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Master doesn't treat me like a slave - 4/21/2014 5:26:52 PM   
Leatherprincess4


Posts: 11
Joined: 3/31/2014
Status: offline 		I found a new master recently who is fairly new to the lifestyle. While the sex is not bad, hes very cautious about how rough hes willing to be with me.
I've had several masters who were apprehensive at first (as I am pretty tiny and fragile looking) but most of them warmed up fairly quickly.
How do I tell this one just how much pain I can take? Because apparently saying "I wanna hurt for days" isn't getting the point across.
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RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave - 4/21/2014 5:30:40 PM   
LuciferianX


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/23/2013
Status: offline 		That's a great question. I think part of it is that a lot of dominants are naturally scared of the consequences if something goes wrong; you might have to get out the flogger and a pillow and demonstrate what you want and how hard. If he's the right Master for you, he'll accept the coaching gracefully and then turn around and practice on you directly.

(in reply to Leatherprincess4)
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RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave - 4/21/2014 5:40:18 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherprincess4

I found a new master recently who is fairly new to the lifestyle. While the sex is not bad, hes very cautious about how rough hes willing to be with me.
I've had several masters who were apprehensive at first (as I am pretty tiny and fragile looking) but most of them warmed up fairly quickly.
How do I tell this one just how much pain I can take? Because apparently saying "I wanna hurt for days" isn't getting the point across.

There is a possibility that he won't ever warm up to the idea of giving you pain. Not all Masters are interested in rough sex.
Since he is new, I'd suggest you tread carefully and avoid words that reflect poorly on his performance, or lack of, such
as "I wish you'd hit harder". The last thing he needs to feel is incompetent. Instead, be very vocal and compliment him on how much pleasure
he does give you when he is making the effort. It will go a long way in building his confidence in going further. If he is interested in doing so.

< Message edited by poise -- 4/21/2014 6:35:59 PM >

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to Leatherprincess4)
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RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave - 4/21/2014 7:43:37 PM   
Darkfeather


Posts: 1142
Joined: 3/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherprincess4

I found a new master recently who is fairly new to the lifestyle. While the sex is not bad, hes very cautious about how rough hes willing to be with me.
I've had several masters who were apprehensive at first (as I am pretty tiny and fragile looking) but most of them warmed up fairly quickly.
How do I tell this one just how much pain I can take? Because apparently saying "I wanna hurt for days" isn't getting the point across.


Not every dominant is the same. Just a fact of kink. Some like to cut swaths of leather to shreds with a bullwhip. Others can't get themselves to raise a welt on another person. There are no rules to which one is the better or worse dominant, just who is the better fit. Just as there are some submissive who run for the hills at the sight of said bullwhip. If the one you have now can or cannot be what you need, that is something you will have to deal with. Blood-lust and sadistic enjoyment is not something you can really "learn"

(in reply to Leatherprincess4)
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RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave - 4/21/2014 8:07:03 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherprincess4

I found a new master recently who is fairly new to the lifestyle. While the sex is not bad, hes very cautious about how rough hes willing to be with me.
I've had several masters who were apprehensive at first (as I am pretty tiny and fragile looking) but most of them warmed up fairly quickly.
How do I tell this one just how much pain I can take? Because apparently saying "I wanna hurt for days" isn't getting the point across.


He's a guy.

If he's a rational guy he's aware that he can be sent to prison.

(in reply to Leatherprincess4)
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RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave - 4/21/2014 10:56:08 PM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		One could argue that a Master treats his slave however he finds pleasing. If he's treating you in the way that pleases HIM (gently) rather than the way that pleases you (harder) then he is in fact very much treating you like a slave.

That aside, how new are we talking here? How long have you been together? Does he fantasize about this very hard stuff you want, or is he just doing it to humour you?

If he's not into it, he may never get there. If he is, then perhaps you just need to give him some time. Don't put so much pressure on to be your fantasy guy from day one- give him space to find his own tastes. And let him work up slowly. Going from brand new to beating someone so hard it hurts for days takes some getting used to - not to mention, learning some safe techniques. Probably a good thing he didn't just start wailing away on you from day one.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to Leatherprincess4)
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RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave - 4/22/2014 1:26:01 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		How much pain you can take has nothing to do with slavehood. If you want to feel pain.... You need a sadist.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Leatherprincess4)
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RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave - 4/22/2014 4:02:57 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		Have you tried telling him he hits like a girl?

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to Leatherprincess4)
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RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave - 4/22/2014 5:54:05 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		If this is a true M/s relationship, you need to inform him that you want more pain. He then will:

1. Change to give you more.
2. Allow someone else in the relationship for you.
3. Do nothing.

It actually sounds like you agreed to an M/s dynamic without determining compatibility completely.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave - 4/22/2014 8:29:59 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

How much pain you can take has nothing to do with slavehood. If you want to feel pain.... You need a sadist.




THIS!

Seriously, you need a sadist, your master may not be a sadist.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave - 4/22/2014 2:06:24 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		How about you stop dominating him by telling him what to do and when, and be grateful for what he chooses to give you.
Because if he's the dominant, then this is his decision and not yours. If you're the dominant and he's just service topping you, that's different.

You either wait till he feels comfortable going harder or you find someone who already is more compatible play wise. But really, op, this is your fault for agreeing to be owned when you didn't have the slightest idea if you were compatible or not.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Greta75)
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RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave - 4/23/2014 11:11:05 AM   
Crouchingtiger77


Posts: 174
Joined: 10/21/2012
Status: offline 		What was said about the word 'jail' is I think relevant.

If per chance he did beat you as you liked, and an infection resulted
that must be looked at at a hospital, tell me, do you think the doctors
and nurses are going to consider you when you say:

"But, I'm a slave and I told him to beat me like this."?

What do you think would be the responses of the doctors?

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave - 4/24/2014 2:13:49 PM   
Leatherprincess4


Posts: 11
Joined: 3/31/2014
Status: offline 		Hes only had one slave previously who was more into humiliation. We've only been together for about 3 months and I'm definately thinking we're not compatible but I find it very difficult to meet doms in my area. I live in a college town so everyone I meet is around my age which is great, but many of them call themselves doms without grasping the concept of what that actually means.

(in reply to Crouchingtiger77)
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RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave - 4/24/2014 2:28:27 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherprincess4

Hes only had one slave previously who was more into humiliation. We've only been together for about 3 months and I'm definately thinking we're not compatible but I find it very difficult to meet doms in my area. I live in a college town so everyone I meet is around my age which is great, but many of them call themselves doms without grasping the concept of what that actually means.



This sounds a bit insulting to the man you're with, very "Well...this is the best I can do, so I'm going to stick around in case something better doesn't come along"
I think you really need to assess if you're happy, if you really want to please him. To me, it sounds like you aren't taking the relationship very seriously, and he should know that.

(in reply to Leatherprincess4)
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RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave - 4/24/2014 3:00:01 PM   
InHisHeart


Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline 		If you feel you're definitely not compatible then why do you stay? Settling because it's hard to find a Dom in your area is unfair to him and to you. Finding the right person to be in a relationship with takes time.

_____________________________

I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.


(in reply to Leatherprincess4)
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RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave - 4/24/2014 3:07:33 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherprincess4

Hes only had one slave previously who was more into humiliation. We've only been together for about 3 months and I'm definately thinking we're not compatible but I find it very difficult to meet doms in my area. I live in a college town so everyone I meet is around my age which is great, but many of them call themselves doms without grasping the concept of what that actually means.


Hell you are "only" 22 how can you have had "several masters" as master doesn't happen overnight?!?! "but many of them call themselves doms without grasping the concept of what that actually means." TO YOU. If you ask 20 different ppl what dom means you will get 20 different answers.

My guess is your a instanta sub. That is looking for a fetish delivery system insert dom here and when they don't do things "your" way, You post "how can I get what I want from him". News flash it ain't about YOU!

So instead of slutting around find someone with mutual interests before you hop in the sack.

BadOne


< Message edited by SailingBum -- 4/24/2014 3:08:18 PM >

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Leatherprincess4)
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RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave - 4/24/2014 4:24:41 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Comfort in what we do, as in vanilla relationships, takes time to settle into what is good for both people.

Gosh, its been three whole months and you aren't happy with what is going on? It took over a year for my sweetie to be comfortable hitting me hard - and he is an admitted sadist. As was said by SailingBum, there is no such thing as instant relationship.

and if you don't think he is compatible but you are going to stay with him because no-one else has presented themselves in a more favourable light? - then shame on you for leading the poor man on.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave - 4/24/2014 7:27:13 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherprincess4

Hes only had one slave previously who was more into humiliation. We've only been together for about 3 months and I'm definately thinking we're not compatible but I find it very difficult to meet doms in my area. I live in a college town so everyone I meet is around my age which is great, but many of them call themselves doms without grasping the concept of what that actually means.


I bounced around a little, (Making some cringy choices along the way... ugh...) before I found my fit.

Believe it or not, I met him off of Craigslist.

A BDSM relationship isn't something special. To work, you need so much more than Master and slave, you need to look at this as an actual relationship, and not, as someone else said, a fetish delivery system.


_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to Leatherprincess4)
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RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave - 4/25/2014 6:39:28 AM   
Xxxsmilesxxx


Posts: 18
Joined: 7/10/2013
Status: offline 		I can relate in that my Dom use to have more playtime with me than now. I've asked for some and it didn't turn out well. So, I guess I have to try harder and be patient. Gook luck hon.

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave - 4/25/2014 7:25:24 AM   
Toysinbabeland


Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline 		Consider that you are in pain because you are continuing to sacrifice your need for physical aggression.

_____________________________

*Smitten fox* that's all you need.

(in reply to Xxxsmilesxxx)
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