quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity

I totally agree with you. Sounds like you have questions and concerns as to your motivations behind why. And it's great you are trying to get some guidance to figure things out. It's never too late if that is where your heart and soul leads you. Its just a matter of figuring out where exactly your heart and soul are leading you . Just take it step by step...one little step at a time.

Lao-Tzu once said that "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"

quote:

ORIGINAL: njlauren

Cobalt-
Your last statement is very wise, because so many things can cause people to think they are something when they are not. Despite what some of the idiot set might think, people questioning their gender don't go to therapists to 'get cured', which is the province of 'religious' counselors (and is thus bogus), they go to help themselves figure out what they are and what they need. Gender identity covers a wide spectrum, and sometimes people assume that transition is all there is, when people can do a variety of things (on the other hand, you have someone like the head of a local crossdressers 'sorority' telling me that I 'didn't need to transition', that "it is okay to be a crossdresers' and 'transgender people are all fucked up"....*grrr*. ).

There are some gay men who once upon a time wanted to transition because they had real problems with being attracted to men as a male, there are also people who simply are confused, or in some cases, see it as the fantasy of being this gorgeous woman with the sex drive of a man (probably from watching too much trans porn..).

You obviously are struggling with something, and you can simply tell your mom that you are feeling depressed, not sure of yourself, and see if she would be willing to get you to a therapist The tricky part might be in finding someone who is experienced with gender questioning and such, a lot are, more than a few of them may have notions it isn't real, it is delusional, etc (in my experience, half of them are dried up 1970's feminists, the other half like that are religious nuts). It is why I gave you links to some groups in your area, they can give you referrals or maybe have their own low cost counseling.

It is a journey of many steps, and it starts with that first attempt at getting help. The net is all fine and good, but you need to take the real step, and see where it goes. You won't know if your mom will help you if you don't ask:). You don't have to mention the gender stuff (I wouldn't), I would just mention you aren't feeling great about yourself, are confused about things, and want to talk to a therapist or counselor about things.

quote:

Yeah. I wish i had someway to get my mom to take me to therapy, but im afraid she will think im being over dramatic.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

Yeah. I wish i had someway to get my mom to take me to therapy, but im afraid she will think im being over dramatic.

I don't understand why, at age 21, you need your mother to take you to therapy. Do you lack transportation? Do you need permission as you are on her health insurance?

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ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

Yeah. I wish i had someway to get my mom to take me to therapy, but im afraid she will think im being over dramatic.

I don't understand why, at age 21, you need your mother to take you to therapy. Do you lack transportation? Do you need permission as you are on her health insurance?

I lack transportation and im on her insurance.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Just tell your mom you aren't quite feeling yourself and you would like to see your primary care doctor.

Ask your primary care doctor for a referral to a counselor and a psychiatrist, because you feel depressed.
Depression is a medical illness.

Or you can look at your insurance card and see if there is a number for behavioral health.
You need not get into the gender identity stuff with them.

I suspect you are depressed and until you get that sorted out it is going to be difficult to sort anything else out or think clearly about much of anything.

As for being confused: you are just barely an adult.
At your age, your brain really isn't adult yet.
Be patient with yourself and your confusion.

Hippa will protect you from your mom having access to your health information.
If you signed a waiver allowing permission for her to have access, it is easy to rescind it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Just tell your mom you aren't quite feeling yourself and you would like to see your primary care doctor.

Ask your primary care doctor for a referral to a counselor and a psychiatrist, because you feel depressed.
Depression is a medical illness.

Or you can look at your insurance card and see if there is a number for behavioral health.
You need not get into the gender identity stuff with them.

I suspect you are depressed and until you get that sorted out it is going to be difficult to sort anything else out or think clearly about much of anything.

As for being confused: you are just barely an adult.
At your age, your brain really isn't adult yet.
Be patient with yourself and your confusion.

Hippa will protect you from your mom having access to your health information.
If you signed a waiver allowing permission for her to have access, it is easy to rescind it.

What, curious, makes you think im depressed? Im mean, i could be.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose


I dont go to college. Trying to. Part of me is thinking this might in fact be depression, and wanting to be a girl is just my responce. Sometimes being transexual is real the desire is real. Other times its a phase. No matter what the bigots OR politically correct say, both are possible. Which is why i REALLY need therapy to see if my wanting to be a girl is true or the diguise of a deep mental problem.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Also, your mom will ask less questions if you frame your need to see someone as depression.

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ORIGINAL: CobaltRose
After many, many years of soul searching (had it in my head since i was 15), i was finally able to admit this to myself: i am a girl....I just been too afraid to admit because i thought i was a sinner, that i was evil for feeling that way.

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ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

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ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Also, your mom will ask less questions if you frame your need to see someone as depression.

perhaps. you know, im worried that if it turns out i dont have gender confusion, then this whole thread will be a waste of whoever came to this thread's time.

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ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Also, your mom will ask less questions if you frame your need to see someone as depression.

perhaps. you know, im worried that if it turns out i dont have gender confusion, then this whole thread will be a waste of whoever came to this thread's time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

After many, many years of soul searching (had it in my head since i was 15), i was finally able to admit this to myself: i am a girl. All the years of denial, afraid of peoples judgement, no wonder i been so depressed. I am gonna remove my picture and my profile info. Im only gonna be here forthe forums until i am fully changed. I am not joking i really fel this way. My dom side was just my denial. I hope people take me seriously. Because i live with an ignorant brother who thinks only born females are real girls, and a very unsuportive family, barring perhaps one. I need some emotional support. I never got the chance to dress like one but i always felt happier pretending to be a girl. I grew out my beard because i was so confused. I thought something was wrong with me, that i had to be manly to get my desire to be female out of my head. But no, i need to embrace it. Now, first step, finding a way to painlessly remove my body and facial hair. I SUCK at shaving myself. Next step, getting money for hormones. Final step, surgery. This is NOT a kink, or a fetish. I dont care if iam a sexy girl or not, as long as im a girl. Because deep down ialways hated being a guy. I just been too afraid to admit because i thought i was a sinner, that i was evil for feeling that way.

Also, just so everyone knows, this is NOT AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE. i really should have waited a day.

quote:

ORIGINAL: njlauren

lookie-

Just a note, most of transition is not a one way ticket with the exception of SRS (surgery) or castration. People can and do revert, decided to transition, go through HRT, some get implants, then revert back when they feel it isn't the right path. Even after years of HRT the body can revert back, and things like breasts can be dealt with surgically if need be......once through SRS, though, it would be a tough path back...

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ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

quote:

ORIGINAL: njlauren

lookie-

Just a note, most of transition is not a one way ticket with the exception of SRS (surgery) or castration. People can and do revert, decided to transition, go through HRT, some get implants, then revert back when they feel it isn't the right path. Even after years of HRT the body can revert back, and things like breasts can be dealt with surgically if need be......once through SRS, though, it would be a tough path back...

Thats good to hear. Another reason not to get SRS. Honestly i really want to be a girl, i just wish i had a safe place to go. Living in one of the 29 states that can refuse service to LGBT is rather disheartening.