caitlyn
Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
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I'm dubious about my ability to properly slam the United Kingdom, but as it was pointed out that my serious post will only offend, I feel the need to at least try. We will stick with the hotel theme. Please be so kind as to pass this on to your convention and tourism organizations, whatever they may be called.
We stayed at the Radisson May Fair in London, which is supposed to be a five-star hotel. A few quick points.
1. When you stay at a $300 a night hotel in the United States, you get a suite. For those not familier with the term, a suite has multiple rooms, including one where you would sleep, and one you could just hang out, watch television, eat, etc ...
NOTE: If you have to sit on your bed to eat, you are in a crappy hotel ... no matter what you paid.
2. A dresser is a place to put your clothing, likewise a closet serves the same function. Taking into consideration that people paying that much for a room will probably not be wearing the same clothing every day ... please consider actually having enough room to hang/fold and store at least a weeks worth of clothes. It's a pain in the ass to have to live out of suitcases. Everyone knows your are a tourist a mile away, because all your clothes have suitcase fold lines all over them.
3. Combine #1 and #2 ... when you only have one room, and you have luggage all over it, you look like you came to London for the baggage handlers convention.
NOTE: Have enough room for people to store their crap. Have a place for them to put EMPTY luggage. Have a closet that has enough room for a weeks worth of dresses, and for the love of God, three hangers is about ten too few.
4. If you are a hotel, there is an expectation that actual travellers may be staying there. Exactly 22% of these travellers may be American. We found this out earlier, in some very mean-spirited posts. Americans take lots of showers, and many of them don't use the same towel again, and again, and again. If you shower when you get up, then walk around London all day, you may want to shower again before you eat, in which case your towel from the morning will still be wet. Dry towels, dry. Wet towels don't.
NOTE: Have enough towels for a person to take more then one shower a day. I realize that some American are like compulsive clean freaks and may take as many as three showers a day. If that's not acceptable, please name your hotel the "Radisson, No Fucking Clean American, May Fair Hotel."
NOTE #2: If you call down to the desk to ask for more towels ... NO, I didn't just grow a third eye in the middle of my forehead, and YES, I actually want some. NO, you don't have to say, "Miss, you need more towels?" and YES, I do understand that housekeeping left towels this morning.
Note #3: The towels (actually it was towel) that is folded in the cabinet is the CLEAN towel ... all the others are the DIRTY towels. Housekeeping should take the dirty ones away, and make sure they replace them with an EQUAL number of clean ones. This will ensure that guests don't have to repeat the steps taken in NOTE #2, every day.
FINAL NOTES ON TOWELS: Towels shouldn't be that complicated: lots, clean, dry, daily!!! I know we didn't cover that at the UN ... I guess we thought people could figure it out on their own.
5. Roomservice in the UK sucks. All they have is fried shit, fish on a cracker and little fried things with whipped cream in them. It's completely impossible to get fruit delivered to your room in the UK. You could go buy some food, but since you don't have a second room, you don't have a small refrigerator to keep it in.
NOTE: If you order roomservice breakfast, it will come with some dark stuff in a small bowl, that looks like chocolate. I don't know what it is, but it isn't chocolate. I should have asked during my daily towel call, but I didn't. Whatever it is, by international law it should have a biohazzard symbol on the bowl. Warning, do not eat it, under any conditions. I think it may be some kind of laxative. If it isn't, it should be.
6. Don't knock on my door, EVER. When you knock on my door while I'm sleeping in a strange place, it scares the shit out of me and I'm likely to scream. This isn't the Holiday Inn. A hotel this expensive is supposed to know when you are gone, and send the cleaning people then. You are the country that could detect the whole fucking German airforce. I'm sure you can keep track of one American girl.
OK ... that's the best I can do. Sorry for offending you earlier with my serious comments. 
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RE: Minority but what the Hell lol - 
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