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Mind fuck - 3/27/2014 8:40:31 AM   
AlphaFemsRule


Posts: 52
Joined: 1/7/2014
Status: offline 		Lately, I've been thinking about the concept of mind-fucking or whatever term is associated with the mental /emotional aspect of D/s.

There's something sexy about the idea of a woman bending my mind to get what she wants or mentally controlling me in some way. Probably because the very act of adapting my behavior to suit her preferences is one of the fundamentals of submission. However, I don't know how this works or what it's like to have it done.

Who has mentally dominated someone or been mentally dominated? What did you do? What was it like?
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RE: Mind fuck - 3/27/2014 8:47:49 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline 		I'd love to write pages on this thread. However, your "no troll" policy prohibits it.

Jus sayin
Exiled

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RE: Mind fuck - 3/27/2014 8:51:07 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
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From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AlphaFemsRule
Who has mentally dominated someone or been mentally dominated? What did you do? What was it like?

I used to do this regularly with Carol... not so much any more. My own experience, however, probably isn't going to be any fun for you. I just dominated her. I told her flat out, "Here's what I want you to think/believe/feel." Generally she experienced some sense of panic (fear of failure and fear of foreign viewpoint). I did more because I wanted some change in her rather than it made either of us hot. Success rate was pretty good but not 100%.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: Mind fuck - 3/27/2014 8:56:47 AM   
AlphaFemsRule


Posts: 52
Joined: 1/7/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
I used to do this regularly with Carol... not so much any more. My own experience, however, probably isn't going to be any fun for you. I just dominated her. I told her flat out, "Here's what I want you to think/believe/feel." Generally she experienced some sense of panic (fear of failure and fear of foreign viewpoint). I did more because I wanted some change in her rather than it made either of us hot. Success rate was pretty good but not 100%.


Was there any sort of thrill for you, at all - despite the pragmatic approach?

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RE: Mind fuck - 3/27/2014 9:12:55 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		I don't do mind fucks. Never, ever, ever. Besides my moral compass, I believe it erodes trust and can backfire. Who knows what psychological triggers might get set off?
I notice that many sadistic Dommes get into it, but that's an informal observation.

Mental Domination and mind fucks aren't the same thing. A mind fuck is more akin to mental cruelty and/or emotional sadism.
Be careful what you ask for -- You just might get it.

I've heard a few Dommes gleefully swap stories about tricking their sub(s) into thinking they were being given another sub's cum in their squirtable strap-ons.
Another example would be the Cuckoldress who torments her partner as if she's going out with another man on pretense to make him think she's fooling around on him more often than she really is.

[ETA word]

< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 3/27/2014 9:19:54 AM >

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RE: Mind fuck - 3/27/2014 9:37:36 AM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		There are a lot of people that don't do "mind fuck" because they believe that the dominant is lying to the sub. Personally I would more consider what you are talking about as a form of mental bondage. Which is something I take part in often. I have more than once been in a relationship with a bratty sub, let them believe what they wanted to, then explained to them later how I was actually the one in control the whole time. That I did things they did not understand to be bread crumbs that were leading them where I wanted them to go. I admit I rather like the look of shock, sometimes horror, on their faces when they realize that they were not as cleaver as they had thought. I could tell you all sorts of stories from making one think I was going to kill her to letting one sit in jail believing I was coming with bail until he was hopeless and believed he would stay there forever. Mental bondage can be a very tricky thing depending on the result you want to see in the end. I will also say that, though it is something I take part in with almost every person I am in a relationship with, people should be very careful when doing something like this. I have seen people broken to the point that they can not heal from having their mind fucked one to many times or in the wrong way. And I mean that sincerely, remember I am the lady that plays with loaded guns and sharp pointy things. Playing with someone's brain is a whole different matter.

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It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

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RE: Mind fuck - 3/27/2014 9:44:14 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AlphaFemsRule
Was there any sort of thrill for you, at all - despite the pragmatic approach?

In a sense, yes.

In order to simply directly impress a new viewpoint onto someone they need to really, really respect and trust you. So there was the whole, "OMG I can't believe that she sees me as the sort of guy who is trustworthy with that level of invasive control." I felt proud and flattered.

Note that when the topic in question was sexual there might well be a sexual thrill as a result of the successful change. In other words, if I want her to view showing some cleavage in public differently and she does that so wears lower cut blouses then I'm going to get a thrill from looking at the cleavage. I tend to be more about results than process.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: Mind fuck - 3/27/2014 9:50:42 AM   
AlphaFemsRule


Posts: 52
Joined: 1/7/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain

There are a lot of people that don't do "mind fuck" because they believe that the dominant is lying to the sub. Personally I would more consider what you are talking about as a form of mental bondage. Which is something I take part in often. I have more than once been in a relationship with a bratty sub, let them believe what they wanted to, then explained to them later how I was actually the one in control the whole time. That I did things they did not understand to be bread crumbs that were leading them where I wanted them to go. I admit I rather like the look of shock, sometimes horror, on their faces when they realize that they were not as cleaver as they had thought.


Yes, I think that's more along the lines of what I was getting at. I'm certainly not looking to be broken or irrevocably fucked up (and as arrogant as this may sound, I'd wager I'm too analytical and intelligent for most people to pull this off properly). To me, it's more a game of mental chess wherein I'm always impressed by someones skill at thinking several steps ahead and being able to mold a situation to their liking.

Or maybe I just like a woman who can establish herself over me with subtlety as opposed to an over-the-top approach of pain and such.

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RE: Mind fuck - 3/27/2014 10:08:50 AM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		We would, each and everyone of us, like to believe that we are bright enough to be above having someone manipulate us into doing something. If it is true or not is an individual thing. As for a game of chess, that is how I view almost every part of wiitwd. I know some people take offense at it but for me it has always been a game, and one I always intend to win. Of course there have been times when I didn't win but...live and learn. It has always made my game better the next time around. But then if you ask me chess is not only a good way to describe mental bondage but life itself. Of course I would say it is a little more like Three-dimensional chess (think Star Trek) than the kind most people are used to playing.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

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RE: Mind fuck - 3/27/2014 10:48:57 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		In life in general, I don't want this. I need to trust that what I know and perceive is the truth (as much as truth can exist, since it's so subjective, but that's not really the point...) otherwise I'd feel insecure and vulnerable all the time.

Jeff makes a good point that if you respect someone very much your opinions can easily be changed to match theirs, but I'm not sure that's really the same as 'mind fuck' which implies deliberately screwing with someone's perceptions.

In play, however, it's hot as balls.

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Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

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RE: Mind fuck - 3/27/2014 11:48:38 AM   
FightingChains


Posts: 293
Joined: 3/18/2014
Status: offline 		Anyone did it in real life? I'd leave them. No questions. My 4 year relationship would be over.

In play? I have no such limits. I could handle it, but I'd be extremely pissed off. But in play I'm emotionally masochistic so the more hatred/dislike of things, the merrier, anyway.

< Message edited by FightingChains -- 3/27/2014 11:49:13 AM >

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RE: Mind fuck - 3/27/2014 12:10:47 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		In play, mind fucks absolutely have their place, might be hard for people who's knowledge about BDSM is just theoretical, but a lot of people get off on fear, the not knowing, or they want to act out a scene that is as real as possible... Some things can be just too dangerous, that's when a mindfuck comes in.

I once convinced somebody that I would brand him with an iron (as in a clothes iron), had him strapped down, the iron plugged in, even tested it with a wet finger before I blindfolded him so he could hear the sizzle, in the end all I slapped on his shoulder was a packet of frozen fish fingers. The body can't distinguish if it's hot or cold, he was screaming his head off. Mission accomplished.

A good mind fuck is not convincing somebody else, a good mind fuck is letting somebody else convince themselves something is going to happen, in a lot of cases it's just as intense as the real thing happening but inherently less dangerous.

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There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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RE: Mind fuck - 3/27/2014 12:30:10 PM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		Agreed. Mind fucks in play are okay. In the relationship overall, not okay. When I scened in the past, I had to throw in a little bit of mental anguish to heighten the effect. But once done, I'd always pull back. Takes a lot to keep that action going, and for no good reason.

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RE: Mind fuck - 3/27/2014 12:30:57 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline 		From the sub point of view, I actually love a good mind fuck as you say. I enjoy the mental aspects of domination as much as the physical. What is not clear from the OP's question is the Mind Fuck a day to day thing or just once in a while?

When I am speaking of mind fucks I specifically mean during play. For instance, being blindfold and then Domme threaten to cut me with a knife. She plays around with the knife for blindfolding me. Erotically teases me. Once blindfolded the teasing continues until all of a sudden she presses harder and I feel the flow of warm liquid down the area she was pressing on. With the use of ice cubes, a very dull knife, and some warm water a talented Domme can make you question whether she just actually cut you. All your senses tell you that you are cut. You can even fill the warm fluid flowing from your body but in your mind you know she would never do that to you!

This is just one of many mind fuck scenarios a talented Domme can do. It really gets the adrenaline pumping. Now I will say that the people I play with know my limits and would never cross them. And I trust them without question for that. But they can still fuck with my mind in certain situations. Visual, auditory, tactile inputs all play into your mind saying no she would never do that. It is a serious adrenaline rush I truly adore. Some people enjoy it, some do not. I see nothing wrong with it if both people agree to this type of play.

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Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

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RE: Mind fuck - 3/27/2014 1:18:16 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Mummy, you want to try that electric knife ;)

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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RE: Mind fuck - 3/27/2014 1:26:06 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Mummy, you want to try that electric knife ;)


LC,
If I am visiting you I am bringing several cases of pallet wrap with me in various colors. I will let you decide on the electric knife . Telling me before hand might spoil it :)

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

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RE: Mind fuck - 3/27/2014 1:36:45 PM   
edendream


Posts: 9
Joined: 4/5/2004
Status: offline 		Such an excellent question, made me think.

The 'mind fuck', to me, is individual to the relationship. In my relationships with submissive men, I enjoy teasing, denial, seduction, sexuality, and above all, the exchange of wits. I want him to be intrigued with me and want more. What I want this intrigue and desire to lead to is the submissive man discovering, for himself, that he craves time with me.

So how is this a 'mind fuck'?

What I am talking about is that an authentic 'mind fuck', one that is not scene-based, is when the submissive man discovers that he desires me, not because of his fetish, or his desire for humiliation or whatever, but that he has to have MY type of domination; a domination that requires a very intelligent, sexy man give himself to me. Not to his idea of what a femme-domme is. I get turned-on and receive a lot of satisfaction when a powerful, intelligent man, realizes, to perhaps his horror, that he is beyond control when it comes to me. He feels compelled to want to interact with me. To plead, to beg, to flirt, to worship. . .whatever I want. It is not because I command him to be with me or do this or that per se, any submissive man can do many things a dominant woman might ask. I want a man to realize he is perhaps helpless to his cock and his intrigue with me. One submissive I have played with for a long time says that I "twist his mind." To me, that is the mind fuck. More relationship based.

For me, those 'mind fuck' relationships require a really smart man, who enjoys life, and is very competent in his day-to-day life. Then it is fun to seduce them into submission and enjoy the whole person.

If I have that basis, then the other, more scene-based mind-fucks can come into play. (like threats or having someone guess what is coming next, etc.)


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RE: Mind fuck - 3/27/2014 1:41:48 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Actually I don't have one, a friend has one and I played with it, tried it out on me, feels like somebody is actually cutting you

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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RE: Mind fuck - 3/27/2014 1:53:09 PM   
Blonderfluff


Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline 		Personally? I think the idea of a "mind fuck" falls into a bit of theatrics. I'm not one for the "honorifics" of WIITWD. The "sir" and walking on all fours. Meh. It has felt forced and fake to me. The dynamics that I've been in have been about emotional and physical dominance. Service and acquiescence. Leading and following. Having him play "tricks" on me to turn me on? Never occurred to us, and would probably have not worked. I knew them too well, and I just can't throw myself into role play. So no, mind fucks would do very little for me.

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RE: Mind fuck - 3/27/2014 2:32:02 PM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline 		OP I like the idea of a mind fuck. But then again my sadism is kind of trickling into a lot of areas it normally doesn't so I have to review my comments about bdsm being therapeutic.
I think for a stubborn sub, for instance one who thinks I'll be some kind of pushover? I like winning them over with my usually sweet vanilla personality and then warping their perceptions entirely when I have them in my clutches.
Meaning as a sub, if I'm being unusually nice and accommodating, you should worry. It means I'm trying to lure you into underestimating me. If I'm being a bit garish in nature it means I like you and I'm comfortable enough to be that way. In my vanilla life I enjoy being sweet, and extra sweet to those who dislike me. I don't ever feel like I have to be billy bad ass 24/7. Some of my friends think I'm nice to everyone, in fact too nice. That's a bit of a mind fuck in itself, isn't it? :-)


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Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

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The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

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