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RE: Cheating - 11/24/2004 9:30:21 AM

smile2cu

Posts: 265
Joined: 7/21/2004
From: Dayton, OH
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EStrict
Smile, I am not picking on you, honest. But I admit I don't understand your logic. If your wife has always believed you to be cheating, isn't it better to allow her the peace of mind of knowing she is correct and that knowing that with other's it is *just sex* than to torture her with the insecurity of if you will find a sex partner that you are going to find that you leave her for?

Hi EStrict, You'd think so, wouldn't you? I tried that, somewhat obliquely, since as soon as I started she made it pretty clear she didn't want to know. I think she's in a better position to choose what she wants for peace of mind than others. Somehow, in the oblique discussion, I think I did manage to convey that it would be *just sex*, so I don't think she's especially worried that I'll leave her for a sex partner.

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Friendly, kind, cheerful, and oral.

~smile~

(in reply to EStrict)

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Post #: 61

RE: Cheating - 11/24/2004 10:02:10 AM

smile2cu

Posts: 265
Joined: 7/21/2004
From: Dayton, OH
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MemphisDsCouple

quote:

I truly don't understand why so many of you here feel ready to impose a solution on others. Sad to see the lack of tolerance.
Hi smile2cu.
Actually....... from reading this thread, it seems to me that most of the writers are trying to avoid imposing a solution on anyone. Most seem to be addressing the concept of cheating (and the flip side of that coin - honesty) in a broad, philosophical context. I know I tried to do that when I wrote.
...
B. (the male half if MemphisDsCouple)

Hi B, Yes, you and quite a number of the members addressed the issue in a broad, philosophical context. And I thank you all and respect you.

But I'm sorry to say there are a number who did seem willing to impose a solution on others. The particular quote you have is from earlier in the thread, where the writer states "They have made a commitment.. they need to keep that commitment or end the relationship.." Well, I think this is, in some cases, an over-simplification. Particularly since this post came after I had explained my situation.

I don't mean to single out this one post, since there are a number of others, but as I suggested before, I think we need to find a larger place for the virtues of Tolerance, Understanding and Charity somewhere in our schemes of morality.

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~smile~

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Post #: 62

RE: Cheating - 11/24/2004 10:41:29 AM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

and deception is wrong

it has to do with intelligence

I don't think it has anything to with intelligence, maybe judgement but not intelligence. I'm sure many intelligent people have cheated.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to RiotGirl)

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Post #: 63

RE: Cheating - 11/24/2004 4:15:29 PM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I think what that says about me is that the decision was not taken lightly, and that I'm now pretty happy with my choices

Then this says it all concerning you smile
and no one but you and yours knows whats
best for both. but no matter who or what
anytime a Commitment especially when
Love is concerned ends it is always a sad
time for not just those it effects personally
but those all around whom sees its ending
as well.

I cannot nor can anyone here not give you
your absolution in your choices that can only
be gained by your own soul. But Others do
and will judge Us for the actions We take in
life and love and breaking a vow of devotion
It is a pretty hard pill to swollow even for the lax.
you must admit that you did set your self up
for a possible fall here with your words. Get
out your masocistic nerves and Enjoy the ride!!!
~smiles~

MIND Did You really expect anyone to discuss
such a issue with out having an opinion on it based
off of personal experiance?? People cheat for many
reasons and sex is not the other way nor reason that
folks cheat. but it is the one reason that pulls deep
apon everyones heartstrings in sum kind of way be
it because they were the one cheated on in their past
or the one whom has choosen to cheat and has had
the experaince of such from either one side or the
other and each experiance has been different because
every person is different and everyone can take sumthing
from others experiances no matter what side of the coin
that experiance falls on and thats what makes such forums
and questions important as We as Alternate Living folks
learn Our differances and likenesses and become more
educated in what not only is out in the world different
but how We react to such differances and gain skills that
We can use in every day situations to learn tolerance and
acceptance for those whom do things differantly to Our views
but have the right to do such none the less regardless if
We agree with it or not. JMO

(in reply to smile2cu)

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Post #: 64