RE: how can I recognize a mistress?

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RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 4/8/2014 12:45:22 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic
<snip>
I have nothing to prove in my dominance.
Treat me as a human first.

(Originally posted 4/3/2014 8:51:23 AM--Got lost in the forum shuffle.)

Expressly, treat us like ladies, and to do that, you men need to (re)learn how to act like gentlemen.
As much as has been said about how a person's submissiveness is inspired by the other person's Dominance, a woman's more refined nature can be elicited forth by expressions of a man's more refined conduct towards her (and others). And vice versa.
This isn't about simple courtesies. This is about tapping into one's inner noblesse oblige.
There will be plenty of time to get down and dirty later on....

If there is a litmus test to ascertain dominance levels, here's an experiment of sorts.
For a Man: Be not only attentive in the moment, but be almost puppy-doggish, as appropriate, short of fawning. Offer to carry her bags, groceries, run an errand for her, generally be helpful.
A Dominant woman will be amused and warmed to this unexpected behavior, and find it secretly - or not so secretly - flattering. She will give subtle cues of encouragement, which could include involuntarily blushing.
A submissive woman will feel uncomfortable with it. She will instinctively pull back in a bodily response, jerk her head back or recoil.
A neutral or vanilla woman won't know what to make of it and will get confused as she assesses the situation. Possibly. Cease immediately before she starts getting alarmed.
This is independent of how dominantly a woman will act in a private, intimate setting, i.e., the bedroom, but it might raise the likelihood.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to Lucylastic)

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RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 4/8/2014 5:49:51 AM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

Opal, I have never had a reason to disagree with any of your posts in the past but I believe I have to with your litmus test. It might just be because I was raised in the country but most women, even younger girls, expect men to do things like be helpful. Open doors, carry bags, etc. Even aggressive country boys are taught it is the proper way to treat a lady.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

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RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 4/8/2014 7:12:59 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain

Opal, I have never had a reason to disagree with any of your posts in the past but I believe I have to with your litmus test. It might just be because I was raised in the country but most women, even younger girls, expect men to do things like be helpful. Open doors, carry bags, etc. Even aggressive country boys are taught it is the proper way to treat a lady.

You're right about where you were raised factoring into the equation, with cultural and generational divides. On the one hand, in more metropolitan suburban areas, there are women who will bite a man's head off for daring to offer his assistance (the misguided feminist types). In more rural areas and in the South-Midwest, folks tend to be more old-fashioned and community-oriented.
In Third World countries and in Asia (not sure how this works in Africa), men of a lower social standing are expected to ALWAYS lend assistance eagerly to women (not to mention any tourist or foreigner for tips).

What I had in mind specifically for this Italian male sub, is seeing as to how he is hanging out at airports, he could make himself useful offering to carry luggage and so forth, and it would not be culturally inappropriate. Although he might enjoy getting slapped in the face on occasion....

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to MissImmortalPain)

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Post #: 63

RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 4/8/2014 11:27:13 AM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Expressly, treat us like ladies, and to do that, you men need to (re)learn how to act like gentlemen.

As much as has been said about how a person's submissiveness is inspired by the other person's Dominance, a woman's more refined nature can be elicited forth by expressions of a man's more refined conduct towards her (and others). And vice versa.
This isn't about simple courtesies. This is about tapping into one's inner noblesse oblige.
There will be plenty of time to get down and dirty later on....

QFT, especially bold parts. Hear, hear.

Unfortunately, the average bear will have to look up 'noblesse oblige', but better late than never.

(in reply to FieryOpal)

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Post #: 64

RE: how can I recognize a mistress? - 4/8/2014 3:44:31 PM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

Well, yay for living in the country. Though to be honest I have been outside of this country and I have still always expected men to act a certain way. I have never spent time with ones that don't, of course I also tend to shun ones that don't act as I think they should. *side note* You also have to remember that I spend a great deal of time in a wheelchair so most people, not just men, tend to be polite. When they aren't I have a very bad habit of opening my mouth and asking them wtf is wrong with them.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to FieryOpal)

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Post #: 65