RE: i need advice

RE: i need advice (Full Version)

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Blonderfluff -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 3:44:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant quote: ORIGINAL: Arturas quote: How ridiculous. What does her profile photos have to do with her explaining (yet again), that your limited experience with a few submissives is not representative of all submissive women? It's too bad you did not like my post. You have two choices. Ignore it or insult it or debate it. I would prefer you answer why my post is wrong. Now in response to you, I have found that being a submissive is liberating to the woman and they celebrate that state with their profile and with the right Dom they are not seeking to go to dinner as they could have done that on POF and that is regardless of what women feel they need to say in a public forum. It's the truth based on years of experience with many submissive women. You can be the exception and that does not bother me in the least bit but that does not make you something special over the women who are otherwise and they are the majority on the other side. 1. Ignore it. 2. Insult it. 3. Debate it. Who knew? [sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif]

Arturas -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 3:48:50 PM)
quote: Your problem is that you only see your way as being true of others and you do not speak for all submissives or Doms for that matter. I find your posts are designed not to be helpful, but to constantly promote your own relationship. I am listening. It is not truly meant to be a self promotion. I'm not gaining anything from such a tactic, I'm not sure you have a motive for the crime. I am not the only one who does it, most doms with experience have chimed in with the very same macho, perhaps more macho, than I write with but it might come with the years of being a Dom so you might have to consider the possibility that you are intimidated by experience that does not agree with your lack of experience and so you deal with that natural state by lashing out at those who you should simply listen to or ignore. Some people accuse me and star of trolling while ignoring the fact we are consistent in what we post rather than posting whatever it takes to stir up trouble and get attention, and are a successful couple who met here five or six years ago and are for a long time into BDSM, both public and private. In this thread, I have simply posted the way I have seen it and offered it this new Dom and never asked anyone to accept it or give me kudos for a job well done nor have I stooped to insulting those who disagree with me. What does that make me? Happy with myself.

Arturas -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 3:54:20 PM)
quote: I find your posts are designed not to be helpful, You know, the only helpful post provides how to do something. My post does that. Now it is your opportunity. You have my attention. How was it unhelpful and how could I be more helpful, since you brought it up?

OsideGirl -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 4:10:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelikaJ quote: ORIGINAL: Arturas quote: things still follow the good old fashioned rules of dating that you already are acquainted with. Adding BDSM doesn't make it any different. See my answer to that above. While star got to know me very well before moving into a long term relationship, neither she or others followed "the old fashioned rules for dating" when meeting for the first time. I did meet Star over dinner and we were fully vanilla that night because she lost her babysitter, but that is not the rule with submissives and Doms when first meeting. I assure you, and even star was in "don't take me out to dinner but pull my hair and make me a woman" mode on the next date. It's the way it really is. That has everything to do with the type of women you are personally attracted to. Most women have a different sense of personal boundaries than the women who respond to you that way, and we don't want our hair (either literally or figuratively) pulled on the first or second dates. Just because your personal mileage varies, does not make it the norm. And at the same time attempts to invalidate those of us that approached it differently. It was the rule for me to vanilla date. So, no, D/s from the first date was not the norm for me. And since he likes to use his personal relationship as proof....it means my proof is just as valid since we'll be married 14 years next month. But, I'll also say that I've never presented my relationship as perfect or even stated that it is was is ideal for all or most. I find it irritating when someone (especially from the opposite sex) states what most women want and tries to present their relationship as something without flaws....when we've seen the proof that it isn't.

UllrsIshtar -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 4:12:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant Since the rules on necro threads have changed, I'm sure we could shed quite a bit of light on peoples "one true wayism's". You never know who might have a STARing role in personal drama hell on these boards. Jus sayin Exiled If I had more time available, I'd do an edited 'best off' compilation.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 4:13:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant Since the rules on necro threads have changed, I'm sure we could shed quite a bit of light on peoples "one true wayism's". You never know who might have a STARing role in personal drama hell on these boards. Jus sayin Exiled If I had more time available, I'd do an edited 'best off' compilation. HOLY SHIT!!! I'll hold a fund raiser to make that happen! Jus sayin

Blueswordsman -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 4:14:06 PM)
tendermercies17, It's Three days since you talked with your Master. If he has not contacted you consider offering yourself. Example "Master tendermercies17 is ready to serve upon command." If he answers or don't, you have your answer. I read your profile. FYI The attributes of a perfect woman ... She is deaf, dumb, oversexed and owns a liquor store.

UllrsIshtar -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 4:31:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arturas I am not the only one who does it, most doms with experience have chimed in with the very same macho, perhaps more macho, than I write with but it might come with the years of being a Dom Not that I think you'll hear, understand, or mind this, but FYI: It's not the macho that's the issue per say... as you note, that's a rather common occurrence, and while sometimes met with scoff, it's rarely met with contempt -as your posts frequently are. It's the paragraph long soliloquies about the the shape of her legs, methods of your play and what she wears when going in such details does nothing but distract from the topic at hand that people consider pompous, self-promoting, and offensive. Where you to stick to the actual topic at hand, and answer to questions without the need for constant over-the-top floral embellishments nobody gives a shit about, your posts wouldn't be met with half the mockery they are now. Not that anybody minds you going on and on about what she's wearing, and how play went and such... it's just that you seem to find the need to insert those types of monologues whenever you have the chance, regardless of whether or not appropriate, making every single person on this forum view you as an insecure little man seeking to self-promote the fading glory of a relationship that only ever truly existed in his own head, in an attempt to hold on to a fantasy of how he wishes his life might have been... Wether that commonly held view about you and your relationship is accurate or not, I do not know, but I can assure you that it IS how your insistence on injecting romance-novel type soft-core pornography in every post you see an opening for it comes across. Take that information as you will...

UllrsIshtar -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 4:39:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant Since the rules on necro threads have changed, I'm sure we could shed quite a bit of light on peoples "one true wayism's". You never know who might have a STARing role in personal drama hell on these boards. Jus sayin Exiled If I had more time available, I'd do an edited 'best off' compilation. HOLY SHIT!!! I'll hold a fund raiser to make that happen! Jus sayin You have any idea how much time it'd take to go through 6k (counting the 'lead') of that sort of posts? I mean, you have to keep in mind that many will take 3-4 reads just to get through them without hysterical laughter... It'd take weeks.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 4:39:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar quote: ORIGINAL: Arturas I am not the only one who does it, most doms with experience have chimed in with the very same macho, perhaps more macho, than I write with but it might come with the years of being a Dom Not that I think you'll hear, understand, or mind this, but FYI: It's not the macho that's the issue per say... as you note, that's a rather common occurrence, and while sometimes met with scoff, it's rarely met with contempt -as your posts frequently are. It's the paragraph long soliloquies about the the shape of her legs, methods of your play and what she wears when going in such details does nothing but distract from the topic at hand that people consider pompous, self-promoting, and offensive. Where to you to stick to the actual topic at hand, and answer to questions without the need for content over-the-top floral embellishments nobody gives a shit about, your posts wouldn't be met with half the mockery they are now. Not that anybody minds you going on and on about what she's wearing, and how play went and such... it's just that you seem to find the need to insert those types of monologues whenever you have the chance, regardless of whether or not appropriate, making every single person on this forum view you as an insecure little man seeking to self-promote the fading glory of a relationship that only ever truly existed in his own head, in an attempt to hold on to a fantasy of how he wishes his life might have been... Weather that's accurate or not, I do not know, but that IS how your insistence of injecting romance novel type soft-core pornography in every post you see an opening for it comes across. Take that information as you will... YOU. ARE. AWESOME!

Killerangel -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 4:44:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar If I had more time available, I'd do an edited 'best off' compilation. Sadly enough, many of the best posts got pulled for various reasons….sigh. There's one post in particular that i would give my left arm to be visible and available for posterity...

Arturas -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 4:57:50 PM)
quote: Weather that's accurate or not, I do not know, but that IS how your insistence of injecting romance-novel type soft-core pornography in every post you see an opening for it comes across. At times I do embellish with some details of past experience. I enjoy it. I think others do this also about past experiences and even relationships. However, I will keep that in mind. Thanks.

MisterP61 -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 5:01:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Blueswordsman tendermercies17, It's Three days since you talked with your Master. If he has not contacted you consider offering yourself. Example "Master tendermercies17 is ready to serve upon command." If he answers or don't, you have your answer. I read your profile. FYI The attributes of a perfect woman ... She is deaf, dumb, oversexed and owns a liquor store. I am really trying to understand why none of the regulars here like you. You are so personable and likable (and please feel free to read that with as much sarcasm as you can muster).

Arturas -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 5:02:50 PM)
quote: No. It's NOT the way it really is. Please don't speak for female submissives until you become one. Let's examine if this is a reasonable suggestion. After all, how many submissive women do you know so intimately that you know what they do on their first meeting. I'll answer for you, exactly one. Only yourself. Whereas the Doms know more than one, sometimes many more than one in this manner and know more what they do than you could ever. So, suggesting I don't know how submissive women act and you do is a lost argument from the word go.

MisterP61 -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 5:05:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arturas quote: No. It's NOT the way it really is. Please don't speak for female submissives until you become one. Let's examine if this is a reasonable suggestion. After all, how many submissive women do you know so intimately that you know what they do on their first meeting. I'll answer for you, exactly one. Only yourself. Whereas the Doms know more than one, sometimes many more than one in this manner and know more what they do than you could ever. So, suggesting I don't know how submissive women act and you do is a lost argument from the word go. Dude. I am just going to watch this one. You open mouth. You insert the size 9 foot into the size 7 mouth. You choke. Are you really believing that submissive women do not talk to each other... ever? really?

UllrsIshtar -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 5:10:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arturas quote: Weather that's accurate or not, I do not know, but that IS how your insistence of injecting romance-novel type soft-core pornography in every post you see an opening for it comes across. At times I do embellish with some details of past experience. I enjoy it. I think others do this also about past experiences and even relationships. However, I will keep that in mind. Thanks. If you enjoy it, then I would suggest that his forum is as good a place as any to practice said enjoyment. It falls well within the scope of the TOS, and -I have to admit- it has becomes such a part of what makes CollarChat CollarChat that his place wouldn't be quite the same without it. At the same time, you do sometimes seem genuinely upset and distressed at the reactions you provoke. I've always taken that to be part of the 'role' you've enjoyed adopting here, but just in case that isn't what's going on, and you are sincerely unsure as to what it is you do that is provoking people to react to you as they do, I wanted to offer a perspective on it's causes. May I suggest -if it is a matter of you being genuinely distressed about people's reactions to you- starting separate threads, preferable in creative writing, to go into such detailed descriptions of your personal experiences, and keeping replies to other threads a little more 'businesslike'... Edited to add: As an afterthought... part of the reason people have such a strong reaction to you is because most people can truly not imagine you being sincere. It's not so much that we believe that you are blatantly lying, but more that the way in which you -supposedly innocently- present yourself in a so dramatically over-the-top manner makes people feel like you are deliberately caricaturing yourself for novelty's sake. It is truly hard for us to conceive of the possibility of there existing an adult male in your age group who could write the way you do and not fully expect people to react to it the way most members here do. As such, there is often the feeling that you are deliberately provoking the reactions you are getting, for reasons not fully understood.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 5:22:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arturas quote: No. It's NOT the way it really is. Please don't speak for female submissives until you become one. Let's examine if this is a reasonable suggestion. After all, how many submissive women do you know so intimately that you know what they do on their first meeting. I'll answer for you, exactly one. Only yourself. Whereas the Doms know more than one, sometimes many more than one in this manner and know more what they do than you could ever. So, suggesting I don't know how submissive women act and you do is a lost argument from the word go. Wow. You have no idea what you are getting yourself into here, bub. But I do look foreword to seeing you hit your panic button of "I have to log off now" as you crash and burn. Jus sayin Exiled

angelikaJ -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 5:24:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arturas quote: No. It's NOT the way it really is. Please don't speak for female submissives until you become one. Let's examine if this is a reasonable suggestion. After all, how many submissive women do you know so intimately that you know what they do on their first meeting. I'll answer for you, exactly one. Only yourself. Whereas the Doms know more than one, sometimes many more than one in this manner and know more what they do than you could ever. So, suggesting I don't know how submissive women act and you do is a lost argument from the word go. In addition to the very good point MisterP61 made, you are not noticing something else: several women have answered you stating that they do not see things the same way you do in your limited experience. So, obviously, she is not the exception here. I know I'm not.

Blonderfluff -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 5:26:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arturas quote: No. It's NOT the way it really is. Please don't speak for female submissives until you become one. Let's examine if this is a reasonable suggestion. After all, how many submissive women do you know so intimately that you know what they do on their first meeting. I'll answer for you, exactly one. Only yourself. Whereas the Doms know more than one, sometimes many more than one in this manner and know more what they do than you could ever. So, suggesting I don't know how submissive women act and you do is a lost argument from the word go. That is not true. Don't speak as if you know who is in my social circle. I have many submissive female friends. Eta. It took ALL my self control to limit my response to this^^^^

Arturas -> RE: i need advice (3/16/2014 5:28:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MisterP61 quote: ORIGINAL: Blueswordsman tendermercies17, It's Three days since you talked with your Master. If he has not contacted you consider offering yourself. Example "Master tendermercies17 is ready to serve upon command." If he answers or don't, you have your answer. I read your profile. FYI The attributes of a perfect woman ... She is deaf, dumb, oversexed and owns a liquor store. I am really trying to understand why none of the regulars here like you. You are so personable and likable (and please feel free to read that with as much sarcasm as you can muster). When we gather with locals we are in good company. I am from time to time surprised to find a local walk up to me an complement me on my journals. The forum regulars are not all like this. There are a few who have failed relationships and frankly just hate it when I mention mine and it seems to rub them the wrong way. It's also nasty when I don't answer with the common theme accepted by regulars here. It is a problem well know about a few "regulars" here, about being hostile to non-regulars, of which I consider myself one of. Most people so greeted leave but I have not and that pisses them off even more, it drove the Goreans crazy to have me on their turf not agreeing with their line and their definition of Gorean, so, I suppose having a few regulars hostile to me is not a bad thing. I would worry if it were the other way around. Now I would not have said this without being asked, but you did ask. Take this thread for example, what did my first post do to deserve such a negative reaction. It is because it is real world and frankly those who post a great deal here tend to lose focus on what happens out there and get in a rut and cannot accept something that conflicts with their views because and experienced outsider who calmly suggests the world is different than what a "regular" suggests is attacked rather than debated and one cannot debate with insult and cute icon characters or snarke, unless this is not your purpose here and I have heard it said that is not the purpose of regulars. But I don't care, because there are non-regulars and lurkers here by the thousands who I know are in the real world and need real world experience related to them, that is why they are here and they don't want to be regulars but are trying to get the straight scoop on how things work and giving them that is what I do regardless of what the "regulars" or the "we" think here. Fuck em. I say. You asked.

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