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RE: How long is too long? - 3/18/2014 2:27:35 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rowdy76

In part because of scheduling.. I work full time and go to school. I have at least one thing going 7 days a week. Off work Weds. Thurs, and have lab and class those days. So just jumping in the car and taking a day trip requires scheduling. I even mention in my profile, and added more to that section just now, that I am mainly looking for friends right now because of time constraints. The main reason I asked, and I am sorry I bothered, is because a few have acted like they won't talk unless you meet them after one conversation.


Fair enough. Then meet with her halfway. That cuts your time commitments down to 3 hours (1 hour drive there, 1 hour date, 1 hour drive back). Or have her come meet you. There's not reason the D-type always needs to be the one making the trip.

I'm with OsideGirl on this: if you don't even have time to schedule a meeting, you don't have time for a relationship, and you should probably let her know that sooner rather than later.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to Rowdy76)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How long is too long? - 3/18/2014 2:29:54 PM   
SinFix


Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		That was my thought osidegirl..... if you can't take some hours to meet someone, I would feel that you weren't that serious and would nix you as a potential immediately

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: How long is too long? - 3/18/2014 2:31:03 PM   
Rowdy76


Posts: 11
Joined: 11/17/2011
Status: offline 		Then I will just delete myself and walk away rather than try to meet like minded people and learn a few things. That's simple. Thank you

(in reply to SinFix)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: How long is too long? - 3/18/2014 2:32:57 PM   
SinFix


Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		Wow.. that comes off petty

(in reply to Rowdy76)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: How long is too long? - 3/18/2014 2:35:28 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		~FRing it~

If you don't have the time and are just looking for friends, Id just say that and cut out any talk of 24/7/365, relationships, or anything like that. My take was your profile is honestly sending mixed messages. If you don't plan on meeting someone for a long time...or ever, just say it. Nothing wrong with that so long as it's all on the table right from the start.

Another option is to limit your search for whatever to your immediate area. That way it's all right there in your backyard.

Or option #3 is always throwing down a flounce

You will get out of this what you put into it. You are never going to know someone in all honesty from emails and phone calls only. I'm not saying it doesn't happen though.

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 3/18/2014 2:53:29 PM >

(in reply to SinFix)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How long is too long? - 3/18/2014 2:35:36 PM   
TenderTorment


Posts: 304
Joined: 12/30/2012
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		A 2 hour drive that could result in

1. You meet, you chat, it's dead you move on.
2. You meet, you chat, no spark but hey you gain a friend.
3. You meet, you chat, insta spark, connection, bingo.

2 hours my friend, surely gotta be better than sitting wondering.........

(in reply to Rowdy76)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How long is too long? - 3/18/2014 2:37:23 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rowdy76

Then I will just delete myself and walk away rather than try to meet like minded people and learn a few things. That's simple. Thank you


You should reevaluate your position there and either ignore or put to good use the advice you are getting. There is a lot to be learned from this site, and walking away would be a HUGE mistake.

Jus sayin
Exiled

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to Rowdy76)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: How long is too long? - 3/18/2014 2:39:27 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline 		Yeah at coming off petty...

If you don't have time for a relationship, that doesn't mean that you can't still use this site to meet friends, and make contacts whom you can talk to online. It's just that your profile makes it sound like you're looking for offline, and if that isn't the case because you're not going to move forward with things, it's not fair to the woma(e)n you talk to if you're not upfront about the fact that they shouldn't expect things to go anywhere.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to TenderTorment)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How long is too long? - 3/18/2014 2:42:54 PM   
Blonderfluff


Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline 		It's a shame that you started a great thread, and want to walk away because everyone wasn't "rah, ray, you rock". The great thing about these Forums is you will always get an unvarnished answer.

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.



I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How long is too long? - 3/18/2014 2:45:32 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline 		OP, you're forgetting the off-chance that if you stay and re-vamp your profile, you might just meet someone that's in a similar situation to you.

I know several ladies who have very limited time due to life circumstances. I'll bet they're having trouble, finding people, too.

I think you're missing a bet, my friend.





_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to Blonderfluff)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How long is too long? - 3/18/2014 2:53:28 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

Yeah at coming off petty...

If you don't have time for a relationship, that doesn't mean that you can't still use this site to meet friends, and make contacts whom you can talk to online. It's just that your profile makes it sound like you're looking for offline, and if that isn't the case because you're not going to move forward with things, it's not fair to the woma(e)n you talk to if you're not upfront about the fact that they shouldn't expect things to go anywhere.


I'll also add that someone that doesn't live near you isn't going to relocate to be a friend with benefits. So, I would suggest that you remove the 24/7 references and look for someone local that is just looking for something extremely casual.

You're not really in position to be taking on the responsibility of a 24/7 D/s relationship.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How long is too long? - 3/18/2014 2:56:24 PM   
TenderTorment


Posts: 304
Joined: 12/30/2012
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rowdy76

Then I will just delete myself and walk away rather than try to meet like minded people and learn a few things. That's simple. Thank you


You are meeting like minded people and you are learning a few things, not everyone is going to say what you want to hear, that's the beauty of these boards, you might not like something but that doesn't mean you can't learn from it.

Walking away will achieve nothing but leave you looking back in 10 or 20 or 30 years time wondering about what if's, I strongly advise you to man up, suit up and go impress the fuck out of her..simples!

(in reply to Rowdy76)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How long is too long? - 3/18/2014 2:58:18 PM   
Blonderfluff


Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline 		And. There are quite a few "her"'s ^^^^. Up there reading. So.

We'll wait....

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.



I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to TenderTorment)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: How long is too long? - 3/18/2014 2:59:03 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rowdy76

Then I will just delete myself and walk away rather than try to meet like minded people and learn a few things. That's simple. Thank you


Ya know, I view having a temper tantrum as un-Dom-like. No one was mean to you. No one was rude to you. We asked questions and gave our view of the situation....which is what you asked for. We're just not telling you what you wanted to hear.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Rowdy76)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How long is too long? - 3/18/2014 3:00:02 PM   
Rowdy76


Posts: 11
Joined: 11/17/2011
Status: offline 		I apologize I spoke before thinking... I am not walking away, but have hidden my profile and taking a break until I have more time travel. I will simply stick the very small local group instead.

(in reply to TenderTorment)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How long is too long? - 3/18/2014 3:09:20 PM   
Blonderfluff


Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline 		And. You should stick around and keep posting!! Well done for coming back.

Now. It doesn't get much worse than this, unless you REALLY say something awful. Or unless you go down to Politics and Religion. ~shudders~

Oh. Unhde your profile. You can always delete anyone far away. And. You never know who could end up in your mail!

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.



I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to Rowdy76)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: How long is too long? - 3/18/2014 3:12:51 PM   
Toysinbabeland


Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff

And. You should stick around and keep posting!! Well done for coming back.

Now. It doesn't get much worse than this, unless you REALLY say something awful. Or unless you go down to Politics and Religion. ~shudders~

Oh. Unhde your profile. You can always delete anyone far away. And. You never know who could end up in your mail!



Why not just learn from your errors and progress? We aren't that scary of a group, and you could learn something.

_____________________________

*Smitten fox* that's all you need.

(in reply to Blonderfluff)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: How long is too long? - 3/18/2014 3:19:44 PM   
Rowdy76


Posts: 11
Joined: 11/17/2011
Status: offline 		No, I do think I will stay hidden for the time being. Like it was said, I don't have the time to devote to this. So I will take a break from it, and come when I have more time, and less stress and more patience. Reading this while typing a research paper that is already making you want to strangle yourself probably isn't the best idea.

(in reply to Blonderfluff)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: How long is too long? - 3/18/2014 5:26:38 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		*FR*
I never understand why people jump up to prevent people from backing off kink.  If there is no time for it the best thing to do is step away until there is.
Kink is not the be all, end all of life.  Sometimes you gotta work.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to Rowdy76)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: How long is too long? - 3/18/2014 6:26:12 PM   
Blueswordsman


Posts: 173
Joined: 10/3/2011
Status: offline 		If you talked for two months and enjoy each other’s conversation, It’s time to meet. Stop worrying about what she wants and give her what she want… A date with a dashing Dominant man.

If you have not actually seen each other there is always the possibility she may be shy or worried you may not find her appealing. Go for it.


(in reply to Rowdy76)
Profile   Post #: 40
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