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RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/14/2014 6:03:50 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sandyTheSub

My Master would never allow me to talk down to someone, Dom or not.
But this is his choice. If I am angry at something I curse and if I am angry at someone I shout at them. This does not make it acceptable behaviour (even for a Dom it is not acceptable to try to hurt someones feelings) but we all are only human. So if one is angry, they are going to act it out.
Though it all is a matter of what is the reason the person is so angry. Maybe they had a bad day or something just ticked them off - I don't think it is acceptable to ever lash out like that, but even subs are only people ;)


Exactly. it is HIS protocol you're following, not some universal truth.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to sandyTheSub)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/14/2014 10:28:54 AM   
sandyTheSub


Posts: 24
Joined: 4/13/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
Exactly. it is HIS protocol you're following, not some universal truth.


His protocol is for me to be mannered to all people, which of course is his choice.
But this is just protocol. This does not mean that sub won't get mad and act out. The only difference here between a sub and a non sub is the punishment afterwards.

I am still a human being and I am still going to cry, course and yell when I am upset. And it is the right of every human being to get angry. One should not act out and hurt other people if one gets angry, but sometimes one can't help it. So I don't think a sub should be held to different standards just because she is a sub. Of course protocol violation will be punished, but this is a total different matter to the question OP posted. A sub is still a sub even if she gets angry and yells and says mean stuff. This does not make her any less of a sub.

People get angry, people act out. This is sadly human nature.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/14/2014 3:20:40 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Off topic, no it is not just human behavior to yell and curse and be as hurtful as possible. You can learn healthy coping skills.
Which the punishment isn't doing. He's punishing you because he hasn't taught you how to handle your feelings in a better manner. And that's wrong because it won't solve the problem.

I used to get short tempered every afternoon because he would skip lunch. Because I take meds in the early morning, I can't eat breakfast right away. So frequently come 3 or 4 PM I was unable to control my attitude. Punishment would never have helped. What did help was addressing the problem. "Why are you getting snippy?" "Because I'm hungry". Adding in time for me to eat breakfast and planning for a lunch break solved the problem.

For inappropriate addressing of anger there are other coping skills. First you figure out who taught you to be as hurtful as possible, who did this to you. Then you address the issues of hurt that came from that relationship. Then you practice fighting fair. http://happylists.wordpress.com/2008/08/01/37-rules-to-fighting-fair/

When I'm angry I use words. I say "When you said X it hurt my feelings. Was that your intention?" And I allow him to know why I am hurt and to restate what he meant in ways that directly address the problem without trying to be offensive. As does he to me. But not taking responsibility for your actions and words is inexcusable.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to sandyTheSub)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/14/2014 8:04:12 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		My attiude reflects on my Master. Si if some one is nice and at the very least civil to me i respond in kind. If someone on line is nasty to me i show my Master ( as ordered) In person if someone is nasty to me if possible i will just walk away , If that is not possible i would ingnore them If that was not posseible i would be very cold to thm. So my behavior will reflect well on him. After all i love him don;t wnt to give him a "black eye" in the community. That would not be right of me.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/19/2014 7:55:11 AM   
TiedUpReady


Posts: 15
Joined: 9/14/2012
Status: offline 		Yes I have, frequently.

Just because someone calls themselves a dom/me or master, doesn't mean that they have the right to expect deference from every sub in the land. A d-type is my peer, not my superior. I'll treat them with respect as a human, just as I would anyone. But if they pull the "I am dom hear me roar" crap, then they'll get short shrift.

(in reply to sandyTheSub)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/19/2014 11:28:51 AM   
Chwilfrydig


Posts: 156
Joined: 1/15/2014
Status: offline 		I agree with you TiedUpReady, but also I wanted to say the second image on your profile is HILARIOUS. I had to copy it, enlarge it and squint to read the details, but it was SO worth it. Did you write that?

Chili the Curious

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My username is Welsh for "curious".

(in reply to TiedUpReady)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/19/2014 12:20:34 PM   
TiedUpReady


Posts: 15
Joined: 9/14/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chwilfrydig

I agree with you TiedUpReady, but also I wanted to say the second image on your profile is HILARIOUS. I had to copy it, enlarge it and squint to read the details, but it was SO worth it. Did you write that?

Chili the Curious



Thank you. I didn't write it, it was written for me by a friend :)

(in reply to Chwilfrydig)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/22/2014 10:10:45 AM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		Did the sub ask you to do something for free?

(in reply to TiedUpReady)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 6/7/2014 5:50:32 PM   
slaveoubliette


Posts: 74
Joined: 5/22/2014
Status: offline 		what is the issue block him or her and move on..... it is a troll

(in reply to ali3findomme)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 6/15/2014 5:50:02 PM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		You're not his submissive, and he has every right to tell you off if he felt disrespected. I note that you only included his final response to you and not the rest of the conversation, in order to stack the deck against him.

News flash: Being dominant in any sense does not entitle you to an unlimited amount of respect. And if you show no respect to the submissives who potentially support you, why should anyone indulge you?

(in reply to ali3findomme)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 6/21/2014 1:51:22 AM   
missbrownjinx


Posts: 29
Joined: 6/11/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: ali3findomme

Personally I don't think talking down to a woman is very 'submissive' like :) nor is telling a dom to basically ignore their fetish just so their fetish needs can be fulfilled.
what do y'all think? :)

If he's not YOUR submissive, then he can speak to you however he likes. Besides, maybe he thought some 19 year old Paypal Princess wasn't a real dominant?


I have to say, the responses here are incredibly amusing. Also, 'Paypal princess' is my new favourite phrase.

You guys, chill out on the hate on the OP, she has every right to not be subject to racist remarks, no matter what. There are no qualifiers, no 'oh she said X on her profile so she deserves Y'. No. Full stop. Period. Racism is the sign of an underdeveloped mind.

Someone mentioned she shows no respect for subs. Well, I disagree. But in any case respect should be earned. The so-called sub could have just not messaged her, but instead chose to be a keyboard warrior, which is ultimately a cowardly act. He thinks that by saying something insulting, he will make her feel somehow 'lesser'. I am used to this, and honey at 19 (if that is your real age) trust me you have a lot of that ahead.

Brush it off and keep on, sister.


(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 6/21/2014 10:43:17 AM   
Valkyrien


Posts: 147
Joined: 5/9/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
Block and delete instead.


This ^^


(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 6/21/2014 10:45:01 AM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missbrownjinx


quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: ali3findomme

Personally I don't think talking down to a woman is very 'submissive' like :) nor is telling a dom to basically ignore their fetish just so their fetish needs can be fulfilled.
what do y'all think? :)

If he's not YOUR submissive, then he can speak to you however he likes. Besides, maybe he thought some 19 year old Paypal Princess wasn't a real dominant?


I have to say, the responses here are incredibly amusing. Also, 'Paypal princess' is my new favourite phrase.

You guys, chill out on the hate on the OP, she has every right to not be subject to racist remarks, no matter what. There are no qualifiers, no 'oh she said X on her profile so she deserves Y'. No. Full stop. Period. Racism is the sign of an underdeveloped mind.

Someone mentioned she shows no respect for subs. Well, I disagree. But in any case respect should be earned. The so-called sub could have just not messaged her, but instead chose to be a keyboard warrior, which is ultimately a cowardly act. He thinks that by saying something insulting, he will make her feel somehow 'lesser'. I am used to this, and honey at 19 (if that is your real age) trust me you have a lot of that ahead.

Brush it off and keep on, sister.


She wasn't bitching about the racist comments as much as she was bitching about someone who DARED speak down to her because of assumed lifestyle roles. He could have not messaged her, but she could have exercised the same restraint. She doesn't get a free pass for playing the dominant OR the victim card.

(in reply to missbrownjinx)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 6/24/2014 4:10:13 PM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline 		FR

*Sigh*.

I suspect they never would talk down to a Dom in a face to face in a club environment or munch. I suspect it matters little in either situation. I have "subs" talk down to me here all the time. I ran into a few at the local club and they were completely different (and somehow surprised star and I were there), although one girl stole star's kneeling cushion while she stepped away but I suspect that is a girl to girl thing. In either situation they made no impression on me since I did not care what they think or say.

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 6/24/2014 4:15:02 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

FR

*Sigh*.

I suspect they never would talk down to a Dom in a face to face in a club environment or munch.

I suspect the Venn diagram showing the real world and your fantasy world is two circles that aren't even close to touching.

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 6/24/2014 4:17:05 PM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef


quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

FR

*Sigh*.

I suspect they never would talk down to a Dom in a face to face in a club environment or munch.

I suspect the Venn diagram showing the real world and your fantasy world is two circles that aren't even close to touching.


*Sigh*
Case in point.

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 6/24/2014 5:09:08 PM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

FR

*Sigh*.

I suspect they never would talk down to a Dom in a face to face in a club environment or munch. I suspect it matters little in either situation. I have "subs" talk down to me here all the time. I ran into a few at the local club and they were completely different (and somehow surprised star and I were there), although one girl stole star's kneeling cushion while she stepped away but I suspect that is a girl to girl thing. In either situation they made no impression on me since I did not care what they think or say.
Maybe, but at the same time I think a lot of these "doms" wouldn't dare act the way they do in the real world as they do online.

I have no problem telling off someone who presumes to dominate me within a few minutes of meeting in either setting. I'd ask what prompted these subs to tell you off, but I get the impression you're not all that worried about it.

(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 6/24/2014 5:25:10 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

*Sigh*
Case in point.

I know your forum status is deranged, but are you truly so deranged as to think that just because you call yourself a "dom" or a "master" or whatever laughable title you hang on yourself that people would be afraid to call you, say, a pompous windbag in person?

That's funny.

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 6/24/2014 5:27:59 PM   
Moderator3


Posts: 3289
Status: offline 		FR (edit)

Good Afternoon.

Need I say more?

< Message edited by Moderator3 -- 6/24/2014 5:28:29 PM >

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 6/24/2014 5:34:41 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline 		As a dominant I am not owed shit from anyone, that includes respect. If I earn the respect then, and only then, do I expect it.

To the OP, better get tougher skin my dear or people are going to chew you up and spit you out and be highly amused in the process.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 40
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