RE: i need advice

RE: i need advice (Full Version)

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Arturas -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 7:37:46 AM)
I can only relate what I have learned throughout the years and that experience can be taken as you please. I suspect there are so many vanilla women here who are very sexy and very beautiful and like to post nice submissive women profiles and there is nothing wrong with that but none of those activities beats real world experience with many submissive women as a Dom. That is not a negative on you but at the same time you will perhaps forgive me if, while understanding where your post comes from, I am not moved.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 7:39:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arturas quote: Please also remember that if and when you do meet, treat them like any first date. You do not owe them anything just because they claim to be dominant. You don't have to fuck on the first date, get spanked, have photos taken, give him a bj in the back seat of his car etc. You're just two people sharing lunch or a coffee. In case anyone has not noticed, the number of submissive women who don't treat their newly found Dom as a "first date" is overwhelming compared to those who do. Sorry, that is the way it is. But, I applaud your consistency in posting that advice year after year. I'd say the majority of people who come to the forums upset because of a bad experience haven't treated the newly found dom as a first date. That only cements my opinion that it's a good idea to keep your vanilla standards intact. If a submissive wants to jump right into a power exchange or have kinky sex on the first date, fine, we're all adults. But I will continue to give this advice, especially to people like the OP who come off as a little naive, because I think it saves heartache. And truthfully, I wouldn't be interested in any dominant who wanted to start D/s from the first meeting - I'd think that either his standards are very low (not attractive) or he's unrealistic. 'Lots of people do it' doesn't mean it's a sensible thing to do.

Arturas -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 7:41:57 AM)
Great post.

angelikaJ -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 8:12:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arturas quote: things still follow the good old fashioned rules of dating that you already are acquainted with. Adding BDSM doesn't make it any different. See my answer to that above. While star got to know me very well before moving into a long term relationship, neither she or others followed "the old fashioned rules for dating" when meeting for the first time. I did meet Star over dinner and we were fully vanilla that night because she lost her babysitter, but that is not the rule with submissives and Doms when first meeting. I assure you, and even star was in "don't take me out to dinner but pull my hair and make me a woman" mode on the next date. It's the way it really is. That has everything to do with the type of women you are personally attracted to. Most women have a different sense of personal boundaries than the women who respond to you that way, and we don't want our hair (either literally or figuratively) pulled on the first or second dates. Just because your personal mileage varies, does not make it the norm.

Blonderfluff -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 9:24:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arturas I can only relate what I have learned throughout the years and that experience can be taken as you please. I suspect there are so many vanilla women here who are very sexy and very beautiful and like to post nice submissive women profiles and there is nothing wrong with that but none of those activities beats real world experience with many submissive women as a Dom. That is not a negative on you but at the same time you will perhaps forgive me if, while understanding where your post comes from, I am not moved. Fist of all, thank you for the compliment. I am very sexy and very beautiful. Second. I have many years of "real world experience". The problem with your stance is that you only have experience with the type of woman that would be attracted to the type of man you are. I can assure you, that is in no way "all" "most" or even "many"

MisterP61 -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 9:25:36 AM)
To the OP I hope you come back and read some of these responses. Good things being said here. I am not a fan of the "owned and collared in 10 minutes and never met" theory. You know that whole "I Tarzan, you Jane" thing. Just seems a little contrived and forced. I have seen first hand with My wife, LadyPact, how a good relationship with a sub is formed... over months of chats, meets and even play sessions. In My mind I see no other real way to know if there is any compatibility... you know... kind of like dating, like Athena said. Now lets move onto the man involved. Now this is an opinion and nothing more, but any man who after one talk with a female claims ownership... you really need to run as far and as fast as you can away from him. It really does sound like a "own and fuck" and when he is done wouldn't contact you again, leaving you even more confused and, perhaps, jaded. I vote he is married, but again, this is an opinion and not fact. you really did not give a whole lot of information to make any real sound call on this. Any Dominant worth anything will take the time to let the submissive get to know who they are, earn your trust (and, NO, there is no way this happens in one day) and make sure there is some sort of basis to start a dynamic in the first place. Wait, take your time, this does not have to be accomplished in any set amount of time. you will know when you are owned, and a Dominant wouldn't have to tell you to change your status. you would do it all on your own. ETC spelling

Arturas -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 11:17:15 AM)
quote: The problem with your stance is that you only have experience with the type of woman that would be attracted to the type of man you are. I can assure you, that is in no way "all" "most" or even "many" You mean the ones who flash lovely high heeled legs in bindings on their profile? Yes, I think you are correct at least on that point, eh?

sexyred1 -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 11:30:05 AM)
How ridiculous. What does her profile photos have to do with her explaining (yet again), that your limited experience with a few submissives is not representative of all submissive women? Your problem is that you only see your way as being true of others and you do not speak for all submissives or Doms for that matter. I find your posts are designed not to be helpful, but to constantly promote your own relationship. There is a way to use personal experience as an illustration along with objective advice and then there is just self promotion, which no one cares about but you. You are not the only poster who does that, and it's always annoying.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 11:37:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 How ridiculous. What does her profile photos have to do with her explaining (yet again), that your limited experience with a few submissives is not representative of all submissive women? Your problem is that you only see your way as being true of others and you do not speak for all submissives or Doms for that matter. I find your posts are designed not to be helpful, but to constantly promote your own relationship. There is a way to use personal experience as an illustration along with objective advice and then there is just self promotion, which no one cares about but you. You are not the only poster who does that, and it's always annoying. Since the rules on necro threads have changed, I'm sure we could shed quite a bit of light on peoples "one true wayism's". You never know who might have a STARing role in personal drama hell on these boards. Jus sayin Exiled

sexyred1 -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 11:40:09 AM)
Oh, yeah, I remember it well.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 11:42:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Oh, yeah, I remember it well. [sm=book.gif] Quite a read ;)

LafayetteLady -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 11:53:40 AM)
I, for one, would find that nearly as entertaining as "tap, tap"

ExiledTyrant -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 11:57:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady I, for one, would find that nearly as entertaining as "tap, tap" It mostly is... there are just no eggs in hoo-ha's, that I recall.

Blonderfluff -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 12:01:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Oh, yeah, I remember it well. [sm=book.gif] Quite a read ;) Wow. Just. Wow. Read it. Now I kinda feel sorry for...someone. Naah....

MasterRobert007 -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 12:06:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tendermercies17 hey i was wondering what i should do i havent really talked to my master in 2 days and im new. do i assume its over or do i continue to wait? If your Master hasn't contacted you it's over. Sorry.

Musicmystery -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 1:18:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tendermercies17 hey i was wondering what i should do i havent really talked to my master in 2 days and im new. do i assume its over or do i continue to wait? Are you 13? (no, I don't mean literally)

Arturas -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 3:35:03 PM)
quote: How ridiculous. What does her profile photos have to do with her explaining (yet again), that your limited experience with a few submissives is not representative of all submissive women? It's too bad you did not like my post. You have two choices. Ignore it or insult it or debate it. I would prefer you answer why my post is wrong. Now in response to you, I have found that being a submissive is liberating to the woman and they celebrate that state with their profile and with the right Dom they are not seeking to go to dinner as they could have done that on POF and that is regardless of what women feel they need to say in a public forum. It's the truth based on years of experience with many submissive women. You can be the exception and that does not bother me in the least bit but that does not make you something special over the women who are otherwise and they are the majority on the other side.

OsideGirl -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 3:38:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterRobert007 quote: ORIGINAL: tendermercies17 hey i was wondering what i should do i havent really talked to my master in 2 days and im new. do i assume its over or do i continue to wait? If your Master hasn't contacted you it's over. Sorry. They've had exactly one online conversation and never met....he's not her Master.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 3:40:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arturas quote: How ridiculous. What does her profile photos have to do with her explaining (yet again), that your limited experience with a few submissives is not representative of all submissive women? It's too bad you did not like my post. You have two choices. Ignore it or insult it or debate it. I would prefer you answer why my post is wrong. Now in response to you, I have found that being a submissive is liberating to the woman and they celebrate that state with their profile and with the right Dom they are not seeking to go to dinner as they could have done that on POF and that is regardless of what women feel they need to say in a public forum. It's the truth based on years of experience with many submissive women. You can be the exception and that does not bother me in the least bit but that does not make you something special over the women who are otherwise and they are the majority on the other side. 1. Ignore it. 2. Insult it. 3. Debate it. Who knew?

OsideGirl -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 3:43:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant quote: ORIGINAL: Arturas quote: How ridiculous. What does her profile photos have to do with her explaining (yet again), that your limited experience with a few submissives is not representative of all submissive women? It's too bad you did not like my post. You have two choices. Ignore it or insult it or debate it. I would prefer you answer why my post is wrong. Now in response to you, I have found that being a submissive is liberating to the woman and they celebrate that state with their profile and with the right Dom they are not seeking to go to dinner as they could have done that on POF and that is regardless of what women feel they need to say in a public forum. It's the truth based on years of experience with many submissive women. You can be the exception and that does not bother me in the least bit but that does not make you something special over the women who are otherwise and they are the majority on the other side. 1. Ignore it. 2. Insult it. 3. Debate it. Who knew? 1) Smack it up 2) Flip it 3) Rub it down

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