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RE: Struggling Pro-Dommes - 3/25/2014 10:47:11 AM

MissAsylum

Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline

Weighing in here.

I no longer accept new clients for sessions since I've started a new career. However, while I was active, I didn't struggle past the first 5 months. The people who wanted free/ "might-as-well-be-free" sessions eventually stopped contacting me since I wasn't budging on my price. The ones who were serious about a session booked, showed up, paid, and often tipped on top of it.

The career I am in now is just as service based as pro doming with no bdsm involved. The people who are serious about getting a service that I provide are the same: book, show up, pay, and often tip on top.

I am only 24, so I can't say that I have years and years upon experience in either field, but I am damn good at what I do, my clients are happy, and I am worth every cent that I charge. And I get paid exactly that.

So there is the difference between the ones that struggle, and the ones that do not.

< Message edited by MissAsylum -- 3/25/2014 10:48:14 AM >

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Post #: 41

RE: Struggling Pro-Dommes - 3/25/2014 11:06:44 AM

joshua69

Posts: 84
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

So if I find a picture of a guy online and make a male profile, does that mean I am all of a sudden male? WOW! Amazing how quick that works....

Well, if he has an Adam's apple, it would kind of give it away. Don't you think? Or do you?

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 42

RE: Struggling Pro-Dommes - 3/25/2014 11:27:11 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Let's say I'm always super sceptical when I hear certain stories that a Domme charges so much less and all of a sudden is super busy, makes you wonder where that works. For most professions there is a going rate, if somebody is far below that going rate, people will wonder where the catch is. Now in a business where there is a lot of potential risk involved, would you trust somebody who's way below the going rate?

Even beyond that, in my industry we talk about what we call the "Walmart mentality". They'll always follow the lowest price for services. If you go after them as a customer, you'll always be chasing after them to keep their attention. They cause the most drama when something doesn't go the way they think it should and even when they go some where else, they want me to help fix the problems they had elsewhere. At the end of the day, they're not worth the money.

_____________________________

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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Post #: 43

RE: Struggling Pro-Dommes - 3/25/2014 11:29:35 AM

SacLawCA

Posts: 9
Joined: 3/25/2014
Status: offline

I frequent Pro-Dommes and I just pay what they ask. I've got the money and I enjoy the variety of women. It seems to me that a lot of them are struggling and I think it's because of their personalities. They aren't the easiest people to communicate with.

< Message edited by SacLawCA -- 3/25/2014 11:35:41 AM >

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 44

RE: Struggling Pro-Dommes - 3/25/2014 2:15:26 PM

Zonie63

Posts: 2826
Joined: 4/25/2011
From: The Old Pueblo
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

A pro domme session is a luxury, it's not something somebody needs, so if you don't have the spare cash to do it occasionally, you simply will not have the spare cash to do it when it's half price.

Well, yes, and in uncertain economic times, it's the luxuries which usually go first.

We've had a rash of restaurant closings lately around here, but it seems they're mostly the high-end, high-class, expensive places, while the greasy spoons and other cheap eateries still keep humming along with lots of business.

quote:

Let's say I'm always super sceptical when I hear certain stories that a Domme charges so much less and all of a sudden is super busy, makes you wonder where that works. For most professions there is a going rate, if somebody is far below that going rate, people will wonder where the catch is. Now in a business where there is a lot of potential risk involved, would you trust somebody who's way below the going rate?

That would be my main concern. To me, it's not a matter of the cost, but more a matter of personal safety. As you say, there is a great deal of risk involved, so if someone is offering a substantially discounted rate, then it might be reason for suspicion. Still, it's very much a "buyer beware" situation, since there's no reliable way for anyone to know what their credentials, knowledge, or experience might be. Anyone can put up a website or profile and claim to be anything.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 45

RE: Struggling Pro-Dommes - 3/25/2014 2:28:22 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: joshua69

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

So if I find a picture of a guy online and make a male profile, does that mean I am all of a sudden male? WOW! Amazing how quick that works....

Well, if he has an Adam's apple, it would kind of give it away. Don't you think? Or do you?

If you believe any picture on a profile, then I guess there is no point arguing, just wondering what the sky on your planet looks like....

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to joshua69)

Post #: 46

RE: Struggling Pro-Dommes - 3/25/2014 2:43:52 PM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

Ok, I'm gonna chime in..
As a pro Domme, I have to speak on MY behalf only.
I would definitely say I'm not struggling. My sessions start at $450. (START AT.)
And as MsAsylum added I also get tipped on top of that. I keep
Regulars and I have new subs. I agree with whoever it was that mentioned personality.
I think that plays a big role!

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 47

RE: Struggling Pro-Dommes - 3/25/2014 2:51:47 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zonie63

Well, yes, and in uncertain economic times, it's the luxuries which usually go first.

We've had a rash of restaurant closings lately around here, but it seems they're mostly the high-end, high-class, expensive places, while the greasy spoons and other cheap eateries still keep humming along with lots of business.

That would be my main concern. To me, it's not a matter of the cost, but more a matter of personal safety. As you say, there is a great deal of risk involved, so if someone is offering a substantially discounted rate, then it might be reason for suspicion. Still, it's very much a "buyer beware" situation, since there's no reliable way for anyone to know what their credentials, knowledge, or experience might be. Anyone can put up a website or profile and claim to be anything.

I don't know where you live, but in this area it seems dramatically different, the cheaper take out places are closing down as the people who frequent them seem to feel the pinch more.

Well, you seem to believe that most of the business comes from a random website, not quite, any good pro domme will usually have regulars, the regulars can afford to session and they aren't likely to risk their personal safety for somebody who might charge a cut rate. In fact, a few women who still work as pro dommes have actually raised their rates and reported an increase of business. Somebody who can afford a luxury wants it to be a luxury. Things have changed a bit, but usually a respectable place wouldn't rent to somebody who isn't top notch, because the risk of something going wrong (and I don't think I need to stress that an ambulance or the police outside is remarkably bad for business, especially one where discretion is as important as safety). As O-girl said, it's not the Walmart thing.

We briefly had a cheap clothing chain store (I think it was Peacocks) and a McDonalds on the High Street, both closed, there is a high end boutique there now who does a lot of business, despite the fact that there are several expensive boutiques in the area, the fancy Italian restaurant that is in place of the McD is actually mediocre at best but the prices are astronomical, and you have to book at least a day in advance...

It really depends on your market, I mean you wouldn't try and sell a luxury item cheap because it would mess with your brand. You will notice a ton of pro dommes showing up in times of recession and trying to do dumping prices and they're all not really doing well, the established ones aren't lowering their prices and are still doing well...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Zonie63)

Post #: 48

RE: Struggling Pro-Dommes - 3/25/2014 3:21:35 PM

David92506

Posts: 25
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline

The way I look at it is it's economics. If a person (who is middle class) wants to be trained once a week he/she will have to figure out their weekly budget. If a Pro-Domme is asking a rate that is beyond that budget, such as one poster said she charges $450 a session, they wouldn't be able to go to her. Let's face it, if a man is able to afford $450 a week, he is wealthy.

But this doesn't imply that the middle class is "cheap" or that they are "lesser than" wealthier men. It doesn't imply that they would make lousy submissives. It seems to me that there are people who are saying if a Pro-Domme lowers her rates, she will attract "undesirables."

Conversely, just because a Pro-Domme decides to lower her rates and cater to middle class society, it doesn't make her any less of a person than the Pro-Dommes who cater to the wealthier class. I write this because it also seems that there are people who are saying if a Pro-Domme lowers her rates than she really isn't a Pro-Domme, she is something else.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 49

RE: Struggling Pro-Dommes - 3/25/2014 3:31:54 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: joshua69

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

So if I find a picture of a guy online and make a male profile, does that mean I am all of a sudden male? WOW! Amazing how quick that works....

Well, if he has an Adam's apple, it would kind of give it away. Don't you think? Or do you?

Cupcake... it was a profile created on the day of the first post, that's now deleted. The only purpose it served was to start a thread bitching about proommes not having lower rates. It was obviously a sock profile, and the pictures where obviously not off the writer behind the profile.

Considering that, the most likely possibility of the writer behind the profile is male sub who wishes he'd be able to afford (more) sessions.

Methinks you seem a little obsessed with attempting to make people believe the writer behind the profile is actually female. Which is especially interesting because your reply to this thread was the first time you posted on this forum in 2 1/2 years. Sockpuppet much?

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 3/25/2014 3:33:48 PM >

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

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Post #: 50

RE: Struggling Pro-Dommes - 3/25/2014 3:38:31 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: David92506

The way I look at it is it's economics. If a person (who is middle class) wants to be trained once a week he/she will have to figure out their weekly budget. If a Pro-Domme is asking a rate that is beyond that budget, such as one poster said she charges $450 a session, they wouldn't be able to go to her. Let's face it, if a man is able to afford $450 a week, he is wealthy.

But this doesn't imply that the middle class is "cheap" or that they are "lesser than" wealthier men. It doesn't imply that they would make lousy submissives. It seems to me that there are people who are saying if a Pro-Domme lowers her rates, she will attract "undesirables."

Conversely, just because a Pro-Domme decides to lower her rates and cater to middle class society, it doesn't make her any less of a person than the Pro-Dommes who cater to the wealthier class. I write this because it also seems that there are people who are saying if a Pro-Domme lowers her rates than she really isn't a Pro-Domme, she is something else.

The standard rate is $250 to $300, if somebody gets $450, great for her, would possibly depend on location too, if there is no other pro domme in the area, she can demand whatever she wants and would be stupid to charge less.

As for once a week, let me tell you that most clients don't session once a week, maybe every 2 weeks or once a month is more likely, some only session every 2 or 3 months.

Nobody said it makes her less of a person, but you can only do a certain amount of sessions a day, it might be great news to you but you need rest, but if you're happy to be the 10th session a day of somebody who's having a rate you can afford each week, I'm not stopping you, it's not my hide that's on the line.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to David92506)

Post #: 51

RE: Struggling Pro-Dommes - 3/25/2014 3:41:00 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

Methinks you seem a little obsessed with attempting to make people believe the writer behind the profile is actually female. Which is especially interesting because your reply to this thread was the first time you posted on this forum in 2 1/2 years. Sockpuppet much?

Not to be nit-picky, but this thread wasn't his first post in that time frame. His others have been pulled and he's now on moderation. But otherwise your assessment is spot on.

_____________________________

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Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Post #: 52

RE: Struggling Pro-Dommes - 3/25/2014 3:49:05 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

if there is no other pro domme in the area, she can demand whatever she wants and would be stupid to charge less.

I'll be the first to admit I'm not an expert, but I'm not sure that's completely accurate. Where I live, there's very little market for a pro domme and what few clients there are can find an escort who will wear a leather miniskirt, bring a pair of handcuffs, and then provide a handjob or strap-on play at the finish. I don't know that a pro could charge that much here.

But maybe that's what you meant about location being a factor? I don't know so please forgive my ignorance on this subject.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 53

RE: Struggling Pro-Dommes - 3/25/2014 4:07:51 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

Basically if there is a market but not much supply, you set your own price.

No disrespect to TNDommeK, but her rates in a place like NYC, where there are tons of pro dommes that are well established and charge between 250 and 300, and she'd be the new fish in a pond teeming with fish, that possibly wouldn't work so well, simply because there is a lot of choice and a lot of information.

In some places it's difficult to be a domme, so the dommes there are quite careful and vet their clients, their rates also tend to be higher as it reflects the higher risk they take. Let's say you have a place where LE targets pro dommes actively (and if the raid they don't want to leave empty handed), the screening process is much more thorough (aka time consuming, references, double checking with the dommes the prospective client gave as a reference), the price will also reflect that.

Then what the guys who want "much cheaper sessions" don't get, they see the 1 hour session as this is what the domme makes for an hour, which is BS, professional pictures cost a lot, 2 shoots a year are standard, advertising, dungeon rental (or if you own it the upkeep and equipment), then you prepare for a session, some sessions (actually most) require a set up, you are usually dealing with an elaborate fantasy, you have all the tools and equipment ready (if you dare to leave the room for more than 2 minutes, the client will be angry and outraged), then clean up and sterilizing, also factor the costs of that into it....

The idea that you can session back to back for 5 hours is just plain utopia. I'm a bit OCD when it comes to hygiene, even if I haven't drawn blood, a whip, a cane or any impact instrument that came in touch with skin will be disinfected, it it's from a porous material, it will be aired for 2 weeks to make sure nothing can be transmitted. Trust me, that makes for a hell lot of toys and makes replacing them quite often a necessity. After each session there is a thorough clean of equipment, floor and furniture, which often takes a lot longer than the session (hospital grade cleaners, then a steam cleaner, then airing the room as nobody wants a hospital smell in a dungeon, tends to turn people off), if you session 5 times in a 12 hour shift, you are at maximum capacity and you had a few "easy" sessions that didn't require much cleaning. Depending on the dungeon, between 40 and 60% of what you charge goes to them for rent. You can't do that 5 or 7 days a week or you'll burn out. Burn out rate amongst dommes is really high.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 54

RE: Struggling Pro-Dommes - 3/25/2014 4:36:14 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

~The following message is brought to you by Reality Check inc~

quote:

ORIGINAL: David92506

If a person (who is middle class) wants to be trained once a week he/she will have to figure out their weekly budget.

Sessioning with a prodomme does not equal 'training'.

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 3/25/2014 4:39:01 PM >

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to David92506)

Post #: 55

RE: Struggling Pro-Dommes - 3/25/2014 4:46:53 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: David92506
It doesn't imply that they would make lousy submissives.

In my view, it implies that they aren't submissives.

BDSM is not D/s. BDSM is kink. Paying someone to engage in kink is bottoming. You are not submitting to that Pro-Domme. You're paying her to provide a service, which is to get your kink itch scratched.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to David92506)

Post #: 56

RE: Struggling Pro-Dommes - 3/25/2014 5:11:36 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JulieLACA

I'm with a struggling Pro-Domme, that charges for men, but not for women. She takes me to private parties and different BDSM gatherings. I get to meet other struggling Pro-Dommes too. Generally speaking, they work at jobs they do not enjoy and would like to be a full-time Pro-Domme. I listen to their stories and complaints as to why they can't make it full-time. My Mom has her own business (non-BDSM) and I help her sometimes. I'm also getting a degree in Business. I would like to share my perspectives on why these young and attractive Pro-Dommes are struggling. These observations are not intended for successful Pro-Dommes. They are not for Dommes that work at jobs they enjoy and only want to see several clients a week.

I've asked several Pro-Dommes why don't they lower their prices so they can get regular customers.

There Are A Lot Of Risks Being A Pro-Domme. There Are So Many Weirdos & Crazies In This Field So The Price I Charge Compensates Me For This & If I Charge Lower It Wouldn't Be Worth The Risk
Excuse me? You have one of the safest jobs out there because you get to screen the people before accepting them as clients. There are thousands of other professions that are more dangerous than yours. Police officers, convenient store owners, anyone who works with the general public - they don't get to screen anyone.

Being A Pro-Domme Can Be Very Demanding & Stressful Because Of All The Different Personalities I Have To Deal With. What I Charge Compensates Me For This
You don't think this applies to everyone else? Everyone has a demanding and stressful job. Think of the cashiers at groceries or DMV workers. You act as if your job has special circumstances.

I Have My Own Dungeon With Expensive Equipment. I Need To Be Compensated & If I Charge Lower Prices It Isn't Worth It
Excuse me? Everyone who starts their own business has to buy expensive equipment: Dentists, Chiropractors, Acupuncturists, etc. This is just par for the course. You act as if your special.

I Put A Lot Of Time & Effort In Being A Pro-Domme. I Wouldn't Feel Good Charging Less. It Wouldn't Be Dignified
So, you are working at a crappy job, and you feel dignified about that? You don't think other business people have to be competitive and cut prices to be successful?

From my perspective, Pro-Domme is just like any other business: supply and demand. If your doing everything else right: advertising, etc., then the reason might very well be your charging too much.

What do you think?

That this is laughable.

< Message edited by LookieNoNookie -- 3/25/2014 5:25:15 PM >

(in reply to JulieLACA)

Post #: 57

RE: Struggling Pro-Dommes - 3/25/2014 7:52:10 PM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

Oh I totally agree with the location thing. I'm not saying there aren't pros here but if there are, I'm not aware.

To be honest, if I were else where I'm not sure I would change my price, because I look at things differently. If everyone else is charging the same things, there has to be someone who is different. I would be the different person. they can either afford to come see me or they can go see someone else. Bottom line is, if I'm who they want to see they're going to pay my price.

My regulars usually come once or twice a month. I've had one sub for over 8 yrs. He travels from memphis now to see me.
I'm sure there are struggling dommes, but IMHO, there are things they can do not to be. But I don't think most want to put that work in.
The hours, the outfits, the dungeons, the cost of furnishing dungeons etc.... Can be a lot!

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 58

RE: Struggling Pro-Dommes - 3/25/2014 7:56:26 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

One of these days, K, I'm going to drive down there and beg you to show me the ropes of what you do. I've always been fascinated by pro domination even though I don't think I have the personality for it. But I'd really love to learn more. I'll be your cleaning wench for a day or something.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to TNDommeK)

Post #: 59

RE: Struggling Pro-Dommes - 3/26/2014 12:02:43 AM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

Are you kiddin??
I'm pretty sure you're a natural! You could run circles around me.
And why should you be a cleaning wench? That's what we have slaves for. Lol
We will sit and supervise!

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 60

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