Darkcast
Posts: 62
Joined: 9/7/2008 Status: offline
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ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders I want sexual intimacy with my husband, so if I didn't see him in a sexual way, I never would have married him. That would still be true if he was awesome in every other respect, and if I could have all the sex I wanted elsewhere. Sex is an important part of my intimate relationships. Besides, the guys who lament the 'friend zone' don't want to be placed there permanently by having a no-sex marriage. They don't WANT a platonic relationship with her, otherwise just being friends would be fine. They want to be in her pants. Why would they get into an arrangement which guaranteed both that they were never going to get what they want, and that they are never going to be able to move on? From the woman's point of view, the only problem with the friend zone is the implication that she somehow owes a man sex because he's been nice to her. Having male friends is great. It's not a problem at all. Finding out those male friends are upset about being 'friendzoned' is hurtful, because they're essentially saying that I have no value as a friend, only as a potential sexual partner and our friendship has been a ruse. So yeh. Great for your friends but not something I can imagine catching on. I have to disagree with your comments about guys that lament the "friend zone." Not every guy that gets upset about being "friendzoned" sees the woman as a potential sexual partner. And thinking that is ridiculous. From a guy's point of view on the friendzone. Sometimes we really, honestly, believe, that the our friend is actually the one. And some of us just want one chance, that first date. If that spark turns out not to be there, fine at least we got the chance. If it leads to the woman realizing that the guy is maybe the one and thus it goes to a relationship that's more than friends that's also fine. We just want the chance. I'll throw a perfect example from my own life experience. I've had a crush on my best friend for the past 7 years (i met her 9 years ago in high school). Slowly over those first 2 years i've realized just how much we have in common, how much we're compatible together, how we can fight over stupid shit and just make up afterwards like it was nothing, how we're a perfect match. She's been there for me for my relationships, when i was feeling down, dumped, or just angry and she's listened. And I've been there for her through her ups and downs, watched her date douchebag after douchebag after douchebag, after crazy guy, after suicidal guy, after douchebag, and just sat in the backfield. I was there for her just to listen to her problems. If she was having relationship issues I was there just to listen. And for years she talks about how she always ends up dating the crazy ones, the liars, the abusers, the cheaters and how she can't find someone that's "normal" I've tried to get just one date with her, one chance for a romantic evening with her but me and her have this weird thing going where we never both seem to be single at the same time. Finally the opportunity happened. but when it came up it just seemed to get brushed off. I ended up doing the only thing I could think of doing to get my chance. I confessed my feelings for her. I told her I love her as more than a friend and all I wanted was one chance, one date. And I WAS NOT just saying that because in reality, it's true. I love her and honestly think she's the one. We're just compatible in every single way and just seeing her even for a brief second brings a smile to my face and makes my day. Heck I graduated High School a year before she did and would wake up in the morning and give her a ride to school just to see her for those brief 10 minutes. Why am I telling you guys all this? Because I'm trying to show my feelings for her. And I wish u could all see how I am around her because it's a lot easier to see my feelings than for me to put it into words. Anyway, after I told her I got the one response I dreaded. "I don't want to date you because I don't want it to ruin our friendship". Ok yes I've seen relationships where 2 friends start dating, it goes horribly wrong, and they're not friends anymore. But just because a relationship doesn't work out doesn't mean that 2 people still can't be friends. I've seen it, hell I've been in one with a childhood friend and me and her are still just as close today as we were before we started dating. And if I didn't truly love her I wouldn't be willing to put it all on the line because I wouldn't want to lose my best friend. But damnit I truly think she's the one. And even if it didn't work, I've never been an ass about a breakup and am still friends with most one my exes (....well all but 1 but that's a different story to tell where what she did was unforgivable) And in the end, not only was I told she would never date me, I didn't even get that one chance. Anyway, back to where this post started, Why am I telling you guys all of this? Because not every single guy that hates the friendzone wants to just get into a girls pants. Me, and I'm sure other guys out there, hate it because we'll never get that one chance to show we can be more than a friend. That we can be the one. /EndRant
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