(in reply to theitaliansub)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 3/12/2014 7:03:31 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theitaliansub

hello Misses..it s my curiosity...how can I recognize a mistress? I mean how can I know only by looking at her if a woman is dominant or submissive? is it possible in your opinion? thank you in advance!


She has a top hat.

(Trust me on this).

(in reply to theitaliansub)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 3/16/2014 8:31:26 PM   
rosebuttninja


Posts: 13
Joined: 3/16/2014
Status: offline 		Just look and see if she is packing. If her pelvis looks like Darling Nikkie on the Lords of Acid Cover "Our Little Secret" then she is 99% domme :)

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 3/29/2014 9:20:25 AM   
Moonhead


Posts: 16520
Joined: 9/21/2009
Status: offline 		Isn't there a secret handshake?

_____________________________

I like to think he was eaten by rats, in the dark, during a fog. It's what he would have wanted...
(Simon R Green on the late James Herbert)

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 3/29/2014 9:30:03 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Moonhead

Isn't there a secret handshake?


It's a tattoo in a secret place ;) He could simply ask them to drop their clothes... I'm sure that made it easier...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Moonhead)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 3/29/2014 10:05:19 AM   
Moonhead


Posts: 16520
Joined: 9/21/2009
Status: offline 		I thought that was submissives, not tops...


_____________________________

I like to think he was eaten by rats, in the dark, during a fog. It's what he would have wanted...
(Simon R Green on the late James Herbert)

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 3/29/2014 12:51:50 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


quote:

ORIGINAL: evesgrden


quote:

ORIGINAL: theitaliansub

hello Misses..it s my curiosity...how can I recognize a mistress? I mean how can I know only by looking at her if a woman is dominant or submissive? is it possible in your opinion? thank you in advance!


Do people look at you a and know that you're submissive? Do you wear certain submissive clothes, or walk with a submissive posture, or have a weak personality and a meek or timid expression?






Interesting. A few women have claimed to recognise that I'm a sub, straight away. In vanilla settings, I mean.


Not to pick on Peon, I just find it humorous that anyone would think that a person with either a dominant or submissive personality would have ANY interest in a more kink oriented D/S and or M/S type relationship. It's not that simple.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 3/29/2014 3:32:11 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		FR

Femdoms tend to be much sweatier than vanilla women, I've noticed. They also tend to walk a bit like John Wayne.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 3/29/2014 3:37:43 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

FR

Femdoms tend to be much sweatier than vanilla women, I've noticed. They also tend to walk a bit like John Wayne.


How often do I have to tell you that Kia is not a femdom, she's striclty a findomme (or a treat and gimme your beer domme), and I know you are just in love with my Dobie girl because she gives such awesome CBT when she nudges you with her delicate snout!



_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 60
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