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Consideration of a slave - 3/22/2014 7:24:04 AM   
BlkMastIndy


Posts: 20
Joined: 10/27/2013
Status: offline 		What does it mean when a Master has a slave under consideration? Is it a must that he do so?
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RE: Consideration of a slave - 3/22/2014 7:35:22 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Quite the opposite, lol. The theory is that "under consideration" takes them off the market while they focus on getting to know each other and deciding if they are right for each other. But in reality, many times the "dom" takes one slave off the market while he "gets to know" as many other slaves and subs as he can. And the sub/slaves get all giddy because someone thinks they are desirable enough to be put under consideration by the wonderful dom who has found them. So they focus on superdom and then get shocked and hurt when they find out that they've been deceived and were treated this way.

Just another bdsm concept that went wrong, lol.



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RE: Consideration of a slave - 3/22/2014 7:37:41 AM   
Kana


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Joined: 10/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkMastIndy

What does it mean when a Master has a slave under consideration? Is it a must that he do so?

It's the BDSM equivalent of taking it for a test drive.
Or maybe a 30 day money back trial period.

Either way, it's a Ronco product :-)

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RE: Consideration of a slave - 3/22/2014 7:41:15 AM   
Domnotlooking


Posts: 249
Joined: 8/11/2013
Status: offline 		It means that the average Joe Blow-average guy with dominant urges has been so swept up in the delusion that he's going to be so spoiled for choice among a swarm of prospective slavey partners that he can afford to have a beauty contest of candidates for "consideration".

Or it means he's found a gullible woman who will believe the above.

But usually, it's a just a lonely guy wanking on the internet and waiting for his lofty moment of slave-appraisal in vain.

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RE: Consideration of a slave - 3/22/2014 7:41:44 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
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From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkMastIndy
What does it mean when a Master has a slave under consideration? Is it a must that he do so?

It might mean "we're dating" or it might be the more cynical interpretation that windchymes talked about.

Overall it and words sound to my ears like the marks of fantasy based BDSM relationships rather than real world things. If I'm dating some woman I just say so. If I'm just "considering" some woman then I don't have any claim on her and don't need any word to describe it other than "friends".


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: Consideration of a slave - 3/22/2014 7:43:45 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline 		It's not official until the master gives the slave a "collar of consideration"(EDITED TO ADD: this collar is usually an inter-webz grab of a really nice leather collar with studs and spikes) and the slave agrees to wear it and posts about in their profile, ensuring the whole "master marking his territory" thing.





< Message edited by DaddySatyr -- 3/22/2014 7:46:09 AM >

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RE: Consideration of a slave - 3/22/2014 7:49:30 AM   
BlkMastIndy


Posts: 20
Joined: 10/27/2013
Status: offline 		Thank you that was very helpful. So how does a Master take a slave he truly wants to collar off the market? And the relationship is a long distance one? Is it best to leave things as they are until you actually meet and she's collared?

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RE: Consideration of a slave - 3/22/2014 7:52:09 AM   
Domnotlooking


Posts: 249
Joined: 8/11/2013
Status: offline 		What "market"? Either she's into you or she aint.

Either's she's telling you the truth about not talking to other people on the internet or she aint.

Time will tell.

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RE: Consideration of a slave - 3/22/2014 7:54:21 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		I might be old fashioned but I like 'I can see our relationship going somewhere, and I'd like us to become exclusive, how do you feel about that?'

You don't need to use any particular official term. There's no set way of doing it. As long as the two of you know where you stand, you're doing fine.

And yes, I would wait until you've actually met. You wouldn't marry someone you hadn't met yet, would you? Making commitments to each other before meeting sets you up for disappointment if it turns out there's no chemistry in the flesh. I generally wouldn't recommend collaring as soon as you meet, either, for the same reason. YMMV but collaring in my mind is a big commitment.

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RE: Consideration of a slave - 3/22/2014 7:54:24 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Ah... this is where it gets complicated.

I think the key to taking a slave that you to truly want to collar would be to have her in a position where she truly wants to be collared by you.

Personally, I wouldn't dream of "collaring" someone, or - since I'm not a "collaring" kind of d type - making it exclusive until I'd met her in person. Exclusivity ought really be a two way thing - so the question you ought to ask yourself is are you prepared to make some kind of commitment to a person you've never met in person?

If you want a serious LTR with someone, I'd say that you ought to be meeting in person, then making choices about exclusivity etc.

But... at this point, you should talk to the sub in question, does she want to go exclusive? Are you willing to be exclusive too?

If the answer to both of these is yes, then it would seem a little odd if neither of you made mention of it in your profiles... It doesn't have to be one of those "Under Consideration" statements... you could both simply say "Not looking at the moment as I'm exploring something with someone right now".



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RE: Consideration of a slave - 3/22/2014 7:57:21 AM   
BlkMastIndy


Posts: 20
Joined: 10/27/2013
Status: offline 		thank you that was very helpful and makes a lot of sense.

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RE: Consideration of a slave - 3/22/2014 8:01:14 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		You could do like High School and ask if she wants to "Go steady."

_____________________________

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HST

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RE: Consideration of a slave - 3/22/2014 8:18:16 AM   
BlkMastIndy


Posts: 20
Joined: 10/27/2013
Status: offline 		LOL thanks!

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RE: Consideration of a slave - 3/22/2014 8:23:32 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Domnotlooking
What "market"? Either she's into you or she aint. Either's she's telling you the truth about not talking to other people on the internet or she aint.

This. I prefer reality based approaches.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders
I might be old fashioned but I like 'I can see our relationship going somewhere, and I'd like us to become exclusive, how do you feel about that?'

And this because I prefer talking about important things in plain english rather than poorly defined BDSM code words.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: Consideration of a slave - 3/22/2014 8:37:34 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		FR

Yeah the whole 'under consideration' thing is an online phenomena that doesn't seem to mean much.

If there is distance between you, I most strongly recommend not getting too emotionally involved, or letting her get too emotionally involved, until you meet. In the meantime do plenty of vanilla getting to know you. You're looking for long term, which means you have to mesh in non kink ways as well.

This iffy getting to know you stage makes some *very* nervous. They have a strong urge to rush into a dynamic and carve it into stone. Don't do that.

It's far better to build a solid, secure foundation for the rest of the relationship.

In any case, congrats on the great potential, and welcome to the discussion side of CM.



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RE: Consideration of a slave - 3/22/2014 8:40:28 AM   
BlkMastIndy


Posts: 20
Joined: 10/27/2013
Status: offline 		Thanks to everyone. I'm learning so much.

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RE: Consideration of a slave - 3/22/2014 8:42:09 AM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Quite the opposite, lol. The theory is that "under consideration" takes them off the market while they focus on getting to know each other and deciding if they are right for each other. But in reality, many times the "dom" takes one slave off the market while he "gets to know" as many other slaves and subs as he can. And the sub/slaves get all giddy because someone thinks they are desirable enough to be put under consideration by the wonderful dom who has found them. So they focus on superdom and then get shocked and hurt when they find out that they've been deceived and were treated this way.

Just another bdsm concept that went wrong, lol.



This isn't true, my profile is hidden for this specific reason but if I unhide it you will still see in bold letters: SEARCH SUSPENDED, so other subs can back off. This is sort of the courting phase, if a sub is deflecting his attention to too many Dommes then it shows he has an inclination to disloyalty. Long distance relationships do exist even in this lifestyle and during this time a Domme can test your loyalty in different ways. If you do not want to be tied to this Domme you should let her know, I'm sure she won't care and continue her search. One of my subs has a dying parent, my other sub is travelling for work so obviously in the meantime I keep them under wraps from afar. Not everyone wants a sub who is in their zipcode.


_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

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RE: Consideration of a slave - 3/22/2014 8:48:37 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		Great, it sounds like you're making the concept work, but that doesn't make Windchyme's point invalid. There are lots of doms doing exactly what she described.

Personally, I dislike the concept because it implies the sub has to prove his or herself to the dominant to demonstrate their worthiness. I sort of feel that both parties are equal until the day the power exchange is agreed, so the dom should be doing as much proving as the sub.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to GoddessManko)
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RE: Consideration of a slave - 3/22/2014 8:52:25 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko


quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Quite the opposite, lol. The theory is that "under consideration" takes them off the market while they focus on getting to know each other and deciding if they are right for each other. But in reality, many times the "dom" takes one slave off the market while he "gets to know" as many other slaves and subs as he can. And the sub/slaves get all giddy because someone thinks they are desirable enough to be put under consideration by the wonderful dom who has found them. So they focus on superdom and then get shocked and hurt when they find out that they've been deceived and were treated this way.

Just another bdsm concept that went wrong, lol.



This isn't true, my profile is hidden for this specific reason but if I unhide it you will still see in bold letters: SEARCH SUSPENDED, so other subs can back off. This is sort of the courting phase, if a sub is deflecting his attention to too many Dommes then it shows he has an inclination to disloyalty. Long distance relationships do exist even in this lifestyle and during this time a Domme can test your loyalty in different ways. If you do not want to be tied to this Domme you should let her know, I'm sure she won't care and continue her search. One of my subs has a dying parent, my other sub is travelling for work so obviously in the meantime I keep them under wraps from afar. Not everyone wants a sub who is in their zipcode.



What you say is true IF both parties agree on the terms and adhere. But based on the dozens if not hundreds of threads I've seen in the past in here, MANY (as I said in my post, not ALL) parties involved don't. A lot of things "should" happen, but they just don't. It's too easy to be deceitful online.



_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to GoddessManko)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Consideration of a slave - 3/22/2014 8:54:17 AM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

Great, it sounds like you're making the concept work, but that doesn't make Windchyme's point invalid. There are lots of doms doing exactly what she described.

Personally, I dislike the concept because it implies the sub has to prove his or herself to the dominant to demonstrate their worthiness. I sort of feel that both parties are equal until the day the power exchange is agreed, so the dom should be doing as much proving as the sub.


My first sub I have met, we both like each other, his father is dying. I'm trying not to be an asshole. It is testing my patience but I am waiting for him while he is dealing with a difficult time. I gave him as much time as he needed. I was honest with him about the other sub I am considering and I haven't met him yet because I felt his loyalty needed testing because he is a chiseled successful pretty boy. It has nothing to do with not being on equal footing, but I understand what you mean. I think communication and transparency is important for all once you get to this point. You want to know for certain this is someone you can actually pursue something long term with and for a woman I think there has to be some prudence.
I understand what windchymes is saying but it's definitely not always the case and I definitely don't think the term is meaningless.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

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Profile   Post #: 20
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